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Chapter 4

Here Liveth the Heroes

July 14, 1891

It has been rather exciting this past week or so. Therefore today I am planning on nothing but walking Banit to her lessons and checking in on Henry. I'm looking forward to not having trouble or anything.

Banit was a bit clingy this morning. She said "Ah-ah emay gone, Banit catch up on hugs!" She held true to her word. It was a bit awkward walking her to her lessons. The locals appear to have gotten used to seeing her attached to me. They don't even give it a second thought. On my way back I was stopped by Mrs. Young. She told me that she's hired on an assistant. At first I was thinking good for her, I didn't really understand why she felt the need to tell me. She then said that I know her and her boys. It is Ms. Warren. That's great! I was hoping that she'd find a decent job! Usually young widow women or divorcees end up working in not so savory places. I'll have to swing by sometime and say hello. Mrs. Young and I chatted a while before she had to leave. I meandered over to Mr. Brooks' store only to see Henry busy as a bee cleaning up the place. He spotted me and greeted me very excitedly. He calls me Mr. Locke. That's different, usually I'm Flint. I'll have to get used to that. It does make me feel old though. Henry was enjoying his new job. Mr. Brooks was glad to have the help. He's getting too old to be doing that kind of work alone anymore. Mr. Brooks said that he was surprised this morning. He went to wake Henry only to find that he was already up and sweeping the floors. Well good, all's well then. I returned home in time for lunch.

Bobby didn't feel like going anywhere today so we spent most of the afternoon playing games. Will and the two cattle boys came by and joined in at some point. I finally asked their names. Turns out they're twins they go by Fred and Sam Warren. Again I'm known as Mr. Locke.

July 15, 1891

I just could not drag myself out of bed this morning. I wasn't feeling bad. I wasn't tired. Instead there was a weight on me and I was being held down. Yup, you'd guess it. Banit and Lilly had snuck in and neither of them was going to get up. Ma wasn't any help. She opened the door, saw us, laughed and said "Yer on yer own". Damn it Ma! It turns out Bobby was just the help I needed. He asked Lilly to move so that he could get out. She rolled over enough for me to get my arm out from under her and I was then able to escape. Banit and Lilly pouted. Sorry girls.

Banit told me that this Monday is Bobby's birthday. How'd she find out? Anyways I think he's earned a good party so I'll talk to Ma about it.

As for what I did today. I chopped wood, I napped, and that's about it. I'm rather boring aren't I?

Post Script: You know, sometimes having a boring day is a good thing. Lets you know that everything's alright.

July 16, 1891

Ma's off today so we all went shopping. I tagged along mainly to keep Banit out of trouble. How anyone can be so bad at moving their own feet is beyond me. Today she tripped and fell on the back of some woman's dress ripping it in half. We apologized and I tried to help her but she hit me. Later at Mr. Brooks' store she backed into a canned goods display and knocked it down. Poor Henry spent all morning stacking that. At the market she got tangled in some string so bad that I had to cut it off of her. I don't know how but she walked into a sign, a lamp post, a mail box, a horse, and almost fell into a manhole. I'd tell her to stop moving but it's just too funny. Every time she trips she looks up at me and smiles. Towards the end of our trip I started hearing Lilly mumble and growl a bit. I think she's getting jealous of all the attention that Banit was getting. I was right. After dinner Lilly parked herself in my lap and demanded my full attention. Ma looked like she was going to bust a gut holding in her laughter.

Post Script: Bunnies don't like it when you stop petting them.

July 17, 1891

Not much going on today. I'll be going over to watch Lilly's show. Bobby and his bunch are staying at Will's place so Banit will be accompanying me.

Well, Banit is still a heartbreaker. That young man that was following her around at the barbeque just happened to show up tonight. He's rather stubborn and couldn't take a hint. Banit slapped him and ran upstairs. He got mad and tried to follow. One look from Ma ended that thought though.

Alice really opens up on stage. She's a remarkable dancer. Joey has to step up to not be overshadowed. Combine that with Lilly's excellent singing and Ms. Fellow's great piano playing and it's no wonder that the other saloons are jealous. Since Ma boots out the troublemakers, The Pasture draws in a better class of customer. Since they tend to be more affluent they like a better, albeit more expensive, spirit. That means more money for Ma. It's no wonder why business is always good. I've noticed that some of the other saloons are trying to compete but that's extremely difficult considering the talent here.

Now that I think about it. I am impossibly fortunate. Especially when you consider what could have happened.

July 18, 1891

It's time I figure out what I'm doing for Bobby's birthday. He'll be expecting a surprise party like what we did for Lilly, so I think a direct approach would be best. That in mind I went for an early morning walk. First stop, the Young's house.

I spoke with Will and Mrs. Young about having a party on Monday. They are excited about it. Especially Will. Mrs. Young offered to pass along the details to Ms. Warren and her boys. I asked her to tell the Warrens to not worry about getting any gifts for Bobby, that I'll be getting him a lot. From there I went to Mr. Harcourt's. I told him of Bobby's birthday and I purchased a lot of candy, and a new hat for him. Considering what happened on the Fourth, I think it's time for Bobby to graduate from his short-pants to full trousers. He should like that. I remember when Pa bought me my first pair of trousers. I really felt like I had grown up when I put them on. I was a bit older than Bobby though. I bought a pair and some new shoes to go with them. From there it was off to the toy store. I purchased a lot of toys and games. By the time I had finished I couldn't carry all of them. I rented a cart to get them home. Luckily Bobby was out playing with his friends. Ma was still home as was Lilly and Banit so the four of us wrapped his presents. Lilly took it upon herself to rewrap the ones Banit did, they were...interesting. I asked Lilly if she knew if Bobby had anyone that he'd like to invite to his party. She said that he only plays with Will and the twins. She didn't know if he had other friends. I suppose Bobby is more concerned with the quality of his friends rather than the quantity of them. I guess this is going to be a smaller party. I asked Ma to invite Joey. I know that Bobby likes her, and I had already invited Mr. Harcourt. I don't know who else to invite.

By dinner time Bobby came home. I told him that we were planning his Birthday party but we didn't know who all he'd like to invite. He said that he'd like to have his friends and Mr. Harcourt. He blushed and quietly mumbled that he wouldn't mind Joey being there. I pretended not to hear him and asked him what he said. He responded with "Nothing!" and ran off blushing deeply. I couldn't help but laugh a bit. I hollered at him to invite anyone that he wanted to.

July 19, 1891

Church, enough said. Today we found a nice place in the park to have the party. I think I'll buy some kites as the weather is supposed to be perfect for them tomorrow. I was out wandering around a bit and found an advertisement for a clown. I went by to see him. He was great! I asked him why he became a clown and he said that he only does that on the side. He's actually an actor with a local theatre troupe. I hired him and told him where to meet before the party. I was going to head home but I was distracted by an attractive young corn snake girl. She was very friendly. We hit it off quite well. So well in fact that she invited me over for "coffee". I was curious how this was going to work. She doesn't have legs. I must say, I really enjoy reptilian girls on hot summer days. I didn't get back until just before the kid's bedtimes. Lilly was not happy, neither was Banit. Maybe I should have bathed before coming home.

July 20, 1891

I no longer smell of snake, instead I smell of bird. Last night everyone turned in fairly early. I was still cleaning up after the small dinner I made so I didn't get to bathe until late. While I was soaking and enjoying the warm water Banit came in. She was "frustrated" and wanted relief. I told her she was too young but she said "You do something or I do." I said hands and mouths only. She agreed. How we didn't wake anyone is beyond me but we managed. She then insisted on joining me in bed. I let her but she wasn't done. She must have been in need for while. We ended up going back to the restroom and we spent most of the night there until she was satisfied. I don't really mind that kind of thing but she gets overly excited and sometimes slips. I've got a nice bruise on my maleness now. She slipped and ended up beak first in my crotch.

So anyways, it was difficult waking this morning, only managed thanks to the help of strong coffee. Banit slept in and we let her. Ma said "The more we can get done before she wakes the better!" I didn't want to admit it but Ma's right. Banit can be a walking disaster sometimes. Ma, Lilly, and I gathered our party supplies and set up in the park. We let Bobby sleep in as well. While we were setting up the clown arrived. He brought a big box that had a question mark painted on each side. His name is Plucky the clown, the most cowardly knight! He said that he'd hide in the box and pop out when the party started. Just before noon I left to fetch Bobby and Banit. They were awake and getting dressed. Bobby was very glad to see me. He said that Banit needed help but he could go in there. I was confused until I saw the problem. Banit had stripped down to change then somehow managed to get tangled in string and got herself stuck. I closed the door and told Bobby to stay downstairs. He's much too young to be seeing a naked blue jay girl. It took a while to untangle her. She was embarrassed and blushing. I don't think I've ever seen her act that way. She's not concerned about being naked it was being tied up that got her. I'll have to remember that. So after getting her untied and dressed we headed downstairs and off to the party.

The party was great. Bobby's gang had already arrived as well as Mr. Harcourt and Joey. Bobby then saw the giant box and was immediately curious about it. I told him to open it. There was a rope on the side that said pull me. So he did and out popped Plucky the cowardly knight. He put on a great show, even had the adults laughing at his antics. During his performance I talked to Joey a bit. I asked if she knew that Bobby had feelings for her. She smiled and said she knew. So I asked her for one big present for him. We both smiled. She knew what I was up to, devious minds think alike. After the show and once Plucky escaped, we had lunch, and opened presents. Bobby loved it. Most of what he got was things that he could play with his friends. He liked the trousers. He hopped up and down yelling "No more short-pants!" When he'd finished opening all of his presents Joey got hold of him and said that she had one more present for him but he had to close his eyes first. He did and Joey bent down and kissed him on the cheek. I've never seen anyone turn so red. His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head and he couldn't say anything no matter how hard he tried. That is until I started laughing, which started everyone else. He kicked me in the shin and called me a jerk. However he didn't run like I expected him to. That done Mr. Harcourt, Joey and Ma left they needed to get to work which left Lilly, Banit and I in charge of clean up. Luckily Bobby and his friends joined in and we were able to get things clean in no time at all. We had rented a wagon for the day to get everything here so we used it to get everything back home. I told Bobby to go play. Lilly started to come with us but I told her that she could go play if she wanted to. That left Banit and I to carry everything inside. I made sure to only let her carry non-breakable things such as his clothes and the like. Once done, I took the wagon back and went back home. When I came in Banit was napping on the couch. That sounded like a good idea so I joined her using her lap as a pillow.

