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A Story for Hayley

By: Jenny Harlow

Hunter lay in bed, his eyes shut in sleep. He found himself in a state of rising and falling in and out of deep sleep. Occasionally he felt himself gagging from the tube in his throat. He could hear Tim and Bridget talking distantly. He would feel Tim's hand brush over his head sometimes, yet he wasn't quite ready to wake up yet. Everything felt warm and heavy, making it seem impossible to actually open his eyes. It was obviously morning, as the smell of eggs passed his nose. Eventually his eyes came open, and he made a quiet gurgling noise to get Tim's attention.The husky walked over to the wolf and took his hand. He bent down and planted a kiss on Hunter's ear. "Hey babe," He smiled down at the wolf. "I'll let Terry know you're awake, then we'll get the tube clear, take your sugar, and get you some breakfast. Sound good?" Hunter made another noise as he nodded his head. Tim stroked his hair with his free hand. "Okay. Don't try to talk a lot, especially while the tube's in there. It'll hurt your throat more." Tim just smiled at him, and the wolf nodded. "Good, I've gotta run to the nurse's station really quickly, and get her to come help." Hunter raised a hand and pointed at Tim, "I can't by myself, I'd get in trouble. Policies and such." Hunter just nodded, Tim kissed his hand and let it go. Hunter attempted to smile despite the tube in his mouth. Tim said something under Hunter's hearing to Bridget, she just nodded, then Tim went out the door. Hunter lay patiently on the bed, not really able to do anything else. He stared at the ceiling and tried to find a comfortable position for his tongue around the tube. He was quickly growing tired of the constant plasticy-rubber taste. Finally the grinning face of a mouse appeared above his.

"Hello there, glad to see you're finally awake. Tim's worried about your sugar, says you haven't eaten much since yesterday." The mouse said happily, as she gently removed the breathing tube. Hunter coughed, the mouse rolled him gently onto his side with Tim's help. "Now that that's out of the way, why don't I see about getting you some breakfast while Tim checks your sugar? Nothing too strenuous, just some oatmeal and toast, maybe some apple juice?" Hunter nodded, a large smile on his face. He started to try and talk, but no sound came out. His throat was sore, but it wasn't horrible. Finally he just sighed, looking at his husky with a frown on his face.

Tim gently ran his fingers up and down the wolf's throat, checking for any swelling or bumps. Hunter gasped at one point, when he grazed a particularly sore area. Tim patted his shoulder apologetically. "Sorry, are you breathing okay?" Hunter nodded as he sat up slightly, he leaned his head onto Tim's chest. He pulled his phone off the small table next to him.

"You aren't working today?" He texted.

"Given the events of the past few days? I have until Monday off. Dr. Noble insisted. She said I'd be in here too often with you two." Bridget had curled back up on the bed, the medicines she was being given upsetting her stomach slightly. Tim momentarily shifted to stroke her back gently. The ocelot just curled further up, scooching back into Tim's hand. She let out a soft, quiet sigh. She had woken up several times the night before, having to throw up before she could return to sleep. On top of which doctors and nurses were constantly coming in to check up on both of their patients. Tim sat down next to the bed, his head in his palm. "I talked to your job on your behalf, and let them know you weren't coming in this weekend. I didn't go into too much detail, but I did tell them that you had been assaulted and are recovering. They wish you well and aren't giving you any points for this absence." The wolf just smiled, he raised the back of the bed up to meet his back. As he kept feeling himself almost falling backwards. Hunter reached his hand off the side of the bed and took Tim's free hand. Tim kissed it softly. "You're welcome." He said with a smile.

Hunter's breakfast arrived not much later. He wasn't really feeling hungry, but he made himself ready to eat. Terry set the tray of oatmeal and juice in front of him. The oatmeal had a small whirl of cinnamon on top, and at least three different berries mixed in. "Your sugar was really low." Terry said, as she idly unfolded his napkin. "We'll take it again after you've eaten, but it was concerning." The cat smiled at him as she turned to take care of Bridget.

Tim watched Hunter with a small smile on his face, he wanted to make sure he wasn't having any difficulty getting food up and into his mouth. His hands were slightly shaky, but he managed. He ate more rapidly than he normally did, feeling quite hungry as he actually tasted the first bite. He cleared the bowl and laid back slightly, sipping his juice. He had a small smile on his face, despite the fact that his eyes were so heavily lidded. He finished the small cup and set it back on the tray, passing the whole thing to Tim. "You enjoyed that huh?" Tim said with smile, he set the tray on the small table in the room. He looked back at the wolf. Hunter looked as if he were desperately trying to keep his eyes open. "Hunter, if you're tired there's no reason you can't go back to sleep. You're injured, you're recovering, let yourself rest." Hunter just sighed, laid the bed back down and rolled over onto his side, facing Tim's chair. The husky sat next to the bed, his head leaned onto the side, staring up into those purple eyes. He stuck his tongue out and made Hunter grin as he was closing his eyes.

