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Meagan came back after she was visiting her grandmother for two weeks in San Mantégua. I told her everything, which often caused me to cry my eyes out. Meagan just listened to me every time I told her about Ceylan and me... But then... One night... As we were talking again... She managed to do something no one else could. She got through me... I had no idea what caused it. It was as if she turned a switch in my head. Ceylan told me to see a social worker. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I was nervous, which was the reason why I haven't been making a call to schedule an appointment. And I actually said that to Meagan. But she convinced me to do it. But that didn't meant I wasn't nervous...

Meagan offered to go along with me. But I told her it was something I had to do myself. Like Ceylan said, I'm too dependant on others... So the next week, I sat at the table, focusing on a piece of paper that had the number of Intercedent Social workers. I kept telling myself that they would help me and that everything would get solved. But I just sat there, for at least half an hour, staring at the piece of paper while holding the phone in my hand. I dialled the number, but I didn't press the dial button just yet. After hesitating for a long time again, I finally pressed the dial button.

It wasn't what I expected. The phone got answered by a very sweet voice. It sounded like some old lady. And I stuttered that I would like to make an appointment. She asked my name, birth date, where I live and all that jazz and what the natures of my difficulties are in a nutshell. I didn't know what the nature of my problem is, so again, I stuttered that I didn't know the problem and that I'm not feeling comfortable with myself. Apparently, that seemed to be enough, and I'd get called back for an appointment with my social worker. She asked if I would prefer a male or female social worker, so I asked if I could have a female. That sounds kinda strange. "I would like to have a female". Nonetheless, she seemed very patient and friendly. And only a few hours later, I got a call back from her to confirm the appointment to get to know my social worker. Josephine Bannon was her name. And the moment I hung up the phone, I realized that there was no point of return...

So... The next week, I had my appointment. I got up early, took a shower and drank a lot of coffee in order for me to calm down. Bad idea. I had to be there at 11:00 am, so I left early to be there in time. I got out of my apartment and noticed my little yellow Cinquecento standing at the parking lot. It's a small car, and it's not much but I loved driving it. It's cheap, reliable and it's all I ever need to get around. So I got in, and drove off...

OK, so... Once I arrived, I parked my car on the parking lot and made my way to the entrance of the building. It's a really small building and once I got inside of it, it seemed empty. All I could see was a receptionist, which was an old meerkat lady, sitting behind a desk typing on her computer. I hesitated for a short moment, but I walked up to her anyway. The moment I stood at her desk, she looked up and took her glasses off. And then she just smiled at me. 'Hi, can I help you?'

'Good morning, I'm Nicole Boshane and... I-I got an appointment with Josephine Bannon at eleven...'

'Oh yes! Josephine should be ready any minute now. You can take a seat in the waiting room. It's just down the hall on the right, you can't miss it, dear.'

'Thank you...'

I looked at her while she had this sweet little smile on her face. So I tried to smile at her as well, but that wasn't so easy, seeing as I was starting to get really, really nervous...

So I walked through and noticed the waiting room on the right, just like she said it would be. The moment I peeked my head through the door, I noticed that there was someone else waiting as well. A black leopard. Big guy, muscled and all that. I could see he has a huge scar near his right eye and a big scar on his chest, just below his neck. I guess he likes to fight or something. But he seems really nervous. He had his hands behind the back of his head and supported his elbows on his knees. The moment I walked through the door, he looked up and stared at me for a short moment. 'Hi...'

'Hey...'

The way he said "hi" gave away that he was really, really nervous. It's not something you would expect from someone of his posture to be insecure, but... Heh, I guess it is possible. And well, that's it. He looked down again. I took my seat, and tried to relax as much as possible, but this guy... He made me even more nervous then I already was. All he did was like... Rubbing his hands together, twiddling his fingers, cracking his knuckles and keep sighing all the time as he nervously looked around. So I tried to distract myself by looking outside the window. Then I noticed someone standing at the door. The leopard and I both looked up and I saw this raccoon dude standing there. 'Good morning, how you're doing...?'

'I'm ok, thanks.'

'Alright, you ready?'

'Yeah...'

'Great, follow me, please!'

