On Finding Self, Introduction
#1 of Finding Self
The storm's wind tore through the trees outside the bedroom I shared with my brother, rustling the leaves of the large oak trees and setting the wind chimes on the deck into their jingling motion. One of the few things I had remembered about the day of my parents' death was the wind, the cold wind that whipped the rain up into my eyes and deceiving those around me into thinking that I was crying. I hadn't been crying, because I had barely known these people that had the nerve to call themselves my parents. My mother was a stockbroker, as was my father, and they rarely stuck around home long enough for me to actually get to know them. The only person in my immediate family that I had grown close to was my aunt, a homely woman by the name of Ruth Genshire. It was Paul, my uncle, that first suggested that the two of them take me in. I was only five at the time, while my young nephew that was about to become my brother was three.
I watched him sleep, his bed opposite mine in the side of our L shaped room that housed our beds. Though two years younger than me I found him quite attractive, from his large amber eyes to his toned legs and shapely tail. He was also remarkably smart, achieving the only perfect score on the state-mandated tests in our class. He had been advanced a year in school as well, the both of us seniors in high school. But hardly anyone knew our love for each other, both emotional and physical. Our first sexual experience was in the tub as children, as we played with our slits.
Neither of us had any sort of love interest outside of each other. We had tried it before, but both of us found ourselves only talking about how much our interest was like either of us. Rauthiss' girlfriend first started the rumor of us, after allegedly finding us in the bathroom pawing each other off. If only she had known the truth; Rauthiss and I had repeatedly had sex in the upper story bathrooms during lunch, and had only been truly walked in on once. My close friend, Tyler Moores, agreed to never speak of the occurrence again if he could sleep naked with me. Tyler was unabashedly homosexual, and was repeatedly picked on all throughout high school. I could not remember how many times I had been sent home with bruised fists and wounds from defending poor Tyler, only to hear he had been jumped after school. But he stuck it out, remaining in the public school even after his parents offered to transfer him to a private school. We had stuck a deal our freshman year that we would be in this together, and he honored it as strongly as I had.
It was Tyler that introduced me to witchcraft. At first we operated in secret, in his basement, pleading ancient gods for money or power. Money never came flowing from our sinks, but we had gained power. Mine laid in my amulet, the ability to see what was hidden from most people's eyes. Tyler had the same ability, but he required no amulet. Soon we joined a 'cult', a group of similar mages gifted with almost the same abilities. It pained me to lie to my adopted mother about our activities, and especially after Rauthiss became involved. But we had to, as none of us expressed any interest in becoming mental ward patients. So we kept it secret, until shortly after we graduated.
That was when the interesting things started happening. A few weeks after graduation I left to attend a 'mystical conference' with my friends Poley and Jen. Rauthiss came as well, as my student. Rauthiss ended up staying until the entire month-long conference was up, but I lingered. Rauthiss was to go to college, but I had no interest in such things. My place was with the people of the conference, and even as they packed up and moved to the next town I followed them. I fell in with a dragoness named J'xaer, an interesting dragoness to say the least. She regularly dressed in little other than a short loincloth and military-style fatigue jacket cut to hang just below her breasts. She wore an amulet around her neck, an amulet that I would soon find that there was a pair to. I wore both my sight-necklace and the counterpart to her necklace, and the closer we got the less I wore. Eventually I wore only a fundoshi inside town, often being stopped with indecent exposure tickets. But I would never pay them, as we would often leave in the cloak of darkness anyhow.
But things got bad quickly. When we were in a small town in England a dragon wearing a business suit approached. He looked older than myself, but were he younger, less well-dressed, and less stoned he could have passed for me. I later found out that this was my father, and that he had awoken from his coma days prior to them pulling the plug. He suffered from fugue, and it was only recently that he had come to his senses and tracked me down. He tempted me with offers of a job at his brokerage, but I humored him and told him I'd come to visit. J'xaer accompanied me, and when I returned to the states I found that very little had changed. But some things had, and drastically. Rauthiss had left college, and was working for the funds to join me in England. My aunt and uncle had no interest in allowing him to leave, so we made arrangements with my father for him to purchase a ticket for him.
A few days after we returned things got worse. The police had been called to one of our gatherings, and several of us were arrested. Apparently the local citizens had spread rumors of us sacrificing animals, and planted dead animals near our tents. I hadn't been arrested, but J'xaer had. Soon they were released, but her wrongful arrest infuriated me. Brighteye, our leader at the time, arranged for us to move on as soon as possible, advocating peace and forgiveness. But my budding love had been attacked, and I wasn't about to let that go.
My violent thoughts faded a few days later, but I can't reveal everything in the introduction, now can I?