Hunter didn't know how long he had been asleep for, yet he was suddenly jolted. He found himself, eyes open, sitting up in bed, he looked around feeling disoriented. He was cold, despite the blankets. Tim and Bridget were nowhere around, and the air was the pale shade of predawn despite it being well past ten in the morning. The wolf sighed, he figured he had overcome these dreams. That the love Tim gave him provided him a shield. The shadow slipped quietly out from under the bed, something felt wrong. This wasn't the normal shadow, it was more distorted, its limbs in comical proportions. It spoke with Jackie's voice. "You thought you had gotten rid of me?" It spat. "No, I'm afraid... I live in here." It said, stroking Hunter's hair before touching the back of his head. "It doesn't matter that you have some little trinket. You think that's enough to drive me out?"

Hunter didn't whimper, or cry out, instead he sat there with a blank stare on his face. "It doesn't matter. Tim loves me, there's nothing you can do to make me think otherwise."

"I don't give a damn about that stupid dog anymore Hayley..." The shadow said, its face swinging in front of Hunter's. "I want something... I want to watch you squirm." The distorted body shifted onto the bed, Hunter could feel the cold enveloping his legs and rising into his stomach. "I want to watch you suffer, and struggle, and writhe knowing there's nothing you can do to stop me!" The shadow's arms flailed out knocking Hunter backwards. It sat atop his chest, misshapen hands closing around his throat. Only now did Hunter feel fear gripping him. He was keenly aware of the fact that he couldn't breathe.

Outside of his dream, Tim was woken by Hunter's wrist hitting his nose. The wolf was struggling, he made gagging sounds as he kicked and flailed in the bed. "Oh no..." Tim thought aloud as he stood up. They hadn't had a chance to replace his breathing assistance. His swollen throat had cut off his ability to breathe in his sleep. Tim hit the emergency call button as he took Hunter's hand, unable to do much else without the proper equipment. Finally, Hunter stopped moving, his head lolled to the side, tongue protruding slightly above his lower teeth. Tim hopped up straddling Hunter as he placed his head against the wolf's chest. It was no longer rising and falling, Hunter's heart was no longer beating. Tim placed his hands on Hunter's chest, letting out a frustrated growl. "Goddamit Hunter, don't do this to me!" Bridget woke up, now noticing the beeping alarms in the room, she rolled over and her eyes widened as she saw what was happening. There was nothing she could do but watch.

In Hunter's dream he felt the cold growing worse, his mind was slowing down, and his ability to move was becoming diminished. He heard shouting, he wasn't sure what it was, but it sounded so familiar. As Hunter gazed up at the shadow, he saw a second figure appear behind it. It was Tim, dressed in his scrubs. Hunter wasn't exactly sure what was happening anymore, yet he dismissed it as a sign of his failing mind. Tim drug the shadow to the floor. The husky seemed larger than normal, he beat the shadow in the chest. Hunter noted that whenever Tim struck the shadow he could feel it in his own chest, he felt himself gasp. After several blows the shadow seemed disabled, it writhed on the floor yet it didn't stand back up. Tim walked over to the bed, he sat atop Hunter. The wolf felt the pleasant heat of his partner radiating into his own body. Tim leaned down, he kissed the wolf on the lips. Hunter felt his chest rising and his heart fluttering slightly. Tim moved his hands up Hunter's front, resting them in the center of his ribs. Hunter would gasp occasionally, still feeling the almost painful pressure on his chest. He wanted to beg Tim to stop, but he heard Tim's voice distantly telling him to fight it, and to come back. Finally the pressure stopped, Tim raised Hunter's hand to his lips and gently kissed it.

Outside the dream Tim leaned his head down, lowering Hunter's hand from his lips and placing it over the wolf's chest. Hunter hadn't responded to any of the revival efforts. Tim didn't know what else to do at this point, he bent down carefully and planted a soft kiss between Hunter's closed eyes. He got off the bed, his knees dropping him to the floor, Bridget could hear him vomiting. She stood up and crossed over to him, sitting on the floor and rubbing his back gently. The husky stood up, and held Hunter's hand, small and limp in his own. He focused on the small green and silver ring, tears welling in his eyes. He kissed his hand twice, having a hard time coming to terms with the idea that he would never feel it grip his again, or see those purple eyes shining so brightly and showing him that beautiful soul inside. The wolf made a small coughing sound around the replaced tube. This was followed by a tiny sounding, distressed whimper. Tim's ears flipped up, still staring at the held hand. The fingers moved, uncoordinatedly at first, but finally they worked together to take a hold of the husky's hand. Tim's shoulders shook as he cried harder. Hunter had come back to him. He wasn't awake but he was in there, and that's all that mattered to Tim at the moment. Bridget hugged Hunter gently, tucking her head under the wolf's chin. She went back to her bed, reaching her arm out to rest her hand flat on Tim's shoulder.

In his dream, Tim helped Hunter come to his feet. The wolf stood up on his toes as the husky bent down to kiss him. Hunter looked over at the shadow, its shape was becoming more human and soft. He bent down to kneel over the shadow, he picked it up in his arms. "Where are you taking me." The shadow said, for once it sounded afraid.

"On a tour before you go. You seem to know so much about me, yet for a part of my own mind, you've missed a lot." Hunter turned, looking to the door of the hospital room. Tim smiled as he opened it happily for the wolf. Hunter kissed him one last time on the way out. "The first part you're going to remember, because I need to remember it, I need to show you and myself where I've come from."

Hunter carried the shadow down a hallway, it was becoming brighter and sunnier, until finally it ended in a park.