Before he got up, he looked at me for a short moment again. He hesitated for a moment, but he got up and followed that raccoon dude. And I heard them talking in the hallway until I heard a door close. And then it was all silent again. I saw this water-cooler and a couple of cups. The longer I stared at it, the thirstier I became. Probably because I was so nervous... So I got myself a cup of water and sat down again, staring at the clock. And then, a couple of minutes past eleven, I noticed someone standing in the doorway, looking around. A female leopard, probably in her early thirties... "Whoaho... She's beautiful..." The moment she noticed me, I got up... 'Oh hi! You must be Nicole! I'm Josephine!'

She reached her hand out to shake mine, and after a moment of hesitation, I shook her paw. A firm grip... Wow... I didn't know what to say for a moment... I just stared at her face while she was smiling at me... My god... What a beautiful smile she has... "Well hey there, what mighty fine tits you have..."

'H-Hi... N-Nice to meet you, Josephine...'

'Likewise! Please, follow me and we'll get started.' She has a bit of a funny accent too... Josephine sounded like Lara Croft or something... I have the same accent and I normally wouldn't notice it but... She sounded more... More posh... And I thought she sounded very sexy whenever she talked...

So I followed her. She seems very nice, and... I have to admit, she really looks gorgeous... I mean. She was wearing this skirt, and had this blouse that revealed a bit of her bosom and... High heels and stockings... Josephine really looked like a business woman. The way she walked through the hallway had a bit of a hypnotic effect on me... Staring at her hips while hearing her high heels ticking on the stone floor... "Don't look at her ass... Nic, I warn you, don't..." ButI did anyway... Whoa...... I think I felt my nose bleeding... Then all of a sudden, she turned her head and smiled at me again... "Why the hell is she smiling at me...?"

Moments later, we entered a small room which had 2 comfortable leather chairs, a glass table with a box of tissues, a box with little bags of sugar, coffee cream and plastic stirrers. A couple of cabinets were at the right side of the room and a few paintings on the wall. 'Please, take a seat. Do you want something to drink? Coffee, tea or something else?'

'Coffee, please...'

'Alright, I'll be right with you.'

She got out of the small room again while I took my seat and looked around. And a few moments later, she came back with coffee and a glass of water for herself and placed it on the table. She went over to a cabinet and got out a dossier. And after that, she took her seat across me. 'Are you nervous?' Josephine asked me with a smile...

'Yes... A little bit...

'Don't worry, everyone gets a bit nervous the first time.'

"Where have I heard that before...?" Wow... Déjà-vu... I looked at the table and grabbed two sugar sachets and a coffee cream sachet. I ripped them open and poured them in my coffee while Josephine was looking at me... "Why the hell is she looking at me like that...? Does she fancy me or something...?" I grabbed a plastic stirrer and stirred my coffee while I noticed she was still looking at me. The moment I looked up and faced her, she kept smiling at me... 'Ok so... Tell me who Nicole is. Are you studying, or working full-time, or...?'

'I-I'm still studying...'

'Oh! What are you studying...?'

'Digital Graphics Design at the Antonelli college.

'Aaaah, so you live nearby then.'

'Yes, actually, it's just a couple of blocks walking every morning...'

'I see. Which year...?'

'I'm graduating this year.' I said with a rather weak smile...

'Oh good! So you like designing stuff for commercial purposes? Like advertisements and logos?

'Almost... Basically... Whenever a company needs a new advertising campaign, I need to come up with something. And if they like my idea, I get hired to create and to refine my ideas. And then my project gets either accepted or declined or I need to work on it some more... Well... That's the general idea. But uh... I-It would take years to get there...

'Sounds like you're very creative.' She said with a smile again... So I nodded and smiled back at her... 'So you got any hobbies?' she asked me.' "I love to have passionate sex..." 'Heh... I love walking through the forests and on the beach. Especially in the summer. And... I got this thing for exotic sports cars. And well... I love to draw... It's my passion really.'

'Oh really? And what do you like to draw?'

'Pretty much anything. But I love to draw people.'

Then that smile appeared again on her face... Was she always so cheerful...? Her smile is contagious, really... I began to notice that I started to smile too... 'I see. And do you still live at home or...?'

'N-No. I live together with a friend of mine... Meagan is her name... And... Well... I don't like being alone. And she helps to pay the bills.' I said with a nervous smile.

'Hehe... So how do you pay your half of the bills than?'

