Chapter four - "I'm sorry"

Judy let a groan escape and rubbed her wrist. Contrary to the common belief, she wasn't such a workaholic as to enjoy paperwork, even less after two days of doing only that. It had to be done, sure, but that didn't mean that if she had to choose between that and patrol all day she would choose the former.

She was a bunny, and a very hyped one, as Nick always liked to remind her. Office work actually frustrated her. She needed to be outside and be active. Even parking duty was more invigorating than writing reports... not that she would EVER tell that to anyone.

Nick, at the desk by her right, appeared to have the same feelings: she could hear him mumbling incoherently and sometimes yawning because of the boredom, or boredoom as he would call it, of the task at hand.

Mark, at the desk in front of her, seemed the one handling better the return to work after their off days ended. He was focused in the document in his hand and transcribing the contents to his own report, all with a neutral face, much unlike the one he had that day at his house.

After she heard the conversation, she went back with Nathan and Nick, trying her best not to show how bad she was feeling. The macaque didn't seem to notice anything, though Nick directed a few looks in her direction a few times.

Mark and his sister returned to the living room a while later, the male calmed down and Shana with the same serious look, as if nothing had happened. But a close inspection would have revealed that Mark's eyes were red after so much crying. Neither Nathan nor Suzie seemed to pick up on that or the fact that he was silent all of a sudden, when he normally liked to interact.

After that promised lunch and the dinner that followed that night, because Suzie would not let them leave without compensating them for all their help, Mark had stayed with his family, arranging the furniture that came with the moving truck next day or contacting the phone company to get service among others. For the remainder of their vacation days, neither the fox or bunny saw him, though he kept in contact through text messages. So, they decided to simply relax together as they always did in any of their homes watching films.

Now, Mark looked better. However, Judy knew he feigned to be focused on the documents. Judy had been looking in his direction a few times the last hour alone and he hadn't filled more than a couple documents compared to her and Nick.

In the car, on their way to work after picking him up, he was also absentminded, distracted with something while looking through the window, leaving her and Nick to converse alone. It was disturbing compared to their normal morning chit chat. Several times Nick had asked Mark something, only to be replied with a short answer before going back to be silent.

Judy had not tried to find out what the problem was since she already knew. Which was the reason she herself was feeling as gray as the macaque. Not only she felt bad for the fate awaiting for Suzie, but also for the way she found out about it. She couldn't believe she stood there with her ear glued to the door like some gossipy old woman!

The bunny wanted to help Mark go through this bad moment, in any way she could, but she doubted he would let her the moment he discovered how Judy knew his secret. If Mark hadn't told Nick and her anything, he must have had his reasons.

And that left Judy wanting to rip her ears off in frustration. How could she help his partner, let him know they were there for him if he needed them to?

She let an exhausted sigh and let her head rest on her desk, the cold surface calming a bit the headache menacing to settle in.

• What's wrong, Carrots?- Said Nick's voice.

• Nothing, I'm ok.- Answered he before straightening up, still with her eyes closed.- Say, Mark, do you want to...- She cut herself when she realized the monkey was not at his desk. Judy looked around but didn't see him.

• He left a moment ago, said he needed to check things with Bogo so Shana and Nathan can work here.

Judy facepalmed. She had been so distracted that she didn't notice him leaving.

• I'm sorry, I've been a little distraught.

• Really? I didn't notice.

Judy let the hand slide enough to see his partner, and he had a warm smile directed at her. That alone made her smile a bit.- Lets finish this and then we can continue with the reports on Leyern's case.

• Sure, Fluff. We could do that. Ooooooooor you could tell your handsome and lovely partner what is troubling you.

• Didn't you say he left to Chief Bogo's office? I can't tell him until he is back.- Replied her with a smirk.

• Auch! That hurt, you know?- Judy rolled her eyes when Nick started his wounded act, but couldn't stop herself from giggling a bit.- I am here, doing my job as a partner and you bluntly discard my help.

She bumped lightly her fist on his shoulder and reclined on her chair, trying to put some order in her thoughts. She wasn't sure she should tell Nick. It wasn't a matter of trust, but this was an issue concerning Mark. She had no right to know it, even less telling it to others.

• It's complicated, Nick.- She finally said.- I can't just tell you, it's a private matter.

• Very well, then do not say anything.- Judy sighed, both relieved for not having to betray Mark's trust further and frustrated for still haven't solved the problem.- I will talk instead.

