Mini Scene: A Lion, Vixen, and the Search for Better Scene Description

Story by Space Lion on SoFurry

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This is the opening to a potentially larger story I have on the back burner. My issue, is I'm not very good at describing the abstract. I'm solid with factual, but for such scenes, that would not ready very well.

I'd like some honest feedback about the descriptive word choices for this little scene portion. Were they more "feeling" words, that described the participants and locale, or do they read like they're being read off a checklist.

I'm looking to improve, so honest feedback is desired. My lion-y heart is decently strong, so don't feel like you need to hold back on critique.


The room was bathed in a soft luminescent white light. The walls were padded, black, to ensure that whatever fun was had within the four walls, the sound remained there. In the middle of the room hung a metal pole, horizontal on its axis. Heavy rope was tied tightly around either end, and was connected to a loop mount in the ceiling. This would not be terribly unusual, were it not for the slightly aroused and softly whimpering vixen hung upon it.

The back of the fox's knees were curled around the metal bar, and her calves were tied and trussed against her thighs. This made her legs flex heavily, and showed off the muscles in her thighs. Her arms were tied up behind her back as well, and out of the way. The bright orange fur of the female fox stood in stark contrast of the slick black walls of the room. The orange fur of her chest, belly, and thighs, was a lighter hue than the rest of her. Her large heavy breasts, with bright pink erect puffy nipples, obeyed gravity, and hung down towards her face. Between her muscular and shapely thighs, the bright pink lips of her vulva was in full view. They glistened with the secretions of her pink colored sex; her arousal in plain sight for any who was there to observe. The black-hued lips of her muzzle were parted, and her reddened tongue lolled out to one side. She was panting softly, and little whines of her needful arousal escaped her mouth. If the brown velvet blindfold hadn't been covering her eyes, she'd have been able to see the large erect cock of the lion that stood before her.

The lion stood tall and broad shouldered before the upside down and trussed up female fox. His well groomed fur was golden brown, and his luxurious mane was a ruddy red-brown. He stood before his naked prize so close, that his exhales of breath could be felt caressing along the light orange fur of her thighs. His breath was hot and full of desire. Part of the fun of having her trussed up like this, was the delayed gratification he forced upon himself. The other, was the growing arousal of the vixen, as she was blinded to her surroundings. He got to choose when and where he indulged in the naked female, and that power was not lost on him. It's partially what aroused him so. Just inches away from her parted muzzle, was his erection; thick, long, and heavy. The fur of his sheath was matted damp with his own excitement. and the head of his cock was shiny in the soft light of the room. He had only to bring his hips forward, and the soft plump lips of the eager female would be wrapped around his member in a lustful suckling kiss.