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The creation of most problems wasn't something deliberate. Instead, it was often the lack of foresight in fixing one problem that most people created another, and in some cases, they created a problem that they would never be able to solve.

As the last of the garbage in the mythical dumpster that was Coyotebane was drained away by a myriad of different coyotes rolling in it, eating it and throwing it at each other, the powers that the dumpster held over the foolish canines began to wane, until some of the coyotes were able to climb up and out of the disgusting receptacle and free themselves. In the dead of an otherwise peaceful night, coyotes started to spread across the outskirts of Furope and look for other garbage cans to root around in, but there was one who wasn't satisfied with finding new trash to sniff.

Tama, the former king of coyotes and ruler of all of Yotenheim, wasn't going to be satisfied with the fact that his old army was freed. He didn't much care that the mystical dumpster was now just an ordinary, albeit fairly clean dumpster. He couldn't have been at all concerned with taking over Lionopolis and ruling Furope anymore, either, after the generous High King Nbowa granted him amnesty and allowed him to live in the courtyards near the castle.

His ire was drawn in a different direction, after the second annual "convention" was held. Much like the first, it was an unusual and haphazard gathering, but this time, certain people were allowed to stay in the rooms inside of the castle, alongside the Great Knights of Furope who otherwise inhabited it. Given his rich history with the castle and the people living within it, Tama was sure that he'd get to room in one of the knights' quarters for the first time ever, but on the first day of the convention, he was shocked to see a rather childish looking drawing upon the doors of each of the bedrooms in the castle, with a bright red circle and a cross through it, over a sad, pathetic looking coyote.

"...No coyotes allowed?" Tama could still remember asking himself that question, as he pulled one of the papers down and gazed upon it. The weak parchment wrinkled and crumpled in his trembling paws as he looked it over, and his fangs gritted together tightly as he tried to resist going on a rampage that very moment.

However, Tama was wiser than that, as he was the wisest of all of the coyotes. He kept his cool and bode his time, knowing that he could figure out who was responsible for the moment. He'd been embarrassed, as others in the Castle Lion pointed and laughed, watching the coyote leave the massive structure with his ears flat and his tail between his legs. It wasn't fair, but after the agreement that High King Nbowa made with him, Tama was sure that this wasn't his doing.

He had to figure out who was responsible, and when he did, nothing would stop him from claiming his revenge...

**

Some months had passed since the second annual convention, and a lot of things had changed around Furope. Some of it for the better, and of course, some of it was for the worse.

Perhaps the worst thing that could have happened, and certainly a gracious break that everyone saw coming was the fact that Huscoon The Stats Guy was released from his punishment early, in recognition of his years of good service to Lionopolis...despite the fact that he literally murdered someone in front of a massive crowd of people.

Sorry, Joshiah...seems like no one likes you. Thanks for the awesome, destiny shaping pen, though! Someone just paid me a bunch of money, so...I don't think that Huscoon is gonna get off the hook that easily.

Ooooh, shit. Was I supposed to put a spoiler alert there? I'm sorry. I'm not used to the whole fourth wall breaking thing...

...Anyway...Tragic as the loss of the Dirtscribe was, and for as long as some of his closest friends stood and mourned over his grave, Furope was truly a medieval kingdom, and people saw tragic ends at the hands of sinister people all of the time, so his death wasn't allowed to be anymore special than anyone elses. The thing that made it the most noteworthy was the one who caused it, and that person was already walking around Castle Lion again, acting like he was the cat's ass, sometimes in a quite literal sense.

Tama was happy that he didn't have to see it, but he knew that it was going on, and he simply wasn't going to stand for it. He wasn't sure that he could pull off his plan alone, but he believed that the justice system had failed him and his former acquaintance...and in an age where the word of a smelly lion was law, it was a dangerous prospect to try and take justice into your own hands.

Truth be told, however, Tama didn't have anything left to lose, and with the coyote army rebuilding in Yotenheim, he wasn't safe anywhere that he went. He'd likely face charges for his war crimes if he went back to his home country, and even if he'd been pardoned by High King Nbowa, it seemed that no one in the kingdom truly trusted him or respected him. He didn't know who he could turn to for help, but he knew from past experience that the Great Knights of Furope could be turned on each other, and if he had Huscoon The Stats Guy all to himself, he was sure that he could exact a proper revenge.

