Chapter six - Past and future

• MOMIII! MOMIII!

The little cheetah looked all around him for his mother, but she was not around. It was the first time he was on a "su-wey" and wanted to see everything. It looked like a train but went under the ground, we wanted to know how it worked. So, when his mom had started sleeping, he went to look around. Now, he didn't know where he was and couldn't find her. Feeling afraid and alone, he began to cry, not knowing what to do.

Then, a soft paw on his shoulder made him look up... and then to his eye level... and then a little lower, to find a smiling bunny in police uniform.

• Hi there. Are you lost?- Asked the bunny, sounding girly. He nodded.- Don't worry, I will help you. What is your name?

• Josh. I am five.- He added showing her his paws with five fingers lifted like his mother had taught him.

• Wow, already five years old?- Said the bunny, looking surprised, to which he nodded vigorously.- I tough you would be older. Look, you are bigger than me!

He laughed. She was very funny.

• Ok, then. Let's look for your mom. I'm sure she is not far.

• But...- He hesitated.- My momi says I must not go with strangers.

• And she is quite right, you mustn't. You are very smart.- She said, serious but still smiling.- But that is ok, I am a police officer. If you are in trouble, you can trust us.

• O-ok.- He said letting her take his paw and walking through the other mammals standing there. They walked until he saw his mother, sleeping in one of the seats.

• MOMI!- He shouted, letting go of the bunny's paw and running to her mother, who woke up with his son's crying.

• What is going on, Josh? Why are you crying?- She asked hugging him.

• I got lost.

• Really?

• Yeah, but this "poice offecer" helped me.

• I see.- The adult cheetah looked at the bunny apologetically and then back to the kid.- Then you should thank her.

He turned around, happy to be with his mother.- Thank you, "offecer".

• You are very welcome. Next time, don't go away from your mother or she will worry.

He nodded, understanding.

• Thank you very much for your help officer...- Started the mother, but she didn't know the name of the bunny.

• Hopps, Judy Hopps.

• Thank you, Officer Hopps.- She said, her face visibly tired.- We come from another city to visit his grandmother. It's been a long trip, and I must have dozed off.

• It's alright, we are here to help.- Said Judy to the larger mammal.- Have a nice day.

• Same to you.

• Bye, "offecer"

Judy turned to wave good-bye to the little cheetah before going back to the other end of the subway, where there should still be some place to stand.

It felt good to help that little kid, even if it wasn't much of a deal. Just knowing that he had made him happy in a moment of distress was enough to make her day.

It's been a while since she actually felt that way, with all that had happened recently. It almost felt like the whole shooting incident and posterior circumstances had been ages ago, or in another life, but it had only been three weeks since she went to Nick's house.

Remembering those moments made her both smile and feel sad. It was a bitter-sweet memory that she treasured and revisited every time she could.

...

...

Both mammals got inside the house again, in silence, and dried themselves for the second time with the towels. The moment was very awkward since Nick has spilled the beans about him being in love with her. Neither knew what to do now. It was still 7:35 pm, according to the wall clock. They had, at the very least, twelve more ours of being together.

• I, um... I'll go get something for you to wear. While your clothes dry up, I mean.- Said the fox, going into a room to the right, probably his bedroom. He came out soon enough, walking out slowly and... fearful? Embarrassed? He had something in his paws, which he pawed to Judy. She understood what the issue was.

He had no female clothes that would fit her, even if he actually had something feminine. So, the closest thing was one of his Hawaiian shirts and underwear, both of which were obviously very big for her. She couldn't help it and snorted.

• Really? One of the most common cliches, the woman wearing the lover's several sizes too big for her shirt, and you try to pull it off?- She said, faking being offended.

His eyes opened wide and blushed intensely. He started to try to explain, but her laughter froze him on the spot.

• Sorry, Nick, I had to. Too good a chance to waste it.- She looked at him and her laughing stopped, seeing as he was serious. Not even slightly amused, bothered or mad. He stood there, eyes directed at the floor, not wanting to look at her.

Judy felt her eyes about to give up yet again, but it wasn't time for that. Everything had been said and their future laid out, but they had to be together until morning. And she didn't want to waste that.

She came closer to Nick and just leaned against him, her forehead resting on his chest, like that time under the bridge, so long ago.

