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This story is about the interactions between three people: Silas, a German Shepherd; Tasha, a Raccoon; and Chauncey, a Bichon Frise. Silas was poor and ugly as sin, but he had a heart of gold, compassionate, empathetic and romantic. Tasha was beautiful, and she, too had the perfect soul for friendship and more, and she was middle-class. Chauncey, however, was rich and hot, but a complete fucking douche canoe. Both Silas and Chauncey fell for Tasha before she even knew either one of them existed. They would fantasize every single day, but about completely different things. Silas's fantasies were rarely sexual, instead involving romantic things like candle-lit dinners, long walks in beautiful parks and laying down together and watching fireworks in a field of flowers. Chauncey's fantasies were all about the kinds of sexual things and chores she would do for him, but because of his looks and his wealth.

She fell for Chauncey first. She was enamored with his looks, and with the lavish lifestyle that she was able to live when he was paying for all of her expenses. Granted, he WAS circumcised, but as much of a turn-off that was for her, she just ignored it, even though it felt strange and unpleasant to acknowledge and not ignore completely. She overlooked various signs that maybe her relationship was not supposed to be. One of them was how he would refer to her as his "bitch" and his "hoe" right in front of her. Another was that when she said she loved him, he would say "I know" and wink, instead of saying "I love you too". She must have thought that he was going for a Han and Leia reference, but he even admitted after this part of the story ends that it was because he didn't really love her back. He only loved her body and the things-inside and outside the bedroom-that she could do for him. He didn't give a shit about her personality at all. WRITER'S NOTE: As I wrote that, I developed a burning hatred for a character that I just wrote. It's one thing to hate a fictional character (like Jar Jar Binks, for an easy example), but it's quite another to hate one that you wrote into existence. BACK TO THE STORY

Silas looked upon what was going on from the window of his one-bedroom low-income apartment, right across from Chauncey's penthouse condo. He looked upon it with sadness, rage, envy and...pity. He felt sorry for Tasha, and knew that she deserved better than somebody like Chauncey. After a while, he sent her an anonymous text. The text read "I see how Chauncey treats you, and that's not love. You deserve somebody who loves you for you, not for your body or the things you do for them." She asked "Who the fuck even are you?", and, noticing Silas shouting "It's me!" from his windowsill, went over to a balcony and started talking with him. "So you're the somebody you were talking about?" "Please just give me a chance." Instead of saying no, and maybe calling the police, she said "We'll see."

Then, she went over to Chauncey and asked him "Do you love me?" "Of course I do, baby" he said as he reached around and grabbed her ass. "Why, though?" "I...uhhhh..." "Is it because of how I look?" "That's one reason!" "Or maybe it's the way I cook for you, and clean for you, and do things that I am disgusted by in bed with you, just for you." "That's another good reason!" "Got any REAL reasons!?" "Why are you asking me these questions?" "Because I just now realized that I should have from the start. So, what's your REAL reason for loving me? Or do you just not HAVE one?" "FINE! I'll just get somebody way sluttier that won't talk the fuck back to me!" And she stormed out of his apartment.

She walked over to the door to Silas's apartment complex. He greeted her and gave her something. It was a locket made from and old Aspirin tin. He had carefully painted over it, painting him and Tasha kissing in a meadow under a starry night sky. The painting was done with laser precision, to the point where it almost looked like a picture. "It took me about a month to get it that way. I couldn't afford to buy an actual locket, but I did all this because I hoped that you might someday come into my life, and someday you might want me. "Living Mice" by C418 was playing. "This song always makes me cry tears of joy, because it reminds me of you. I don't know why, but it just does. The way that you just act kind to everybody by default, even if they might not deserve it; the way that you stand up for yourself when you need to, but never seem to cross any boundaries; the beautiful poetry you wrote that I heard at a poetry recital, which made me fall in love with you; your perfect hair, and the way that it curls just right in every place..."

He started stroking her face. WRITER'S NOTE: In this fantasy (that's what it is, one of my fantasies), SURPRISE! I'm Silas! BACK TO THE STORY! "Your beautiful face, so soft and curvy in all the right ways; your supple fur, so soft and warm and cozy; your voice, oh my fucking god, your voice. With your posh British accent and the tone, it makes me cry tears of joy just listening to you speak." She started smiling. "And that perfect smile. I wouldn't hesitate to do whatever it took to make you feel happy, if it meant I could see you smile." Then she rushed in and kissed him on the mouth. There was plenty of tongue, and it went on for five minutes before they went to his room and had sex. The day after, everything changed. Instead of her making breakfast in bed for Chauncey, Silas did it for Tasha, and enjoyed every minute of it. Then, there was a knock on the door. Somebody had left a bank account number and the words "It's yours" on a piece of cardboard. That somebody was me. I felt like they needed happily ever after, and they deserved happily ever after. There were several million dollars waiting in a checking account for them, so they put most of it in savings, and bought a large house, just small enough to not be a mansion.

Meanwhile, things didn't go so well for Chauncey. After word spread of how he treated Tasha, leading her along and exploiting her, nobody would associate with him. WRITER'S NOTE: This part is because I fucking despise the twat that I wrote into existence. Enjoy the extra ending. BACK TO THE STORY. All the wealth that he had was inherited, and he ended up blowing it all right away. First, he went over to Silas and Tasha's new home. She was pregnant. He threatened to kill them both if she didn't come back to him. She refused, wanting more to die with Silas than live with Chauncey. Just in time to save them, Officer Bogo intervened again, tasing him into unconsciousness. He lost all of his money on buying an insanely expensive legal team to save him from prison, and paying the fines that he got for threatening their lives.

He had enough money for a prostitute, though. He had sex with her so rough, her vagina started bleeding. Since he was circumcised at birth, the scar tissue where the foreskin should be opened up, letting blood out and letting blood in. He stopped having sex with her before either of them came, but he got HIV anyways. Three days after the diagnosis, he tried to rape Tasha, but I intervened again this time, grabbing his hand, breaking his wrist, grabbing the knife he held it in, and stabbing him multiple times. It was ruled defense of a third party within an hour of the court session starting, and he survived, but was convicted of attempted rape, and spent the last of his days wasting away in jail.

Meanwhile, whenever Chauncey was away, Silas and Tasha spent every single moment of their lives together. Five years in, they finally got married, and I attended, with Jem. I finally ended up with her just in time to see the two marry. As soon as the husband and bride kissed, there was clapping and cheering everywhere. People all around the church were happier than they ever were before. They even wrote poetry and stories about their lives together, and it's just fucking beautiful.