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Soul Searching

"Fuck... my head feels like it has been compressed in a vice..."

"Considering what happened to you, that isn't too far off from the truth."

A groan forced its way out of me as I sat up and held my head gingerly. Slowly, my eyes parted to reveal a vast, solid expanse of white. Standing in front of me was a human clad in a full-length robe, one shade darker than the white surrounding us. The air behind him almost seemed to bend and fluctuate, similar to a heat haze on a sweltering summer day. His black, silky hair covered one of his topaz eyes, but the other one locked onto me with a friendly glitter. With a small smile, he held out his hand for me to take. I grabbed on and was helped to my feet.

"Careful, big guy. You might be a bit woozy until you remember," he said with a bit of concern, making sure I was steady.

"What happened to me? What is this place?" I looked all around before turning my attention back to the person. As I opened my mouth to ask the man who he was, a frightening realization set in. "Wh... who am I?"

Without a word, the man took a few steps forward and placed his hands on my shoulders comfortingly. "Relax. One question at a time. You will get all of your answers, but let's start with something simple... try to remember your name."

"How do I..."

"Think back to anything you may remember. Sift through memories you can relive and try to pick out what they are saying to you. What they are calling you. Your name."

I closed my eyes and did as the man suggested. The memories I had were scattered, akin to several hundred single loose-leaf papers with information thrown about on a desk without any semblance of order. It took time, but I was able to find a promising memory. It was a gathering of some sort. The night sky, bonfire, roasted foodstuffs, and someone running up to greet me... "Kurtis. He called me Kurtis."

Looking again, the man gave me a beaming smile before he pat my back. "Great job, son. Kurtis Hadaway is your name. We're going to try something that will likely be more difficult. What about your species?"

Going back to the desk in my mind, I searched without knowing what to look for, until I stumbled upon a mirror. "Equine, some type of horse..." For the first time since awakening, I took the time to look down at myself. I wore the same type of robe as the human before me. The garment covered most of my body; however, the one thing it failed to conceal were the tufts of fur on the calves of my legs, making them look larger than they probably were. I held out my arms and appraised the spotted light gray and darker silver speckled fur. "Am I a stallion?"

"Yes, my son, you are." The hands gripped my shoulders a little bit tighter in encouragement. "Last question for now. What is the strongest thing you can recall? It's likely to be the very last thing you experienced."

"...I'm in the car, on the way to some meeting. Just past a green light, something hit me from the side, and--" My eyes winced tighter shut as a crushing sensation bore down onto my skull and the left side of my body. Once the pain subsided, I shivered and opened my eyes. "I'm... dead, aren't I?"

The man nodded sadly and let go of me. "Kurtis Hadaway, stallion. Stock broker. A semi-truck ran a red light and collided with your sedan, killing you instantly. There was nothing anyone could do."

Seconds trickled into minutes as the information sank in. The man stood unmoving before me, waiting patiently for me to speak when I was ready. Finally, I was. "So, is... is this heaven?"

"Where we stand right now is the crossroad between the world of the living and that of the dead. You're one of the few who has been given a choice."

My brows knit together in confusion. "What choice? What do you mean?"

"You are free to enter your, uh... 'Heaven' if you wish, but someone special wants to talk with you. Someone who I would personally hear out, if I were you."

"Who?"

He gave me a sly smile, almost as if that had been the question he was waiting for. "Hades."

"Wait, hold on, hang up..." I sputtered before taking a deep breath. "The god Hades? Greek god of the Underworld Hades? That Hades?!"

"So you've heard of him. That makes my job much easier."

We both stared at each other for quite awhile before I hinged my jaw back in place and found my voice. "So, who are you then?"

"Tell me, Kurtis. Do you know much about Greek Mythology?" he asked with a friendly smile.

"Sure, ask someone who has just died, with memory loss, about knowing a certain topic." I couldn't help but snort as I mentally paced to the desk. "A little. It's a garbled mess, but I know a few things. Nothing explains you or this... space we are in."

"I am an entity of many shapes, forms, and sizes, young Kurtis. Dozens upon dozens of names have been given to me; however, you may call me Mo, if you so desire," he said with a bow and sweep of his arm.

"Alright then, Mo. Apparently I have a date with the devil. What is going to happen next?"

"You will be put to sleep, and when you wake up, you'll find a ferry that will take you across the River Styx. That reminds me..." Mo reached into the front of his robe and tossed something small and shiny that glittered through the air. I caught it with ease and inspected the coin in my hand. "Currency; more specifically, a golden drachma. Can't go into the Underworld with completely empty pockets."

Mo walked up to me and once again placed his hand on my shoulder. "Chances are you will never see me again, son. Stay safe, trust your gut and instincts. When you are down there, those are the only things you can." With that, the man waved a hand over my eyes, causing sleep to consume me.