• When I leave in the morning, you won't see me again. I will not come back, try to reach you, ask anyone about you... I will...- She gulped, finding it hard to say.- I will try to move on and let you do the same. Starting tomorrow, each of us will live away from the other. But, for now, let's just be friends again. Until that time, just do that for me. Let's enjoy these hours together as if none of this mess had happened. Let me have these last memories of you as my friend, to cherish them forever. Please?

The fox didn't answer for a few seconds and then hugged her, tightly, to the point he almost hurt her, not that she minded, as she was feeling the same herself.

He eased the hug shortly after and looked at her, with a smile she had been missing for months.

• Go change your clothes in the bathroom while I prepare something for dinner. I have learned to cook a few thing that I think you will like. When you come out, I will put them in the washer and then the dryer. They will be ready for you tomorrow.

She smiled and went into the bathroom to change, not before giving him back the underwear, as she would not be able to use it in any way. As she suspected, the shirt was large enough to cover her almost entirely, so she could use it like a nightdress of sorts. The only problem was she had nothing to wear under it.

• Well, nothing we can do about it.

Leaving her wet clothes in the sink, to let them drain some of the water and left in search of Nick. The sounds and smells of cooking leading her inside the living room again, which connected with the kitchen through a door and a counter, through which she saw Nick cutting some vegetables. The fox raised his eyes when he noticed Judy coming in and froze there with the knife half-done cutting. The bunny could clearly see him swallow, his gaze fixed on her, which made her feel self-conscious and embarrassed.

• Nicholas Phibeus Wilde, either you stop ogling me like that or I will pawcuff you outside.- She warned with a murdering look to the fox. He snapped out of it and resumed cutting the veggies.

• I, uh, hope you like this. One of the guys in the precint... my precint, taught me how to cook this. He called it " Three pepper Saute".

• Sounds delicious.- She said, sitting on a stool and stepping on a pedal to raise it so she could see over the counter.

• And it tastes delicious. You know I am not a fan of vegetables, I don't have a problem eating them aside that I don't like them much, but this dish caught me by surprise.

The bunny giggled. She had been trying to make him eat some vegetables a few times per week, so he would be eating healthier food.

• I'm glad you like'em now.- She said.- Tell me about your precint. Are the rest of the officers nice?

• Oh, sure! First day there and they threw me a party and everything.

• You are kidding!- Judy was staring at him, incredulous.

• Nope. Since there is a very low crime rate in this district, they take work a little differently. They throw parties, joke on the radio... Well, I know we DID that when I was on central, but Bogo shut everyone up. But yeah, we have fun. And everyone there is great. There's this boar named Howard Jamhowski, he tells every single kind of joke, ALL DAY LONG. And the worst part is all of them are good! You can't tell him to stop because you actually want to hear more! There is also... Oh! Maria and Alfred, they are the newest couple. Picture this: a female tiger and a male pig.

• Shut up!

• Really! James told me... Oh, James is the one at the front desk, like Clawhauser, only he like to gossip even more. Anyway, James told me they have been flirting with each other FOR A YEAR before he asked her out. And by flirting I mean HARD. During the party they threw me, he was like "I saved you some of your favorite snacks, I don't want that body to be hungry" and things like that.

• O M...

• Goodness, yeah, I know.- Both laughed while he added the vegetables to a hot pan and started stirring every once in a while.- What about you? Anything new up there?

• Well, sorta. I've been paired with Grizzoli. He is the reason I knew where you lived. And I am telling you this so you go easy on him.

• Oh, so he is the traitor, isn't he?- He said looking at her from the corner of his eyes.

• Well, not exactly. I kinda threatened him.

• Mmm.- He seemed to ponder about that for a moment. She could actually be capable of that.- The usual murder look, I assume?

The bunny grinned evilly.- Well, aside from that, there are two new rookies.

• Interesting. Anything worth mentioning about them?- He asked, acrobatically throwing the food in the air with a flick and catching them in the pan when falling.

• You could say that. Shasha, a wolf, seems good enough, as far as I know anyway. And I think Wolfurd has a thing for her.

• Seriously?

Judy nodded.- He doesn't say anything, but his tail does. Every time she walks near him.

Both chuckled, knowing how private the male wolf was. It would be an interesting topic to discuss with him next time they meet, thought Nick.

• And the other one?- He asked.

• Eeeem...- That was something didn't want to talk about, so tried to change the subject.- When did you learn to cook like that? That move you did before was awesome.