Lilly got jealous again. She saw us napping and was mad that I rested my head on Banit's lap. I got her good though. I told Lilly to sit down on the other side of the couch. She did and I quickly rested my head in her lap. She panicked and froze. I don't think she was expecting that. Banit joined in by lying on top of me. Lilly didn't move a muscle or make a sound. When I looked up at her she was blushing and looked like she was about to have a heart attack so I stopped teasing her. It took a good minute for her to come back to her senses. She pouted the rest of the afternoon and wouldn't talk to me. I'll have to make it up to her next time she decides to speak to me.

July 21, 1891

Banit is off to her lessons and Bobby is out painting the town red with his new toys. Lilly is still mad at me and I have no idea what to do about it. I think I'll just give her space and go for a walk.

While out looking for an apology gift I happened to meet Papel again. He's still interested in Banit, he kept asking about her. I like the kid well enough. I just don't think he has a chance with her, at least as long as I'm available. Anyways, he wanted me to come by the station and talk with the Chief. I didn't get the feeling that I'm in trouble so I went along. In the Chief's office I learned that some very wanted men have come into town and the Chief wants to arrest them, only problem is they can't find them. There's a bounty of $6000 on each of their three heads, dead or alive. I was given a poster and asked to help find them. I said that I'm not really interested in it but I'll keep an eye open for them. Chief said "Good enough". The poster says their wanted for murder, rape, arson, robbery, horse theft, smuggling, and several other things. These are not the type of men I care to tangle with. That done I left.

Now back to what I really came for, an apology gift. I tried to find something but nothing really caught my eye. I had just about given up when I found a florist's shop. I bought a half dozen mixed roses and had them decorated. I figured it'd be best if I made a bit of a show about giving them to her. So when I got home I called Lilly out to the front porch. Like a true showman, I bowed and apologized for startling her yesterday and begged for her forgiveness. She blushed not from what I had done but for the fact that all of her friends were behind her and I didn't see them. They watched the spectacle and were giggling and cooing. She took the flowers and quickly walked back inside. Her gaggle teased her a bit, but I overheard them telling her that they were jealous that she gets to live with me. She distracted them by having them help her put the flowers in a vase. While they were busy she snuck over to me and kissed me on the cheek. That earned her a lot of giggles and more teasing, poor Lilly.

Luckily I was able to dodge the gaggle's harassment and escape behind a good book. That's how I spent the afternoon until they left. From then on I had to be on guard for attacks from Lilly. Sure enough as soon as I let my guard down she pounced. I had a very overjoyed bunny in my lap hugging me.

Post Script: Lilly really likes it when I pet her behind her ears.

July 22, 1891

I went fishing today with Bobby and his bunch. Bobby and Will wanted to get in as much play time as they could before school started. Fred and Sam were excited about going to school for the first time. They said that they'll be going to the same school as Bobby and Will. Fred asked if the teacher will teach them their letters and how to read and write. Bobby jumped up and said "If they don't, I will!" I couldn't help but laugh. It looks like he just might have the same affliction that I do, the need to help. I'm proud of that kid. Bobby said that school starts on the third. That's a bit early but then again the more school they have the better. After an hour or so we became bored with fishing as the fish weren't biting, so they took off to go play while I brought our catch and gear home. Our catch was one catfish, one single stinkin' catfish. It didn't even take our bait. Will got it tangled in the line. Once home I cleaned it and set it aside for my dinner, I cooked tonight.

July 23, 1891

So today is a painful day. It started off like any other day. It looked to be a normal boring day. Then it happened. SHE happened. Banit the ever graceful happened. A bit before noon I was following Ma upstairs when Banit started down stairs. She then tripped over a shadow and fell into Ma who tried to catch her. Ma also fell. Both of them came crashing down onto me. Banit isn't a problem really. She doesn't weigh enough to hurt. But Ma weighs almost as much as I do and is very solidly built. When I woke the doctor was standing over me. My whole body feels numb like when you sit on your leg wrong and it falls asleep. Doc says I have a concussion and require bed rest for the next couple of days. Why does this sound familiar and scary at the same time? Oh, I remember! I got shot and Banit wouldn't leave me alone. Damn I hope that doesn't happen again.

July 24, 1891

I understand why Doc ordered bed rest. Just walking to the bathroom was enough to make me dizzy. I've hit my head several times, harder even, why is this time so much worse? My body still feels numb. I'm not allowed to drink, and I've been banned from The Pasture for the time being. It's a bit past noon right now and I haven't seen Banit. Lilly has been coming in to talk and feed me, but Banit seems to be avoiding me. I know why but I still don't like it. Lilly said that she's been sitting on the couch not moving all day. That has me feeling even worse.

Bobby came in and I got him to help me. I made my way downstairs and sure enough Banit was there on the couch with the most pitiable look on her face. I sat down next to her but she quickly moved over to a chair. I asked her why she was avoiding me, she said, "I hurt you. I don't want hurt you. If I stay away, Ah-ah emay won't be hurt." For some reason what she said angered me. I said "Banit, it was an accident. Just say that you're sorry and come visit with me. I'm getting lonely stuck up there all by myself and would like someone to talk to." I smiled, "Besides, you're comfortable to cuddle with." I heard Lilly stifle an objection, while Banit shyly smiled back at me tears in her eyes. But first all this movement drained the life out of me and so I had her sit on the couch so that I had a lap pillow again. I had just about fallen asleep when I saw that Lilly was standing over me looking like she wanted to hit me. I reached up and pulled her on top of me. I had a lap pillow and something warm and struggling to cuddle. She eventually surrendered.

I don't know how, Ma probably, but when I woke I was back in the bedroom. Lilly and Banit served me my dinner, something I'm starting to enjoy and Bobby came in and played some games with me.

July 25, 1891

I think that Lilly is on to Banit's tricks. Each time Banit comes in, Lilly is fast behind her. That got Banit a bit grumpy but probably kept me from doing something stupid. I must say though I was a bit too warm last night, sandwiched between a bird and a bunny.

I'm feeling better today. I'm able to move around a lot easier and without that dizzy feeling. However, if I push too hard that numb feeling comes back and I have to sit. Ma has still forbidden me to have any alcohol so I'm stuck with water, tea, and coffee. I have gotten her to allow me to come watch Lilly's show tonight. On the condition that I stay upstairs and have an escort at all times. Ma's put Banit in charge of making sure I don't go anywhere alone. She's taking her duty seriously. I sent Bobby out to the toy store to find a new game for us. He came back with a game called Crokinole. I've never heard of it before but it's a lot of fun. Bobby and I teamed up against Lilly and Banit. It's a bit like shuffleboard but its round and on a table, played about the same as well. We had a lot of fun and played several rounds. By the time Lilly left to prepare for her show Bobby and I trailed only by 5 points. Had I not missed that one shot, we would have won. I'll blame my concussion for it.

Bobby told me that he's been invited to stay over with the Warren boys tonight. That's good. I feel bad about always imposing on Mrs. Young like that. I'll be going to The Pasture just as soon as Banit finishes getting dressed.

The walk over was nice. I started feeling that numb sensation again but luckily we'd arrived by then. Ma immediately marshaled me upstairs and sternly told me not to move. Luckily there's a comfortable sofa up here. Banit's currently going after some refreshments for us. I hope she can make it back without spilling them.

July 26, 1891

Last night was great. Banit didn't trip! I can hardly believe it but she didn't. It took her longer to get around but she didn't trip. She's trying so hard to not be clumsy. I don't really know if I want her to stop being clumsy or not. Things would certainly be easier for her as well as us, but that also means that she's changed and I like her the way she is. If she's no longer tripping over shadows then I won't get to see her look up and give me that dopey smile anymore. I'll talk with her about that later.

For now let me tell you a bit about last night, it was interesting. Lilly had told Joey about my concussion. Joey told the rest of the Girls. Therefore, while I stayed upstairs like I was told, I drew a lot of attention, mainly from the male patrons. Banit never left my side. She mainly cuddled up to me on the sofa. Joey and the other girls would come up to visit and bring us snacks and drinks from time to time. Even Lilly and Ms. Fellows would come up. Now, normally that's something that I'd never object too. But at one point while taking a break I had Banit on one side, Joey on the other, Lilly in my lap, and two of the other girls feeding me. I could hear a lot of grumbles down below and they weren't happy. If only they knew. Now that I think about it. I don't recall seeing Alice anywhere. She must have had the day off.

Anyways today wasn't all that special, Church, evil-eyed preacher, etc. Bobby and his bunch came over after Church and played a couple of games before they ran off, or were run off. Lilly invited her friends over to have a group sewing party. It seems one of the girls grew some and her dresses no longer fit her. So they're getting together and making a couple. I thought it'd be best if I left. Ma's still making Banit be my escort, not that Banit minds. So I can't go off to my usual haunts, therefore the two of us had a small picnic in the park. I put the final touches on the food. Banit gathered a blanket for us to sit on. She's trying much too hard not to trip. Even I can tell that it's tiring her out. Right now she's asleep in my lap and it's taking all of my willpower to not pull some kind of a prank on her. I keep thinking that I want to decorate her beak, so instead I'm writing. When she wakes, if I've been strong and not done something to her, I'm planning on telling her not to worry about being graceful. You know, the funny part is. While she'll trip over a shadow, get tangled in string, or other such feats, she's actually quite good with her hands. It's like she's just learning how to walk at times but she can do the most intricate tasks so long as she's sitting. Strange girl, she's fun to watch though.

Well, we had our talk. I probably should have waited until we got home. Banit was so relieved that she jumped on top of me hugging me. Normally I'd welcome that kind of thing but I was getting all kinds of bad looks and I'd rather avoid rumors being spread about her. We spent the rest of the afternoon lazing about before heading home.

July 27, 1891

Doc came by and checked me out. He gave me a clean bill of health. Therefore I'm free! Banit is at her lessons, Bobby is out with his bunch, and Lilly is heading off soon to finish that dress at her friend's house. So, I'm off to scrounge up some fun.

Mondays are so slow. All I managed to find was one measly craps game. Most of the saloons are closed on Monday so that's out of the question, and I can't seem to find any female companionship either. Then again it's early. Maybe things will pick up later on.

