FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The birds had already gone. Their cheerful songs no longer heard, and their nests left abandoned. Gentle winds blew outside, causing the remaining dried up leaves to fall off of their branches and slowly drift downwards. Thin layers of white snowflake were being picked up by the breeze and thrown high up into the air. Anyone would love to be running outside in the white fluff, chucking large balls of it at their friends, except for lone wolf who sat in the corner of a small room, his eyes unconsciously copying the rhythm of the snow, watching it fly up into the air and fall back down.

It had been severals months since Gilbert had first arrived at the house of a kindhearted tiger who had found him lying in the middle of a road late at night, all the way back in Spring. Although Gilbert was very grateful of the fur, he was in too much pain, still deeply haunted by his past, even after all these months. He had tried to thank the fur before, many times actually, but he didn't have the courage to speak to or even look directly at him.

Like the birds, Gilbert wasn't in the same place; his mind in a completely different world. Everyday and everynight, the 15-year old wolf would cry to himself, only able to see and think of the night that Fell, his best friend, his... lover... was taken away from him. Gilbert blamed himself for it; if he hadn't chased that damned criminal, then Fell would never have died that night, and they would happily be together right now, snug under a warm blanket in the same bed.

All these thoughts about Fell caused Gilbert's chest hurt, his heart burning in pain. With a gasp, he put both paws to his chest and clutched tightly at his heart. Gilbert shut his eyes as the pain tore through him from the inside out. He was panting furiously for air while trying to suppress the pain, but it was no use. Gilbert rolled over to his side and started to crawl over to a desk in the opposite corner, trying to get to a bottle of anti-depressant pills.

Suddenly, however, the door to his room swung open.

"Hey Pup, I brought you some hot soup," the tiger said stepping in. He called Gilbert 'Pup' because he wasn't able to discover his name, considering Gilbert hadn't spoken since he had first arrived.

The bowl of soup slipped out of his paws and dropped to the floor when he saw Gilbert crawling across the floor, pain clearly evident in his facial expression. The white bowl shattered to pieces, shards of white ceramic bouncing in random directions on the cold wooden floor.

"Jesus," he breathed, making his way over to the mahogany-furred wolf. "A-Are you alright?"

The tiger bent down and gently picked Gilbert up, bringing him over to the bed. He set Gilbert's head down on the pillow and pulled the sheets up, covering his body up to the shoulders. The large feline started to leave the room to get something to mop up the mess, but he felt something holding on weakly to his tail.

He quickly spun around, astonished, to see Gilbert's fingers wrapped around it, not letting him leave.

"Please..." Gilbert begged pathetically. "Don't leave, Orange."

For the first time since he found Gilbert, the wolf hasn't spoken a single word to him, so this took him aback. Those four words were probably the only words he'd being hearing for a long time though, since the wolf didn't seem to be becoming more open, still seeming to isolate himself.

"I'm here," he said comfortingly, putting his paws around the paw Gilbert used to grab him with. "The name's Cal, by the way," he chuckled.

"Cal..." Gilbert whispered before he relaxed himself and started to fall asleep.

Cal sat on the bed the whole night, next to Gilbert, holding his paw. Although the wolf was fast asleep, Cal didn't want to leave his side, feeling bad for Gilbert who has showed nothing but pain since the night he found him. Unconsciously, Cal lay back onto the bed and closed his eyes, slowly drifting off into his dreams.

---

"Hello?" Gilbert yelled. "Is anyone there!?"

The wolf was in the city by himself, no one else in sight. The moon was already high up in the sky, the stars shinning brightly around it.

Panicking, Gilbert ran down the empty streets, his heart racing. He wasn't sure what was happening, or where anyone was, but it all made him feel extremely insecure, and scared. Tears started to slowly stream out of his eyes and roll down his cheeks as he ran, searching for life other than himself.

Suddenly, there was a loud scream that came from his left, a dark alleyway. Gilbert stopped running and froze in place, too scared to move. Slowly, he turned his head to look down the narrow space between the two buildings. Was he hearing things, or did someone actually scream?