Judy did a double take and looked at her with curiosity. Before she could ask, he started:- You have discovered, thanks to your very sensitive ears no doubt, something very private from "a friend" of yours.- Said adding the gesture with his paws.- First oopsie: you don't like what you heard and feel very bad. You want to apologize to him, but you fear he will be very upset, that's double oopsie. All the while, he is very affected by the same thing you heard. That leads us to oopsie number threesie: you want to help him but that would mean reveal that you have eavesdropped a conversation you shouldn't.

The fox stopped to see the effect of his words and felt very good about himself. Judy was gazing at him with bewilderment, eyes fully open, just like her mouth.

• How did you...

• You bunnies, so emotional.- Interrupted him messing Judy's head fur with a paw.- You have been down since when we went to Mark's place. You went to tell him about the moving truck and returned with your ears droopy. Since then, you have been quiet and absent. And let me tell you that the definitive giveaway were the sad and worried glances at Mark, both at dinner that day and also today.

Judy rubbed her face with her paws, suddenly feeling tired, but also comforted.- Ok, I get it, I am very easy to read.

• I wouldn't say that. Books must be open and read, you would be the movie editioAUCH!

This time, she hit him hard on the arm. Rubbing the area affected, Nick was about to jokingly protest when she gave him a hug, getting him by surprise. He heard her whisper something, but it was so low that he didn't get it.

As fast as she hugged the fox, she released him and, with a better face, sat on her chair facing him.- What Should I do?

• What would YOU do if you simply had... I don't know, broken a window or accidentally dropped his phone into the sewer?

• Apologize to him, of course, but...

• Then, do so, Judy.- Interrupted Nick, not letting her go back to the same infinite loop.- You have done something you feel you must apologize for, then do it. Maybe he will get angry, maybe he will not want to talk to you for a few days, but he will end up forgiving you. He is not the kind of guy that holds grudges for something like that. Then again, maybe he doesn't care that you have heard whatever that is. It is possible he didn't tell us because he doesn't know how to or doesn't want us to worry about his problems. It would actually make things easy for him if you already knew. The point is, you don't know what will happen, only what you have to do.

And just like that, the stress Judy had been feeling for several days lifted. Of course it was so simple. She had been so focused on not making the wrong step that she had forgotten to make any step at all.

• Okay, you can say it. I deserve it.- Said looking at his friend with appreciation.

• Say what, dumb bunny?- replied him winking at her.

Judy giggled softly and climbed down the chair, going for the door.- I guess I'll go looking for him and apologize. It will be better if no one else is around until he wants to tell.

• Sound fine by me. Good luck.- He wished her. But as she was with a paw on the doorknob, he added:- Don't forget to tell him we will be there to support him with his mother.

Because of the speed she turned her head in his direction, several neck vertebrae cracked making Nick and some nearby officers cringe and rub their own necks in discomfort.

• How did you know that? Did he tell you?- Questioned the bunny, both shocked and furious, the later because she could have talked him about all that easier.

• No, you did.- Said the fox.- You said it yourself, you are easy to read, and the signals were quite clear. You obviously heard something bad, and Mark came back a little eye-puffed. Also, you kept directing glances over Suzie, and even looked scared when she coughed at some point. That and the whole coming to Zootopia so suddenly thing of Mark's family led me to consider an emergency situation. They never gave us a reason for it, remember?

Judy was speechless. Not only Nick had deduced almost everything, but also with such ease that she actually felt jealous.

• Wow, that was amazing. You should apply for detective, Slick.- She said before opening the door and leaving the room.

Nick's smile waited for the door to close behind her to lower into an expression he didn't want his partner to see.

She already had enough to deal with.

...

Mark came out of the Chief's office sooner than he had expected. He thought it would need a lot of effort to convince the large buffalo into hiring Shana and Nathan, or simply to consider it. The surprise was evident when his boss explained that the same Chief Atlas that interceded in his favor for the transfer, an old bear friend of his father, and as it turns out also Chief Bogo's, had also arranged things for his siblings to be also hired there.

The only problem was that Bogo did not expect them for a couple more months, so they would have to wait until he could rush the papers enough. In any case, everything was settled and the Chief would contact them as soon as he could.

Outside of the office, he heard soft steps coming in his direction and saw Judy walking towards him, looking somewhat worried.

• Hey. Need something?- He asked trying to put a smile on his face. He felt relieved that his siblings' situation would not be a problem, but he still had too much in his head to be happy about it.

• Well, I would like to talk to you a moment, if that's ok.

• Sure.

Both mammals left the building, letting the fresh breeze and the descending sun's light calm them a little after many hours inside. When Judy made sure there wasn't anyone within earshot, she inhaled and readied herself.