Well I didn't manage anything. I ended up stumbling upon Bobby and company playing cops and robbers. I joined in, as a robber of course. I played with them a while before leaving them to their antics. I did however get a big surprise at home. After I walked inside and closed the door I couldn't help but notice that the curtains were shut. I took a few steps only to hear footsteps running towards me from the stairs. It was Banit, naked as the day she was born. She jumped into my arms saying "You no get away this time!" She grabbed my arm and pulled me upstairs. I objected saying that Ma, or Lilly would catch us. She smugly said "Ma go work, Lilly at friend's house, we're alone." Damn it! I know I shouldn't have, and I hate myself for it, but I finally gave in. I now know not to do that if there's anybody home. She's a bit loud. After we finished, we bathed. It would not be a good thing to smell like each other when Lilly and Ma get home. Nowadays, I don't know who'd be worse, Ma or Lilly. Lilly has certainly made herself at home.

Speaking of which, Lilly was awfully suspicious during dinner tonight. She said that we were a bit too clean. I said that it was just an easy day for us so we didn't get dirty. Lilly was getting a bit too nosey so I distracted her a bit. I said, "Lilly, did I ever tell you that you'd make an amazing wife to some lucky guy?" She blushed and reverted back to her usual shy self. While we were cleaning up Lilly found one of Bobby's toys that he got for his birthday. After she was done nagging at Bobby for leaving it out. She asked Banit when her birthday was. Banit shrugged and said "Caddo don't have birthday". Lilly glared at me and raised her eyebrow. I guess that meant for me to say something. So I asked Banit if she knew when she was born. Banit didn't know but said it was sometime in the next couple of weeks. So after a bit of a discussion we decided that we'd set it during August on the 10th. That seemed to make Banit happy and she asked if we were going to have a party for her. Lilly jumped up and said, "Of course we're having a Birthday Party for you! And Flint's going to make sure it's a big one too!" She's surprisingly good at passing the responsibility isn't she? Banit lit up like I've never seen. She first hugged me then Lilly. Bobby said that he'd help too. So I guess that's been decided.

I'll make the rounds to all the people that I know she likes and see who'll come. I'm sure most of the Girls from The Pasture would come as well as the Harcourt's. Beyond them I really don't know. She's always around us so she doesn't really have any friends outside of our circle. Perhaps I should ask Banit if there's anyone that she'd like to invite.

July 28, 1891

Banit's had a bit of a spring in her step today. It's nice to be around such a happy girl. She was very excited to go to her lessons today. She said that Joey was going to start teaching her other things besides English. I still think that Joey should have been a teacher she's very good at it. I had the chance to speak with Joey a bit before her lessons. Banit told her that she's going to have her first birthday party and just about begged Joey to come. I don't know who was more excited Banit or Joey at that point. They chattered on like a couple of old biddies. I excused myself and left them to it.

I took the opportunity to spread word of the impending party. Mr. Harcourt loves a good birthday party as does Jr. We had been talking about it and planning it out when Bobby came in. He said that while he was changing clothes he accidentally found some wanted posters I had. He said that he sees them quite often where he usually plays with his friends. I told him "Stay away from them. They're very dangerous, but don't act like you know about them. That could be even worse for all of us." He agreed. I had him show me where he sees them and sure enough there they were. All three of them, they were hiding under the cover of some transients looking for work. There was no denying that these were indeed the men on the posters. I wasn't going to get involved. However I can't let men like these stay this close to where Bobby and other kids play. So I quickly hatched a plan. They were working for a hardware store. So I figured they wouldn't look twice at someone coming in to buy things. I then went home and changed into my work clothes and broke the handle on our axe. I figured I could use that as a cover for going in there. Once in, I milled around a bit while a new handle was being fitted all the while looking for the right opportunity. The store owner gave me back my axe and I went ahead and bought a spare handle "just in case". On my way out I saw a good chance. Two of them were unloading a wagon of goods. So I took the spare handle and knocked out the two on the ground and pulled my pistol on the third. He surrendered as I had him out gunned. I had him get off the wagon and while he was making his way I went ahead and hit him. I then started tying them up when I heard Bobby yell behind me. One of them had woken before I had a chance to bind him. He'd grabbed my axe and was about to kill me. I went for my pistol but I couldn't get to it in time. Bobby smacked him with a shovel; he was unconscious before he hit the ground. That damned kid! I told him to stay away. Never have I been so glad to be disobeyed. As quickly as I could I finished tying them and thanked Bobby profusely. I'd be dead now if it wasn't for him. Now that I think about it. This is the second time he's saved someone. First Lilly, now me, I guess I don't have to worry about him so much anymore. I borrowed a cart from the store owner. He was more than happy to help once I explained the situation. Bobby helped load them up and we were off. I had Bobby ride in the cart with the axe handle and told him to give them a good whack if they try anything. I pulled the cart to the police station. The chief was very surprised to see us, especially with the three men that he couldn't find. He was thanking me when I told him that Bobby earned most of the praise. I told him what Bobby had done and he couldn't believe it. That is until one of them woke and Bobby hit him. An officer took the three and threw them in jail. The chief told us that the bounty on them had risen to $7000 a piece if they could be taken alive. Bobby couldn't believe it. He said "21,000 dollars? For catching them? And we get that? Really?" The look on his face was priceless. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. The chief and I couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, and I'll tell you something else" He reached into his desk "I'm going to make you an honorary police officer." He handed Bobby a small badge then loudly announced. "This is for apprehending THREE MEN that NONE of my officers could catch!" Bobby got a big round of applause and cheers that only seemed to embarrass him. After a bit of paperwork I split the bounty with him evenly. He did save my life after all. I told him that I'll give it to Ma and she'll start up a bank account for him, but that the money can only be used for college or emergencies. He nodded and as soon as we got home there was Ma and Lilly. They had already heard and were not happy. Both Bobby and I were parked on the couch for a very long lecture. Ma and Lilly took turns expressing their anger at us. It was not pretty. Even Banit got in on it a few times. For punishment Bobby had to go without dinner. I'm banished to the back porch for the time being. I'm not allowed inside or off of the porch, and no dinner.

Post script: I wonder how long this will last.

July 29, 1891

I was fed this morning, but I'm still banished. Ma said that I'm only allowed to use the bathroom. Lilly and Banit wouldn't talk to me either. Bobby tried to join me but Lilly dragged him back inside and up to his room. And that's how today's been. I wasn't given lunch. Not that it really matters. Worst part is, I'm so bored that I'm counting how many clouds pass by between a couple trees, currently six have passed with four near misses. It's awfully hot today.

There are a couple of squirrels playing in the trees above me. They are interesting to watch. Fifteen clouds but it looks like they're getting thinner.

I was given dinner out here as well, a sandwich and a glass of water. Inside I can see that Lilly's gone all out and made a feast. Looks like I'm spending another night out here again.

July 30, 1891

Ma said that I can come inside but only because Bobby told her that I gave him half of the bounty to use to pay for college. I'm on house arrest now and I'm not allowed to leave. Ma smiled and said "Now since ya got all this free time on yer hands I've found a few things to...keep ya busy." She gave me a long list of things that need doing around the house. She said that if I need anything to send Bobby out after it because he's grounded too. I didn't say a word. I just nodded. Sometimes that's better. I worked hard today. I got the outside of the house cleaned and I even scraped it down getting it ready to be painted again. Bobby and I have been volunteered for that project, on my wallet too. I'm so tired. I'm not allowed a bed yet though. I've been given a blanket and I've been told to sleep in the kitchen.

Post script: Still better than being outside.

July 31, 1891

Bobby and I painted the front of the house and got most of one side done. Tomorrow we're planning on getting the back and the other side.

I'm trying to keep Bobby from getting blisters on his hands. He's working very hard.

August 1, 1891

We got an early start today and got all but the trim finished. I'll do that tomorrow. I begged Ma to let Bobby off and I'll finish the rest of his punishment. She agreed but told Bobby to walk the straight and narrow for now on. I saw the same look on his face that I made every time Ma scolded me. He looked even more like me when he said "Yes, Mama" It was a slip but he said it. Ma blinked and picked him up and hugged him. That's when Ma completely forgave him. That didn't work so well for me. I didn't get a hug. Instead I got a swat on the back of the head.

August 2, 1891

By noon I had finished the trim. I guess the good part is that I didn't get stink eyed by the preacher. Lilly and Banit made sure to do that for him though.

Ma asked me to take Lilly and Bobby shopping for the last of the supplies they'll need for school tomorrow. She put Lilly in charge. I could almost see her saddling up her high horse. Ma looked at me and said "BEHAVE" in a way that was not just an order, but a threat and a promise at the same time.

While shopping Lilly made sure to punish me even more by making me not only pay for everything but carry it as well. She did not pull any punches either. Bobby tried to help but was quickly reprimanded for that. I started calling her "Little Miss", she seemed to like it. We had just about purchased everything and I was loaded down when some of Lilly's friends showed up. I was then told to take everything home but to come back as soon as possible. I didn't like the sound of that. When I made my way back I was turned into the pack mule of the group. It seems that they were out doing their shopping as well and Lilly just happened to have a strong set of arms to carry everything, willingly. After the shopping excursion, we returned home only to find that I still had to chop wood for the stove. Good thing the axe has a new handle! By the time I finished I couldn't lift my arms. Once inside I sat down and nearly passed out. I realized that I really hadn't had much to drink these past few days and I was really feeling it. I could barely fill a glass. Ma finally let up and said that my punishment was over. I went upstairs took a shower and fell asleep on the couch. I was woken at dinner time and allowed to eat at the table. Food never tasted so good. I don't think I've been this hungry since before Ma and Pa took me in.

Post script: I'm really going to enjoy this bed.

August 3, 1891

Today is the first day of school for Bobby and Lilly. As such Ma, Banit and I are walking them to school. I am so very glad I did. Lilly spotted her friends first and ran up to join them in a chorus of giggles and squeals. What made the day was Bobby's reception. Apparently word of him saving his sister and I has spread and all the girls in the school came to greet him, much to his embarrassment. He looked to me to save him but I could only say "Sorry kid you're on your own this time. This is what happens when you play the hero." Ma smacked me in the back of the head again, but laughed anyways. We said our goodbyes and watched as Bobby desperately tried to squeeze through the crowd to get inside. It wasn't until the teacher came out that he was freed.