"Hello?" Gilbert called, stepping into the pitch black.

"Hi, Gil," came a familiar voice, somewhere ahead of him.

"Who is that!?" Gilbert asked quickly, spinning in all directions.

"Have you already forgotten me?" the voice came again, except this time, a dark figure stepped just barely into Gilbert's view.

The figure appeared to be a wolf, standing taller than Gilbert, and had a grey-furred coat. Gilbert stopped breathing and squinted his eyes as the figure started to step forward, approaching him.

"F-... Fell...?" Gilbert breathed after seeing the figure's emerald-colored eyes.

Fell stopped moving and smilied. "Gilbert," he said, giving a nod.

A sudden joy seemed to fill Gilbert as he saw his lover, and he ran towards him, even more tears starting to form in his ruby-red eyes. But, just as he was about to embrace him, he hear two gunshots, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

The grey-furred wolf that stood in front of him was on his knees now, red spots starting to form on his shirt.

"I l-lo-... love y-ou..." Fell whispered, the words barely escaping his throat.

"Fell!" Gilbert screamed, waking up the following morning with tears in his eyes from the same nightmare that has been repeating every night since he arrived at this house. His heart was pounding furiously against his chest as he searched anxiously around his surroundings for the grey-furred wolf in his dreams. He wasn't there.

"Huh?" Cal groaned, opening his eyes.

Sudden realization that Cal was next to him in the bed caused Gilbert to shut his mouth and wipe away the tears that were flowing out of his eyes.

"Good morning, Pup," Cal whispered, starting to get up. "Feeling better?"

Gilbert hesistated, but finally he opened his maw and spoke. "Y-Yes... thank you..."

"Good, I'll go make us some breakfast," the tiger said drowsily, slowly climbing out of the bed and making his way out of the room.

Gilbert was alone in the room by himself again. The whole room was silent, except for his breathing, which was still barely audible. The winds from last night had died down, and many leaves were lying on top of the thick layer of snow that was probably at least a meter high.

Several minutes passed as Gilbert stared outside, closely examining each and every snowflake. Even though he has lived through so many winters, he never realized just how beautiful they were. Each flake reflected with the sunlight, shining brightly like a cluster of stars.

"C'mere Pup, breakfast is waiting for you." Cal called from the dining room, interrupting Gilbert's thoughts.

Reluctantly, Gilbert climbed out of the bed and stepped onto the ice-cold floor. The moment his footpaws came in contact with the wood, shivers ran up his legs to his spine, causing him to jump back onto the bed.

"Everything alright in there?" Cal asked, running back into the room to see Gilbert curled up on the bed, shivering, and trying to keep himself warm.

Gilbert nodded his head slowly as he hung his head, whimpering.

"Here, I'll help you out," Cal offered, scooping Gilbert up with his arms. "Let's go," he said, smiling warmly.

Gilbert kept his head hung down the whole journey through the house, however, he took small peeks through the corner of his eyes to see what the house looked like; he hadn't gone out of the small room that he had been living in since he first woke up in there, and was curious to see what the rest of the house looked like.

As they left the room, Gilbert in Cal's arms, there was a long hallway with three doorways, probably leading to different bedrooms. Many pictures were hung up on the walls; all of them had the big and muscular tiger and a leopard in them. The leopard was probably Cal's mate, but Gilbert hadn't seen him once since he arrived at the house.

When they finally reached the stairs and made their way down the steps, Gilbert found himself in the living room, which had light-blue colored walls. There was a large plasma screen television hung up on the wall to the left, and a red family sized couch at the opposite wall. A coffee table was positioned right in front of the couch, a portable phone and various little figurines placed on top of it. One of the figurines looked exactly like Fell; it had a grey-furred coat, emerald eyes, and was in a funny-looking pose. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Gilbert smiled to himself, hiding his face from Cal.

"Here we are," Cal said, setting Gilbert back down on the floor, but this time his footpaws touched carpeted floor.