"I can't get the scepter back...they'd never trust me with it after I tried to take over the country," Tama thought to himself, as he relaxed in the rather exquisitely decorated courtyards of Lionopolis. "I need to find a new artifact...one that isn't going to arouse any kind of suspicion...damn it, where's Joshiah when you need him?"

He's dead.

"Oh, that's right. Thanks, voice in my head. You sound different these days."

I am different. Joshiah's dead.

"You've made your point."

Deeeeeeead. Spooky.

"Right. That means you're the new Arbiter, right? Does that mean you can tell me where I can find something to beat up Huscoon with? I kinda wanna pummel him for humiliating me and all of my kind with those signs."

Of course, at this point, no one was actually worried about any plans that Tama might come up with. He spent most of his days talking to himself in the courtyards like this, to the point that everyone had written him off as the town drunk. The hidden upside to this, however, was that he could work with total impunity, without anyone growing truly suspicious of his activities.

"Great. The voice in my head is totally useless, and there's no way that I can take Huscoon in a fight, one-on-one. I've gotta think of a better way to defeat him...no doubt, The Great Knights of Furope will be all over me if I'm not careful about this, but damn it, I deserve my revenge!"

What Tama might have lacked in strength, size, or fighting ability, he made up for in tenacity and pure desire for revenge. There was plenty of fuel on the fire, but Huscoon The Stats Guy was only digging himself a deeper grave each and every day, as he walked through the courtyard with his fellow knights. What he'd done beyond murdering Joshiah and putting an anti-coyote propaganda sign on the door was actually far worse...he'd committed an act so foul, so simply diabolical that it wasn't allowed to be recorded in the official documents of the Castle Lion!

There was one person who had a copy of the misdeed, however, and it was the driven coyote, Tama, who made his way out of town, knowing that there was at least one other artifact near his homeland of Yotenheim that could help him.

**

This writing stuff is kinda hard. I thought there would be more, other subplots to write about, so I put a couple asterisks up there, but there really isn't anything else going on in this story, so...uh...

Tama snuck his way out of Lionopolis that night, for some odd reason. He didn't have to sneak; no one was keeping an eye on him, and he didn't have any restrictions about where he could or couldn't go. He was just as free as any other citizen of Lionopolis, and attempting to sneak around would have just made people raise their brows, but he was able to escape the city limits undetected. In the dark guise of the evening, Tama was able to cross the fields that divided Lionopolis from the rest of Furope, back into the uncharted lands...the long, massive gap of landmark-less terrain that acted as a barrier between Lionopolis and the rest of the continent before Furope became a unified world.

It was in this place that many creatures still lurked around, looking for a place to call home. One of the downsides of uniting an entire continent and dissolving so many kingdoms was that some creatures lost their identity and felt that they had no place left to go in the world, even though there were plenty of valid options available for them. The wolves of the lupine kingdom were the first to feel this way, prompting Lykanos the Wolvenmurr to travel across the continent, only to be recruited by High King Nbowa instead of killing him (This happens all the time, you see.)

The arrangement didn't work for everyone, however, and Tama was one of those most opposed to the united continent, even if he'd actually benefited greatly from it of late. What Huscoon The Stats Guy did, however, was something that was far beyond forgiveness, and if it meant touching paws with a world far darker than even the one that he knew to get revenge, Tama was more than a willing vector for it.

He also wasn't the only one crossing the empty fields in search of revenge, that evening.

"If I can just find the mythical hat...I'm sure that I'll be more than powerful enough to exact my revenge on Huscoon," Tama muttered to himself, as he tried to stay quiet in crossing the mostly empty fields. "Surely, if High King Numbnuts and the rest of those Furopean losers are ignorant of my plans, nothing will stop me this time!"

As many people could infer, there was still a plethora of undiscovered, mythical items on the continent of Furope. Of course, two of the most powerful were already discovered, as High King Nbowa wielded the mighty Excalifur, and one of his knights, Lykanos the Wolvenmurr, held the lewd and somehow depraved Masamurr, which he'd crafted with the help of a dead hybrid.

