Last Tango
"Last Tango" by Zeen Avery
Jason was bored. He was so bored that he unintentionally started pacing back and fourth in the small flat in which he resided for the moment. Usually when he got annoyed or bored out of his mind he ate, but because of his roommate's ridiculously diet of only lettuce and tomatoes he had no choice but to starve. Honestly if that boy became any slimmer he would resemble a toothpick.
Video games were no thrill for him either. He had already beaten most of the ones lying around, even though he hated pointless waste of time, and had even cruised through Sean's japanese RPG games, which brought him even less excitement.
The wolf was about to gather his backpack and head to the gym when the front door opened. He peered through one corner and spotted Sean taking his jacket off.
"Hey." happily waved at him the boy.
"Don't 'Hey!' me, Sean!" Jason spat "You know how long I've been waiting here?!"
"Yeah sorry about-"
"Five hours!"
"I said I was-"
"Five STINKIN' hours. I have a social life, you know. I can't just chill at home all day, slowly turning into one of your weird ass vegetables, while you prance around and-"
"I got a date!"
Jason's mouth stopped moving in mid sentence. He just stood there, gawking at the small, beaming fox, a strange feeling of awkwardness creeping inside him. "Really?" he managed to mutter, his voice cracking in the middle.
Sean nodded and his smile stretched even farther across his black muzzle. "Yup!"
Both stood there in silence for a couple of seconds. Neither one moved; while Jason nervously played with the underside of his shirt, Sean was staring holes into his flesh with a set of sparkling red eyes. 'He looks so happy,' Jason thought and his ears slightly fell backwards 'Has he already forgotten...'
"Look, Sean I-"
"Oh my god, J, he's so dreamy. His name is Kyle and he's 23. He works at that new restaurant, what's the name....'Mon Ami', as a chef. A chef!! Isn't that cool?" The fox stopped for a second to catch a breath, a second Jason took advantage of to conjure a smile. "That's nice Sean, but how long have you known him? Aren't you acting a little too fast?"
The fox tilted his head to the right, something that always made Jason want to kiss that cute forehead. He didn't though.
"Of course not silly. I met him two weeks ago. That's plenty of time." chirped Sean and skipped past him. Jason stayed there for a sec feeling the remainder of the fox's sweet musk lingering the air. With a heavy sigh he turned around and flopped himself on the couch facing the kitchen counter.
"And you know what, he studies in the same university as me. He's a senior."
"Hm, that's nice."said the wolf not really paying any attention. His mind was somewhere else, in the not so distant past, remembering sweet memories. The image of the first time he saw Sean came to his mind first. It was a cold day right in the middle of winter. The streets were covered in thick snow, so thick it was almost impossible for the cars to move, not to mention furs. Jason was on his way home, two hours earlier than he had planned. Apparently even a private university couldn't afford spending some extra cash on heat during winter, so all the students had been sent home. It didn't matter, he hated that place anyway. Most of his classmates were pricks and the ones who weren't were constantly talking about school and what test they would ace next. Losers!
There was a coffee shop only two blocks from his apartment where he liked to hang out sometimes. He ordered his usual latte, flirted with the cougar on the cash register, obviously gay, and took one of the more secluded tables in the back. Half through his drink and a couple of pages from a silly magazine he looked up, more out of habit than anything else. On the chair opposite his sat a scrawny looking fox, staring at him.
"Can I help you?" he said.
The fox just giggled and continued to stare. A smile lit on Jason's face. A thought ran through his mind and he extended a paw. 'Hi I'm Jason."
The fox smiled a silly grin and took the paw in his own. "Sean."
"Nice to meet you Sean. What can I do for you?"
Sean blushed a little and looked down at his lap. "Your phone number..."
Jason leaned forward pretending not to have heard correctly. "Sorry I didn't hear?" he said with a devious look in his eyes.
The fox looked up at Jason's face. His cheeks were flame red and he had tears in his eyes. "Never-mind!"
As fast as he had appeared Sean stood up and dashed for the door. Startled Jason looked as the small frame dogged curious people and burst out of the shop. It only took him five seconds to get his bag and coat from the floor and follow. Once outside he looked into both directions, but could not spot his target. Just when he was about to give up and go back inside he heard someone shout from across the street. He looked in that direction and saw the red-coat fox standing just a few steps from a stopped car. A cold chill ran up his spine and he felt adrenaline pump through his body. He dropped his bag and coat and ran as fast as he could toward the standing figure.
