Looking Back
Hey guys- I know it's been a while since I've written anything. Truth be told I have kept on writing, but just haven't posted anything here. I kind of deviated from the furry scene for a while.
No yiff. x3 Sorry if that's what your after. I didn't have the time before work for one.
The annoying buzz of the alarm broke the otherwise silent atmosphere in the room. The clock blared out 5:30 in a painful, bright red. With a groan and a heave, a black paw started smacking around on the night-stand before finding it's mark; turning the alarm off. The owner of the paw sat up, a black and grey wolf rubbing his eyes in an effort to wake himself up.
God, he hated mornings. He could barely remember the nights before. It was so hard to try and remember, because it always hurt. He never really liked looking back, anyway. He was always the type to look forward. He turned, and sat on the side of the bed, staring out at the window that was placed right there. He stared out at the other apartment right across from him. No one else was getting up this early. No other lights had come on, no other alarms were going off. The room was deathly silent.
He heaved another groan and got up, scratching his rear. Why did that always hurt in the morning? Sure, the pain would go away after breakfast, but it still rattled his mind to wonder why he just couldn't remember. He shook his head, stretching broad, muscled arms out, letting out a wide, gaping yawn. Scratching at his hips this time, he padded over towards the bathroom in the corner of the bedroom.
Making a beeline for the shower, the wolf reached inside past the shower door, turning on the water. He needed it to be extra hot since it took a while for the heat to sink past through his rather thick coat of fur, even if it was fine and coarse in most areas. He tested the water by letting it run over his paw for a bit, before he stepped in himself fully, letting the water bathe over his body.
He waited those few, preliminary seconds, before he felt the water permeate through his fur, hitting actual skin underneath. He let out a slight murr at the heat and warmth, just standing there for a few seconds to let it wash over his body. He hated how waking up always made him feel cold; then again, sleeping naked probably wasn't going to help that. Still, it didn't matter to him; he was warm now, and that was all that mattered.
Reflexively, he reached out for a shampoo bottle, not even knowing why he knew it was there; it just was. He squeezed a copious amount of the stuff into one of his large paws, working a lather down his body. Shoulders, arms, front, back, under tail, groin, legs; always the same path. He found it funny that he would wash himself in that order every time, but just dismissed the thought as he did every morning.
Next came the headfur and his mane of sorts, as well as the tail itself; both called for a different sort of wash that he took pride in. He started to whistle at this point, the song that he always whistled in the shower. He closed his eyes as he started to massage the back of his head, the ministrations there nearly putting him to sleep where he stood.
Before he could fully succumb to the pleasure of rest yet again, he brought his hands away and reached down, arcing his tail around his waist. He always found it a hassle to clean; his large form barely fit in the shower as it was, and here he had to twist and turn just to get at the unreachable parts of his tail. He bumped his elbow against the wall, howling lightly and letting out a string of curses. At least he was done.
He dried himself off quickly, wrapping a towel around his waist. Standing in the doorway to his bathroom, he stared out at the king-size bed that took half the space in his modest apartment bedroom. Did he really move around so much in his sleep, that he would make the entire thing messy on both sides? True, he was a large wolf, but it looked like he'd tossed and turned within a nightmare, to have messed up the sheets and covers on every corner.
A nonchalant shrug followed, and his stomach rumbled. His paw rested lightly over his taut, still damp stomach; it was time for food. He hooked a right, turning out of the bathroom and the room itself, heading into the kitchen.
He stopped, however, when he was only a few steps out of his bedroom. There was the smell of eggs and sausages already cooked wafting through the apartment. When the hel-- he snarled, and started to stalk around. Despite his size, he was a wolf after all; he made minimal sound as he crept down the hallway, staring into the joined living room and kitchen.
Empty. He peered over the couch. No one there. There was, however, a rather large breakfast cooked, and set on the table in front of the couch. He made his way over, making sure to constantly scan the room to see if someone else was here. Someone else HAD to be here. He hadn't cooked at all.
He sat on the couch, trying to ignore the food. Beside the large plate (more of a platter dish, really) was a remote with a folded piece of paper. The thing looked so old, like it had been folded and reused time and time again. Carefully, he drew the paper and opened it.
"Good morning, Love. I'm sure you know the drill by now, but just to make sure, don't forget to play the video that I prepared for you last night."
