It's Always Sunny in Liberty City - The Gang Moves In
Disclaimer: Okay…….there isn’t much in the yiffing category to this chapter. Its something I came up with while playing Xbox Live with NightWolvz. So enjoy. Oh, but I do use GTA 4’s Liberty City and I was not paid to use it, soooooo yeah. If you work at Rockstar Games, don’t be mad. Please.************ What happens when a fur can’t focus and decides he needs a change of scenery in order to buckle down and work? Well, in my case I rented a penthouse in Liberty City for three weeks. The only problem was that the rent was four times what I could afford, so I ended up inviting my fellow Yiffstar users Sylvr, Product59, and NightWolvz (AKA- John). They’d all chip in on the rent and share the penthouse with me.  I thought I was being smart and saving some cash, as well as giving myself an opportunity to get some work done. I couldn’t have been more wrong. (Cue the intro music and opening credits)Saturday, November 14, 5:40 P.M. Liberty CityArcticWolf451 (AKA Me/Kyle) â€" Okay, I think we’re all settled. We’ve got our bedrooms picked out, the fridge is stocked, and the Xbox is hooked up to the projector so we have a 12’ by 9’ screen to play Modern Warfare 2 on. And we’ve got ourselves a nice wired Ethernet network hooked up to my AT&T internet account, so we have Yiffstar, Xbox Live, and Facebook.NightWolvz- And pornz. You forgot pornz.Me- Unlike you, I don’t just use the internet for pornography. NW- Dude, you don’t even drink. And you wear clothes even though you’re a fur.Me- First of all, I’m 19. I can’t drink yet. Second, I wear clothes out of my respect to you guys. I don’t want to see your wolf junk hanging around, and I’m sure you don’t wanna see mine. NW- How do you know that?Me- Alright just get the fuck away from me.NW- Hey I was kidding! Damn man can’t you take a joke?Me- (sighs) Look, I need to go get to work on My Great Big Brother. And don’t bother trying to look at the Word document, I have it password encrypted. NW- (Flattens ears and gives dejected sigh) Me- That’s right. No snooping. NW- Screw this, I’m getting a beer. Me- We haven’t had dinner yet. Isn’t it kinda early?NW- What are you, my mom? It’s always a good time for beer.Me-Something tells me this whole sharing a penthouse is gonna be a bad idea.****Somewhere on the highway between Bohan and Algonquin.Sylvr- Hey thanks for coming with me while I got my new truck.Product 59- Meh, it’s nothing dude. I was bored and didn’t feel like helping set up the penthouse. Sylvr- Hey, there’s a Burger Shot coming up. Call Kyle and see what he and John want.59- Sure, as long as they chip in on this. Why’d you get a new truck anyway?Syl- Because I could. I’m gonna go truck pulling with it.59- Truck what?Syl- Just read my stories, I explain it in there. Now call Kyle and John, a’ight?****(Phone Rings)Me- Damn it. JOHN! GET THE PHONE!NW- WHAT?Me- Answer the phone! NW- No you!Me- I can’t answer it, I’m in the fucking bathroom taking a shower.(Answering machine comes on)59- Hey? Where’d you two idiots go? Heeeelllllooooooooo? Answer the phone John. Kyle? Anyone?(NightWolvz answers the phone) NW- Yeah what?59- Sylvr and I are at Burger Shot, what do you want?NW- Bleedin’ Tasty with a large fry, duh.59- What about Kyle?NW- He ain’t here.59- Why?NW- Cause he’s Kyle.59- Okay….I’m gonna hang up now.(Click)(Enter ArcticWolf) Me- Hey, who was on the phone.NW- Your mom.Me- UGH. See, this is why I don’t want you drinking before you’ve had any food. NW- Why?Me- Do I have to explain it?NW- No….but can you explain why I get hard from playing Modern Warfare 2?Me- Oh my god dude, that’s sick. And yes, I actually can. Keep the fucking controller off your crotch when you play, the vibrations it makes are messing with you.NW- (Looks down) Huh, you know what, I’m gonna go get on a mounted machinegun and hold down the trigger to see what happens.Me-  Dude that’s just wrong. I swear to God if you cum on my controller I’m gonna throw you out the window.NW- We’re fifty stories up! That’d kill me. Me- Duh. Now I’m gonna go back to work. Keep it down, okay.NW- Yeah sure whatever. Laterz.****6:00 P.M.(Enter Sylvr and Product 59)Sylvr- Yo! Guys I got the food.NW- Awesome, give it here.Me- (Looks through bag) Wait…where’s my food?59- John said you weren’t here so I didn’t get you anything.Me- (looks at John)NW- (Grins sheepishly as he begins to unwrap his burger)Me- (Punches John and catches his burger in mid-air as he drops it) Problem solved.59- Whoa. Dude is he okay? He’s not getting up.Me- (with mouthful of burger) Ohm, yeahg he’lb ee finef. (Swallows) He’s had like three beers in twenty minutes.  