Nick arched both eyebrows and smirked.- Any problem with that rookie, officer Hopps?

She sighed. He picked on that, of course.- I... may have broken him... a little.

• What do you mean?- He asked serving two planes of the food and bringing them to the counter.

• I behaved like an ass lately. Grizzoli is actually my fourth partner since you left. I was very mad at you and treated everyone badly. This rookie, top marks, eager, responsible, was assigned to me and I sorta yelled at him for even sneezing too loud.

• That doesn't sound like you.- He commented, giving her one of the two forks he got from the drawer.

• I know!- She replied, angry with herself and lowering her gaze to the ground.- I just couldn't help it. I did the same to Leonmane and Higgins, and to the rest of the guys too. Clawhauser was even afraid of me.

Nick sighed, understanding the reasons behind all that. He felt the same on his firsts days, but at least it was his own decision. She didn't have any choice.

• Judy.- He took her paws into his and looked straight into her eyes.- They will forget. You are a good cop and bunny. They will forgive you, you'll see.

She managed a half smile and squeezed his paws in appreciation. Then, she took the fork and took and tried what he had prepared. As the name implied, there were peppers, but also mushrooms, zucchini and, what a surprise, carrot strips.

• Nick, this is delicious!- She said, very impressed, making Nick smile shyly and blush a bit.

• Glad you like it.- He took also a bite and he agreed with her.

The rest of the dinner the bunny and fox shared gossips and anecdotes of this time they had been apart, both from work and outside it. Nick even told Judy about Janette, though grudgingly. He didn't want to hurt further his friend, but she insisted on knowing a bit about her and see him happy talking about the woman sharing his life now. Each word pierced her heart, she wanted to be the one he talked about, but the bunny stoically kept the smile on her face and tried to feel happy for him. He deserved to be.

Time passed by and the hour to go to sleep arrived. Even if they had a very nice time together as friends, they suddenly became aware that it had ended. Their mood changed drastically, avoiding each other's eyes and not talking.

Nick was the first to stand up, walking through the door into the living room and stopping close to Judy.- I will show you your room.- And continued walking to the hallway. She followed him, not wanting this to end like it was all rehearsed and not two real friends having a good time.

They went to the last door in the hallway and Nick opened it, turned on the lights and stepped aside, allowing her to walk inside.

• When...- He started, but his voice cracked and had to clear his throat before speaking again.- When you wake up, I'll have your clothes ready. I'll drive you home. Good night.

Hearing that last part, she turned to him and grabbed him by the arm to stop him.

• Wait, Nick!- She wanted to say something, anything, whatever could make their time last longer, but she had nothing. This was as far as they could go. And he knew too. That was the reason he said nothing else and kept walking, not wanting to look at her, because he knew that would be a mistake.

• You lied to me.

Nick stopped dead and turned to see her, confused. She wasn't looking at him, but her eyes were obviously getting wet, and she was biting her lower lip, as if not wanting to say anything more.

• We agreed to be friends until I left, but now you shove me into a room and walk away with just a "good night"!- She yelled, frustration taking a hold on her, stronger than ever. She didn't want this to end this way. Why wouldn't they stay awake all night, watching a movie, playing chess, talking... anything! They still had hours to spend, why it had to end there?

Because there was nothing more they could do. They agreed to be friends, nothing more. That was the line, the limit for their deal. Nick knew and, deep inside, also did Judy. But that didn't make it easier to accept.

• You didn't even call me "Carrots".

He resumed his way to his own room, without saying a word. The door closed softly, but felt like a strong slam to the bunny.

...

Hours passed, the storm outside sounding way softer now. There were still some lightning here and there and rain poured, just not as much.

Judy couldn't sleep at all. Her mind wouldn't stop spinning, remembering one by one each moment since she got shot. She wanted to see if she could have done something, or said something, that would have made a difference, that would have kept Nick with her, even if only as a friend. She would have been happy just with that. But there wasn't anything.

And still, her mind wouldn't let her rest, even if she already knew.

She sat on the edge of the bed, giving up on sleeping. Giving up on being strong, on holding everything she could inside.

So, she let it all out.

She had cried before, a lot, but she was angry, frustrated, sad... This was the first time that she cried just because it hurt, because she couldn't keep that pain inside anymore.

Two rivers of pure anguish fell from her amethyst eyes to her paws covering them and, after overflowing, to the room floor, making a small puddle between her feet.