'Well, by drawing actually... People ask me to do commissions and I draw them and I get paid for them. Also, I had a paid internship a year ago, working four days a week, and one day to college, so I tried to save as much money as I could which... Is a lot. My apartment itself is not much but I get around.'

'Good, good... Ok, so... During that phone-call to make an appointment, you were asked to give a brief description about the nature of you're difficulties.

'Yes...?'

'We always ask that to every new participant for our sessions, which helps us to give a general overview and I'm here to help you. You're insurance will pay for these sessions, so you don't have to worry about that.'

"Seriously... What's up with that smile...?" I nodded quickly and took a sip from my coffee. I was so nervous that I forgot she just put it down on the table and almost burned my tongue... Josephine noticed I pulled a funny face and that I tried to put the cup back down as quickly as I could without spilling the hot coffee... She just looked at me and kept smiling... 'Alright. It says here that you don't know what's bothering you and that you don't feel comfortable with yourself. Could you tell me more about that?'

'I eh... I-I'm just really insecure about myself...'

'You as a person?'

'Yes. And... everything I do...'

'I see. Could you explain that?'

'Wh-Whadda ya mean?'

'Could you give me an example of the things that make you insecure?'

'Well... Wh-When I see my friends... And... The way they get along with each other and socialize and everything... Life seems just one big party for them, you know...? They don't seem to have any problems and difficulties...'

'Well, everyone faces problems and difficulties in life.'

'Exactly... And I don't know how to deal with it. B-But... My friends make everything look so easy. And... I just want the same...'

'So what's the difference between you and you're friends?'

'I always question things... I mean... Whenever I'm at a party, I'm always sitting in a corner waiting for it to be over... I'm feeling insecure about the fact if people actually like me...'

'And why wouldn't they like you?'

'I-I don't know really... It's... It's just what I think...'

'So what you're saying is, is that you think people don't like you when you don't even know for sure?'

'Yeah, I guess...'

'And what do you feel whenever you're thinking like that?'

'I eh... Heh... I-I...

'Just take you're time.'

What do I feel whenever a thought like that goes through my mind...? Heh... 'I feel sad... And depressed... A-And I just want to go home...' She responded by nodding slowly while she had a serious expression on her face... Her smile is gone... I bet that if I could see her smiling again that it would cheer me up... But Josephine wasn't smiling... 'And what about you're friends?'

'Wh-What about them?

'They seem to like you, otherwise you wouldn't call them you're friends.' Look... There it is again... That beautiful smile... I couldn't resist to smile as well when I saw that... 'Well, I don't have many friends... But... Yeah... They're the best...'

'But you once had to get to know them. So what'd you do to be their friends?'

'Wh-What do you mean?'

'What is so different that caused them to be you're friends in comparison to how you would consider making friends now?'

'Heh... It's uh... It's a complicated story...

'Take you're time.'

I took a deep breathe and closed my eyes for a moment. The moment I opened them, I started talking. 'It's been a very long time ago. And... Well... I had a difficult youth. I got bullied when I was young... F-For being weird and... And... I-I-I didn't had any friends because... B-Because they all thought I was weird...'

'What would give them that idea?'

'I-I talked to myself when I was a kid... I drew my fantasies and wishes out on paper and... Apparently, they thought... It was weird...'

'Go on...'

'Heh... But uh... I-I just didn't know any better. And then one day, I met her. Meagan... She was new to our class. And all the other kids didn't like her as well. I didn't know why though. She was always so quiet and kept herself in the background. Just like me. It took a really long time, but then I finally had someone I could consider what the other kids would call a "friend". And she became my best friend. Even now, years later, she still means a lot to me. But as we got older... I uh... I-I started to notice certain things about her...'

'Like what?'

'Her smile... The way she treated me. She was just... So kind to me... She made me feel things I've never felt before. And only she could do that...'

'Hm-mm...'

'And... I uh... I-I fell in love with her years later... And I was scared. I realized I wanted more then just friendship, but... How was I supposed to tell her without her to freak out? Because I didn't want to loose her as a friend. And... Telling her that I wanted more then just friendship might've crippled our friendship. So I decided not to tell her... Which was really... difficult... She knows now, but... Maybe she forgot about it or something. She never answered my question and... She doesn't seem to do anything with it.' Josephine nodded and her smile disappeared once more... 'Then what happened?'

