FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

One Friday evening, when Ceylan was spending the evening with her parents, and Meagan went to see her grandmother for a week in San Mantégua, which is a 2 day drive by the way, Terry and me were the only ones left. Well, besides Blain, but... I didn't really know him that well and he said he had things to do. Anyway, Terry and I went to the movies to some new horror zombie movie. Kind of disappointed, because the trailers and commercials looked really good. It was supposed to be "scary", but the movie took itself so serious that it started to get hilarious...

Terry and I went for a drink in town afterwards. And while we were driving, we were talking and laughing about the movie we just saw. But the moment we stopped for a red traffic light, an Aston Martin DBS pulls up to my left, and Terry and I were speechless once we heard it's engine idle... We gawped at the Aston Martin for a moment until the driver noticed us watching his ride. So he looked at us with a confident grin, and revved the engine. Such an amazing sound to hear that V12 engine go from that low idle noise to a high pitched roar... At that moment, I looked at Terry and grinned, pulled up a confident face, looked at the driver of the Aston Martin and revved my cookie jar on wheels as well. The engine of my car sounded like a lawnmower when I revved it. It was nothing like the Aston Martin. My Cinquecento only got a 4 cylinder engine with 39 break horse power while the DBS has a hand build 6 litre V12 engine with 510 break horse power. The moment I revved my car, I heard how Terry was laughing his ass off, while I could see the Aston Martin driver started to laugh as well. And well, I couldn't help but to laugh out loud myself... It just looked so hilariously stupid. Imagine, a drag race between a Fiat Cinquecento and an Aston Martin DBS. That's like a Chihuahua fighting a lion... And the moment the traffic light turned green, the Aston Martin drove off, and it quickly disappeared in the night, until it was nothing more but a dot while we heard the roaring of the V12 engine in the distance... I just accelerated slowly. It was amazing to hear that engine. The Aston Martin's engine that is, not my lawnmower engine. When I looked back at Terry, I could see he was still wiping the tears away from his eyes, while he continued laughing. So I just smiled and continued my way...

Even when we arrived at the pub, Terry kept on laughing. He wasn't laughing that loud anymore, but whenever I looked at him, he started laughing again... So once we took our seats and ordered some drinks, he still had trouble to keep his laughter. 'Oh come on, it wasn't so funny, Terry...'

'Dude! It was! Didn't you ever see that video on YouTube? It reminded me of that!'

'What video?'

'A Smart versus a Ferrari F430? The two of them went drag racing, guess who won?'

'The Ferrari?'

'Whaha, no dude!'

'You're telling me the Smart won?'

'Yeah! Whahaha!!'

'Hehehehe...'

'Fucking hell, that was funny shit, Nic...'

'Hehehehe... So how'd the Smart do it?

'You mean, how the Smart beat the Ferrari?'

'Yeah?'

'Well, it's basically the story of the tortoise and the rabbit. The Smart could never beat the Ferrari so they basically strapped the engine of a Suzuki GSX1300 Hayabusa under the hood.'

'No wonder the Smart won...'

'Yeah, hehehe... The Smart got stripped to the chassis. I once saw this testing video, and the thing went full throttle, testing how fast it would accelerate. Nought to sixty in under three seconds.'

'Whoa.'

'The funny thing is, when they tested the brakes, that thing came to a complete stop after it did a somersault. Funny shit.'

'Hehehe...'

'Yeah...'

Moments later, this girl came to us and brought us our drinks. Aaaaaaaaand... Then I noticed its Rachel from college. It's a small world, indeed... I don't know her personally, but I always saw her walking and the way she looked at me with a glare whenever I was with Terry... Sometimes she made stupid comments that made no sense, like asking Terry what he sees in me and that I'm no good while I was standing right next to him. Terry always made her look like an ass whenever she did something so pathetic and lame... So tonight was no exception... She just looked at me with an expression as if her butthole was about to ignite and had this disgustingly cute happy smile on her face the moment she faced Terry. Terry just frowned at her while Rachel thought she still had a chance with him... And well, it was annoying me to say the least. 'I didn't know you'd be here, Terry!' she said to him... 'Well, if we knew you worked here, we wouldn't be here in the first place...' Rachel just giggled... Seriously, she doesn't take the hint... I was so sick of her always trying to hit on Terry... And then I just blurted it out... 'So Rachel, I heard you're into saving the planet and all that.' She looked baffled at me at first and she looked really annoyed when I started to talk to her. Rachel's disgustingly cute smile was wiped off of her face... 'Why yes! Who told you that?!' she said with a rather fake smile... 'Well, you did actually. You always brag about how you recycle plastic bottles and save on you're electric bill.'