There were some artifacts even greater than the swords, however, and at one point, Tama held onto one of them. It was a scepter that granted him control over the weak minds of the many coyotes of Yotenheim, one that could only be overwhelmed by a particularly trash-riddled dumpster, which, in this universe, also happens to be a mystical object of great power.

Seriously, you guys need to see the look on Tama's face when he finds out what the "mythical hat" is. It's gonna be hilarious.

"Are you still talking?"

Yes. Yes I am. I'm the new narrator. I talk about things.

"You never shut up, that's for sure. Are you trying to blow my cover or something?"

No one is looking for you. Literally no one cares that you're out walking around a giant field in the middle of the night.

"...Oh. Thanks for the tip."

Tama could never be sure why the voices in his head tormented him so, and it continued to be funny for me to make him think he was insane, so I chatted him up for some time as he wandered aimlessly about the uncharted fields. His frustration, both with the uncontrollable voices, and the fact that he couldn't find the object that he needed, were starting to mount when he finally found some company that might have been of use to him.

" Who goes there?"

A voice that felt familiar to Tama, and yet, somehow entirely different rang through his tall, thin ears and stopped him dead in his tracks. "I...I...uh...no one! No one goes there!"

" That's a ridiculous sounding name. State your business, No One!"

"That isn't funny."

" I'm not trying to be funny! I'm trying to do my job!"

"And your job is...?"

" Well, once upon a time, it was being a judge for numerous different competitions, but...this jerk-off hybrid stole my fabled striped shirt and began using it for himself! Now, I've been reduced to scaring people back to their villages so they don't find this awesome, mythical hat that I'm standing guard over."

The epic, booming nature of the voice couldn't hide the old profession of the mysterious creature, and Tama was quick to connect the dots when he heard about a striped uniform. "Wait a minute...Lan or Gren?"

"Ye-...no! No, that is not my name! That's two names, and neither of them are mine!"

"Dude, just come clean. It's Tama."

"Ooooh, okay. I'm not worried about impressing you," Lan or Gren admitted, causing Tama to quickly flatten his ears. "For a second, I thought you might be some wayward adventurer trying to come and steal this awesome fantasy item that I've been guarding."

Tama leaned his head to the side in confusion. "Aren't you part of some Mythical Characters Union or something stupid like that? Shouldn't your position and possessions be guaranteed?"

"They were...everything was great until the fire nation attacked."

"Wrong joke, Lan or Gren."

"Oh, right. Sorry. Everything was great, seriously, even after Joshiah kicked the bucket, but not too long after Huscoon the Stats Guy got off the hook for murder, he accosted me when I was visiting town and stole my black and white striped shirt! It completely robbed me of my authority!"

"So...you're telling me that wearing a silly looking shirt is what gave you the power to judge whether people were worthy of something or not?"

"Basically, yeah."

"But weren't you retired?"

"Retirement was boring. I decided to get back out there and show the mystical community that I still had something left in the tank...but now, I have to earn my deposit back for losing my uniform."

Tama shook his head at the thought. "A real shame, that is. How much is the deposit?"

"850,000 gold pieces. And I earn two...per week."

"Welp. Good luck with that!"

Tama was already walking in the other direction, trying to keep his jaw from dropping at the thought of paying such an overwhelming fine, when he felt a hoof tap him on the shoulder. "Wait! Don't you want to see if you're worthy to claim the mystical item in my possession? If you are, I get a bonus coin for the day!"

"Is it a hat that'll grant me the power I need to exact my revenge?"

"It happens to be exactly that. Small world, right?"

No, it's convenient writing.

"Shut up."

Lan or Gren can't hear you. It looks like you're talking to yourself again.

"Ignore him," Tama said, leaving Lan or Gren to raise a brow in confusion. "What sort of a test do I have to pass?"

"You must cross the burning fields of the acid bogs, make your way over to the deadly wilderness of Tigary, fight through the ranks of the greatest feline warriors you've ever known, steal the golden idol from the extremely possessive citizens of Ratfrica to the south, and make it back here with proof of all of your deeds... OR..."

"...Or?"

"Or, you must write a complete, three paragraph essay detailing to me in no less than 2,000 words why you're the one who's qualified to wield the object."