'We went to high-school together and we looked after each other like we always did. We started to grow closer while I knew I could never have her the way I wanted to. Nonetheless, I tried to bury my feelings for her, knowing it would never happen. And well... Her mother died when she was 12 years old. It was difficult for me as well, seeing as I knew her mother very well... And... It wasn't until about a year ago, that she revealed something else... She told me something that... Well... Really shocked me... And I guess it's still bothering me... B-Because I promised I wouldn't tell anyone...'

'You can tell me.'

I hesitated for a while. If this really would be relevant to the issues I was facing. Maybe it was relevant. Because it made a deep impact on me the night she told me... 'She was... S-She was sexually abused by her father after her mother died... A-And.... Th-The things she told me... She looked so helpless and desperate the night she told me. All she did was crying while I tried to comfort her... Hearing that she wanted to die... B-But... It made such an impact on me that I started to cry as well...'

It stayed silent for a moment... I didn't tell Josephine that I was touching her as well whenever we slept in the same bed while Meagan was asleep. Maybe her story wasn't the reason I was crying back then. Maybe it was because I took advantage of her weaknesses while her father did the same. Or... Maybe both... But like Ceylan said, she would only know what I wanted her to know... When I looked up, I noticed that Josephine was looking at me again... 'So than what happened?'

'I tried to help her... Like she always helped me... Even today, she's still seeing a therapist to talk about it. But I'm glad to see she's getting better. But her story made such an impact on me, that it's still bothering me...'

'I see. I can understand that it's a difficult thing to keep something like this to yourself. But it's a good thing you've helped her. You should be proud of that.'

'Heh... No, I shouldn't be proud of that... I owed her...'

She smiled again... I can't get enough of her smile... It's so addicting... So I started to smile as well while I wasn't aware of it 'So eh... Yeah...Heh... We got through our high-school period. It was a bit difficult for me, considering I still had feelings for her. But besides that, everything was just fine, nothing too special. But... Everything started to change when I went to college.'

'Good or bad changes?'

'Mostly good changes... Meagan and I went to the same college, but we only shared one class together. So in some way, I was alone again. But I noticed that I shared a few classes with some Husky guy. His name is Terry. Quite intimidating and full of himself when you see him for the first time, but... He's just a big softie with a small heart. I was oblivious at the time, but I realized not too long ago that he was actually trying to hit on me back then. Hehehe... He asked me out a lot, and then one day, I just gave in, because he wouldn't leave me alone. We had a lot of fun and it wasn't what I expected. Talking about all sorts of things, and over the months, I realized we had a lot in common. So we became good close friends real quick...'

'Sounds like a great guy.'

'He is...'

'So then what happened...?'

'Heh... Then I met his girlfriend...'

There was something about her smile the moment I mentioned it. I couldn't place it... I stared at her for a while to figure out what it was but... I didn't find out. So I continued talking. 'I always saw her walking around in the hallways and looked at her whenever I saw her... I thought she was really beautiful, and well... Who would've known it was Terry's girlfriend...? I sure didn't. Since I always hang out with Terry, his girlfriend was there too. Ceylan is her name. It didn't take long before she became my friend too. And at some point, I started to hang out more with her then with Meagan and Terry. Those were the best days I've ever had. But... Over the months, Meagan was starting to isolate herself from me. I didn't know what happened to her back then, but I tried to talk to her. But she wouldn't say it to me. She started to change to the point I couldn't recognize her anymore. And slowly, our friendship crumbled. So over the months, Ceylan replaced Meagan in some way. And well... Unlike Meagan, I wasn't in love with Ceylan... Even though she's really beautiful. But that slowly changed. I started to have feelings for her too. And then one day... She kissed me... I was so startled by that, that I didn't know what to do. I thought it was a wrong thing to do, seeing as she was Terry's girlfriend. She told me the truth, that she's bi-sexual. And well... That she likes me. It wasn't fair towards Terry, but at some point, I couldn't deny it myself anymore. Everything I always wanted was to have someone of my own to love. And now she was right there in front of me. Knowing it was a wrong thing to do, I did anyway. Ceylan and I had a relationship we kept a secret from everyone else. She became a part of me while I wasn't realizing what I was getting myself into. It went good for a couple of months, until... Heh... Until Ceylan broke up with Terry to be with me. And the night they broke up, I was visiting him, and he was so devastated... In the four years that I've known him, I've never saw him crying before. But it pierced my heart to see him so devastated about her. A-And I realized I was the cause of it... And... After talking with him for a long time... I... Heh...'