-=-=-=-=-=-

The near pitch-black, billowy sky with red streaks and hues was not the first thing I expected to see when my eyes parted open again. Before I could think, a shadow loomed in from the corners of my vision, until a ghastly figure stood above me. My brain told me to sense fear, but I was more curious than anything. The apparition's face held a lot of pain, though it still looked down at me with concern.

"Are you okay, sir? Are you hurt?" it asked, the voice rough and raspy.

I shook my head and sat up slowly. The figure kindly took a few steps back to give me space. "A bit dazed and confused, but okay." My hands curiously clawed at the surface underneath me. It felt like some type of stone or rubble, and I brought them back to my face. I realized that the deathly soil had stained the gray fur a darker black.

"Are you going to be riding the ferry?"

Standing up was much easier than the first time after I awoke, though I was still a bit groggy. "Yes; do you require payment?" I asked and received a short nod as an answer. As I tried to open the robe that I was previously wearing, I instead tried to part open the neck of a tee-shirt. Somehow, I had gotten changed into a pair of jeans and an old shirt that I recognized as a lounging outfit I used to wear. As silly as it may sound, knowing that these pieces of clothing brought me comfort when I was alive gave me even more now that I was dead. It's hard to describe. Reaching into my pants pocket, I fished out the golden drachma that was given to me. After handing it to the figure, he paused and inspected the coin closer before gasping.

"Are you here from talking to Dreamer? Are you on your way to speak to the Lord?" it inquired, its pain-filled eyes going wide with a bit of excitement.

"You know me?" I asked, still unsure of the situation.

"Are you surprised I was informed of your arrival? Are you going to be comfortable on the ferry?"

Looking past the figure, before us was something that I had only read about in fiction: The River Styx. Almost tar-like in appearance, it was a calm, nearly still body of water that continued as far as the eye could see. We stood next to the river bank, and the ferry in question was just to the left of us. "Ferry" is a generous word. It was more like a dingy, but the thing that surprised me was that there was already a passenger. "I should be, yes."

The phantom looked conflicted for a moment before handing me back the coin. "Are you going to be giving that drachma to the Lord?" He nodded emphatically and pointed to the coin once more.

"Now I will be, yes," I muttered uncertainly. "May I ask why you always phrase your sentences as questions?"

"When he was appointed this job, he was cursed into making sure the lost souls were comfortable." The other passenger in the ferry answered my question with its head turned away. "As such, he can only ask about them, not tell of himself." Looking at the first phantom once more, it nodded in confirmation before waving to the dingy.

As I climbed into and got seated on the rocky boat, I couldn't help but smile. "Is this seat taken?"

A humph sounded from the entity next to me as the driver stood on the ferry, grabbed the comically long stick and pushed us off on our slow ride.

The underworld is surprisingly beautiful... if you like the dark arts or graphic macabre. Dead trees were scattered everywhere, though they moved as if alive. The wandering souls looked like they were trapped in a prison courtyard. However, there was an eerie calm that was surprisingly relaxing.

"So, what are you here for?"

"Pardon?" I asked the ghost sitting next to me, its head still spun away from me.

"Why are you down under? You look like the type of soul much more suited to paradise." A touch of venom was in its tone.

"I was told that Ha-" Before I could continue, a ghostly hand suddenly covered my mouth. It wouldn't have stopped me from saying anything, due to it being transparent and void of any real force, but the surprise silenced me just as well.

"Whatever you do, don't say the Lord's name out loud," my fellow passenger warned and dropped its arm. "God of the Underworld wants to talk to you, then? How did you die?"

A shiver ran through my body as I replayed my memory. "Fatal car accident. You?"

"Sentenced to death via lethal injections."

"What did you do?" The question found its way out of my mouth before I thought about it, and I couldn't help but cover my lips.

Silence filled the air for a few moments. "I was a serial killer, and I deserve every last punishment thrown my way," it murmured.

I knew it was a bad idea, but I just had to ask. "Why did you do it?"

The passenger was silent before it turned to me for the first time. She was a female cougar with an indescribable amount of regret in her features. "Why not?" The spectre shook her head and looked down at her feet.

The rest of the ride was spent in a mute silence. After a while, we came to her stop in the labor yard, and she got off. Before walking away, the feline turned and smiled at me. It was interpreted by me as a silent thank you for hearing her out. I smiled and waved.

It didn't feel like the rest of the trip took ten minutes. I was actually about to doze off when a voice snapped me awake. "Are we here?" The specter guiding the dingy said as it almost appeared to shiver.

As the ferry grew closer to the impossibly-detailed mansion, the red and black motif was nearly constant. The only other visible color was the off-white cream of bones that lay scattered across the building and settlement. From what I could see, the establishment was nestled on a weirdly-shaped peninsula surrounded by the River Styx.

I stood as we came to stop at the side of a dock. "Thank you for the ride; will you be okay?"

"Are you really worried about me? Are you going to be careful?"

After hoisting myself up onto the dock, I turned back and nodded. "Yes, and yes."

The figure smiled before pushing the ferry away with the stick and began sailing back the way we came.