"...I take that option."

"Wise choice!" Lan or Gren agreed, as he handed Tama a piece of paper and a pencil. "You have thirty minutes, starti-

"Done."

"Well...that didn't take long," Lan or Gren commented, as Tama handed the piece of paper back over. Upon it was only one word, in bold, chicken-scratch writing: "HUSCOON."

"Hey, look at that! You're worthy after all! I knew you had it in you, Tama...here's the hat. Put it on, head back to Lionopolis, and...y'know...when you're done with him, if you happen to find yourself a striped shirt and want to let me have it for letting you through this test so easily...that would be just swell!"

Tama gave a quick shrug. "I mean...I don't really owe you anything, so...I'll think about it? Maybe?"

"Oh, come on! You handed me a piece of paper with a name on it!"

"Yes, and that's the person that you want revenge on, too, so isn't that reward enough?"

"Revenge is not worth 850,000 gold pieces!"

"Look, if I happen to find the uniform, I'll see what I can do. How do I make this magical hat thing go?"

Lan or Gren sighed and rested his face in his hoof. "You put it on your head like any other hat, and then, you can control it."

Before Tama could actually put the hat on his head, however, it came to life and jumped up, settling between his ears and spinning in a circle three times before it came to rest in a small ball.

"This thing is alive?!"

"Well, yeah. It's a cat...the mighty armor, Katacha!"

"You mean Kavacha? The legendary armor that was given to Karna that could resist heavenly weapons?"

"No...I mean Katacha, the helm that is actually a living cat and has all kinds of pun related powers."

I already regret the decision to take this pen from the dead hybrid. This is going to be terrible.

"How does it work, exactly?"

"I don't know! The guy who actually knew all of the rules of how these things worked got offed by an onion. It's up to you to figure it out, coyote! Now make haste for Castle Lion, and good luck in your totally justified revenge!"

With a quick poof of cheap, novelty smoke, Lan or Gren pretended to be gone, though Tama could easily see him running off into the distance and completely shattering the illusion that he could teleport away like a proper mystic.

Tama started back down the path toward Lionopolis, or at least, he blindly wandered back through the darkness toward it, as his eyes nearly crossed from trying to look up at the top of his head. "Okay, so...what do you do?"

"Oh, I'm Mani...I mean, Katacha, the Manick Hat! I have all kinds of mystical powers, if you just know how to ask me to use them!"

"Can you help me get revenge on a dirty hybrid?"

"That depends. What did he do?"

In silence, Tama shared the greatest betrayal that Huscoon The Stats Guy had ever committed, and Katacha The Manick Hat gasped in sheer horror as his ears absorbed the wretched information.

"For someone who would follow through with such a heinous act, no punishment is great enough, but we shall certainly try!"

Rubbing his paws together and grinning, with only the light of the moon to show his sharp, deadly fangs, Tama rubbed his paws together in delight and made his way back down the road.

**

"Mmmmm... Good morning, Castle Lion! How's everyone doing this fine day?"

Huscoon The Stats Guy was always early to rise, typically ahead of everyone else in the castle. For that reason, it was rare that anyone answered to him when he rose, but this particular morning, there was a more sinister reason that no one was able to answer him.

For starters, he wasn't in his bed.

"We're doing just wonderful, Huscoon," Tama replied to him, refusing to use his full title when he addressed him, as the rest of the Great Knights of Furope were wont to do. "And how are you on this simply spectacular day?"

"That's some pretty excessive hyperbole, coyote."

"Oh...we're just getting started on excessive, Huscoon. I think we're going to redefine excessive today, once we're all done with you."

"We're?"

Tama pointed upward at his living hat. Katacha the Manick Hat waved down with a paw and smiled before adjusting his tiny, adorable glasses. "Hello, Huscoon! I've been told you're an absolute monster, and that you need to undergo the kind of punishment that only someone of my abilities can provide!"

Huscoon rolled his eyes as he looked around. He was in the basement of Castle Lion, sitting in a big, empty stone room that was often used for throwing large and elaborate parties when the Furopean court had to get away from the commoners. "Are you sure that you two are really up to such a task?"

Of course, Huscoon The Stats Guy hadn't noticed that his paws were tied together behind his back at the moment, but before Tama could reply, he heard "I'm simply pawsitive that we're up to it!"