'Oh.'

'And I think you're doing a pretty good job, but there are so many other things you can do to save our planet.'

'Like what?' she asked sarcastically, as if I didn't know what the hell I was talking about.

'Well, getting yourself sterilized and never have babies would be a good thing to start with...'

Terry was just having a sip from his drink when I said it to her. He spits out his drink and started to laugh his ass off again... I didn't think it was that funny, but rather harsh... But then again, you should've heard what she said about me... Hehehe... So I think she deserved that one. I can be a smart ass from time to time... And so, she walked off back to the bar while Terry kept laughing...

So when he finally managed to calm down his tickle-box, it stayed silent while I kept looking outside the window and noticed it started to rain. 'So what'd you think of the movie, Nic?'

'Huh? Oh, Pshhh... Waste of money.'

'Yeah but we had a couple of good laughs though.'

'People kept telling us to shut up... We almost got thrown out...'

'Other people were laughing too!'

'Yeah, well, we started it.'

'Hehehehe...'

'Still, history shows out, Terry, that it's always a bad thing to go to a zombie infested island.'

'True. It doesn't really make any sense.'

'Yeah... Seriously...'

'The story itself was pretty decent though...'

'Pretty decent?!'

'What?'

'Oh come on! You can't be serious! Even Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen had a better story even though it totally ruined the plot from the first movie!'

'Transformers isn't about the story, it's about the action.'

'Yea, true.'

'But what's so bad about the movie we just saw? Besides the bad acting...'

'An ex-marine with a funny accent, runs a boat hire. Some hot journalist chick hires a boat to uncover conspiracies on that island, so that marine dude goes along with her. His boat gets blown up while the chick mysteriously disappears, and for SOME reason that were never explained, there were zombies on that island. And after he woke up on the beach, the ex-marine happens to find a weapon conveniently not too far away. And even though the guards and the ex-marine are on the same side, they still try to kill each other for some reason. Then he searches for that journalist chick. That is, of course, after he bored those guards to death with cheesy dialogue lines while doing those dramatic anime poses.'

'Hehehehehe...'

'Not to mention that guy's accent. Seriously, what's up with that? As if he couldn't make sense out of his own words. Imagine... "Aye am goink to extermi...- exterminani...- exturmanini...- "Aye ahm goink to eli...- elimi..- elimimi..." "Aye am goink to keel you".

'Whaha!'

'Not to mention the most anti-climatic ending ever...

'"Join my experiment, John Kaiser. And I shall make you the greatest weapon the world has ever seen! Or else you will DIE! Because you know too much!! And we don't want that to happen, now do we?!"

"No! This is wrong! And you know it is!"

"You wont join me? Then it's TIME for you to DIE!!"

"Not on my WATCH you son of a GENITAL WART!! Ahahahahahaha!!

'Seriously!! What the hell were they thinking when they were writing the script?! Was the scenario writer tripping on Meth or something?!'

'Yeah, I guess so, Nikki. Hehehe...'

'And like... The chick died in the end so... He did it all for nothing.'

'If there's ever gonna be a sequel, we're gonna watch it.'

'Yeah, definitely. Hehehehehe...'

'Come to think of it, it was a good movie...'

'Yeah, it's because they actually think it was any good. That's what made it funny.'

'Hehehehe, yeah...'

My God... I can't remember the last time I laughed like that... Terry and I have a really weird sense of humour most people don't even get. Sarcastic and dry humour... But that's what I like about him... And after it stayed silent for a while... I noticed he reached out for my hand... And gently rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand... 'Nikki...?'

'Yes, stud muffin?'

'Stud muffin? The hell? Haha!'

'You always call me babe or luff, so I need a nick name for you too. Stud muffin was the first that came up.' I said with an innocent smile. 'Or how about fluffy bums... Or muffin cakes... Ooor...'