Ma took Banit to her lessons leaving me on my own. I didn't really feel like doing all that much today. I had initially given Bobby's share of the bounty to Ma for her to put in the bank, but I did that for her today. The banker was very surprised to hear that I was setting up an account for an eight year old but even more so when I told him how he earned his money. I managed to get an interest bearing savings account set up so that his money will grow as he does. I put Ma's name as well as mine on the account so that it doesn't get lost. That took quite a while longer than what I thought it would so afterwards I left and had lunch. At the restaurant I happened upon Jr. Harcourt and Ms. Fellows. They were spending lunch together. They were happy to see me and asked me to join them. They were planning their wedding and gave me my invitation. Jr. asked me to be his best man, I wholeheartedly accepted. Ms. Fellows asked me if I thought that Lilly and Banit would like to be in her bridal party. I told her that they'd love too but that she'd need to explain it to Banit. They've set the date for November, 14 of this year. I'm going to make sure that I'm available. We talked about it for a while before leaving. Those two are going to be great together.

I went for a walk after lunch and was walking past Mr. Brooks' store so I popped in to see how things were going. Henry was sweeping the floors while Mr. Brooks took inventory. They were both very glad to see me. Henry said that he has more money and things now than he ever did when he was stealing them. He smiled and added "The best part is it's honest." Mr. Brooks looked like a proud father. Henry said that he's been learning his letters as well and hopes to be able to read soon. That's great! I'm so glad I took a chance on him. Just goes to show that even though he's a rat, he's still a good person. Never judge a book by its cover. He asked if Banit was with me. I thought that maybe he had feelings for her so I said "Sorry, she's not with me." He gave a sigh of relief and said "Thank God!" I laughed and asked him why that is. He responded "She nearly destroyed the store last time she came in, and I just finished setting up all the new displays. I've never seen nobody so bad at moving her own dang self as her." I laughed, if only he knew.... Left from there and for some odd reason I ended up at The Pasture.

The Girls there were unusually happy to see me. I found out the reason why soon enough. I was roped into helping them rearrange the tables and chairs and they wanted my help to move the heavy tables. It was mid afternoon by the time we finished. Alice still is scared of me but she's at least able to do her work. Ma put on a good display on how she stays so strong. A new keg of beer arrived and it took two men to unload it off of the wagon. It took Ma to carry it in and set it on the stand. The delivery men just stood there shaking their heads in disbelief. That's why no one messes with Ma. During this Joey came out with Banit, even Banit couldn't believe it. Banit went over to the stand and tried to lift the keg but couldn't even get it to wiggle. Her eyes said everything that her mouth couldn't. We finished setting up and Banit and I left. We tried to meet up with Lilly and Bobby but were too late so we went home instead. All Banit could talk about was seeing Ma carry that keg. Bobby asked if I could lift it. I told him that I could probably get one side but that Ma is very much the strongest person in the neighborhood. They couldn't believe it either. I asked them how their first day back at school was and was bombarded by Lilly talking about her friends and this and that and this other thing. She was very excited. Bobby just said that he had fun and that Fred and Sam really are going to school. I asked them if they had any homework and they do. They both have to write an essay of what they did over the summer break. I'm sure Bobby's teacher is going to love reading his. I wonder if I should go hide. After we finished talking I set them to work on their papers. Banit and I made dinner in the meantime. I've learned that as long as she doesn't need to move her feet that she's actually a big help. I had her chop some vegetables and crush some nuts for Lilly and Bobby while I cooked us a small chicken and rice dish. It's so nice having someone else that eats meat! After dinner, the kids went back to work on their homework so I cleaned up and joined Banit on the couch. She was reading a book. I thought that I'd make myself available to her in case she needed help but I'm almost disappointed in how little she needed me. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of her and love that she's getting comfortable in English. It's just that I just felt a bit left out.

Lilly finished her paper first so she went upstairs and took a bath and got ready for bed. Banit did the same a little while later. Bobby stayed hard at work. I finally stopped him when it was getting close to bedtime. He had almost written a book. I told him to finish it up and take bath before bed. An hour later and he'd finally gone to sleep, that's my plan as well as soon as I finish writing this. Today was a very busy day!

August 4, 1891

So after being so busy yesterday I figured I'd just take it easy. Boy I was wrong again. I walked the kids to school, then Banit to her lessons only to be recruited by Ma to help clean. Next to Ma I'm the tallest one here so I ended up cleaning all the high things. I forgot that Ma always cleans the saloon from top to bottom in August. That's fine its easy work and I didn't have anything better to do. Besides I certainly can't complain about the company. It took almost all day but we managed to get most of it done. Ma asked me to help again tomorrow. By the time I got back home, Lilly and Bobby had almost finished their homework and Banit was busy cleaning up another one of her messes. Luckily she hasn't broken anything expensive, yet, and the only person she's hurt is me and Henry's feelings.

We spent the afternoon playing that Crokinole game again. It's really a lot of fun. That's when there was a knock on the door. It was Jr. and Ms. Fellows. I invited them in and Lilly made some tea for them. We talked a while and Ms. Fellows then told Lilly and Banit that they were getting married soon and asked them to be part of her bridal party. She asked Lilly to be the flower girl and Banit to be one of the bride's maids. Banit didn't understand but was happy to be invited. Lilly was ecstatic to be the flower girl. She jumped up and down saying that she's always wanted to do that. Jr., Bobby and I adjourned to the back porch while the girls explained the wedding ceremony to Banit. Jr. saw that Bobby looked like he was feeling left out and asked him if he'd be the ring bearer. Bobby nearly jumped in excitement and said that he'd love to. Since we were on the topic I asked Jr. what we would be wearing. He said that Ms. Fellows really liked the tuxedos that Bobby and I wore while caroling during Christmas and wanted the Groomsmen to be wearing something like that while he wore the same style with white tie and vest. He asked me from where did I get it and I told him Dutchy made them for us. He got very quiet. Jr. doesn't really like Dutchy all that well. He doesn't hate Dutchy, he's just uneasy around him. That's understandable. Dutchy takes a bit of getting used to. I offered to go with him if he was going to get Dutchy to make one for him. He gladly accepted. We talked about this and that for quite a while. Nothing of any real importance, and we went back inside to check on the girls. They looked like a bunch of old hens sitting around clucking at each other. We joined in and I asked who else was going to be in the wedding party. Ms. Fellows said that she was going to ask Joey to be her Maid-of-Honor and some other girls I haven't met yet were also in there. Jr. gave me a grave look and told me to leave the bride's maids alone. Ms. Fellows and Lilly nodded in agreement. I gave my word that the bridal party is off limits. I wanted to change the subject so I invited them to stay for dinner. It took some convincing but they did. Ms. Fellows and Lilly offered to cook but Lilly kindly banished Banit from the kitchen. I had her join me on the couch. After dinner, we talked and played games far too late, past the kid's bedtimes. So Jr. and Ms. Fellows took their leave and I sent the kids to bed.

Its times like these that make me consider settling down and getting married. Then again, it's awfully fun not being tied down. After all, I can't really see me getting a real job.

Post script: I wonder if I was to settle down if Jr. would hire me in their store. Ha!

August 5, 1891

Last night Jr. and Ms. Fellows asked me if I'd talk to Dutchy and Mrs. Young about making the wardrobe for the wedding. I know it's still a bit early but the more they figure out now the better it'll be when the day comes. So after walking the kids and Banit to class I headed over to talk with them.

It has been quite a while since I last spoke with Dutchy. I think it was back in April before my trip. Was he ever excited to see me! He made me sit and tell him everything that happened and was shocked to hear about Bobby. We spoke for a good hour or two. After I got him caught up on all the current events, honestly I think he knows more about them than I do, I asked him about making a few tuxedos for a wedding. I should have worded that better as he thought that I was getting married. It took another fifteen minutes to get him settled down and to explain that I was the best man not the groom. I told him that they loved the tuxedoes that he made for Bobby and me and asked if he could make more for the rest of the groomsman and a white version for Jr. He responded with "Zoes are vat poor people vear. Zey are no good. I make better! You bring me ze groom and I show you vat I can do." If Dutchy says he can do better then he can do better. I don't know how but he can. I told him that I'd bring Jr. in as soon as I could. He hurried me out. I then headed over to Mrs. Young's shop. I was greeted by a very happy Ms. Warren. She looked so much better. I never realized just how young she really is. She's only a few years older than me but she always looked so much older. I suppose that's what happens when you're stuck with someone like that bastard Ben. I told her I was here to ask about getting a few dresses made. She called Mrs. Young out. It was a nice change of pace talking with her. She's not as excitable as Dutchy. I told her about Ms. Fellows getting married and asked her how long it would take to get the wedding dress and bridal party's dresses made. She said the sooner the better because some could take a couple of weeks to make and that she gets a lot of business that time of year. I didn't know what to ask about beyond that so I left in search of Ms. Fellows and Jr.

I found Jr. in the shop. He's always very easy to find. I told him what Dutchy said and that he was very excited about starting on them. Jr. said that he couldn't get off until Mr. Harcourt returned but would go either today or tomorrow if I'd go with him. I couldn't help but laugh. I asked him where I could find Ms. Fellows and he said that she'd either be at home or the library. The library is closer so I went there first. I didn't find her so I went by her house. Their maid answered and told me that she was out shopping but would be happy to pass on a message. I left her a message and went home.

I spent nearly the entire day running around for them and I never stopped to eat lunch. I didn't want to make a full meal so I searched the pantry for a snack to tie me over until dinner. Lilly caught me and complained that I'd ruin my appetite if I snacked now. Guess I'm going hungry. Jeez, Lilly can be such a mom at times. So instead of a snack I was given homework help duty. She needed help with her arithmetic homework. After we finished, Bobby handed me a note from his teacher. She had read his paper and was shocked to hear about him saving Lilly and me and was really mad about him getting arrested. She's requested that I come in to talk with her. Damn.