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Hayley sat on a swing in the middle of a small park. She was about six, wearing her small pink jacket, faded butterfly t-shirt and a little pair of jeans with black shoes, her hair was back in a ponytail, she held the two halves of her broken glasses frames in her hands as she stared forlornly at them with the one cracked lens. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her, at first she struggled, but then she felt the familiar comfort of her sister's embrace. Jackie knew where Hayley liked to go when she was upset. "What's the matter Baby Sis?" Jackie put her head atop Hayley's. Jackie was ten, she had a green coat on, a larger pair of jeans and white and pink shoes. She could see the broken glasses in the little wolf's hands. Jackie held her hand out, hesitantly Hayley passed the broken frames to her sister

"I was at school, we were in gym. It wasn't my fault, this one kid kept hitting me in the.face with a basketball and they just-" Hayley started crying. "Dad's going to belt me again isn't he." This wasn't the first pair of glasses Hayley had break on her, nor would it be the last. Hayley's dad had made her take her shirt and pants off so that she was standing in her underwear and hit her as hard as he could with a belt the last times a pair had broken, a couple of the blows sent the wolf to the ground.

"No." Jackie said, her eyes closing. She took a deep breath in, "No I'll tell Mom and Dad I broke them, that I was pushing you on the swings. You handed me your glasses to hold, and I sat down with them in my pocket." It was a flimsy story she knew, but the added lie would be enough extra to shift the focus completely off of Hayley. Jackie kissed her sister on the cheek and pulled the swing back slightly. "Well it won't be completely a lie." Jackie pushed Hayley forward the little wolf giggled happily as her sister pushed her higher and higher. Jackie was laughing too, simply happy to see her little sister smiling. When they got home the sun was just setting. Jackie let them both in with her key, and hurried Hayley off to her room. What Jackie hadn't seen was that Hayley didn't stay. She waited a couple seconds before sneaking back out and cracking the door to her dad's office slightly.

Jackie stood holding the broken frames in her hands, her voice was shaking with nervousness. The larger brown wolf stood up from his office chair. "Turn around Jackie." He said quietly. She obeyed, swallowing hard. "You know what else to do." With a small snivel Jackie put her hands under the edge of her shirt. The belt cracked as it hit her in the center of the back. "You dumb bitch, just hurry up, I'll give you something to cry about." Hayley watched as Jackie hurried to strip down to her underwear. She held her arms with her hands as she braced. The belt came five times in quick succession, Jackie would jump but prevented herself from crying out. It would only make her situation worse. Hayley ran as she saw her dad turning around, grabbing Jackie by the loose skin on the back of her neck. He heard her door slam, and the bolt lock. She waited several minutes before she opened the door to her room. She stood on her toes and unlocked Jackie's door, opening it quietly.

She walked into the darkened room, hearing the quiet crying coming from Jackie's bed. Hayley could see that her sister was faced away from her, she slowly lifted the blankets and slid under. She wrapped her arms around Jackie, the older wolf whimpered slightly. She rolled over and pulled Hayley into her arms. "I'm sorry." Hayley said, placing her head under Jackie's chin. "I'm really sorry Jackie."

"Hey don't be... I wasn't letting him get a hold of you for something you didn't even do." The two wolves just laid under the blankets crying for a little while, eventually Hayley had to sneak back into her room before her mom came to check on them for the night.

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Hunter smiled at the memory and the one of the morning after after, of the two of them watching cartoons, eating the french toast Jackie had fixed for them. The older wolf setting her feet on the younger's lap. Hunter shook his head. "She still does that." He said, in a bittersweet tone. The shadow was even softer now. "Do you see why I wanted to reconcile with Jackie, why I was worried I couldn't? I don't really care about Mom or Dad, but... Jackie was there for me when no one else was. She was and is my big sister, and I just hope that part of her is still in there."

The shadow didn't say anything at first, it seemed lost, as if it was in unfamiliar territory. Finally it gathered itself. "Where... Where are you taking me now?" It said, trying to look ahead.

"The part you're oh so familiar with, the part that you've brought up in my dreams for the past two years."

Hunter walked into a bathroom off the side of the corridor, the light was the pale blue of a winter day.

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Hayley stood in front of the mirror, the door closed but not locked, as there was no lock on the door. She had barred it as best she could. She stood on the footstool, even though she was twelve, she was still short enough to have difficulty seeing her chest in the mirror. She had taken her pink and white stripe shirt off, setting it on the towel rack. She looked at her chest and her stomach in the mirror. She took her hands and gently pressed back into the developing curves, every day they seemed to be getting more obvious to her. With a sigh she took down the roll of brown bandages that she had hidden, and started to go through the memorized motions of the past few months. She got three wraps in, when the door opened with a loud clunk. "Hayley hurry up, I've got to-" Jackie tripped over the failed barricade and landed hard on her knee. "Hayley what the heck are you doing?" The older sister was looking down at her knee, rubbing it. When she looked up Hayley was desperately attempting to remove and conceal the bandages. Jackie tried to grab them. "What are you doing?"

"It's nothing, I'm sorry just let me get back to my room."