He blinked. Love? Who the-- He stared at the remote, and then the TV in front of him. Still suspicious, he reached out for the remote, and turned on the TV. Nothing. Just a black picture. He noticed, however, that there was something in his DVD player. He stared down at the note again, and then at the remote.
His finger soon found the Play button. An image of a human came on the screen-- handsome, but looking tired. The human stared at the camera as if to make sure it was recording, then stepped back. He was in the wolf's bedroom. The wolf was even sleeping on the. He snarled again, and was about to throw the remote at the TV, when the human spoke.
"Good morning again, Love! It's now 2:29 AM, Saturday, October 17th, 2009. I'm sure you know the drill by now, but just to make sure-- I love you. See yourself sleeping here on this bed? You probably don't remember, but you let me in here. We... made love last night. You usually remember after you're done eating breakfast-- so go ahead and eat. I know you're usually hungry after a transformation. It's kind of a perk of you being who you are.
Just remember. Even if you're a were-fur, even if I'm a human and you, in either transformed state or not, are not, I still love you. If you don't believe me, you should put down your plate, and turn around."
Truth be told, the wolf had been munching on the food that had been set before him. That too, had been reflex. The smells had seemingly enticed his muscles to just reaching out, and taking the food. At this point, however, he set the plate down, his mind racing. Love? Make... love? Were? His head started to hurt again. That's right. He was... a wolf regularly, but transformed into a creature of legend at times. Last night... had he transformed? He couldn't remember.
Turn around. Something told him to turn around. He quickly swiveled on the bed, to see the human from the video there, standing and smiling. He was wrapped only in a bathrobe, arms open. "It's me. Do you remember? Can you tell me my name?" He wasn't here to hurt the wolf, that much was evident.
But god, it hurt to think! He clutched at his head, and let out a loud growl, making the human wince. "T...Tyler..." He grumbled out, before staring up. Images flashed through his head. A wedding? The human was there. So was he. They kissed. Tyler, right? Yeah, it was Tyler. A human, 29 years of age, brunette with glasses-- suddenly, that handsome face was fearful in his mind's eye. A loud growl... and then pain. "Tyler what's--" He stared, before more images swarmed him.
Blood. Tyler. Tyler bleeding. Tyler's blood. On his paws. On his fur. He started feeling scared. Arms wrapped around him, and the human started to hush him. "Keep remembering, love. I'm still here, see?" Tyler said, soothingly. He whined pitifully, his mind continuing to race. Things were becoming more and more present, now.
Moving. Moving into Tyler's apartment. This wasn't his place, this was Tyler's. Doctors. Explaining what he was. And then...
Last night. Another transformation. Tyler didn't look scared this time.
He looked up, and Tyler smiled. "Tyler I--" The wolf started, reaching up. God, his form dwarfed the human's. "... I'm sorry about last night..."
"It's okay. It was your first this month. Do you remember?" He asked. The wolf just nodded. The brunette smiled, and leaned down, kissing the lupine's nose. "Good. Now, finish your breakfast, and the rest will come back to you. After that, come cuddle before I have to go to work, okay?" The human let the wolf go, and padded back down the hallway.
Now he was afraid again. Had he hurt Tyler? He wouldn't forgive himself if he ever did. He was remembering more. Every time he'd transform he wouldn't remember right away but it came back. Painfully, and slowly, the more he looked back, the more it came back. He was searching, now. Trying to rewatch the whole transformation. All he could remember was the first time...
The first time, he hadn't controlled it. The first time, Tyler was afraid. A slight scuffle and he'd.... he'd nearly killed the man he married. He hadn't done that last night, right? There was no blood, no traces of anything--
Images of last night flooded his mind. He had transformed. Tyler was there... but he was okay. Of course, he was still a different being when transformed. Tyler on his back... Tyler's legs spread and--
A look of pain. Then pleasure. A comforting smile. By this point, the wolf had found his way back to the bedroom, the human asleep on his side again on the bed. Not wanting to wake him up, the wolf made his way over, sliding into the covers with the human, wrapping a large, furred arm around him, pulling the smaller form into his large body.
6:45. Tyler was going to have to get up in an hour. He felt bad, now. He always felt bad. And so, to try and make it up, he just nuzzled in as softly as he could, letting the human get as much rest as he could.
Looking back... the only regret he ever had now, was having broken that handsome, peaceful smile that Tyler always had when he slept.
Personal Note: Finish Time, 42 minutes.