'Alright, stop, you're ruining the moment for me here...'

'Go on...'

'Nikki...' he said with a weak nervous smile... Hihi... Aww... Look at his face... Then I imagined him having that fluffy face with that big smile I saw on those pictures of him back home... So cute... I couldn't resist smiling at him after I imagined it... But now, the image is stuck in my head... 'Nikki, I don't really know how to say this so...'

'What is it...?'

'You really mean a lot to me, you know...? I know I said this many times but... I just wanted to let you know...'

'Well... I can honestly say that I'm flattered but... What's with the seriousness so all of a sudden...?' He just shrugged and smiled nervously again... Hehe... And then he looked me in the eyes... And I felt a tingle in my stomach while I started to smile nervously too... 'I don't need to have a reason to say that I love you...'

'Aww... I love you too, muffin cakes... Hihi...'

'Nikki?'

'Yeah?'

'Please, don't ever call me that again.'

'Hehehehe... Why do you like me so much...?'

'It's because you're just so... Beautiful and... Sexy and... Sweet and... Caring and-

'Are you trying to hit on me, Terry?'

'I've been trying to hit on you for the last couple of years...'

'And look where it got you...'

'Yeah... Look where it got me...'

'Good things come to those who wait...'

'I know, Nic...'

Terry smiled nervously as he looked down. He always did whenever he felt embarrassed. I didn't know what it was that made him feel so embarrassed. But it was really sweet to say the least... Terry kept rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand for a while as we were just staring at each other. I didn't know what caused it. Maybe it were the things his eyes told me. Maybe it was that nervous smile. Or maybe it was his ear twitching... Whatever it was, it felt great. The longer I was staring in his eyes, the more I drifted away. And then it happened... We both moved our heads closer towards each other. And pressed our lips together... I felt how I kissed him the moment I closed my eyes. I felt it in every way imaginable... Tingles were going through my body the moment I closed my eyes and felt how I drifted off. The feeling could've last forever. But sadly, it didn't. And when I looked at Terry, I could see he was a bit embarrassed. So I placed my hand on his to let him know its ok. Then he looks at me for a moment again. And it started all over again... It felt different whenever I was kissing Ceylan... But I liked this too... And after a while. I looked at him with a weak smile... 'You wanna go to my place...?' He didn't give me an answer... But he had a big smile on his face...

When does someone find out whether he or she is lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, straight or whatever it is you may fall in love with? When do you get that label of society, saying, "you're lesbian", or "you're bi-sexual"? Would you be labelled if you had feelings for someone of the opposite sex? Or only if you're just kissing someone of the same sex? Would you mind if you get labelled and put in a box for all that matters? Does that mean I'm bi-sexual, now that I kissed and had sex with Terry? Does it really matter? No... No, I don't suppose it does. No one labels me. And I'm certainly not labelling myself. So if someone asked me "Nikki, are you lesbian?", I would tell that person that I'm just being me. And I'm in love with my friends. And they love me for whom and what I am. So... Who am I...? I'm Nicole ... I'm just being me, I guess... And no one can ever change that...

The moment we barged through the door of my apartment, Terry and I were making out. Once I closed the door, I held my arms around his neck. And then he grabbed me by my waist and lifted me up. I gently kissed his lips as we were nearing the couch. Once he placed me on the couch, he got on top of me, between my legs. And after we made out for a while, I gently pushed him back as I smiled at him. I got up, went to my room to get some clean underwear and towels. Then I walked up to Terry, kissed him again, and then made my way to the bathroom, while taking my top off as I was walking, hoping he would get the hint... Terry stood dead in his tracks while he was watching me...

I turned the water on and got undressed, standing butt naked in my bathroom as the door was wide open. No sign of Terry yet... So I got in the shower myself. For a while, I was just washing myself while I was thinking... Then at some point, I noticed in the mirror that he was watching me, looking a bit insecure and all... 'What are you looking at...?' I said quietly to him with a smile...

'I always liked you're bathroom, you know. I mean... That dark shade of blue on the wall tiles goes perfectly with the floor tiles.'

'Hmm-mm... I know... But... Do you mind, I'm trying to take a shower here.' I said to him with a smile... So I closed the shower curtains... I could see his baffled look just before the curtains were closed... And I continued to wash myself again... After a few moments, I noticed the curtains opened up, and I was staring at Terry, who was completely naked... 'Can I join you...?' he asked quietly... 'What took you so long...?'