"...Did you just make a pun at him?"

"I sure did!"

"We're trying to be intimidating!"

"What could be more intimidating than when we turn him into a meowcro?"

"That's MICRO!"

Huscoon The Stats Guy was actually chuckling at all of the lame puns that were uttered by the enchanted cat hat, but it was foolish of him to cling to the humor that was being offered. He didn't know what kind of abilities the hat granted to Tama, and though no one else was aware of what had happened between the two only months earlier, that didn't mean he was going to be spared from a punishment fitting such a terrible offense.

"Well, actually, Atimist is the micro around here..."

"Not for long."

It wasn't Tama who made the statement, but Atimist The Strong But Very Small. "Uhm...Ati? When did you sneak in here?"

"I've been following you and yelling at you that I wanted to take part in your revenge the entire time!"

"Huh. I must not have heard you."

Atimist The Strong But Very Small groaned in frustration, but that was the curse of being so small of stature. He knew about the many abilities of Katacha The Manick Hat, however, and just hearing the possibility that someone else could be tiny, his eyes were lighting up with excitement.

"Apparently you didn't, but...now you know that I'd like to help!"

"I don't really need your help, though. I just need this guy," Tama explained, as he pointed up to his hat. The red stripes that coursed over an otherwise sandy-tan coat of fur glowed with an ethereal power as Katacha The Manick Hat tilted his glasses just a little bit, and bright, green beams leapt from his eyes, landing upon Huscoon The Stats Guy, who was in the middle of trying to run away in all of the confusion.

The sneaky, terrible hybrid made it as far as the door before his paw fell from the door knob. His entire form froze in place from the magical energies that surrounded it, and in a flash, he could no longer even reach the doorknob. He was barely able to reach the bottom edge of the wood that made up the door, and in literal instants, the entire thing was finished, because everyone knew that Huscoon The Stats Guy hated poof transformations, and this totally counted.

His voice was shriveled up and hilarious, his body was scarcely bigger than a baseball, and all it took was one magical blast from Katacha the Manick Hat to make it happen.

"You know, I'm sure there's some kind of joke that I could be making about how the mighty have fallen or something like that, but I'm not a stereotypical, stupid villain. I'm just gonna step on you now," Tama explained, as he took a long, lunging step forward and slammed his footpaw down, crushing Huscoon The Stats Guy under it with repeated steps. In the process, he covered the striped uniform in dirty paw prints, completely ruining the garment and assuring that Lan or Gren would never get his deposit back.

At the moment, Tama was far from caring. His mind was focused purely on bloody revenge as his footpaw came up, and upon the dirty, stone floor, Huscoon The Stats Guy was nearly a literal pancake, flattened into the harsh surface and groaning in pain.

"W...why...w-why, Tama...?" he asked, looking completely dazed as the cartoon violence left him vaguely in the shape of Tama's paws. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Why indeed, Huscoon? Why on earth would I be torturing you like this?" Tama continued the statement, too focused on his enjoyment as he gave Katacha the Manick Hat a quick tap. "Katacha, would you do the honors and fatten our little friend up a bit?"

Huscoon The Stats Guy looked up just in time to see another brilliant beam of green light showering upon his body. In a flash, he went from a flattened bag of broken bones to a fat, ballooned hybrid, about the size of a baseball. His arms and legs were completely swallowed up by the expanse of his tummy, and the uniform that continued trying to change size with him finally ripped and tore apart, leaving him completely nude, but in a completely acceptable and PG-13 way. (We have ratings to keep.)

"Atimist...would you mind doing the honors?"

Atimist The Strong But Very Small wasn't too much bigger than Huscoon The Stats Guy in his current form, but he was just big enough to be able to carry the dastardly hybrid and toss him up into the air. Huscoon The Stats Guy turned his head and widened his eyes as a paw came swiping through the air and smacked his bouncy body into the wall, and immediately, he bounced back, but Katacha the Manick Hat smacked him toward the wall again in an improvised game of handball.

