Untouchable: Chapter 11: Read Receipt and Repentance
Sean settled into his couch and reread Oliver and his messages, he realized he had hardly texted Xander since his Litterday party. The dishes were in the sink and could wait but he couldn't. Xander had ignored his last several text messages, and he processed Oliver's words about the Pack.Oliver's message yesterday after Sean asked why he spent time with homophobic friends, "if they never know a gay man, they won't know who they hate." Oliver had messaged.Sean messaged, "so it's self sacrificial? doesn't that make them think what they do or say is ok? 'Oliver is fine with it? its not a problem.' kinda thing.""No I call them out when they cross the line," Oliver messaged.Sean thought, "I'm not calling the pack out when they cross the line, I'm hiding I guess, but how can I do this, how can I change things."Sean was going to message Sharron, when an e-mail, he had sent to one of Samantha's research colleagues, came back. He had not told her he contacted the research primary or posed as a prospective donor or volunteer. "Dear Mr. Miller,Thank you for your interest in the research. To participate in the project you can contribute at www.breathoflifeimmunology.org your donation will help us in the ground breaking research that we are doing to make cross species medications for immuno stability. Breath of Life is happy to be partnered with Mayo Clinic and the Baylor Institute, with your contributions we can bring more species into the research, all donations are currently being match by the Allergy and Asthma Foundation of America, the AAFA. You can also see the amazing progress we have been making in Allergy and Immunology research by visiting the Breath of Life Project Otter page, www.breathoflifeimmunology.org/start_otter/. Thank you for all the support.Sincerely,Dr Hanson MD, RT, PHd of ImmunologyMayo Clinic PrimaryBaylor Institute Joint Projects Liaison_______________________________________________________________________Hello Mr Miller,We have not moved into Canid trials, but as you are interested in participation, we will need a saliva and blood sample. Luckily for you our Allergist is on vacation in the Seattle Metro Area, she is available to meet for a sample collection Monday at 3:30PM if this will work. I forwarded your information to Dr Samantha Miller so she can follow up with you directly.Sincerely,Anastasia Jefferson, RNPColorado Allergy & Asthma Center P.C.""I'm an idiot," Sean thought then his phone buzzed on the table, but he just sat on the couch and ignored it. However his sister was more persistent then he expected. He got up and checked the messages. He had a voicemail and a
couple texts, but five calls no voicemail. He preview read the texts.Message 1 - "Sean!!!!!!! What the hell is my nurse practitioner doing setting us up for a sample collection?!? -_-"Message 2 - "we talked about this, it's not ready for canid trials and why would you go behind my back like this!"He unlocked his phone and it started to open to his messaging app. "Crap crap crap!"His phone rang again. He clicked to ignore the call.message 3 - "I have a read receipt that you read the messages, answer your phone before I show up with needles and none will be for samples"He messaged back, "that breaks your oath as a doctor."She messaged, "I'm your sister first."His phone rang again.He let it ring three times before he answered, "Sean here, who may I ask is calling?""Who else would it be, and what the hell?" Samantha growled."I'm tired of being in the sidelines." Sean said."Kay, lets try a complete thought this time. What are you feeling sidelined in, what, top of the line research because I'm sorry but everyone with out an MD generally is for this field," Samantha said."I want to do something about it, you took a cheek swab years ago but the research has moved forward, they can do blood tests and all that," Sean said."This is my life's work I know, all of the all that involved," Samantha said, "I don't jump into your career.""Only because you don't have a reason too, are you telling me I don't have a reason to get involved in my health?" Sean said."No you have every right but this isn't about your health this is about your infatuation with that cat Oscar," Samantha said."Tiger and Oliver, why do you both keep screwing up his name?" Sean asked."So that's a yes this is about a crush," Samantha asked."Yes... No... I don't know I just want to be normal in someway," Sean said."Well good luck no ones NORMAL, come on Sean, even if you do the research, will he wait for years for the potential of a physical relationship, there is no guaranties here Sean," Samantha said.He paced the living room."I only had a few consistently good things in my life, my work, Xander, and the gym," Sean said."Xander's pissed at me, I don't want to be a workaholic like dad, and I'll see Oliver at the gym everyday and be no closer to ever being with a guy like him," Sean said."Wait why don't you include me or the family as good things in your life?" Samantha said."Because I feel emotionally scarred by dad and the pack, and controlled and manipulated by Sharron, you and mom," Sean said, a cold flash ran through him."Well I didn't realize we were so completely horrible to you," Samantha said."Your not horrible there was and just stress with family," Sean said."Well