He’s just sleeping it off.Sylvr- (Shrugs) Works for me. *********8:00 P.M. (Kyle and John watching Family Guy on projector)NW- So, Kyle……when’s your next chapter gonna be done?Me- When it’s done.NW- That’s not a real answer. (Takes a swig of beer)Me- Dude, you just woke up from a fricking coma thirty minutes ago. Shouldn’t you lay off the alcohol for a while?NW- Well I would….but SOMEONE ate my burger and I had to make myself some nachos. And SOMEONE didn’t buy any Tostitos, so I had to use Cheese Its instead. Do you know what a Cheese It nacho tastes like?Me- I can’t say that I do.NW- I tastes bad. It’s cheese on cheese. It’s just wrong…like homosexuality. Me- You don’t believe that. I caught you pawing while on ArtDecadeMonthly a week ago when I came to your place to ask if you wanted to chip in on the penthouse.NW- ……..yeah that’s a point. Me- (Rolls eyes)(Enter Product) 59- Hey guys. What’re you watching?NW- What does it look like? We’re watching strange geometric shapes make pop culture references and then do a cutaway gag.Me- Ummmm, what? Whoa….dude you’re pupils are dilated like no one’s business. Are you high or something?NW- Nuh…ooo. I d-don’t *hick do that shit. I’m a booze man to the end! 59- Ummm, no he’s high.Me- What?59- Yeaaaaahh, I was kinda bored while Sylvr was at the Dodge dealership, so I went for a walk and some drug dealer got shot right in front of me. And I may or may not have scored some acid from his corpse. Me- (slaps paw to forehead) Oh my god….59- Yeah and John may or may not have told me my mom likes it up the back door. And I may or may not have put like…a shit load of acid in his beer.Me- Dude! Do you know what happens when you mix alcohol and LSD?59- (points to NW) That?Me- Yes! THAT! Why’d you put acid in his beer?59- I got the idea from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia when Frank spike Charlie’s beer with acid.Me- That was TV. When you mix acid and beer in real life you can cause someone’s heart to stop. 59- ……say what now?Me- I’m saying we need to take him to the emergency room so they can hook him up to dialysis and get that shit out of his blood.59- I don’t have a car. Me- Neither do I. And neither does John.59- Sooooo…..what do we do?Me- (Sighs) Go get my Glock. Its in the upper right hand drawer of my desk.59- (goes off and finds Glock 17. Comes back) Ummm, you do know this is loaded right?Me- Yeah, give it here. Now pick up John and carry him downstairs. 59- I don’t like where this is going.***5 Minutes laterCop- (Over police car loudspeaker) THIS IS THE LCPD! PULL OVER NOW!(Kyle and Product shown driving in a stolen Admiral sedan with three Liberty City Police Cars chasing them)59- You just had to try jacking a car when there’s a cop sitting three car lengths back.Me- Well it was the car closest to the door of the building! And John’s got about twenty minutes to live unless we get him to the hospital.(Gun shots)59- OH SHIT! Drive faster dude, we’re up to a 2 star wanted level!Me- Don’t blame me for shooting the driver, that idiot didn’t get out of the car like I told him.59- Just shut up and drive.Me- Okay….I’m coming up to the hospital. Take the wheel.59- WHAT?Me- I need you to distract the cops.59- Why me! You’re the one who jacked the car and shot and injured an innocent bystander.  Me- Exactly. They won’t be mad at you if they catch you. (Opens rear passenger door and throw’s John’s unconscious body out) Ooooohhhh….I think I might have killed him.  (Jumps out after him) (hits ground at 30 MPH) OUCH (bounce) OOMPH) (bounce) Fuck! Arrrggh, that hurt. But I’m okay…cause the hospital is right there.(Goes and drags NightWolvz into the hospital)Receptionist- Ummm, can I help you?Me- Yeah, my roommate is doped on a lethal cocktail of acid and Sam Adams and I just fell out of a car and I think I have a concussion because suddenly I’m seeing three of you and…….(passes out) ***Cop- Alright punk, you’re going downtown!59- But I told you I didn’t do anything! Cop- Save it for the jury pal, now stop resisting arrest. (starts to handcuff Product)59- (mutters) Damn you Kyle.Cop- (On radio) Okay, this is 2-4, I got the suspect in custody and….(Explosion)Cop- Holy Hell! My car!(59 takes off running) Cop- Hey! Get back here asshole! Sylvr- (Pulls up in new Dodge truck and opens door) Get in dude! 59- Thanks man, they almost had me back there aaaaaaannnnnddd….where the Hell did you get all these guns?Sylvr- Dude! You would not believe how many illegal gun shops they have in this city! They don’t even check your background. I bought me and AK-47 and a dozen grenades from this red neck guy over in Broker. 59- That’s cool dude…NOW JUST GET US OUT OF HERE!Sylvr- Oh shit! (Crashes into a parked car, reverses but gets rear ended by a cop. Cop goes flying through the windshield of his own car. Sylvr pulls out into main road and takes off)Sylvr- Where do we go now?59- Anywhere but here!(Ending scene with Sylvr peeling off as a pair of cop cars chase after him) (Cue the ending credits and credit song from It’s Always Sunny in Phildelphia)********Okay, I’m gonna make a part 2. And I may make a part 3 if people like the series a lot. Thanks for reading.^_^Â