'What'd you do?'

It stayed silent for a long time... Should I really mention this...? "It's best that you say it. You don't have to go into details about how it happened..." 'I eh... I-I slept with him...'

"There... That wasn't so hard, was it...?"

'So why'd you slept with him the night his girlfriend broke up...?'

'It's because... I was in heat that night. And well... Terry helped me with so many things. And... It felt as if I owed it to him that night... That I had to in order to set things right... It felt the right thing to do at the time. But... I had regrets after that. Because... It just wasn't me who did it. And I'm really ashamed of that... F-For being so naive and... Weak of character... For being able to manipulate myself to have done these things...'|

'Hmm-mm...'

'So basically... I lied to Terry... To Ceylan... And even lied to myself... I don't think its right to lie against the people you care for... S-So... I-I decided to be honest... I set things right. I invited Ceylan and Terry over one day. And Terry was pissed at me for setting him up... But they talked and worked things out. Ceylan and Terry are still friends now and... We continued to be friends while Ceylan and I still had a relationship going on... And... everything got settled in the end...'

'Except for you...'

'Yeah... Except for me...'

I let out a deep sigh and stared into blank space. Realizing of what I just said to Josephine made me feel as if I was a big slut... Maybe Josephine was thinking the same thing about me as well... So I let out another deep and tried to rectify her opinion about me... 'You see... Th-The fact that... I slept with him is still bothering me. And... The more I thought about it... The more insecure I was feeling about myself... Ceylan and everyone else noticed it, and they tried to talk me but... I didn't say anything. I kept telling the others and myself that everything was fine, but Ceylan could see it... And I started to isolate myself from her to the point she didn't recognized me anymore. And our relationship went downhill slowly. It frustrated me that I could see our relationship crumbling in front of me while I couldn't do anything to save it. And... Well... Last week. She suggested to see a social worker to talk about the things that are bothering me. And that it would be best for us to go our separate ways for a while...'

'I see.'

'So... Here I am... Heh...'

It stayed silent for a moment while Josephine scribbled something down in her notepad. I took a sip from my coffee and it wasn't so hot like it was before... It was really good... The moment I placed my cup down, Josephine drank her water and smiled weakly at me. 'That's quite the story you got there.' She said, while I nodded slowly. 'Do you still see Ceylan, or talk to her on the phone, or any other form of communication...?'

'Yeah... She called me a couple of times... Asking how it was going. And... Every time, when we're about to end the conversation, she tells me that she loves me. But I can't say the same, you know...? It's just too difficult for me to say it, after everything that happened. But I haven't seen her in person ever since...'

'And what about Terry...? Have you talked to him...?'

'Well... Yes... A couple of months ago. That was the last time I've talked to him in person.

'Is there a reason why you're not seeing him...?

'It's just difficult for me to see him...'

'I see. But you still have contact with him?

'Yeah... Either on MSN or... Talking on the phone. Or in the hallways... The conversations don't last for long. We don't get to see each other very often at college now that the new year has started and we all follow different classes...'

'But you didn't talk to him in person recently...?

'No... And we talked about it a while back. About what happened... He sounded so insecure... I just... Never imagined that guys could be insecure about these things as well... And I would've never expected it to hear that from Terry...'

'I see.'

'Heh...'

'But like you said, things were and still are complicated and I understand why you're being so insecure. But you should also know that you've helped you're friends and they all benefitted from you're efforts. You should pat yourself on the back for that.'

Again that smile... It was as if she said that she was proud of me for what I did. I just shrugged and looked down nervously... 'Are there any other things that make you insecure about yourself?'

'Whenever I'm looking in the mirror.'

'To see yourself...?'

'Yes... And...'

'It's ok, tell me...'

'I-I hate to... T-To see myself naked...'

'Why is that...?'

'I-I hate myself... M-My body and... W-With what I did... With T-Terry...'

'Does it make you feel uncomfortable when you talk about it?'

'Y-Yes... T-To say the least...'

'I understand. But I'm not here to judge you of your actions. I'm here trying to understand you as a person, and to help you find a way to solve your difficulties. Is there a reason why you did it?'