After hesitating for a moment, he got in the bathtub as well. I stared in those light blue eyes of him and placed my hands in his as I kissed him. I guided his hands down to my hands and with every kissing moment we had seems so intense that at one point, the water drops seem to freeze in mid-air... And that there was nothing else on the entire planet except for Terry and me...

He made me turn around and he placed his hands on my shoulders. And gently started to massage me. Going over my back... Just above my tail... And just below it... He didn't touch me in funny places though... Instead, he got the bottle of shower gel, squirted a lot in his hands, and just rubbed my back while I was quietly enjoying it... And at some point. I turned around and kissed him, while he placed his hands on my stomach. He rested his head on my shoulder as I felt his chest... 'Terry...?'

'Yeah, babe...?'

'Did I ever hurt you're feelings...?'

'No, dude... You never did...'

'Not even when I was the cause of you and Ceylan breaking up...?'

'Well... A little I guess...'

'Oh...'

'Why do you ask...?'

'I never intended to hurt you, Terry... I can't tell you how sorry I am for hurting you're feelings... Ceylan wants you back and... Well... You want her back...'

'Yeah...'

'Then why aren't you going back to her...? Are you afraid that it won't work out...?'

'Ceylan and I changed a lot after we broke up, Nikki... And even if we get together again, things still wouldn't be the same like it used to be... Still... I'm happy that we stayed good friends. Because I'd rather have her as a good friend then not to have her at all...'

'You're right. Things wouldn't be the same... But have you ever considered that things might be better then it used to be if you did...?'

'Yeah... But still... What if Ceylan and I did...? What would that make us...?'

'We just are what we are, Terry... Just two people in love... Nothing more, nothing less...'

'You mean, you...?'

'You look surprised...' I said with a weak smile...

'Yeah, to say the least... I don't understand... Am I missing something here...?'

'I'm not sure if I understand as well... But maybe I just don't want to... Ceylan once told me that... We don't choose who we fall in love with... It's unpredictable, you can't foresee it...'

'Yeah...'

'And maybe I'm just like Ceylan... Maybe I was missing something as well, like she did... But it's not until this very moment that I realized what it was that I've been missing for all these years...'

'You mean, you fall in love with guys as well...?'

'No, Terry. Not guys... Just you...'

'Heh...'

'I realized that Ceylan and I were both looking for the same. It doesn't matter to me that you're a guy. All these years, it's been right in front of me. You said I opened you're eyes once. But you're the one who opened my eyes now. With everything we do, it feels right. I realized that love is small and fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. But in a world where there is so much hate, you'll have to grab every opportunity. Love is something small, and can't be found with everyone, but it is so much stronger then hate. I don't know how I'll be able to explain it in a way that you understand what I mean. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though you're my best friend, and even though I'll always be here for you, to either laugh with you, to cry with you, or to hold you, I love you... With all my heart, I love you...'

'Heh...'

Well actually, I remembered a certain part from the letter that Meagan's father wrote... But I was being sincere, and it basically summed up what I feel for Terry... But Terry didn't know that I got it from a letter...

It stayed silent for a long time as Terry and I were just cuddling on the bottom of the bathtub while hearing the water running down. It reminded me of the times that Ceylan and I were like that. But there's no need to close the shower curtains anymore... I think it was that night that everything got settled... To finally realize what I wanted and what I needed... And to actually have it in my arms... And all I needed was Terry and Ceylan... Just as much as they needed me...

Once we dried ourselves off, Terry carried me to my room. He placed me down on my stomach as he got on top of me. His big firm hands were massaging my shoulders and back. He slowly made his way down to my butt, and started to massage the back of my thighs. Going down once more to my lower legs, and at some point, paid attention to my feet... Massaging every little inch of my feet... And I loved getting pampered like that. While he was massaging my foot, I gently rubbed the sole of my foot against his stomach. It didn't take long for him to kiss my foot. He took care of every inch of my body throughout the night... Just massaging every inch of my body... So you're probably wondering if we ever got around having sex that night... Well, I'm sorry to disappoint but... We didn't. We fell asleep in each others arms that night...