The dining room had a table in the center of it, with an unlit candle on top of it, two chairs, and a cabinet off to the side. There was a small television on top of it, probably for the tiger to watch when he was eating by himself, and a collection of large stones of interesting shapes, and even colors.

"I'll go get the food," Cal called back over his shoulder, stepping through a doorway, into the kitchen.

Gilbert stood awkwardly by himself in the dining room, but then he caught the scent of eggs, toast, and some kind of meat, tempting him to take a peek into the kitchen, even though he would be eating it all very soon.

Unable to resist the scents, he advanced forward into the kitchen, where he saw Cal scooping some bacon from the frying pan and putting onto plates.

"Oh, hey Pup," Cal said, after hearing Gilbert walk into the kitchen. "Just give me a second, I'll be out with the food very soon."

Reluctantly, Gilbert stepped out of the kitchen, and back out into the dining room. Only a few seconds passed before Cal returned to the dining room too, except this time holding two plates with food on them.

"Here you go," he said, placing one of the plates down on the side Gilbert was closest to. Gilbert approached the table and took a seat on the padded-chair. Cal sat down on the opposite side of the table and started to eat.

Gilbert did nothing but watch the tiger as he stuffed the food down his throat, his plate almost half empty already.

"Is everything alright, Pup?" Cal asked, noticing that Gilbert didn't even pick up his fork yet.

"Y-Yeah, everything's alright, th-thanks..." Gilbert said, now staring down at his food. "My name's Gilbert."

"Gilbert, you say?" Cal said, smiling. "Great name."

Cal set his fork back down on the table and stuck his paw out to Gilbert.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said, chuckling.

Gilbert paused for a long moment and then shakily stuck his paw out too, shaking paws with Cal.

"Thanks, Cal..." Gilbert said more confidently now. "For everything."

"Hey, anytime... Gilbert" Cal said, still smiling. "I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it, but what happened that night, when I found you?" The emotional pain struck Gilbert again at the mention of that night. His heart started to hurt again, the intense pain eating away at him.

Gilbert looked up at Cal, staring directly into his golden eyes. The pain that Cal saw in the wolf's ruby-red eyes caused him to turn his head and advert his gaze. He felt ashamed of himself after asking that. The last thing he wanted was for the wolf to stop talking to him again.

There was a long pause between the two as none of them spoke, or moved. But finally, Gilbert spoke.

"I was with my best friend, Fell, and his family. We were going to watch a movie, but once we stepped out of the car, a cougar snatched his mom's purse, and I was stupid enough to chase him," Gilbert told Cal, hitting himself on the head a few times. "I... I thought I could catch him, and get the purse back, but I was wrong... the cougar had a gun, a-and... and..." it was starting to get difficult for Gilbert to speak again; he didn't want to keep reliving these memories. "Fell... he... he s-sacrif-ficed his life, for..." Gilbert let out a long sigh. "For me..."

"Oh, Gilbert, I-... I'm sorry," Cal said, feeling bad for Gilbert. He felt that the wolf didn't deserve that, especially at that young of an age.

Gilbert was clearly in a lot of pain again; tears were streaming from his tightly shut eyes and down his cheeks, yet again, and his jaw was clenched, probably to suppress the bruising pain in his chest.

Cal had no idea what to do. He desperately searched his mind for something to say, but nothing came to him. He had spent months, nearly a year, taking care of Gilbert, but he couldn't even say something to make him feel better. Cal had experienced something very like what Gilbert was feeling. Because of this fact, Cal started to hate himself. Why couldn't he say something?

"Gilbert..." Cal said, finally. "I... I know that you're in a lot of pain right now," Cal's eyes started to tear up, "but death, undeniably, is all just a p-part of life, like everything else. You can't let it take away all of your happiness, especially not who you are. Now I c-can't be one-hundred percent sure, but I think you're a very lively person... I can see it in your eyes."

Gilbert quickly opened his eyes and looked at Cal who, like Fell, had earlier noticed the flames burning in his ruby-red eyes.