Her heart and throat felt like someone was squeezing everything from them, not letting her get enough air in her lungs or blood to pump. But every minute she cried, somehow felt better. She was hurting, a lot, suffering from losing a dear and close friend, someone she loved with all her heart and soul, but letting her body to actually feel it instead of denying it, helped.

In the end, she had no more tears to cry, she could finally breath and her heart felt normal, with a strong heartbeat. She let air in, as deep as she could, and then exhaled slowly. It still hurt, but by far way less.

Her mind was clearer too. She could think again like Judy Hopps, a strong woman who became a police officer, against all odds, and solved many crimes, some of them involving murder. She understood from the beginning that, in those murder cases, there was nothing she could do to save the victim, only to get the culprit behind bars.

This was the same. The damage was already done, there was no way of "fixing" it. She already knew everything there was to know. The only thing left to do was to close the case.

...

The door opened without any sound at all. Distant and random lightning sneaking in through the windows on the top of the back wall were the only source of light that told the bunny were was everything in the room, and the soft snoring of the fox in the bed were the only other sounds besides the thunders and the rain.

She came closer, straight for the bed, her feet making no sound as she approached. Only when she sat at the edge of the small bed, Nick opened his eyes, albeit still too asleep to figure out what was there.

Judy placed a paw on his cheek, caressing his face from there and up to his ear and back. That did wake him.

• Judy? What are you...

She put two fingers on his lips to shush him and closed the distance between them to kiss him, slowly and softly, like time didn't exist and all they had to do in that world was that.

At first, he resisted, but just the very first second of contact. After that, his heart took control and replied the bunny of his dreams the same way she was.

There was no rush, none at all. Every moment, every touch, every whisper, was made to last as long as it had to be. They had to do it that way. They both knew that would be the only night they had together. After that, they would go their separate ways. They would never meet again, for that would only start all the grief again. They would never call the other, even if just to simply listen to their voice answering the call, for they would not be able to go on like that. They would never ask anybody about the other, for the hopes that gave them would only break them on the inside.

They had all their lives ahead and only that night together. They did everything gently to remember forever every single detail. Every sound they made rubbing their furs together, everything they felt caressing each and every part of the other's body, every smell their bodies released, every taste their tongues could get... They wanted all of it to remain forever in their hearts and memories. From the softest sigh when a paw just touched a sensible part to the loudest moan once they finally joined in one body, from the slightest scent in their necks to the strong smell of sweat, from the velvety caresses to the rough scratching with the claw and the occasional bite with sharp teeth...

Not one place in their bodies was left unexplored. The night went on without a moment to rest. They didn't need it, not until their arms, legs and lips gave up from exhaustion.

Too soon, at least for them, with a final effort from their sore muscles, they reached their own paradise, together, and came back from there. Panting and their hearts beating like crazy, though exhilarated for the first time in a long time, they lay one beside the other, looking at each other, regaining their breath while losing themselves in each other's eyes.

Nick was the first in falling asleep, leaving Judy to enjoy for a few more seconds the sight in front of her.

She woke up, thinking barely a few seconds had passed, but a glance at the well lit room and the clock on the nightstand corrected her. It was almost twelve, time to go, forever.

She slowly got up, not wanting to awake Nick, and left the room on her way to a small room where the washer and dryer were, the last of which had finished with her clothes hours ago. She took them out and got dressed, not caring about her smell, sweat or staining her panties at that point. She had to leave.

She only lingered long enough to write a note to nick and leave it close to him back in the bedroom. Then, with sadness in her eyes, she left.

Goodbye, Dumb fox.

...

...

That night became the memory she held on every day to just keep on living. Circumstances had not been good with her, but she would get pass them. She had to.

That determination helped her get up every day, get the subway to the station and work as she was intended to do. It hasn't been easy: she had to apologize to everyone she had misbehaved to, including the rookie, the first day she got back to work after the storm. She felt that she didn't deserve to be forgiven, at least not in the near future, since she had been very irrational and she should have controlled herself. But she was gladly surprised when everyone accepted her apologies with a smile.

Everything was back to normal, with some minor changes: Grizzoli was still her partner, and they got along better. She never told him why the sudden change and he never asked.

She went out more, being invited more often to drink with the other officers. Grizzoli, Delgato, Fangmeier and Wolfur included her in their group and they went out to the movies, to a concert or whatever plan they came up with.