"Hayley let me see what you've got." Jackie attempted to grab the bandages from her sister, yet ended up knocking Hayley to the floor, face down. She bent Hayley's arm back, trying to take them away from her, Hayley rolled and kicked on the floor. Jackie got frustrated, she stomped down on Hayley's back, winding the white wolf. She lay on the ground wheezing, yet she still wouldn't let go. "Let me see!" Jackie stomped down again. There was a loud crack from Hayley's shoulder, and a cry of pain. Jackie stomped down one last time and Hayley let go, her arm falling limply to the floor. "Are these ace bandages?" Jackie said, letting the roll unfold. Hayley was crying on the floor, not speaking. Jackie threw the roll at her face. "What were you doing with these, why were they around your chest? Hayley I want to help you but only if you stop being so weird and tell me what the hell's going on."

"I've been using them to make my..." Hayley sobbed. "Chest flatter."

"Why?" Jackie said, kneeling next to her sister. "Why?"

"I don't know..."

"That's it, I've tried to understand, I tried to help, but you clearly don't want me to. I'm not taking the punishment for this Hayley. Whatever happens, you did it to yourself." Jackie made a frustrated grunt as she stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Hayley just pulled her legs up to her chest with her left arm and lay on the floor. The bathroom faded, it was replaced by a hospital room.

Hayley lay in the bed, a doctor feeling her ribs, Hayley shirtless so that she could see clearly. The doctor had a rather serious look on her face. The jaguar looked Hayley in the eyes, "How long have you been binding?"

"Binding?"

"Wrapping your chest with the bandages. How long have you been doing that?"

"My birthday was back in May. I took the twenty my grandmother gave me and saved it until I had a chance to buy some. Without getting caught."

"Your family wouldn't support your transition?" The doctor said, sitting on the stool next to the bed.

"My what?"

"Your transition, binding your chest is often a sign of some gender discomfort. You'd rather be male even though your body is female. Are you transgender?" The doctor asked, looking concerned.

Hayley blinked and laid her head back on the pillow for a second. She thought about it, how often she had pictured herself as another one of the guys, how often that her body felt weird and alien. Even the name Hayley didn't seem right to her. Now she had a name for this feeling. "I don't know." The doctor smiled softly, patting the wolf on the head.

"You've got plenty of time to figure it out, it isn't a decision you have to make just yet. In the meantime, give your body a break. Don't use the ace bandages anymore, especially if they cause you to pass out."

Jackie had told the doctor a story about Hayley passing out in the bathroom, that she had found her with the bandages wrapped around her ribs. Hayley was too scared to deny it, even with her family outside the room. Jackie said she had hit her back on the tub, and that was how she dislocated her shoulder. Hayley just sat staring up at the ceiling, her sister's betrayal confused her badly. She looked out at the sky, having to stay here overnight. What Hayley didn't know, was that at that moment, their Mother was taking the bolt of of Jackie's door, as a reward for 'helping' her sister.

There was a fading again, Hayley now lay in bed, propping herself up as best she could with her pillows. She heard the bolt opening on the other side of the door, and she turned her attention to it. Jackie stepped inside, she set a tray down on Hayley's desk. "Can you bring that a little closer?" Hayley said, looking at the steaming tray on the other side of the room. It was mimus patties with rice and broccoli, one of her favorite meals.

"It's right here." Jackie said, motioning with her hand as she walked out the door.

Hayley let out a painful sigh, she attempted to ease herself out of her bed, she whimpered slightly as she crossed the floor and grabbed the tray. She brought the food back to her bed with her, at least Jackie had brought her a soda despite it being warm. She settled back into the blankets, picking up the tray. She didn't have a TV in her room, nor was there a TV in the house. The closest thing was their dad's computer. So Hayley sat quietly, eating her dinner, despite the pain she was enjoying the meal. She finished the food slowly, not having much other pleasure right now. Finally she cracked open the soda. Again she drank it sip by sip. After the can was empty, she lay down and pulled the blanket up, closing her eyes. She had little else to do but eat, sleep or read. Finally she woke up, she crossed her knees together as she felt spasms run through her bladder. "Jackie!" She called, there was no response. Her sister's room was directly next to hers. "Jackie I need help!" Hayley hung her head low. "Please Jackie, I really need you!" She called. Finally she heard the bolt unlatching again, Jackie came around the corner, her eyes half-lidded as she stared at her younger sibling.

"What?"

"I've got to go to the bathroom..." Hayley said awkwardly.

With a sigh, Jackie walked over to the bed, holding her arm out. The smaller wolf wrapped her arm around Jackie and slowly stood up from the bed. For a second Hayley could feel the sister she used to know. Jackie even quietly muttered "Easy now, easy."

Hayley was really confused as she sat on the toilet, Jackie pulling her pants down a little roughly. "Why are you so mad at me? Do you still care about me?"

Jackie turned away from Hayley. "It's four in the morning. I've got class in three hours. So HURRY UP!" Jackie said angrily.

"I just don't get it... I miss you Jackie."

"Hurry the fuck up so I can get back to sleep. If you don't finish soon I'll take you back to bed and let you deal with it all there."

"I'm trying Jackie... I'm sorry I woke you up."

"JUST SHUT UP! OKAY!? SHUT UP AND HURRY UP!" Jackie was literally screaming in the smaller wolf's face. She saw Hayley's face shift. "Cry and I'll leave you here." The older sister said, turning away again. "Finish up."