"Oh my god, are youok?" he said turning the boy around so he could face him. The fox was frozen stiff from the shock of the near death experience, so Jason had to shake him up good. "I-I-I'mok, t-thank you. I had t-to look both ways before crossing the road."
At that moment Jason couldn't help but chuckle. However, Sean took it the wrong way and his eyes watered again. He tried to wiggle his way out of the wolf's paws, but instead got pulled into a hug. Startled by the sudden show of emotions the fox pressed his face against the strong, muscular chest of the much taller male and stayed still.
"You still want my number?" said softly Jason.
"......yes, please....."
"How about we have some coffee first?"
"Ok."
From that moment onward Jason swore to himself that no matter what happened he would protect that fragile fox. He fell in love from first sight. He still loved him, even after they had broken up. It had been a tough decision for both of them, but Jason would prefer having Sean as a close friend, rather than being brushed aside. After three months of painful reminders and numerous sacrifices on his side, nothing had changed. Even now as he listened to his loved one speak of another man like that he would still die for the fox.
"Are you going out tonight?" he said with a calm voice and the best poker face he could master.
"Yup! Tonight at seven at his restaurant. He said he would cook for me." Jason's heart felt like it was going to burst when he saw his fox blush "After that we're going to a club."
Jason stayed silent for a while, just watching Sean prepare his veggie sandwich.
"Should I wait up or are you-"
The red fox turned around to face him. "I dunno. As you said I really don't know the guy that well to jump in his bed. Maybe we're gonna take it slow."
Jason rose from the cushioned sofa and walked toward Sean. The fox had turned his back to him and was busy making his snack. At first he thought that he could sneak a quick hug, but at the last second changed his mind and gently patted the red hair. "Have fun."
The fox's response came just a moment too late for Jason to know he had crossed a boundary. "Thanks."
The wolf picked up his gym bag and tossed it across his shoulder. The weather outside looked warm enough so he didn't take a jacket. When he was one step out of the door he heard a muffled shout from the kitchen. "Do you have any plans for tonight."
"No."
"You gonna be home early, huh?"
"Yeah."
With that he closed the door and all that remained was the loud bang of wood against metal.
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Jason tried to catch his breath. He wasn't going to cry, no, he couldn't afford to cry. If he did there would be nothing stopping him from running up the three floors separating him from the one he loved. He hadn't cried when Sean had suggested they break up and he hadn't cried when some strange guy had called two weeks later looking for the fox. He had remained strong for both his and Sean's sake. He couldn't break down now.
With trembling hands he took out a pack of cigarettes from his front pocket and lit one up. The moment he inhaled the thick smoke he felt his body shiver and relax. He leaned against the stone wall and closed his eyes, trying to make himself forget everything. Sean, his life, his love....
But it wasn't that easy. Inside the darkness of his eyelids, images and past memories came to life. He experienced every single moment spent alone with his fox over and over again. It was like an enchanted circle of pain. A never-ending agony of sweet words and actions which came back and back again, reminding him of what he didn't have...
Sean....
Despite the reasonably warm weather Jason felt cold. The streets, crammed with people, seemed empty and hollow. The air itself was a deadly poison already spreading itself through his system, promising a slow and agonizing death. Where did all the love go? Weren't they happy? When he asked Sean out on that cold winter day he seemed so full of that feeling. They started dating and soon after that moved into a small flat just six blocks from the university they both attended. From there on it had been fairly easy to keep a simple lifestyle. They spent almost all of their free time together and when they were separated phone calls poured like rain. 'Was I too possessive?' Maybe that's why Sean had dumped him. At moments he really did come off as over protective, but he had never gone as far as to enforce rules of any kind. It had been his most solemn wish to make Sean happy even if it brought only unhappiness to him. That's how strongly he loved the fox. He still did.
His usual workout routine was pestered by the same troublesome question. 'Why?';and each time he thought about his lover with another man the fur on his back would stand up and he would growl unintentionally. He left the gym almost half an hour earlier than intended and was left with a difficult decision. Going back to that empty place called home was out of the question so he decided to just walk around and try and make his thoughts flow in a different direction.
