Gary the dragon
In the darkness of my den, I woke because I thought I heard a moan. It took me a few seconds to realize it had been me. What I'd give for the ability to sleep through the night, these days...well, as members of my family would be happy to remind me, I'd brought a lot of this on myself.
My foreclaw had been twiddling about my sheath, where I kept my masculine bits. However, they were very unresponsive at the moment. Being full of eggy hormones tends to do that to a guy. It couldn't be an accident that all of those important parts were arranged the way they were, so close together. Impregnating yourself has got to be something every drake does accidentally--if they don't have a bizarrely uptight family like mine. It's so easy to do, and it feels very good when you do it.
Of course, I didn't do it by accident this time. The first time, yeah, that wasn't on purpose. The second time, I probably should have known better. This was the fifth. It's a very satisfying feeling at first.
Typical of good things, though, there's a big downside. Being gravid sucks in some ways: there's the male impotence, for one thing. Getting a huge belly is another side effect that you just learn to live with. Then there are cramps, aches and pains like the ones that probably woke me up...
And, of course, there's the grand finale: labor.
I quit trying to encourage my useless shaft and moved my claws up to my belly, at first resting them there, and then rubbing around in circles as I followed the very slight grooves that surrounded the lumps living there. The clutches just get bigger and bigger, the older drakes say. I was well on my way to eventually setting a record, probably.
When you expect something for a while but don't look forward to it, it looms over you and starts to color your every waking thought. I had those sorts of feelings for the first four clutches I've parented. You know it's going to happen, but it's not a blessed, mystical event like most drakes in my family like to pretend. It's a lot of work, it hurts in parts, and there are of course parts that feel good--I wouldn't have done this over again if there weren't--but it's a huge chore. Work doesn't mix too well with me.
But maybe having gone through the experience a few times before led me to what I did next. I tried a little experiment; I'd started collecting together some stuff for a little nest; I went there, straddled the edge, and squeezed a little, pushing. Instead of waiting until the eggs insisted they were ready to come, maybe I could encourage them a little.
It surprised me that it worked so well. I almost doubled over, and I winced as I felt the little guys rolling around, like a bunch of crazed herd animals bearing down on a single small exit. Unfortunately for them and me, it was such a small exit that only one of them could barely fit through at a time.
I fell to my side with a loud thump, and waited; my gut clenched a few times, and then went still, so I squeezed again. There it went--once again, the eggs started moving around. I groaned, rolled onto my stomach and lay there for a while, feeling them lining up inside while I gave them an occasional squeeze. It was definitely going to happen. 'Good,' I remember thinking to myself.
First came a good deal of clear, thick and slick fluid; a sort of lubricant that actually didn't seem to help a whole lot. That's just my opinion. It runs everywhere, but at least it's easy to clean up, and it's clear when it dries. It tends to spray out just before an egg comes.
In the past, I'd just dropped the eggs wherever I happened to be, as I'd wait until the last minute. This was the first time I'd laid eggs in my room, where I have a reflective stone in a corner for grooming purposes. Looking over at myself while I crouched there in my nest, it was the first time I was aware of what a weird face I make when I'm bearing down. I go into a very mean-looking draconic grimace; a few of my teeth show, my nostrils flare slightly, and my eyes narrow to slits. I snort, and sometimes stick out my tongue. It almost made me laugh, but it was starting to hurt down there.
Behind me, under my tail, my feminine parts were dilating, slowly relaxing, then tensing up; the vent (egg chute, we sometimes called it when we were younger) opening, halfway closing, then stretching open again. More of the clear egglaying gunk spilled out. It wasn't comfortable to have all this going on at once, in your belly, your crotch, not to mention your jaw; 'I should try to make less tense faces,' I thought to myself.
I smiled at the handsome brown and green drake in the reflecting stone. The first egg was there, just inside me; I could feel the edges of my vent settle around the small portion of shell that was probably sticking out, when I heard some claws scraping across the floor, and someone say 'Gary, how're--' I tensed up, and the egg disappeared back inside as my vent squeezed shut.
'I'm--grrnnggh--busy right now,' I panted and winced as I felt the egg start out again. 'Get outta--hrrrggghhhh...'
My uptight cousin, named Draconis (of all things!), blinked a few times, shook his head, and left. Dolt. I'm surprised he came around here, considering his dim views on me. But this was a time when I was definitely not in a position to put up with him, I had other things to focus on.