Banit was on the couch so I ended up lying in her lap again. I'm really making a habit out of that aren't I? Lilly puffed her cheeks out at me again, so I pulled her down and sat her on the other side of the couch and lied in her lap. Banit grumbled a bit then lay down on top of me. Lilly tried to escape but gave up and ended up petting my head. I dosed off. I woke when I felt Lilly trembling. She looked like she was in pain. I asked her what was wrong but she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said that she really needed to use the bathroom. I laughed and got up, she didn't move. I told her to go but she shook her head and said, "If I move I know that I'll wet myself." I didn't mean to but I laughed a little. She shot me an angry look and told me not to laugh. I offered to carry her upstairs but she shook her head. I told her that her only choices were to walk there herself, let me carry her, or go right where she is. She almost started crying so I made the decision to carry her. When she came downstairs I asked her if she felt better, she shyly nodded. I said "It's a good thing you made it. Bobby and I agreed that if you didn't that we were going to call you Puddles." Bobby burst out laughing but I got the kick in the shin.

Post script: My shin still hurts.

August 6, 1891

Today's Thursday and so Ma's off. We're planning on me walking the kids to school and speaking to Bobby's teacher and then afterwards I'm to meet up with Ma and we're going shopping for Banit's birthday gifts. It's sad to say but I think I'm more interested in shopping than what the teacher has in store for me. I'll tell you about it later.

Well, the teacher thinks I'm a pathetic worthless waste of an otter and has informed me about it fully. She says that I shouldn't be allowed to be around kids and has threatened to shoot me if anything happens to them. Wonderful... couldn't get a word in edgewise with her. Never mind the fact that I told Bobby to stay at the house, or that I wasn't anywhere near them when he saved Lilly. No use trying to change her mind, she has it set against me. It took an hour but I was finally freed. I was almost excited to join Ma. I neglected to tell her about it.

I have no idea as to what Banit would want. She has a few dresses already and doesn't really need much. Ma didn't really know either. We then consulted Joey. She suggested that Banit would like some jewelry and other pretty things. Not a bad idea. I don't think she has a lot of trinkets like that. I think the only jewelry she has is the bracelet I got her in Denver. Ma and I went looking for something that she might like when we passed by a bookstore. Banit has been working hard to learn English, and can even read some, but can't read most of my books as they are a bit too advanced for her. So I thought that maybe she'd enjoy a couple of new books. I had the clerk help me pick out a few that she might like and that would challenge her a bit without being too difficult. We then headed over to a jewelry store. There we picked out a necklace, and some other trinkets including a nice brooch. From there I thought that maybe Banit would like a fancy dress. We headed over to Mrs. Young's and talked to her about making one for Banit. She complained about it being so soon but with Ms. Warren's help she could probably do it. I left the details up to her. Ma just asked her to try and make sure that it's something that she won't be tripping over constantly. Ms. Warren laughed thinking we were joking. The rest of us just shook our heads. Banit's a mess but she's fun and tries hard.

We finished in time to walk the kids back from school. I couldn't help but laugh. Poor Bobby was being hounded by just about every girl near his age. He could hardly get away. He looked up at me and said "I'm never saving you again!" I nearly cried I was laughing so hard. The look on his face was priceless. Oh, Bobby. You'll come to want that kind of attention someday soon. Until then it's just annoying. Today's homework was fairly easy so Bobby was soon off playing with his friends and Lilly came to me asking for money. She wanted to get Banit something for her birthday. I gave her five dollars and told her to get herself something too if she wanted. She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek in return. Banit came in and only saw the kiss. She felt the need to join in but Ma stopped her. Probably a good thing too, I'm fairly certain that Lilly would have gotten mad about that and would have gotten even.

It's pretty quiet right now. Kids are out doing their things. Ma and Banit are in the kitchen cooking. I have nothing better to do right now than to just enjoy myself. I really love days like this.

August 7, 1891

Banit and I didn't have much to do today so we spent most of it cleaning up around the house. I counted the number of times Banit fell today. Eight, eight times she fell or tripped over her own feet. I don't know if I'm upset about that or if I'm proud that she's fallen less today than most other days. I, I'm a bit confused. I'm going to stop thinking about it and head out to The Pasture. Lilly's performing tonight and said that Alice and Joey have worked out a new dance routine. I'm rather excited to see it.

August 8, 1891

It's amazing what happens when two really good dancers work together. I have a feeling that they are going to be the talk of the town for a while.

Today was a slow day. It's been raining since this morning and so we've been stuck inside. Ma left for The Pasture and Lilly wants me to carry her there for her show. I don't know about carrying her but I'll certainly escort her.

Wow it's raining hard. Wind has picked up too. I don't like the looks of this, Lilly will stay home. I'm going to go check on Ma and the Girls before it gets too bad. They may need my help over there.

It's crowded here now. I went to The Pasture and Ma was busy boarding up the windows. The girls inside were getting things up off of the floor. It's not often but sometimes water can get up inside the place. I helped Ma with the windows and once done we lifted the heavier things upstairs including the piano. We managed to get everything closed up and as protected as we could. Most of the girls live nearby but on their own and Joey lives upstairs. Ma invited them to ride out the storm at the house. So, now we have Joey, Lilly, Banit, and Alice staying in one room, and some of the other girls in my and Bobby's room, the remaining are in the living room or sharing Ma's room. Bobby and I are sleeping on the floor wherever we can find space. That is if everyone calms down enough to go to sleep. It's like we're having a party here.

On a side note, it was probably a good thing that they came with us. Ma tied a rope around her waist and had the girls hang on to it. I had the tail end. The wind was so bad that I doubt a few of them would have made it on their own.

August 9, 1891

It's still raining but not as bad as last night. Luckily we didn't have much damage here. We only lost a tree that was blown over which I'll deal with as soon as the storm passes. I checked on The Pasture and its fine for the most part. A couple of windows were broken and it lost some shingles but is otherwise undamaged. We've invited Joey to stay with us until everything is fixed at the saloon.

The storm passed just past noon so I'm going to see if I can get the windows replaced, I doubt the hardware store will have any though.

I was right the hardware store didn't have any but I placed an order for some and got some shingles instead. Bobby volunteered to help me and with his help I managed to get the roof fixed in no time. I don't know how but the inside stayed dry except for where the windows broke. The girls had that cleaned up quickly and The Pasture is ready for business. I'll be leaving the broken windows boarded up but we cleared the rest.

When we got home Lilly said that Mr. Harcourt came by to check on us. He said that we got lucky, our neighborhood was spared but some on the other side of the city were either flooded or blown down. This was a bad storm.

Bobby and I dealt with that fallen tree. It was a small tree so it wasn't that big of a problem but it left a big hole in the front yard. I may plant another tree there in a couple of days. I managed to talk with Ma a bit about Banit's birthday tomorrow. I know that we set the date arbitrarily but I'd still like to stick with it. Ma said that she'll close the saloon down for the next couple of days so we can have a party there. It's always best to try to get back to normal as soon as possible. We'll have a party for her and then we'll worry about the rest later.

After dinner the Girls went home. Joey will be staying until the windows are fixed. One of them was in her room after all. We gave her use of my and Bobby's room. We helped her carry a few of her things over. I can't tell if Bobby is embarrassed or excited about her staying over. Ah, first love. Ha!

August 10, 1891

Today's the big day, Banit's first birthday party. She woke up excited. Because of the storm we're having it in The Pasture but it should still be fun. It was actually a bit hard calming her down. All she wanted to do was help but she was getting a bit in the way. Sometimes I wonder if she really is as old as she claims to be. Ma put me on Banit duty, which means I'm to keep her occupied until about four in the afternoon then I'm to escort her to the party. I gave Ma the gifts we purchased and watched as she and Joey left for the saloon. I almost had to hold Banit to keep her from following. I asked Banit if there was anything that she'd like to do until the party. I was expecting her to pull me up to the bedroom but instead she wanted to go shopping, just the two of us. She put on her nicest dress and off we went.

Luckily the shopping district nearby was open so there was plenty to do. We must have visited every store. We were walking by the dry goods store when Henry saw us. He quickly "closed" the store. Mr. Brooks saw that and scolded him. I laughed. Banit was a bit embarrassed but apologized to Henry for knocking over his displays. We talked for a bit and headed off again. By lunch time we had worked up a good appetite. As we were dressed fairly nicely I took her to one of my favorite restaurants. It's not a formal dining establishment but it still is a very nice place to eat. I told her to order whatever she wanted. I was reading the menu when I saw that Banit had a confused look on her face. I asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I can not read this. What does it say?" I looked and the garcon had accidentally given her one written in French. I traded menus with her and got the attention of another staff member and requested one in English. Banit looked at me sheepishly and thanked me. We ate and talked about this and that, really nothing at all. As we left I asked if she wanted to go anywhere else. She shook her head and said that she was a bit tired and wanted to take a nap. She told me she was so excited about her party that she couldn't sleep. I guess it was catching up to her. We went back home and she's currently resting. I think I may take the opportunity to do the same. Lilly and Bobby are to come home first anyways so they'll wake us up.

At about two there was a knock on the door, it was Mrs. Young. She said that they just finished Banit's dress and wanted to make sure that it got here today. I was a bit surprised. To be honest I had forgotten about it. I thanked her profusely and paid her for it. I invited her and Ms. Warren to the party as well. She said that if they finish the work for the day that they'd be there. She left just as Lilly and Bobby were arriving. They looked just as excited for Banit's party as if it were their own. We quickly finished their homework and sent Bobby up to take a bath, he was filthy. We left a bit late but we managed to get to the party. Banit saw the large box in my hands as we walked and kept asking "What is? What is?" I had to hold it high over my head to keep her from grabbing it. She was just having fun, but Lilly got a bit jealous that Banit got to hang off of my arm and not her. I gave Bobby the box and held Lilly's hand until we reached the saloon.