This continued for a while,Jackie getting worse and worse. Finally, Hayley gave up and called her mother into the room. "Mom..." Hayley said, looking up with tears in her eyes. "I need help." Hayley had virtually stopped eating, it wasn't worth the painful coughing and spasming that went along with attempting to retrieve the food that Jackie was placing further and further away from her.

"Isn't Jackie helping you sweetheart?" Hayley's mother looked a lot like her.

"Not really... She puts my food where I can't reach it easily, she takes me to the bathroom and leaves me there if I'm not moving fast enough." Hayley reared up, "I hurt so bad and she's being so evil."

"Hayley you wouldn't hurt so bad if you hadn't put yourself into this position to begin with." Mrs. Greyson shook her head. "Look, I'll talk with Jackie and see if she'll be nicer to you, okay?"

"I didn't put myself in this position!" Hayley finally snapped, clutching her her ribs after raising her voice. "Jackie pushed me to the ground and stomped on my chest until I gave up."

Without saying anything, Mrs. Greyson stood up and left the room. Hayley called after her several times but her mom didn't turn around. Her dad walked into the room. "Tell me what you just told your mother."

"Jackie put me in the emergency room, it wasn't the bandages. Jackie pushed me and kept stomping me."

"Stand up Hayley." Her dad said quietly. With a lot of pain, Hayley got to her feet, "Don't talk but look me in the eye." Hayley met her dad's eyes. "Did your sister hurt you?" Hayley just nodded. She barely saw the back of his hand coming in her peripheral vision. She hit the ground with a grunt, falling side first on the wood floor. She lay there for a second unable to catch her breath. "You should appreciate any help your sister is giving you. I don't know what sort of sick and perverted thing you were doing but it certainly isn't her fault." He grabbed Hayley's hair and lifted her face, she cried out. "You are the only one to blame here. So buck up and deal with it." He let her head drop. It made a muted thump. She stood and walked over to the dresser, taking the small bottle of pills and pouring several into her hand. Hunter watched yet lost count of how many she was taking.

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Once more Hunter began to travel, the room around him fading as Hayley lie crying on the floor. "The next part is probably where you entered my life. You definitely know this part." The shadow was getting more defined, yet it wasn't as dark.

"How much more of this will you put me through." It said, it tried to pass for bored, yet it was obviously terrified.

"Not much more to go before you leave."

The shadow tried to laugh but it wasn't booming and powerful, it was small and hollow. They stood within Hayley's house once more. This time it was green and lush outside instead of bleak and wintery. The air felt hot, even if it was only fiction. Hunter stood next to Hayley for a moment. She seemed so much smaller than him in so many ways. It was for him to believe they were once the same person. He let the scene play out in front of him.

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Hayley was walking out the door to catch the bus, she was sixteen now, very close to seventeen. As she was walking, Jackie grabbed the rib band of her bra and held it as tightly as she could, pulling Hayley back by it. The air was filled with the sound of popping seams. "What are you doing?" Hayley cried out, trying to grab her sister's hands.

"Just making sure you were wearing that and nothing else. No bandages or anything." Hayley had tried to bind a couple more times, yet she had been busted several times by her sister doing exactly what she was now. She let the band snap back against Hayley, causing the smaller wolf to grunt agitatedly. She checked her bra immediately for holes. The last several times Jackie had ripped one of them their dad had belted Hayley.

"I just want to get to school, can you leave me alone?" Hayley said. Jackie stepped aside, bowing a mocking bow as she let Hayley travel to the bus stop.

He took of the mask of being Hayley and sat down next to one of his few friends. "Hey dude what's up?" She was a cat, in the same grade and several of the same classes as Hunter. As he had decided to call himself. Her name was Lily. Occasionally Hunter still wondered what happened to her. She just disappeared out of class one day and never came back. As the bus drove on the two chatted, Hunter enjoying the little experience of being himself. "So Hunter, any plans for after school today?" The cat said with a small grin.

"Not really, more than likely I'll just go home, do my homework, read and sleep. That's pretty much what I always do."

"Mmm, you could come to the park with me, we could get some ice cream." Much like Hunter, Lily never seemed to want to go home. At least not right away. Hunter momentarily slipped into the bathroom to bind himself, while Lily watched the door. He came out later and the two walked down the hall together .

Hunter was wearing the outfit he considered least offensive. It was a blue and white striped shirt and blue jeans. The outfit that made him feel least like a girl. He had also gotten a shorter hair cut that could go either way. The older Hunter watched the slightly smaller version of himself go about his life. "This is the day. I started here because I wanted to remember some things. Like the fact that despite my parents, I became my own person and was writing my own story. I thought I was brave, but that's what ended up getting me." Hunter shook his head and the memory skipped forward.

Hunter got home, his mom was waiting for him. He had managed to pull the guise of Hayley back on. "What is it mom?" Hunter said, staring at his parent. The look on her face told him something bad was happening.

Mrs. Greyson indicated Hunter's room, and the smaller wolf obeyed. He walked in and sat on the bed, his mother walked in and shut the door behind her. "I got a call today. From Mr. Skinner, your art teacher."

"What's the matter? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, he just called to tell Hunter that his wallet fell out in the classroom." Hunter's expression went wide, though he tried to conceal it. "I told him I don't know a Hunter Greyson, to which he replied, Oh I meant Hayley."