Anxiety started to churn in my stomach as I stared at the massive, elegantly dark building that was starting to feel more like an asylum as the seconds multiplied. Before I worked up the courage to take a step, a skeleton walked out of the gaping entrance toward me.

"You're Kurtis, correct?" It asked in a surprisingly suave voice. He was dressed in a suit, which gave off the first impression of a butler.

"Yes... I am."

It might have been my eyes playing tricks on me, but I swear I saw that skeleton smile before it held out its bony hand. "Right this way, sir."

The inside of the macabre mansion wasn't any more cheery than the outside. Skulls from various species lined the walls, pillars, and drapes as gruesome etchings. The light was tinted deep violet, which was at least a change from the contrasting red; it served to give the building a bit of life, for lack of a better term.

I followed the skeletal butler through a kitchen, dining hall, and what seemed to be a recreation room, until we got to some sort of throne area. Two grand seats were faced away from us as we walked inside - a bigger black and red throne in the center, with a smaller one to the right.

"Master, I've brought the soul you've requested, still intact."

"Very well. You may leave." The spoken voice emanated from the bigger throne, sounding almost how oil would feel, though it wasn't unpleasant.

The servant bowed and walked away. The soft grinding of bone could be heard as it shuffled to perform its other duties. Before I could say anything, both thrones swiveled slowly until their occupants faced me.

"You must be Kurtis." The man seated in the black, red, and skull-studded throne spoke. Surprisingly, he looked a bit like Mo. He had thick, oily hair that went down past his shoulders; it seemed to move as if it were rivulets of River Styx. Deep, piercing azure eyes bore their way into mine, however not intimidatingly. He was adorned in a robe similar in color to that of the rest of the residence. "I am Hades. You may speak my name, if you so wish."

'Stay safe, trust your gut and instincts. When you are down there, those are the only things you can.' Mo's words echoed throughout my mind, causing me to shudder before I steeled myself.

"Thank you; however, I would rather not, sir. May I ask why you have requested to see me?"

Hades' eyebrows raised before a sly smile spread across his face. "You're a smart one. Listen, despite popular belief, I'm not a bad guy, truly I'm not. Unlike almost all others, you staying down here is a choice, not a sentence. So let's get down to business." He motioned to the woman in the seat next to him. "This is Persephone; do you know of her tale?"

"I believe she is your wife, if I'm not mistaken. Goddess of vegetation, she returns every spring to the over-world, then returns here when summer ends."

The gorgeous maiden nodded while her husband clapped his hands together. "I didn't expect you to know that; well done." He smiled.

I scratched the back of my neck as my ears became a bit warmer. "Honestly, I'm not too sure how or why I remember that."

"Regardless, you do. You see, she gets a bit lonely in the seasons that she is down here. Persephone loves wildlife and, as you may assume, we can't really have pets down here." Hades snickered and flicked his hair back. "That's where you come in, Kurtis."

His words knocked the wind out of me. "You... want me... to be a pet?"

After sharing a round of laughter, husband and wife both shook their heads. "I want you to keep me company, stallion." The goddess' voice floated elegantly in the stale air. "Contrary to popular belief, I like it down here, but I do miss the wild. For half of the year, I wish for something to remind me of the wilderness." She grinned at me. "What better than a stallion to help me remember?"

I stood, dumbfounded. "Why me?"

"You were a very honest individual during life - a rarity upon your kind. You possess everything she wants. What will it be, Kurtis?"

It didn't take me long to make up my mind. Quietly, I dug into my pants pocket and tossed the drachma through the air and onto the floor in between both of their feet. "Who in their right mind would say no? Where's my room? I'll check in tomorrow, if I don't wake up alive."

Fall Out Boy - "Alone Together" lyrics:

I don't know where you're going / But do you got room for one more troubled soul?

I don't know where I'm going / But I don't think I'm coming home and I said

I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead

This is the road to ruin / And we're starting at the end

(chorus)

Say yeah (yeah!) / Let's be alone together (yeah)

We could stay young forever (yeah)

Scream it from the top of your lungs, lungs, lungs

Say yeah (yeah!) / Let's be alone together (yeah)

We could stay young forever (yeah)

We'll stay young, young, young, young, young.

You cut me off, I lost my track / It's not my fault, I'm a maniac

It's not funny anymore, no it's not

My heart is like a stallion / They love it more when it's broke in

Do you wanna feel beautiful? / Do you wanna? Yeah!

I'm outside the door, invite me in / So we can go back and play pretend

I'm on deck, yeah, I'm up next / Tonight I'm high as a private jet

(repeat first verse)

(repeat chorus)

My heart is like a stallion / They love it more when it's broke in

Do you wanna feel beautiful? / Do you wanna? Yeah!

I'm outside the door, invite me in / So we can go back and play pretend

I'm on deck, yeah, I'm up next / Tonight I'm high as a private jet.

(repeat chorus)

(repeat first verse)

Lyric video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UI1QTKs9E8