Oh, what a party! Dancing, singing, more fun than you can shake a stick at! We showed up and Banit was stunned at everyone that came. Ms. Fellows and Lilly started performing which got Joey and Alice dancing, and before long everyone was out bouncy to and fro. I tried to dance with Banit but she kept tripping over her feet. To get around this problem I picked her up just off of the floor and danced with her in my arms. She was a bit embarrassed but had fun anyways. Lilly puffed up and pinched me. That little bunny has STRONG fingers! Mr. Harcourt and Mr. Brooks came, bringing food. Well Henry carried most of it. We stopped long enough to eat and were back dancing. It was quite late when we remembered that we brought presents and cake for Banit. We finally got everyone settled and had Banit up on the stage while we presented her with her gifts. She got a lot of jewelry and trinkets, which she loved. When she finally opened my gift she was speechless. She started crying she was so happy. Mrs. Young said it's called a walking suit. It rides just high enough that even Banit shouldn't be tripping over it. It really is a beautiful dress. Joey and Alice suggested that they go upstairs and try it on. That got a few cheers. So Banit was joined by Joey, Alice, Lilly, Ma, and Mrs. Young, I don't think she had any problems getting changed. When she came back down she was stunning. Mrs. Young really outdid herself on this one. It fit perfectly, even left me a bit at a loss for words. We were so caught up that we didn't notice the time. It was after midnight before the party started to wind down. Mr. Harcourt volunteered to take Lilly and Bobby home, and some of the others slowly started filtering out. It was nearly 3am before we finally made our way home. Banit was exhausted but was beyond happy. I was helping her walk when she surprised us and said "Ah-ah emay, Ma, I love you". I don't know what to say so I'll leave it at that.

August 11, 1891

It was difficult getting Lilly and Bobby up for school. I think we kept them up a bit too late. We got them dressed, fed and on their way. Afterwards Ma and I went back to bed. We let Banit sleep in as well. She didn't stir until noon, then again we didn't either. Joey didn't come down until early afternoon. We spent most of today going through Banit's presents when Joey had a great idea.

Banit had said that she wants to thank each and every person that came to her party. Joey mentioned that she should try to write them a thank you letter. Banit loved the idea of that and wanted to try. I brought down some of my better stationary and my nice pen. Joey showed her how to write with pen and ink, and before too long Banit was off writing her thank you letters. Joey helped her with spelling and grammar but beyond that she did wonderfully. Honestly it looks like a five-year-old wrote it but the important thing is Banit wrote them herself. She continues to amaze and confuse me. She's so intelligent that she was able to learn a new language, and how to read and write it, in just a few months. Yet, she can't make it from her bedroom to the front door without tripping.

I couldn't help but see that Banit had all kinds of jewelry and accessories but no place to keep them. I snuck out and over to Mr. Harcourt's. I asked him if he had a jewelry box for sale. He didn't but pointed me to a place that does. I hurried over and talked with them. I was able to get a somewhat small but very ornate box, even had a mirror under the lid. I think she'll love it. Best part is it comes with a twin so I was able to get one for Lilly as well. I made it back long before Banit noticed I was gone. I waited until Lilly returned from school before I gave them their jewelry boxes. Banit was so excited that she gave me a kiss on the cheek. Lilly, not to be outdone, did the same. They hurried upstairs and started playing with them and organizing their trinkets. Girls...

I guess I should mention Bobby. He was exhausted. He said that he didn't get enough sleep and spent most of the day running away from the girls in his class. We let him nap on the couch until dinner. After dinner he and Lilly sat down and did their homework.

Post Script: I forgot to mention. A messenger came by and said that the windows that I ordered should be here in a couple of days.

August 12, 1891

Today was much like any other. Kids went off to school. Ma went to check on The Pasture. Joey helped Banit finish her thank you letters. Me? Would you like to know what I did? I'll tell you. I didn't do a damn thing.

August 13, 1891

I didn't do much this morning. Mainly read a book. The new windows came in today just before noon so I spent the rest of the day installing them. The Girls were glad to have them and were quick in getting the curtains back up. Ma said that she's planning on opening tomorrow so we need to get everything ready today. I had just finished the last window when we heard a bit of a ruckus outside. Lilly had Bobby by the ear and was nagging him to death. Ma and I asked what the fuss was about but Lilly was talking so fast we couldn't understand her. Bobby had a letter in his hand though. The letter was from his teacher. She said that Bobby had gotten into a fight at school today and she demanded to see us. Ma and I took Bobby back to school. Lilly started to follow us but her nagging was incessant. First time I've had to yell at her. I don't think I was mean but she quieted down. All I said was "Lilly! Enough! We'll handle this, go home."

At school, the teacher kept nagging and nagging at us without telling what started the fight. The other boy was there with his parents, they were looking quite smug. I tried to find out what the fight was about, but she wouldn't say. Ma got mad and slammed her fist on the desk breaking the corner off. She growled "Someone wanna tell me what started all this, or are ya gonna keep me in the dark?" Bobby finally spoke up. He said that the other boy was picking on a girl and when she tried to get away the boy hit her. So he hit the boy and the fight started. The boy and his parents said that Bobby was lying but I know better. We were yelling back and forth when a little fox girl came in. She wanted to thank Bobby for protecting her. She told us what had happened and that she's told the teacher several times about it but the teacher didn't believe her. I looked the teacher in the eye and told her that Bobby did nothing wrong and will not be punished for anything. She started to say something but Ma cracked her knuckles. That was enough to shut her up. We then walked out.

When we got home, Lilly was waiting ready to tear into Bobby. I stopped her by flicking her ear and telling her Bobby did nothing wrong and to leave him alone. Ma quickly made dinner and we ate mostly in silence. Afterwards I took him into the bedroom, sat him down and talked to him about what happened. I then told him something that Pa told me when I was young.

"Son, you are strong, you are noble, and you are brave. These are great things and nothing to be ashamed of. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. However these great gifts must be tempered or else they'll become sins. You are strong, so you must be kind. Never force your will upon another or else you'll become nothing more than a brut. You are noble, you want to protect the weak but that doesn't mean that you must oppress the wrongdoers. Be a lantern to show them the correct path. Son, you are brave, don't let that bravery lead you astray. Use your head and your judgment. Never start a fight, always finish it. Respect yourself, if you don't who will? Respect others as you respect yourself; show them respect even if they haven't earned it yet. I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and require the same from them."

I added "There's also no shame in walking away. Sometimes the best way to fight is to let them think they're right."

I'm not sure he understands but he's a smart kid and has a good head on his shoulders so I'm sure he'll figure it out. When I came back downstairs Ma had already told the girls what had happened. Lilly was upset. I think she realized was a brat she was being. As soon as Bobby came down Lilly ran over, hugged him and kept apologizing. Bobby got annoyed and said "It's alright Sis. Quit fussing, wasn't a big deal." We cheered up after that. The kids finished their homework and since it was still early we played some games until bedtime.

Post script: That was the first time I heard Bobby call Lilly Sis. I missed my chance. Damn. Gonna have to wait for another opportunity to tease him. He doesn't leave many openings.

August 14, 1891

Today's Friday and it's also the first day that The Pasture will open since the storm. Yesterday's fiasco with Bobby drew Ma and me away. I hope we can get it ready for tonight. I think we'll have to work extra hard today. Right now Ma and I are waiting for Banit and Joey to finish getting dressed before we leave. The kids just left for school and they know the drill. Bobby will be staying with the Warren boys tonight.

I'm beat. I don't know how but we managed to get all of the tables and chairs down. The Girls took it upon themselves yesterday to clean up the place and get it decorated. They weren't able to get any of the tables down as they were too heavy. Ma and I took care of that though, the piano liked to have killed me. We finished setting up and Ma went home to bathe and get herself looking presentable as did the rest of the girls. I'm stuck here until they return. I've gotten a few people poking their heads in and I told them that we'll be open as usual tonight and to expect a good show.

Ms. Fellows showed up and she's putting the piano through its paces. Alice and Joey are upstairs stretching and getting ready. Lilly should be by soon she usually comes about five to six o'clock. I'm just about Never mind, Ma just arrived so I'm off to get cleaned up.

-I'm writing this on the next day as I had forgotten to do so last night.-

The Pasture was packed full of people tonight! Everyone was out having fun. Lilly and Mary's music was energetic. Alice and Joey had everyone up and dancing with them. It was as if we were having a big party tonight. Strangely we didn't have any trouble out of anyone. Guess even the troublemakers were too busy enjoying themselves. This was the first time in a long time I saw Ma dance. She's not exactly graceful but she was having fun. She danced with Banit, oh what a scene that was, a brut dancing with a klutz. That earned a lot of laughs and cheers. Ma saw me, grabbed my arm and dragged me into it. Like Banit she picked me up and danced with me like a child would a ragdoll. I'm fairly certain that she both straightened and bent my spine several times. She eventually released me and quickly was in search of a new dance partner. She switched from one man to another as she could catch them. It became a bit of a game. Some of the men would push their friends over to Ma who'd dance with them. She had a great time. Once I recovered, I made my way over to Joey and we danced for a while. Much to the amusement of Lilly, who shot me angry looks. Mary gave Lilly a break and played a couple songs so that she could dance. Joey gladly let Lilly cut in. I've never danced with anyone so...short. I will admit that despite her height, Lilly is a good dancer. I wonder if she's been getting lessons. We danced a couple of songs before Ma wanted in. She reached for me but I gave her Lilly instead. Ma was suddenly very gentle but danced anyways. That was when I saw the clock it was three in the morning! This was much too late for Lilly to be up. I pointed this out to Ma who quickly stopped the show and yelled out, "Sorry folks, but due to it being way past her bedtime our singer will be calling it a night!" She held Lilly up, "Say goodnight to everyone Bunny." Lilly was embarrassed but called out "Goodnight", which was met with a chorus of "Goodnight" and "Sweet Dreams" and such. Lilly turned ten shades of red but managed to wave to everyone on her way out. I was walking her home when I heard Banit calling for me. I turned just in time to see her trip and fall into a water trough. Lilly and I couldn't help but laugh. We helped her out and the three of us walked home together. Ma came home some time around dawn.

August 15, 1891

This morning was spent sleeping. Ma didn't wake until noon, Lilly and Banit didn't make a peep until one o'clock. Bobby came home for a little while but only long enough to grab his fishing pole and to tell me that he was going fishing with his new friend Charlie. I'm glad he made another friend. One can't have too many friends.

Once everyone was up I made breakfast, or would that be lunch? We ate and mainly rested. Banit didn't look too well. I thought that she was still tired from last night. Ma told her to spend the day in bed resting. She resisted at first but one look from Ma changed her mind. Ma and Lilly spent the day relaxing and reading. I took my suits in to get cleaned. I'd do it myself but the daughter of the laundry owner is awfully cute. While I like to flirt with her, she has marriage on her mind. I'm really not looking for a wife at this time.