Things were going well. And also, there was this other thing...

The subway arrived at her stop and she got out, walked up the stairs out of the exit and in front of her was the precint. She walked in that direction, noticing her partner was already there, waiting for her with a cup of coffee in one paw for her.

• Slept well?

• Sure did. Though I wouldn't have minded to chat a little more with you guys last night.

• I'm sure you wouldn't but we need our beauty sleep, you know?

She crossed her arms over her chest, pretending to be offended.- Are you saying that I am not beauty because I sleep less?

• Quite the contrary.- Replied the white wolf, walking inside the building and winking at her.- You are already a beauty, so you need less sleep than us.

• Awww, what a flatterer. You almost made me believe that.

Both of them laughing, they went pass Clawhauser's desk, who waved at them, and got inside the bullpen. They greeted the rest of the gang, got to their seats, and chatted animatedly until Chief Bogo came in.

• Good morning everyone. Due to a new incorporation to our little family, I've had to switch some teams, so pay attention. Higgins, you are with Snarloaf and Wolfur. McHorn and Trunkerbee, you have patrol together. Grizzoli, you are in the Johnson's case with Delgato and Fangmeier.

At this, the bunny and white wolf looked at each other. What had forced Bogo to do this changes they didn't know, but that meant they were partners no more. At least for the time being.

• If it is a new rookie, try not to break him this time.- Whispered the wolf to the bunny, smiling. She hit playfully his arm in response.

-Hopps... Your... new partner seems to be late. Wait here for him and get acquainted. Here is the file of the case you are on. Dismissed!

She took the file and started reading as the rest left the room. She was wondering who would her new partner be. Not very professional, since he was already late on his first day. She didn't have to wait long to hear the door behind her open.

• Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?

Judy's ears perked up in disbelief. She jumped down the chair and looked at the fox in front of her, her eyes beginning to sparkle with tears of joy.

• Hi there, Carrots.- Said Nick with his usual smirk.

Judy took a step forward, not daring to move more afraid of it to be a dream.

• Say it again.

• What's the matter? You don believe I'm here, Carrots?

She took another step.- Again.

• You are starting to sound weird, Carrots.

• One more time.

• Okey, Carrots, now it's getting creepy.

With the last step she got in front of Nick, who still had a smile, but another way different than the one she remembered. He was home. He was where he always wanted to be.

Judy lifted herself on her toes to hug Nick's neck and kiss him passionately, feeling her heart about to explode. He hugged and kissed her back, savoring this moment he had been waiting for.

After a few minutes, they broke the kiss, though remained in a tight hug.

• How? Why?

• One question at a time, Fluff. How is easy to answer: I just sold the house, though I had to wait two and a half weeks before I could leave, at the same time I bought back my old place. Also, I called Chief Buffalo Butt to transfer me back here. And for the why... Well, I couldn't in good conscience stay with Janette after confessing my feelings for another mammal, could I? And there is also this amazing bunny that went through hell because I am a selfish idiot and I don't want to let her go. She is too precious for me.

Judy was speechless and crying, so happy she felt. But there was still one question she needed an answer for.

• And what about not wanting to see me suffer again or slow me down if there is risk near?

He sighed, expecting that question.- I'm not sure. I still don't want to see you hurt or in danger. But I don't want to stay away from you either. So I will be here with you, if you let me, so I can protect you from everything. If you want to jump down from a bridge, I will too and serve you as a shield against the ground. Anything needed to keep you safe. Now, I do have a question for you.

With a paw, lifted her chin so she looked at him.- Carrots, will you let me be with you, now and forever, to repay you for all my foolishness?

• Shut up already, dumb fox.

She smashed her lips again against his muzzle, only this time the kiss was shorter.- I love you, Nick.

• I love you too, Judy. I'm sorry that you suffered because of me.

• I already told you, didn't I? I forgave you already.

He tightened the embrace, not feeling like letting her go anytime soon.- I don't deserve you.

• No, you don't.- She agreed, trying not to giggle.- But you still get me.

With a last squeeze, they let go one another, looking into each other's eyes for a moment until they accepted the fact that they still were at the precint.

• So, anything new?

She smiled, joy sparkling in her face.

• Well, you could say that.- She said, taking one of his paws and placing it on her belly.

-_ THE END _-