"You-..." Gilbert whispered. "N-... Never mind."

Cal was confused now. Had he said something wrong?

"Look, Gilbert," Cal said as gently as he could. "Tomorrow I'll drive us back into the city, and we'll bring you back to Fell's family. Maybe they'll be able to tell us where he was buried. Does that sound alright to you?"

Gilbert didn't say anything, but nodded.

"Alright, Pup," Cal said, getting out of his chair and picking up both plates. "If you get hungry, just tell me." With that, Cal walked into the kitchen and set his empty plate into the sink, and Gilbert's plate, still untouched, into the refridgerator.

When Cal walked back into the dining room, Gilbert was no longer there. Cal made his way into the living room, searching for the wolf, but he wasn't there either.

"Gilbert?" Cal called through the whole house as he searched for him. He made his way up the stairs, heading towards Gilbert's room, but as he looked outside a window, he saw the wolf outside in the freezing cold, wearing nothing but a T-shirt and shorts. Quickly running back down the stairs, he grabbed a thick coat and burst outside.

"Gilbert!" Cal yelled his name. "What're you doing?"

Cal finally reached Gilbert after wading through the thick snow that was nearly at his chest level. The tiger's heart was racing as he threw the coat over the shivering wolf; he was afraid that Gilbert might catch a cold, or even a fever. Cal held Gilbert tightly in his arms and tried his best to keep him warm, but he too was freezing, since he didn't get a coat for himself.

For what seemed like several hours, the two of them stood together, holding onto each other for warmth. Cal, however, was starting to get colder and colder, but he continued to keep Gilbert warm. If he couldn't prevent the young wolf from getting sick, not to mention the fact that wasn't able to even comfort him, then what kind of guardian would he be?

Cal's thoughts were interrupted by a fistful of snow to his face. He let go of Gilbert and backed up, gasping for air.

"What was that!?" he exclaimed, opening his eyes to see Gilbert grinning.

The wolf didn't say a word, but just stood there, his paws behind his back.

"Oh, I get it," Cal said, starting to make a snowball with his paws, all of his fingers both numb and stiff. However, he was instantly hit in the face by another snowball that Gilbert was hiding behind his back.

"Ooohh, you're gonna get it!" Cal said, grinning. He picked up two fistfuls of snow and chased Gilbert. The two of them treaded through the snow, giggling and laughing at the same time, just enjoying themselves. Despite the fact that it was cold outside, they've never felt warmer in the inside; it truely was a summer in the winter.

Cal threw a large snowball through the air, finally hitting Gilbert, on his back, causing him to accidentally fall forward. The wolf opened his eyes to see the large silhouette of the tiger towering above him, holding a large ball of snow in his hands, ready to drop it on him. Gilbert acted quickly; he got to his feet and leaped onto Cal, causing them both to fall down into the snow, and roll over each other.

When they came to a stop, Cal was on top of Gilbert, keeping him pinned down. They were both giggling uncontrolably. After a long moment, they stopped laughing, and they stared into each others' eyes. Cal admired just how beautiful Gilbert's ruby-red eyes were; he couldn't look away from them.

Slowly, Gilbert started to lift his head up towards the tiger and put his lips on his cheeks. This took Cal aback a bit, but he kissed Gilbert's cheek too, even though he felt that it was wrong. Cal had never before felt what he was feeling for the wolf right now. He had always cared for his well-being and empathized him, but what he was feeling right now was more than that.

Cal slowly pulled away from Gilbert and stood up. "C'mon, Pup," he said, offering Gilbert his paw. "Let's go back inside."

Cal pulled Gilbert back up onto his feet and directed them back towards the house. When they got back inside, Cal set up a warm fire in the living room's fireplace, and the both of them lay down in front of it, cuddling with each other.

Cal gave Gilbert another kiss on the cheek and closed his eyes, letting them rest. Gilbert got comfortable under Cal's arms and closed his eyes too, slowly starting to drift off in his sleep.