"Mom I can explain."

"I checked with the school and they said they don't even have a Hunter Greyson there, that it couldn't have been a mistaken identity."

"Mom... I'm Hunter." He said, pulling his knees up to his chest. "I'm not Hayley, not anymore."

"What do you mean?" His mother was literally glaring at him now.

"I mean... I don't want to be... I'm a... I'm a guy..." Hunter said, lowering his head.

"What made you feel this way? Was it something someone said?"

"No... It's just, who I am."

"We'll take you to someone, a specialist, they'll fix it for you Hayley."

"I don't want it fixed Mom, I don't even know if it can be. I'm just not Hayley anymore."

His mother was quiet for a minute. Finally she said, in a barely audible voice, "If you aren't Hayley anymore then you're not living under this roof anymore."

"Mom... Please..."

"No." She looked him in the eye. "I'm no mother to a... a pervert who calls herself Hunter and binds her chest. God knows what else you're into. What gets you off."

"It's not like that... That's not who I am. I just-"

"Harold!" Hunter's dad came into the room. "Get this pervert out of our house."

Hunter's dad lifted him bodily off his bed, kicking and screaming and begging. He drug Hunter to the front door. "Please, just let me get my stuff! I don't have much! Just a couple books, please don't do this!" Jackie watched all of this from behind, her neutral expression was read as one of contempt or uncaring. Instead it was close to caring too much.

He was taken to the curb "Like the rest of the garbage." His dad said,. The older wolf dropped the younger one on his tail, he attempted to run back in but was grabbed by the loose skin and hauled back again. This time he just laid on the curb in the hot sun.

He went to class a few times after that, before the semester ended. He failed most of his classes, having no safe place to do his classwork, or enough food to eat. Over time his bandages wore out, his hair grew longer than he'd wanted, and he felt miserable.

The older Hunter looked down at the shadow. "You and I both know where this goes, where I end up, everything that happens." Hunter shrugged his shoulders. "It's not something that I really feel like I have to relive."

He carried the shadow forward again, "That was the dark part of my life, the part that nearly broke me." He continued walking. He saw the nearly skeletal version of himself sitting up in bed and staring out the window, a small smile on his face. "The part where it was nearly all over, if one soul hadn't found me." He watched Tim walk through the door, smiling at the past version of the wolf, he had a coat pulled on over his scrubs. Rain patted gently outside the window. The wolf in the bed returned the smile. Tim set a bag of clothes down, hugged him gently and then walked back out. It wasn't a long visit, but Hunter remembered the warm feeling he had experienced that night.

Hunter kept walking, the shadow tightly in his arms it was still lightening. "Where are we going now?"

"I've reminded myself where I came from, now I feel like reminding myself where I'm going. Everything that's pulling to get me there."

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They stopped in a dining room, there were four people sitting around the table. Tim's mom, his dad, and his older sister and younger brother. They were all waiting, despite the fact that dinner was set on the table. Tim's mom keeping an eye on the front door. "They shouldn't be much longer, Tim said they were almost at our street." It was December twenty third, two days before Tim's birthday, yet they were celebrating tonight.

Tim's brother leaned back in his chair, his eyes off the food. "I hope they are, I'm starving."

The door opened, Tim stepped inside, Hunter leaning against him. Partly from fear, and partly from his difficulty walking. The wolf carried his cane in the hand not wrapped around Tim's waist. The husky carefully helped the smaller canine over to the table and pulled a chair out for him. Hunter sat down gratefully, smiling as Tim moved to kiss him on the lips. "Mom and Dad you know. Sarah, Jason, I'd like you all to meet Hunter. Hunter, these are my siblings."

Hunter looked up from the table and smiled shyly. He wasn't exactly sure how to handle his current situation. His hair was trimmed down to where he liked it, he was wearing his binder, and a hoodie above his shirt. "Hello..." He finally managed.

"Ahh he's so cute!" Sarah said, she rose up carefully and held her arms open in front of the wolf. He looked her up and down for a second, looked sideways at Tim, then accepted the hug. "I'm jealous, if I'm being quite honest." She smiled as she let go of the wolf.

"Th-thank you." Hunter said quietly. She reached to rub his hair, her face sinking slightly when he flinched away for a second. He shifted his eyes slightly then leaned back forward.

"I'm sorry, he's got some stuff to work out." Tim said, rubbing Hunter's back. Hunter looked a little scared and lost. "It's okay babe, they understand." He smiled down at his boyfriend, kissing him on the nose.

"Don't you want to take your jacket off dear?" Mrs. Vincetti said quietly.

"No thank you, I'm kind of cold."

"Hunter's still getting over a rather nasty illness it's not contagious. His system's just rebooting."

Hunter sat quietly as Tim and his family chatted, he ate slowly compared to everyone else. At one point Mrs. Vincetti stopped the conversation for a second. "Is the food okay Hunter, do you need something lighter? Maybe some soup or a salad, I wouldn't mind."

"No thank you, the food is delicious. I just don't eat very fast or very much." The wolf said with a smile.