I took a deep breath and pushed hard, making a small high pitched squeak when the egg started to stretch me wider than is comfortable. You have to just hold it there and keep pushing, or you won't get anywhere. I took slow breaths, feeling shaky and quivering when an involuntary urge to bear down and push took over. But none of them amounted to much, not yet. It's a slow process.
The egg had probably gotten to about an inch when suddenly Draconis came back. I grunted, lost it, and the egg slid most of the way back inside. 'What!?' I growled.
'Do you think about what you do,' the jerk asked. 'Do you? I can overlook a lot of the things you do, or downplay them when others catch wind of them. I had discovered you have self-sired clutches in the past, and here you are doing it again. It's sad, Gary. You act like an uncontrollable beast.'
All through this little speech, I was grunting and wheezing, thinking instead about the egg; it was hard work making up lost ground, and I couldn't answer him. I just looked up at him and remembered wishing that I had never tried coming on to him when we were younger. That's probably what started this whole 'We hate Gary' thing on his side of the family. Finally, I caught my breath enough to wheeze 'What...ISsss...it?'
'Weren't you listening, Gary? This is disgraceful. I was too shocked to say anything when I first came upon you, but then I realized this is the one time you can't get up and walk away. You're bringing shame on our clan, Gary. Shame!'
I endured all of this in silence, except for an occasional involuntary whimper caused by the egg's presence, stretching me further. 'I can't--nggghh--talk now, Dra--nnccchhhh...' I trailed off, grimacing and pushing hard. The egg slid a little further, and I spread my hind legs a little more. 'Thisss isss important,' I managed to say. Laying eggs is serious business! You can't just disturb a nesting drake.
Draconis leaned in and said 'Disgraceful.'
I reared up and snapped at him. It caused me to lose a bit of progress, but I was mad. 'Leave.' I grunted, then said as more of a dragonly roar that even he'd be proud of, 'Leave!'
He stalked off. That dolt. What did he know? He was absorbed by a whole world of honor and prestige, and couldn't appreciate simple joys. I shook my hips a little, and the egg came to its furthest position yet; I groaned and pushed, and it came.
Normally there's a rush of satisfaction that borders on joy when that happens, but that useless worm Draconis had ruined it. I stewed over things as I felt the second egg's shell open up my vent. I shifted a little to the side and started bearing down when the first egg brushed against my hind foot.
Wincing, I reached down between my legs and sighed with relief when I caught hold of the first egg, pulling it up and allowing me to straighten back out. Bending over is tough when your belly is packed by a bunch of elongated lumps.
The egg was a pale red with a swirly, almost spotted violet pattern over most of the shell. It looked more handsome and colorful than most of my other eggs had been. I set it down and gazed at it as my body started work on the second egg.
'No one will talk to you like that,' I said to the egg. Listening to myself, even then I was surprised by my tone. I'm usually very easy-going, taking whatever comes and trying to enjoy myself.
Closing my eyes and grunting, I pushed hard; the second egg slid a little further out of me, to the point where you just have to wait. Holding my breath, I peeked at the first egg.
It wasn't really my first, but I felt different about this one than any of the eggs or young drakes from my first four clutches. I hoped this new serious side wouldn't stick around, but you know, it's still here, ready to come out at a moment's notice. Draconis being around tends to help that.
I labored in my room, alone, and some of the amusement I felt when I first caught sight of my face in the stone returned when I looked over just as the second egg plunked down. I had a somewhat frantic grin, all of my bottom teeth showing and my eyes were crossed for a second.
Laughing to myself quietly, I gathered up the second egg and set it next to its sibling. 'Hello, boys,' I whispered. My belly tightened up, and the third egg started to slide out. 'I'm your parent.' The second egg's pattern had the same colors, but was a little less flamboyant. I could tell the difference between them easily, even without the scent.
Tension overtook me, and I closed my eyes as the third egg took my attention. I grunted, breathing softly over the first two as my belly clenched and my vent stretched around the third egg, and I endured the discomfort.
I sighed with the content and satisfaction I was expecting as the third egg thumped down behind me, and I nudged it up to the front and licked the shell. 'No one will talk to you guys like that,' I said. 'Not if I can help it.'