you'll have to learn to deal with that in a more productive way," Samantha said, "Isolating and avoiding things isn't fixing the issue.""I am working on it I am trying the talk about these things now, and take charge," Sean messaged."Fine I can get a the sample tomorrow at the dinnerYou should have talked to me Sean." Samantha messaged."Would we be getting the sampling done if I had talked to you first?" Sean asked."I'll see you tomorrow, Sean," Samantha messaged. Sean considered messaging more but didn't think it would help. He instead searched the news to see if he had real made that big of a scene. Not able to find anything he sat on the couch and tried to distract himself, from his feelings and fears, about himself and his shortcomings, what his family would be like tomorrow, whether Xander would cool off and speak to him again, and if Oliver would stick around or if they ever could be together. He couldn't do it so he got on his table and parused the same photos Xander teased him for days earlier.They didn't do anything for him today. He was clothed and for the first time he didn't want to get naked. "If I don't get naked because I like it why was I doing it?" Sean thought then got on Muzzlebook. Oliver and Paul had accepted his friend requests.He muzzlebook stalked Oliver, and Paul with a review of their recent photos, and posts.Oliver posted in the gym and even had one with himself in the background in the gym mirror. He tagged himself and commented."I see we have similar routines!"Paul's profile had many photos from Portland, he was in them with a, doll sheep, hyena, and a Rat Mouse hybrid. But the most recent we're all photos of him and Xander at Discovery or just of Xander. Sean heated, and tasted jealousy in the sour dryness of his current mood.But the shirtless photo of Xander and Paul cuddling on Olivers couch made him throw the tablet across the couch. Xander's dark fur was erratically ruffled and matted with static, handsome face in profile. Paul looked good and their coats complemented each other. Paul and Xander were both attractive.Sean though more on the photo of Oliver spotting someone on bench. Whoever took it caught him from behind captured him well, his chizzled back muscles showing through both fur and green camo tank top as his hands hovered by the bar ready.He imagined Oliver standing over him like Xander normally did spotting him. Oliver had Xander's big bulge. The idea got a stir in his pants. He pictured Xander again, smiling down at him, then they were face to face Xander screaming, "I'm not your size, fuck you, you have been given shit all your life and you throw that in my face, go to hell!"Sean grabbed a throw pillow and held it tight, he was in chaos. When Xander yelled at him he hadn't known what to do, he just stood there
frozen. Xander had left before he came back to himself. The smaller fur wasn't a turn off. "I want my size... so I don't get hurt and can't hurt you," he said to himself choked up. He had a long cry, while thinking about his rape and how it had ruined him till he fell asleep. He dreamed of Oliver standing over him, nose full of his wonderful scent, and it was mixed with Xander's. But this was a Xander he did not have to worry about being safe around, this was one that he could be rough with, one that wanted him to be rough. He shook his head, "Not Xander, I can't and I won't do that to him not ever."He was now back on Oliver's couch Xander trapped under him, yelping and scrambling to get away. But Sean was too strong he grabbed Xander's paws pinned them over his head, while Sean put his teeth around the back of Xander's neck. Xander whimpered in fear. Oliver and Paul stood watching by the couch. He heard his own voice call out, "No! Stop Please, NO!"Paul was now pinned under him squirming tail teasing his hard cock. Paul's struggled and screamed in pain as Sean forced his way into him. He could hear Xander and Oliver's approval which drove him the rest of the way forward. His heart raced as he quickly approached the edge. Then Xander was forcing his own way into his ass. It tore him, it wasn't the first time he hurt like this but it got him closer because Xander did it, Xander hurt him. Then he was choked by Oliver's thick cock while Paul lay crying under him. Oliver and Xander erupted into him, which sent Sean over the edge, he reach orgasm spraying his chin which awakened him. As his breath normalized his mind recoiled from his fantasy. It was like his guts were crushed in an inquisition bear trap. He ran to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. Guilt and shame full in his mind and heart.