Keeping score and grinning the entire time, Atimist The Strong But Very Small clapped and cheered, enjoying his own revenge, even if he never explained his motivation for wanting revenge on his fellow knight. Huscoon The Stats Guy was just trying to hold onto his lunch as he was repeatedly smacked about and thrown through the air, but the rubbery texture of his new body kept him from garnering any new wounds.

It all came to a jarring stop for the transformed hybrid when Tama suddenly caught him in a paw and squeezed him. Like a stress ball, Huscoon The Stats Guy's eyes popped out of his head. "All right, Huscoon...you wanna know what this is about?" Tama asked him, as he started climbing his way out of the basement of Castle Lion. Atimist The Strong But Very Small followed closely behind, as Tama walked out to the back yard of the castle and overlooked the massive fields and wide, sprawling forests that surrounded it.

"This isn't about the anti-coyote propaganda, or killing Joshiah, or anything like that...this, Huscoon, is what happens when you promise to share pizza with me at a convention, and NEVER follow through on it!"

"...Are you serio_ooooooooooous?!!_" Huscoon The Stats Guy called out, but his voice turned into a distant cry as Tama tossed him up in the air and batted him into the path of the rising sun. He flew for what looked to be miles, and in his current size in form, it would take Huscoon The Stats Guy literal weeks to make it back to the Castle Lion, if he ever made it back at all.

Clapping his paws together and letting out a long sigh of relief, Tama of Yotenheim smiled as brightly as he had in a long time. With the evil anger that possessed him now dispelled, his eyes looked a little brighter, and his step that much lighter as he made his way back through the Castle Lion and to the courtyard, to his home, long before anyone else in the castle knew that Huscoon The Stats Guy was gone.

**

Though people noticed the lack of his presence, no one ever actually went looking for Huscoon The Stats Guy. Feeling as free as he did from his actions, Tama of Yotenheim actually confessed to his crimes, but when he explained his motives, he wasn't punished for a single thing. Instead, High King Nbowa declared the day to be Pizza Day across all of Furope, and that everyone would be invited to share a slice, except for Huscoon The Stats guy, who was due a solid slap on the wrist when he finally did make it back.

In the midst of merriment and joy untold, covered in dirt, mysterious fluids and a number of other things that won't make the cut of a PG-13 rated story, Huscoon the Tiny Stats Guy rolled into Castle Lion, still inflated from the powerful spells that were cast on him the month before.

"Huscoon, my dearest knight! You have returned to us!" High King Nbowa declared through a mouthful of delicious pepperoni. "We were all worried sick about you!"

Furries were dancing across the open grand room of Castle Lion to a tune that sounded like painful irony to Huscoon The Tiny Stats Guy. "...Y-yeah...sure looks like you were. I'm sorry for my leave of absence, my liege. I ran into some interesting issues that I could run calculations for."

"We've heard all about it," High King Nbowa explained, "And you have nothing to apologize for! In fact, we have a new promotion and title for you!"

Despite all of the horrors he'd seen on his way back to the castle, and the even worse things he had to do to get there, Huscoon The Tiny Stats Guy immediately perked up. "That's so generous of you, High King! What new promotion am I charged with?"

Tama of Yotenheim was watching closely from the crowd, grinning like a jester as High King Nbowa drew the Excalifur and carefully pointed it at Huscoon The Tiny Stats Guy. "I hereby dub thee Huscoon, Official Statistician of eSports!"

"...S...Sire...is this a joke?"

"It's not joke! It's a promotion of the highest honor! You'll be tasked with keeping the stats of all kinds of exciting computer sports like Counter Strike, League of Legends and Overwatch! We might even let you do commentary for a few of them!"

A more backhanded punishment did not exist in all of the lands of Furope, and Huscoon The eSports Statistician flopped over onto his tummy and tried not to cry as Tama of Yotenheim knelt down next to him.

"It was my suggestion, too. In your absence, I was made an official advisor to the king...we agreed this would be the perfect punis...I mean, position for you to take in the growing kingdom of Lionopolis!"

Huscoon The eSports Statistician (man, that's got a nice ring to it,) could make no real reply as disbelief completely shook his mind. Tama's revenge was complete, and he took another bite of the slice of pizza in his paw as he grinned over the rotund hybrid, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'd learned a lesson.

"Next time, Huscoon...just share the fucking pizza with me."