• Mark, I owe you an apology.- The macaque looked at her confused. As far as he knew, she hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, this last few days, the bunny had not tried to ask why he was feeling so low, giving him time alone.- The day we were at your home I overheard your conversation with Shana. Your mother wanted me to tell you something and when I got to the door... I'm sorry, I should have called or left, not stay there listening.

His reaction was not at all what she expected. Instead of becoming angry or disappointed he leaned against the wall of the building and let himself slide to the ground, looking... relieved?

• Mark, are you ok?- Asked the bunny, kneeling by his side, worried.- I know I shouldn't have listened, it was a private conversation and I...

• It's not that, Judy.- Interrupted Mark, relieve being replaced by sadness.- I don't care you heard that, I am actually glad that you did, that I can talk to you about it without feigning being fine, because I am not.- Tears started falling from his eyes now that he wasn't forcing himself to retain them, his voice breaking down.- My mother is going to die, way sooner than I prepared myself for, and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing!

Judy placed a paw on his shoulder and the other on his arm, trying to comfort her friend.- I'm sorry. That must be horrible.

• We wanted her to live her last years in a place better than Animolia, somewhere she could take walks through the park, watch children play on the streets, breath clean air.- Continued him, feeling better as he pushed all the pain out.- We had accepted the inevitable end, and now she barely has any time left to enjoy here! I don't have enough time to be with my own mother, the one who has been with me every day of my life! I can't... I can't...

Judy was sharing tears for his friend, aware that aside staying there by him there wasn't much else she could do to help. Luckily for her, she hadn't lost any close family member, except for her grandmother many years ago, so she would even dare think she could know how Mark was feeling at the moment.

• Mark, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard that is.

The monkey kept letting all the tears flow freely, accepting the paw she offered within his as a reminder that he was not alone.

A few minutes later, the crying stopped and he looked at Judy with deep and unspoken appreciation. She smiled and, searching in one of the pockets of her uniform, offered a tissue, which he accepted.

• Sorry you had to see that.- Apologized with a half smile while cleaning his face.

• Don't mention it. We are partners after all.- Replied her with a full smile of her own.- You know Nick and I are here for you if you need us.

• Yeah, I know. Thanks.

Both mammals stood up and, after inhaling deep a few times to calm himself, they entered the building again. There was still work to do and their shift was about to end.

However, Mark felt much better. He was still feeling gloomy, but now he didn't have so much weight compressing his insides thanks to Judy.

• By the way, does Nick know?- Asked Mark.

• Yes, he does.- Answered her, amazement visible on her face.- But I didn't tell him. He deduced it all by himself.

The macaque huffed, as if that did not surprise him at all.- Told you, he is detective material.

• Maybe, but I find myself hoping he does not think too much about it. I don't know what I would do if he became a detective and left me here. We make a good team together; I don't know if I would be so trusting with anyone else as I am with him.

• Why don't you become a detective too? You also have the skills to be one. Or a SWAT, now that I think about it.

Judy looked at him in disbelief.- Me? Must I remind you that I am a bunny? I can't break down a door by myself. I can take a rhino down, but I need time, and SWAT teams must be fast.

• You forget that SWAT teams are, first of all, a TEAM. You would not be alone taking down anyone, and your size would be an advantage in some situations. Besides, you are only about one quarter shorter than me, would you say that I am not suited for SWAT?

• Point taken.- Admitted her with a soft giggle.

• Also, you watch too many crime films. We do not break down doors for a living. We are a coordinated assault team. While one of the big guys breaks down the door to allow entrance, you would sneak in through any small space to cut off any escape route.

• I suppose. Though I don't see myself as a member of SWAT. My dream has always been to be a police officer.

• You can be both. Rhinowitz, the rhino who seats at the back row in roll call, is a SWAT. There isn't always a situation that needs our intervention, so the majority of the teams are made from normal officers that have a more extensive and specific training for those situations. When we are needed, we are called, we gear up and go. If you have indeed taken down a rhino by yourself, I think you will pass the trials easier than I did.

Judy found herself actually considering it. It wouldn't be only another way to make the world a better place, but also to prove that bunnies could be anything, just as anyone else.

And imagining herself all geared up and armed to the teeth was very cool.

-Thank you.

Mark snapped her out of her daydream and felt confused.

• For earlier. Thank you for being there, Silk.

She punched him in the arm, both to dismiss the thanks as unwarranted and to avoid showing how that nickname flushed her.