I didn't feel like doing much today so I went back home. There was a bit of a fuss upstairs. Banit is sick, very sick. Ma sent Lilly out after the doctor. The doctor came and examined her. He said that she caught the Flu and has ordered bed rest and lots to drink, but he also said that she'll be fine in a day or so. He gave us some medicine that he said helps with the nausea and told us that if she's not back on her feet in a couple of days that we should take her to his clinic. As he left Ma told Lilly "Bun, you stay away from Banit 'til she gets better. Till then she's Flint's problem." I looked at Ma and was about to ask her 'why me' when she popped out, "What? You don' 'spect me get sick too do ya?" She laughed and told me that she has to get to the saloon.

Therefore for the next day or two I'm not going to do much of anything except tend to Banit. She's sleeping now, I don't know if she usually does this or not but she's talking in her sleep. In her dream she's at one of her lessons and Joey is making her spell words out loud, "House, H-O-U-S-E, Mouse, M-O-U-S-E, etc." I'll have to ask Lilly about that.

Bobby came home just before dinnertime as usual. I told him about Banit and to keep his distance for now. He was excited to tell me about his day. He, Will, the Warren boys, and Charlie went fishing and Fred caught a really big catfish. They were having trouble getting it in when Charlie jumped in and pulled it up by hand. It must have been a big fish, and that Charlie sounds like a lot of fun.

Lilly left after dinner and I tried to get Banit to eat some soup. She tried but couldn't hold it down. Poor girl, I wish I could take her sickness away even if that meant that I'd have it instead. Bobby and I are playing cards to wile away the rest of the day.

August 16, 1891

Banit isn't doing much better today, so for obvious reasons I'm not going to Church today. Lilly told me that the show was much better last night than it was Friday. It must have been great. Ma's been keeping the kids out of the house today, not that that's ever been a problem. Bobby was off to play with Charlie and Will. Lilly went shopping with her friends. She has a distinct advantage over them. She actually gets paid. I will say this much for her, she saves most of what she earns.

Ma brought porridge for Banit. She was finally able to hold something down. After her lunch, I gave her a sponge bath. She was embarrassed but felt better afterwards. Doc came by to check on her. He said that she's doing great and should be up and about before we know it. It was nice of him to go out of his way and see her. It's not a short trip here from his office.

Today was spent mainly playing nurse to Banit. Even Lilly didn't complain about Banit getting all the attention. We all turned in early. Since Banit's in the girl's room, Lilly is staying with Bobby in his room. I'm in Lilly's bed. It smells very feminine, must be the perfume she always wears.

August 17, 1891

Monday and the kids are off to school. Banit is taking the day off from her lessons but she does seem to be feeling better. She's still weak and woozy so it's even more difficult for her to make the stairs but I helped her down and she's on the couch. I think it'll be good for her to get out of that room for a bit. Ma's up there cleaning it and airing it out. We spent the day reading and playing games. We'd play until Banit got tired and she'd rest on the couch.

Ma hurried off to The Pasture just before Lilly and Bobby got back from school. Bobby was complaining about all the schoolgirls following him around and not leaving him alone. He said that they started calling him Lancelot. He didn't know what that meant. I told him that Lancelot was a knight in Old England who was the bravest and strongest of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table. He looked up at me and asked if that makes me Arthur. I couldn't help but laugh. I just said "That or one of his fools." We both laughed.

The rest of the day was about what you'd expect, homework, dinner, a few games with Banit, and an early trip to bed. Oh! I almost forgot to mention. Banit tried and tried to make it up the stairs but couldn't. I had to carry her up. I had made it about half way when I heard a sound like a muffled groaning coming from behind me. I turned and looked only to catch a glimpse of Lilly puffing her cheeks at me. She quickly tried to hide it but I saw it. Bobby did too. He looked up at her and said "Why don't you just tell him?" Lilly looked confused and asked "Tell him what?" Bobby leaned in and smiled, "That you love him!" and took off running. Lilly was stunned and embarrassed. She yelled at him "You little brat! You're gonna pay for that!" and chased him through the house. I sat Banit down on the steps and ran after the siblings. I caught Bobby under one arm and Lilly under the other. Bobby was laughing his tail off and Lilly was so mad! I had to calm her down first. She was about to tear into him. Banit was on the stairs crying she was laughing so hard. I had almost gotten them calmed down when Ma came home. She stomped in yelling, "What's all this racket about? Why ain't they in bed yet? And what are y'all doing?" Bobby smiled and replied, "Lilly's just mad that I told Flint that she loves him!" Lilly rebuffed, "Bobby! How dare you say such things?" Ma gave Bobby a quick spank and told him not to pester his sister and to behave. She then looked at Lilly and said "Lilly, sweetie, everyone knows, including Flint, if you deny it then it only makes teasing you more fun. Believe me, Flint was the same way." Lilly blushed deeply, Bobby and I just looked at each other and laughed. I was afraid that Banit might pass out she was laughing so hard. It was very quiet in the house as the kids got ready for bed. I think even Ma was waiting to see what would happen. Nothing did. I'm almost disappointed in that.

August 18, 1891

Things are somewhat...tense. Lilly is still extremely embarrassed from last night and is hiding from me. I'm not good with this kind of thing so I don't know what to do. Do I leave it alone or should I talk to her? Bah! Why can't things be simple? Anyways, I've got the day to think of something. The kids are at school, Ma's at the saloon and Banit is taking it easy today by lazing about the house. She's feeling much better. We may go for a walk so that she can get some fresh air.

Mr. Harcourt came by. He heard that Banit was sick, bit late if you ask me, and wanted to come and check on her. Sometimes I think he considers my rescues as his own family. He's way too nice, brought her some oranges and other light snacks. He fussed over her like an overprotective father. Then again he was the same way with me when I got sick. Since he was here I felt that I should ask him about Lilly. I told him about last night and this morning. I asked what he thought I should do. He thought about it for a while smiled and said "Good Luck". A lot of help he is. He left after a while and I thought about Lilly. I guess I should talk to her but I have no idea on what to say. Just what do you say to a girl that you consider your daughter when she falls in love with you? "Sorry you're too young." Or "Sorry, I don't feel that way about you." Both seem like they'd devastate her. I don't want to hurt her. DAMMIT! I'll just leave things be until I can think of something.

Kids came home. I didn't want things to be awkward so I just acted like nothing happened. Lilly had a little trouble with her homework but I helped her through it. Bobby was quickly done as usual and was off. He said that they were going off to swim in the nearby creek. I told him to be careful. Lilly curled up with a book and stayed quiet. I got the feeling that she didn't want to talk so I left her alone. Banit and I sat on the front porch and watched the people go about their business. Dinner was the same as always as was getting them to bed. Bobby told me that Charlie didn't have a swimming costume and swam naked instead. Kids...What do you do? This Charlie boy seems like a wild child. He should be fun for Bobby though.

August 19, 1891

Joey came by and checked on Banit. She brought by a couple of books for Banit to read and since Banit was feeling like her old self we decided that we'd go out for lunch. We had a nice lunch at a nearby restaurant and went for a walk after. I spotted an advertisement for a Vaudeville show and so we saw it. Banit really liked the dancers. I think she wishes she could dance. She'd be a beautiful dancer if she wasn't so clumsy. She has the figure for it. The three of us spent most of the day together. Joey usually get Wednesday's off so I think she enjoyed getting entertained instead of being the entertainment.

Banit and I returned home just before dinner. Bobby was actually home before us, he was helping Lilly cook by setting the table. Lilly's a decent cook but some of her recipes are a bit...bland for me.

Post Script: Lilly seems to have gotten over her embarrassment. I never can seem to find the right time to talk with her.

August 20, 1891

Ma's off today and I've been feeling a bit cooped up so I'm going to see what I can stir up.

It's a typical weekday morning...boring. I ended up in a bookstore so I bought a book on King Arthur. I'm going to let Bobby read it and see what he thinks. There's really not much going on. Even at the docks it's just work, work, work. I can't find any entertainment. Beth my horse friend has left town, her friend Clair is busy with newly wed things. I'm stuck here with nothing to do.

Found myself thinking about all the fun I had out west. I wonder if I should head out that way again. I wouldn't mind going back to Laredo, or instead of going where I've been maybe I should find a new place. I'll think about it. Honestly I find myself missing being on the river. If nothing else I may sign up for a river tour, I'll just avoid the Rosebud riverboat. I don't think he'd appreciate my presence.

As I was wandering about Officer Papel found me. He looked almost relieved to see me. He said that they could really use some help. Apparently a murderer is on the loose and they can't find him anywhere. He said that as I have a habit of finding these people that they wanted to ask for my help. I started to back away until he mentioned that there's a great reward. He didn't know what it was but the Chief would know. I went by the station and was greeted like a hero. Chief told me that they know exactly who they're after and have all the city exits blocked. The man is a horse, bay with a diamond mark on his forehead. His name is Carson, Luke Carson. They gave me a tin type of him and asked that I catch him. They don't care the condition. I asked him who the victim was and was told that he broke into a house and was caught by the housewife. He raped and killed her, then killed the children as they saw what happened. Normally I wouldn't get involved but I can't let that slide. Chief offered up a big reward. The husband has put up $2000 and the Chief is matching that and added a special one for me. He said that if I catch him, I'll get a free pass the next time I'm arrested. I don't need the money but that last part I could use. I took the picture. I'll be hunting him. If the police have all the exits blocked then he's hiding somewhere in the city, all we have to do is find him. This isn't the kind of excitement I was wanting but what can I do? I'm not going to let this go.

After leaving the station I went back home and grabbed my gunbelt. I usually carry my derringer but that's not going to be enough. Ma saw this and asked that I make sure to come back. Banit looked like she was trying to find the right words to tell me not to go. I patted her head, kissed her cheek and smiled at her as I walked off.

Right now I'm on the roof tops near some seedy saloons waiting to see if he comes by. From my vantage point I can see the doors of three different saloons. If he comes by any one of them I'll see him.

August 21, 1891

No luck last night. I'm going to search on foot today. I think I'll walk up and down the different streets and alleys and ask around.

Someone did recognize him and said that they saw him go into a Chinese laundry yesterday. They pointed me to it and I watched it. While they do clean clothing and such, the main source of money for Chinese laundries is the opium den they usually run behind their shop. If Carson has an opium addiction then I can narrow down my search to the dens. I couldn't see anything from outside so I walked in the back door. Sure enough, opium. I had to turn a couple of addicts over but I saw that Carson was not here. These Chinese are no help either. I went by a couple of other dens that I know of. No luck. I'll come back tonight and see what I can find.