But if he couldn't even go back to his own house than what kind of a man was he. A scared man that's what he was.....The place where months ago he had kissed those lovely lips for the last time, where scents strong enough to overpower his primal instincts still roamed, memories, words, thoughts, everything lingered. He was scared of that place.
In the end he got tired of walking around aimlessly and took a seat at a cheap club a little too far inside the suburbs. It was a small building, despite it's name 'Grand Palace'. Obviously it was old, judging by the cracks on the walls and trash-cans scattered around the entrance. The insides weren't much better either. A couple of tables, a bar and one or two separated sofas for larger a number of people. The dance floor took most of the remaining space.
Jason sipped on his drink and leaned against the soft pillow on one of the smaller couches. The music was a bit too loud for his taste, and the people trusting their bodies around made wonders for his claustrophobia, but overly it made him forget at least some of his trouble.
"You new here sweetie?"
Jason turned his head to the left. A tall, brown fox, possibly around his 20 stood there with a blue drink in one paw and a seductive smile on his scarlet lips. He was dressed in a skimpy outfit leaving little to the imagination. It was flashy and pink, and oh so gay.
"I'm not looking for company, sorry."cut him short Jason and took a drag from his cigarette. The fox's smile withered for just a second before spilling over his whole muzzle. He moved closer and plopped himself on the free cushion on the sofa. "Oh, why not sugar, it's not every night someone as handsome as you comes over. Am I not your type?"
The wolf sipped from his drink and sneakily took a peak at the fox. He was undoubtedly very hot, even too much to be honest. The nuances of his clothes, although too pink, matched perfectly with his brown fur. His face was young and heavily painted, a butterfly tattoo on his left cheek. His mannerisms were the ones of a flashy gay, too much and way too unnecessary.
"Well?"said the fox and got a bit closer. His natural musk was mixed with a sickly sweet perfume which came full force at Jason. It was heavy and sticky like candy.
"No, sorry!" he managed to choke out. That response clearly wasn't what the fox had expected. He pulled back and stared at him in disbelief. Jason stared back. They looked at each other for a while before the other male stood up and said: "You do realize I want to have sex with you, right?"
Jason nodded. The fox lingered for just a second more before he span around and stormed away. Before that, however, Jason heard him say: "Your boyfriend is so lucky!"
The wolf lit up another cigarette and sighted more to himself than to anyone else. "I know."
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By the time Jason came home it was around two am. He was pretty trashed and his head hurt like hell, but somehow he managed to fish his keys from inside his front pocket. However, when he inserted the key the door just flung open. "Sean?" he muttered and stumbled inside not bothering to close behind himself. The house was dark, so he stumbled around a bit before reaching for the light switch. He groaned when the bright light blinded him. "Oh man, this sucks!" he growled. The booze was taking its toll on him. He felt ill. Maybe he was going to vomit. But nothing was worst than the pounding pain inside his skull. It was maddening.
"J-jay?"
The wolf lifted his muzzle slightly up, but couldn't see who was calling him. The whole room was spinning.
"J-jay?" called the voice again. It sounded sweet and compassionate. Just like Sean. But the fox couldn't be here with him. No, he was with another guy. Someone who would love him stronger, hold him safer....better than him.
"Jason?!"
"Sean?" he managed to say. Drool was dripping from his open muzzle on top op his jeans. He tried to get up, but ended kneeling near the short table. "Sean."
"I'm here J-jay? Can you get up for me?"
He shook his head. "N-no..."
His whole body convulsed and he felt himself short of breath. The pain in his head vanished just to be exchanged with a sharper pain inside his gut. Bright yellow liquid shot out of his mouth staining the carpet. He couldn't stay focused anymore, so he just let himself fall face first on the ground.
When he woke up he felt warm. He shifted around a bit, but froze when he felt something fuzzy pressing against his body. His head hurt and he smelled of booze, but he managed to turn to his left. "Sean?" he whispered to the sleeping fox next to him. The slim frame trembled in his sleep and cuddled his right hand. The wolf smiled and moved his free hand so he could hold Sean even closer. The fox stirred a bit, but remained asleep.
Jason gazed into that beautiful face. A single tear ran down his cheek and matted his fur. He pressed his lips to the soft hair of his lover and said very quietly "I love you."