There was cake served and ice cream, and as they were talking they took the opportunity to start telling Hunter embarrassing stories from Tim's past. Which caused the wolf to giggle several times. "There was the one time, you know when you were like four, you got into my makeup kit and used all of my favorite lipstick drawing on the bathroom wall. Mom nearly died when she saw that." Tim laughed the loudest.

"I don't even remember doing that!"

"I think one of the funnier, yet saddest moments I remember was when Tim came out." Mrs. Vincetti said.

Everyone got kind of quiet, only his Mom and Dad had been there for that. Tim smiled, putting his chin on his palm, rolling his eyes. "I can't believe you've never told that to these two, they would have found it hilarious!"

"We kept waiting for you to tell it, but since we're telling your boyfriend silly stories, might as well tell this one too."

"I'd like to hear it." Hunter said, a small smile on his face.

"Well Tony and I came in from the store and Tim was standing right there by the stairs. He had a backpack all packed and this sad look on his face. When we asked him what was going on he told us. He said 'Mom, Dad, I came to the realization that I don't like girls the way most other guys do.' Then he got misty eyed and said, 'So I'm taking myself out of the house before you have to.' We asked him what he meant and he told us about how he thought that kids like him had to leave. It took us three hours to get him calmed down! He was so distraught, we kept telling him he didn't have to go anywhere, but he kept insisting... It was almost like he WANTED us to kick him out-"

Hunter had his head down on the table, his body physically shaking, occasionally he'd let out a quiet sob. Tim kissed the back of his head, pulling him gently into a small hug. "Oh yeah, I guess I should have thought of that and asked to skip that one." Tim said, holding Hunter tightly to him. "See where I thought you had to kick me out, Hunter's parents thought they had to kick him out."

"Oh... I'm sorry. How could anyone do that to such... such a sweet boy."

Eventually Hunter calmed down, taking a deep breath in and out. "I'm okay, I have a new home now." Hunter and Tim just smiled at each other for a moment. The husky pulled him gently forward into a brief peck. "I love you," Hunter mouthed quietly.

"I love you too." Tim responded in kind.

Jason stood from the table stretching his back. "Hey, I know it's a little early but in light of the fact that it's a special occasion..."

"Yes we can open our presents tonight as well as letting Tim open his." Mr. Vincetti said, rolling his eyes slightly.

Hunter looked awkwardly at Tim. "Don't worry, I have some presents for you out in the van." Tim said, with a wink he stood up to walk outside.

"We've got some for you too, Tim kind of gave us some pointers since we did ask." Sarah said as she walked out into the living room.

Hunter was left sitting at the table for a second with a small grin on his face. He started to get back up when his leg slipped out from under him, he was still getting used to using a cane. Mrs. Vincetti quietly helped him up and out into the front room. Tim got back from the van with a small pile of presents in his arms. He set them all down next to Hunter. "I've got a couple more for everyone else, Sarah you wanna help me get them." The two huskies departed from the room and returned a little later, carrying several presents between the two.

"So who gets first present?" Jason asked, sitting in the middle of the packages. Jason was six years younger than Tim, Sarah was two years older than him.

"I think we should let Hunter go first, he is our guest after all." Mr. Vincetti said, smiling at the wolf.

Tim just smiled and nodded at his boyfriend. Hunter tore into the package excitedly. He had only received a few presents from Jackie in the past. He opened the box, it was a black Nintendo DS, the one Hunter still has. "Wow, thanks..."

The older Hunter watched as they took turns opening presents. He smiled as he started to walk away. The shadow was really light now. Its head was turned down. Hunter looked ahead. "This stop is your last. I don't know where you're going to go, but you aren't staying here."

The shadow remained silent, it seemed almost sad, regretful.

______________________________________________________________________________

The final room was Tim and Hunter's bedroom. Hunter lay on the bed, tears in his eyes. "This was the first time you appeared in one of my dreams." Hunter said with a small frown. "There was another first time too..."

It was just before school started again. Hunter lay on the bed silent, his body shaking from crying quietly. Tim woke up when he cried audibly, rolling over and taking the wolf in his arms. "Hunter, what's wrong babe." Tim turned on the light, despite the fact that Hunter's eyes were open, the wolf was clearly asleep still. Tim kissed him gently on the cheek and made quiet shushing sounds into his ear. He pulled him as close as he could and wrapped the wolf up in his arms. "It's okay Hunter, whatever you're dreaming, it's okay. I'm right here, I've got you."

Hunter blinked, his eyes clearing as he woke up in Tim's arms. "Tim, I dreamed you were gone, I dreamed this shadow told me you had gone away and weren't coming back."

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. Why would I do that?" Tim kissed him gently where his shoulder met his neck, Hunter leaned into it. "Come on, let me check your sugar and fix you some food." A lot of Hunter's bad dreams happened more often when his sugar was really low. Hunter was awake, too scared to go back to sleep. Tim took his arm and placed it under his own, he separated the fur and kissed the skin before swabbing it. The same habit as he has now. He and Hunter both counted down before the soft click. Hunter winced and jerked his arm. Tim turned, now that the stick was over, and rubbed Hunter's back as the wolf held his finger to the meter. "It's low but not too bad, if you're not hungry I think you'll be fine for a while, if you are I can fix you something." Tim leaned his head down, kissing Hunter softly on the navel. The wolf let out a small content sigh.