Couldn't help but notice that I'm being followed. It's by a couple of policeman so I'm not that worried about it but still. I don't like them there, they'll blow my cover. I'll have to lose them, or use them. I'll see what I can do.

So I dropped a hint to Papel that Carson frequents that opium den. He seemed surprised that I learned that so quickly, but he quickly passed on the information. I'm hiding out on a rooftop as usual watching the den. There's usually a hidden door on these places so he may escape that way. There are a few officers getting ready to rush in. Hope no one gets hurt.

August 22, 1891

Found him. He did escape. I followed him and saw where he's holing up. Fortunately there's only one way in or out of the shed. Unfortunately there's only one way in or out. I waited a while for him to calm down before I tried to get to him. He shot the door. Luckily I stood off to the side and didn't get hit. I'll just have to wait him out.

He keeps yelling at me to go away and leave him alone. I told him I can't do that and he'd be better off turning himself in. His reply was to shoot at me. It is noon now and getting awfully hot. He's got to be getting cooked in there. I don't like this. I can't go in as I'll get shot. I can't leave and get help as he'll escape. Good thing I'm a light sleeper.

It's getting dark. He still hasn't left. I can hear him every now and then cuss me. I'm getting tired of this.

Being dark I can't see the door too well. However that means that he can't see me that well either. I managed to sneak over and place a lantern near the front. I can see him quite very clearly. I'm still hiding in the shadows. Any time he sees something move he shoots at it. That gives me an idea. He can't shoot if he's out of bullets. I'll antagonize him and make him lose his judgment. If I can anger him enough I can get him to waste his bullets.

It's working. Every now and then I'll insult him and laugh at him. He's getting really mad. He'll shoot at where he thinks I am. What's taking the police so long to get here? Surely someone has reported all the shooting by now.

This would be so much easier if I wasn't trying to take him alive. I want him to face trial for what he's done.

I think he's just about out of bullets. He's shot at me at least thirty times. A couple of policemen have shown and we're working out a plan. They want him alive so I suggested that we stack some debris and empty crates around the shed and burn it. He'll leave, he'll have to. Good thing this is an abandoned property.

August 23, 1891

Carson didn't leave. We lit the shed and debris on fire and waited for him to come out. He stayed inside and burned to death. I don't want to talk about that anymore.

August 24, 1891

Papel came by with the widower. They wanted to thank me for stopping Carson. They even brought the reward. I've refused it. I don't want anything to do with that anymore.

I don't feel like writing today so forgive me if I leave you in the dark.

August 25, 1891

I can't think of anything to write.

August 26, 1891

Damn it!

August 27, 1891

I'm not feeling much better. But I think I need to get back to normality as soon as possible. I haven't been able to sleep. I keep hearing Carson screaming. I didn't like him and he probably deserved to die for what he did, but that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I know that he doesn't like me, but I think I should talk to the preacher about this.

I don't feel much better after speaking with him. I will say though, despite our differences, he was doing his best to help. I'm going to talk with Mr. Harcourt. He's the closest thing I have to a father.

Mr. Harcourt said that there was nothing I could have done. We didn't know that Carson would rather burn to death than be captured. Mr. Harcourt said, "Carson chose his path and chose his fate. He could have turned himself in, he could have sought redemption. Instead he chose to die in that shed." I think this is something I'm just going to have to learn to live with.

Strange, I've killed several people. While I never liked it, it never bothered me as I could justify it, self-defense, protecting someone, line-of-duty, etc. This one wasn't one of those. I didn't know him. He didn't do anything to me, nor did I see him do anything. Regardless I stood there and watched him burn. I hunted him, and killed him.

I do not like me right now.

This is not one of my prouder moments. However I think I should write this down. As I walked in the front door, I saw Ma standing there. For some reason I walked up to her, fell to my knees, buried my face in her apron and cried. The last time I cried was at Pa's funeral twelve years ago. I don't know how long I was there. Next thing I remember was feeling warm. When I finally looked up, Lilly, Bobby, and Banit were there hugging me. It was as if a great weight was lifted from my heart. I saw them, and knew in the deepest part of me that everything was right. If these people can care about me enough to forgive me, then I can forgive myself.

I just realized, I haven't eaten since lunch on the 23rd. I'm hungry.

Ma and the girls are busy making dinner. They're laughing and carrying on like a bunch of old biddies. Bobby and I are playing games. He's taken a bathroom break.

That was the best dinner I've had in a long time! I don't know if it was because I was so hungry, but that was so good.

August 28, 1891

I slept. Not well, but enough. Ma's asked me to help out at the saloon later but said that she won't need me until late. I busied myself with housework. Later Banit and I went shopping. It was a nice quiet day. We walked Lilly to The Pasture. Ma just wanted me to help with some of the drunks. They weren't causing any trouble they just wouldn't leave. I spent most of the night carrying them outside onto the porch.

Post Script: I rather enjoyed today.

August 29, 1891

Bobby's asked me to play with him and his friends. He wants to introduce me to his new friend Charlie. I can't wait. We're to meet them at the creek.

Ha ha ha! Oh, my. This is hilarious! So Bobby and I left to play in the creek. We met up with Sam and Fred already hard at play in the creek and a fox swinging of a rope into a deep pool. Bobby was half way undressed by the time I got my shirt unbuttoned. He was quickly jumping in. I wasn't far behind. I didn't bother bringing my swimming costume thinking that it'd be fine to swim in my underwear as well. That fox swam up as I was walking in and I saw that he was naked. I laughed and jumped in. Bobby introduced us. We were wrestling around a bit when I picked Charlie up to toss him into the pool. That's when I saw it. He is not a "He", He is a "She" and she is completely naked. I could only imagine the look on my face. I set her down and looked at her again to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I asked, "Charlie! You're a girl?" She looked at her groin, back at me, smiled and said "Yup, My outty's an inny!" I didn't know what to say. I asked if she had a swimming costume. "A-yup, but swimmin' naked is better!" I told her to at least wear her panties while swimming. She looked up at me and asked "Why?" I didn't have an answer for that. It's probably a good thing that this creek is fairly well hidden. Those are questions I'd rather not answer. While all this was going on, Fred saw some fish in the pool and tried to catch them. That quickly became the game of the day. I watched as the kids all tried to catch a fish by hand. Bobby then asked me to give it a try. It took a while but I managed to catch one. I had to swim to the bottom of the pool and come up from below. They all cheered and asked how I did it. I could only reply "Well, I am an otter after all." We spent most of the day playing and swimming. It was getting a bit late so we got dressed and headed home. As I was planning on going to The Pasture tonight I was going to ask Charlie's parents if it would be alright for him to stay the night again. Bobby and I walked her home. If it wasn't for the skirt and long disheveled hair, there'd be no way to tell that she's a girl. Charlie doesn't live all that far from us. I met her parents and introduced myself. We talked for a while before I felt that I should mention today's events. When I told them about it they laughed and said "Yeah, she does that. Sometimes it's difficult to get her to wear clothes to school." They shook their heads and said that it's alright and that she's getting better about it, although it's still very hard to convince her to wear shoes. They agreed to watch Bobby tonight. They said that he's a positive influence on her and that he's all she talks about. Sounds like puppy love. When I told them that Bobby will be staying the night, Charlie looked up at me and asked "Mistah, that mean we can keep playin'?" I said yes but only if they behave. She smiled, grabbed Bobby's hand and dragged him off to play. I spoke with her parents for a while. Nice people. Frank's a banker. He looks like it too. I wonder where Charlie got her wild streak from. Her mother, also named Charlotte, is a beauty, and has that same "not a care in the world" smile that Charlie has. I'd bet she was the same way when she was young.

Tonight, The Pasture was about the same as last night. Although there was one trouble maker, Ma bounced him.

August 30, 1891

I went to Church today. Preacher was actually nice to me. He gave a sermon on forgiveness. I think he was thinking of me when he wrote it. Ma patted me on the back, Lilly and Banit, being on either side of me, hugged me. Great, now I'm being pitied.

As soon as we got home Bobby quickly changed and was out to go play. Lilly first asked permission but she was just as eager. It was just the three of us until Joey and the Girls came by. They asked Banit if she'd like to go shopping with them. She was very excited. I gave her $20 and told her to have fun. Honestly, this lack of sleep is catching up to me. I'm a bit tired. I think I'll go nap for an hour or so.

Well, I guess I was more tired than I thought. It was dinnertime when I woke. I don't know how but Banit had snuck under me and put my head in her lap. During dinner I asked what everyone did today. Lilly went to a beauty shop with her friends and they had their hair cut and styled. Banit was all excited about shopping with the Girls. She said that a man came up to Alice and started to ask her out to dinner. Alice got scared and punched him. I'll ask Alice if she'd like help with her fear of men. Bobby looked to be busting a gut. I now understand why. He went to Charlie's house as it's on the way to the Young's house. He walked to the door in time to hear Charlie scream "NOOO!" and come running out the house in nothing but her panties. Her father chased her down the street but couldn't catch her. Bobby said that she kept yelling that she's not putting on that stupid dress. He also said that Mrs. Bancroft is really fast and was able to catch Charlie. She carried her kicking and screaming into the house. Mr. Bancroft was out of breath. He said that they were finally able to get her dressed but gave up on putting shoes on her. I asked him what the dress looked like. He said it looked like something Lilly would wear. Lilly got indignant and said "Are you saying that my dresses are stupid?" Bobby shook his head and couldn't come up with an answer quick enough. Ma and I were laughing at this point. I could see Lilly hitching up her high horse. I interjected and told her that Charlie would rather be a boy and doesn't like dresses. She looked at her plate and said "That's dumb, boys are stupid." Ma and I laughed and laughed at that. Guess she's still at that age.

After dinner I found the book I had purchased for Bobby. I gave it to him and told him to read it. Perhaps I should have waited until tomorrow. He was hooked on it very quickly. I had to take it from him and order him to go to bed. I followed him soon after. I had no sooner lain down that I heard the door open. It was Lilly and Banit wanting to crawl in with me. I let them and finally gotten settled when Ma came in and dragged them back to their room. Guess things are back to normal now.

------------------------------------End Chapter 4---------------------------------------------