'No... Not that I know off... I love him... A-As a friend... B-But... I-I get the feeling that... B-By being intimate with them... Is... Is the only way for me to show them of how much they mean to me...'

'Are you afraid to loose you're friends?'

'Yes...'

'Do you have this feeling with all of your friends?'

'Yes... And... I've been intimate with Ceylan... It's what I wanted... Feeling so sure of things and knowing what I want... But... After this whole deal...'

'You became insecure about you're relationship as well.'

I nodded quickly to let her know I was... And then it stayed silent for a while... The moment I looked up again, I noticed she smiled at me again... 'Do you remember how you felt when you first came in here?' Again, I nodded quickly...'And how did you feel?'

'Scared... Nervous... Heh... Sad...

'And how do you feel now?'

'The same but... Relieved.'

'That's good...' She said with a smile

'B-But... Does anyone else has to...?'

'No. I'll be alone with you with every session we have. And what you are telling me is strict confidential and will stay between these four walls.'

'Okay. Thanks...'

'You're very welcome. Alright, I would like to give you two things to take home with you. Call it some sort of homework.'

'Oh...?

'Yes.'

She writes something down on her notepad and handed the sheet of paper to me. "Name three things you like about yourself and three things you don't like about yourself". When I looked back at her, she still kept smiling... 'I want you to take this sheet of paper, and write down three things you like about yourself and what you don't like about yourself.'

'Okay...'

'And the second thing is... Every morning when you get up to go to college, I want you to take that sheet of paper, stand in front of the mirror and say the things you like about yourself out loud that you wrote down. Bring it with you next week, and we'll discuss the things you don't like about yourself, alright?'

'O-Ok... Sure...'

'Is there anything else you would like to share?'

'Well, I don't... Know at the moment really.'

'That's ok. We can talk next week. And if you feel the need to talk to me, you can always give me a call, and we can schedule our appointment earlier then planned.'

'Okay...'

'Alright, that's about it for today. And... I'll see you next Tuesday, same time?'

'Sure...'

'Alright. I'll walk you out.'

So we both got up and we were walking through the hallway. I couldn't help but to stare at her legs though. Again, that hypnotic ticking of her heels on the stone floor... She's an amazing woman to see... But I guess she was already taken. A woman so beautiful like her can pick anyone she wanted. But then, when I was staring at her fine legs and her nice butt, I noticed she turned her head and smiled at me while we kept on walking to the exit. I quickly recovered and looked her in the face instead of her beautiful curves... 'So you got the day off, or do you need to go back to college?'

'Hm? Oh! Well, I got the whole week off.'

'Ooh, I'm envious! I wish I had the same! It's a lovely day today, and it's only twelve o'clock. You got any plans for today?'

'Well no, not really. I need to do groceries so I might shop around for a bit while I'm at it.'

'Clothes too?' she said with a smile...

'I might... Who knows? Hehe...'

Then before I know it, we were in the hall... We just stood there for a moment while she kept smiling at me... I could already imagine her taking my hands and whispering in my ear... "Take me, Nikki... Take me now..." Pffft... Yeah right... Like that's gonna happen... But... How was I able to resist smiling every time I saw her smiling? I couldn't, so again, I was smiling at her... Josephine just looks so... So damn beautiful... 'Alright, well I'd say, enjoy the rest of your day, and I'll see you next week, alright?'

'Huh? O-oh! Yeah, see you next week...'

' I'm looking forward to it.'

'Bye...'

'Bye Nicole!'

The conversation I had with Josephine didn't change much in the way I felt really. I did feel better the moment I left, but I knew I had still a long and difficult way to go. But the way Josephine talked to me... It was so different then I was used to whenever someone else talked to me. I've never been so open and honest to anyone before, let alone against a complete stranger. Like Ceylan said, she stayed objective and she talked about ME, not about anyone else. Asking me how I feel, what I think of the things that happened, and she didn't judge me of my actions. It actually startled me. It seems as if she really understood what I was saying, and I finally had someone who truly understood me. Or at least she made me believe that. And this was only the first conversation. Many more would follow. But I had confidence that everything would be alright...

As I made my way to the parking lot, I noticed that leopard guy standing on the street, smoking a cigarette. You know, the leopard guy I saw in the waiting room. His eyes were all red, and he seemed less nervous then he was before. He turned his head and smiled at me, and I just smiled back at him. I crossed the street and got in my car...