"Some food would be nice... if it isn't too much trouble. I can probably fix myself something small."

"Nope, you stay right here and I'll get you all set."

The meal was small, a bowl of mac and cheese and a bottle of lemonade, yet it was something Hunter liked. When the food was finished, Tim took the dishes to the kitchen and returned to the bed. "You good now?"

"I guess. I'm still kind of shaken." Hunter leaned his head onto Tim's shoulder.

Tim lifted the wolf's muzzle up, making Hunter look him in the eyes. He smiled softly at the wolf. "I love you, so much. I'm never going to leave you Hunter, okay?" Before Hunter could answer Tim gently pulled the wolf's lips to his. They kissed deeply and passionately. When they pulled away, Hunter was panting slightly. He looked down at his boxers, there was a noticeable spot spreading. Hunter crossed his legs, slightly embarrassed. Tim took his hands, looking him in the eye. "Looks like you enjoyed that almost as much as I did." Tim said nodding downwards. Hunter giggled when he saw the point in Tim's boxers.

Hunter looked away for a second, his expression unreadable. Tim started to become concerned when Hunter finally spoke. "Do, do you think we could..." He didn't finish the sentence, instead he just looked into Tim's eyes. "I think I... I think I'm ready, if you are." He hung his head low, a small smile on his face, still looking into those sky-like eyes.

"If you're sure." Tim sat up a little, he wanted to make sure Hunter was a hundred percent ready.

The wolf thought for a minute. "Yes... I trust you."

Tim smiled, taking the lead. He leaned over, kissing Hunter again, letting his tongue gently slip into his receptive mouth. Tim ran his hands down Hunter's sides, feeling the soft fur running under his fingers. He stopped just above Hunter's waistband, breaking the kiss for a moment. "If you need to stop, just tell me, okay?" Hunter just nodded, eager for Tim to continue. Hunter gently ran his hands up and down Tim's back, feeling his muscles move as they kissed once more. Finally Tim broke it off, gently taking the band of the wolf's underwear. He made eye contact and Hunter nodded. With a kiss on his navel, Tim pulled his boxers slowly down and off, leaving Hunter exposed. He shuddered at first, from nerves and the slight chill in the air. Tim started to put his hand under Hunter's binder, but the wolf shook his head. Without questioning it, Tim let it go.

The older Hunter watched as Tim and his former self enjoyed their first physical encounter. He smiled fondly at the memory, remembering how gentle and considerate Tim had been towards him. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the unique warmth and closeness he had felt that particular night. When he finally opened his eyes again, the shadow was nearly gone. It had faded to the point of being see through. It looked up at Hunter one last time. "Do you see now? After almost seventeen years of horror and pain, and a year with no company, cold and alone, this is where I am. I'm over all the heartache and misery, and I don't need you in my life constantly trying to make me doubt how secure my life is." Hunter smiled, he felt Tim's hand taking his, the shadow floating on its own, steadily decaying.

"What about Jackie?" It said, its voice now an echoing whisper.

"Jackie..." Hunter turned to see his sister standing next to him. Not the woman she is now, but the small, whimpering girl that took beating after beating for him. "I was certain my sister is still in there somewhere. The one I used to know. I'm not sure now, but I have hope." With one last sigh, the shadow faded.

______________________________________________________________________________

It had been a few hours, they had checked Hunter's throat, found the swelling had gone down, and took the tube out. Hunter was now, tentatively, breathing on his own. Tim sat with his head on Hunter's bed, holding his hand tightly, resting his head on the wolf's hip. His eyes locked on Hunter's face. He thought about the first time he had seen him in a hospital bed, how small and fragile he looked. The Hunter he saw now was stronger, and had proven to the world he was a fighter. Tim actually greatly admired him, constantly marveling at just how strong he really was to be sometimes so frail. Tun leaned his head up, and started to kiss Hunter on the nose. The wolf moved up slightly so that his lips met Tim's, his purple eyes opening. Tim hugged his mate tightly, neither of them said anything for a minute. "I almost lost you." Tim said quietly into his ear.

"I... I think I knew that..." Hunter said, remembering the first part of his dream. His voice had returned in a hoarse whisper. "But you made me come back. That's the second time in my life you've done that." Hunter said with a small smile.

"What was the first?" Tim asked, cocking his head to the side.

"I talked with Dr. Noble after I was awake. She said that she didn't understand how I was actually conscious and talking, a week or so later she said you were probably the reason I stayed around." Hunter shrugged, "Or at least that's how she put it."

Tim looked out the window for a second, just staring up at the sky. He tried to picture where he would be right now without Hunter, it would probably feel like his life was missing something without ever knowing what it was. He now knew where Hunter would be without him. He hopped gently onto the bed, pulling the blankets up over himself. Hunter happily pressed back into him. It wasn't physically the most comfortable of arrangements, but neither one of them wanted to be anywhere else at the moment. Bridget smiled at the two of them from her bed. "Glad to have you back." She said with a smile. Hunter returned the smile and nodded slightly. Tim was fast asleep, his face pressed gently into Hunter's neck and shoulders. Hunter kissed one of the black furred hands before he too closed his eyes. He knew he would have to face more struggles in his life, but for right now that didn't matter. Because he was safe, for the first time in his entire life, he was truly safe snuggled down within the husky's arms.