FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The Kitsune folded her hand paws. She wasn't paid enough for this and she OWNED the business. She wasn't speciesist, oh Gods, no! But she was allowed a bit of... incredulity, lets say, when her latest applicant had to walk into her office sideways.

The Orc, she looked down at his application (which was written in shockingly neat cursive) was called Mark'ha.

Mark'ha was a different kind of Orc.

He was massive, even by Orc standards, if an average Orc was to be comparable to an average American man than Mark'ha was a Samoan NFL linebacker with a nickname like 'The Refrigerator'. Even though his belly stuck out it never suggested that he was fat, he had gristle like a bear. He had ears like fists and fists like even more fists stuffed into a bag and stuck on the end of his thick, hairy arms. He was the kind of Orc who could walk back allies at night and never worry about who might be lurking, in fact, he was usually the one that the lurkers worried about. He also had a beard, a long one that even a Dwarf would be envious of.

When Mark'ha was young and just starting to grow into the glacier of muscle that he would become his mother had said 'That boy will crush a thousand human skulls under his foot!'. This phrase, paired with the Pratchet theory of causality, intercepted the planet that was Mark'ha's intended path with the meteorite of irony, sending him spinning into a totally different, totally unexpected and (if you were his parents) totally disappointing orbit.

The Kitsune cleared her throat and pretended to shuffle her papers a bit in a business-like fashion, Oh Gods his leg is thicker than my torso.

"Hello, Mr.Mark'ha. I am Miss Amai, pleased to meet you." Amai extended a dainty handpaw to the huge Orc, not sure if it would end in broken bones or not but refusing to seem rude either way.

Mark'ha reached out with one of his dinner plate hands and delicately took the proffered handpaw between his thumb and forefinger, shaking it carefully. Amai had to suppress a shudder of fear as she watched the knotted muscles work under the green hide. If the Orc noticed her reaction he ignored it.

"Nice to meet you, Miss", Mark'ha's voice came from somewhere in that cavernous chest, it was earthy and honestly quite pleasant. Amai withdrew her handpaw, grinning sweetly as possible, making a little 'mmm' sound.

"I understand that you wish to be employed?"

"Oh yes Miss!" the tusked face lit up and his eyes sparkled.

"Only... Sir you must understand that our dog daycare does not require an... uh... security outfit." Said the Kitsune, her voice shrinking with every word. But it was true, very few people set out to assassinate dogs.

"No, no! You misunderstand!" Mark'ha blurted out, making the Kitsune across from him jump. He collected himself, bringing a fist to his mouth and clearing his throat. When he looked back down at Amai, his expression as bright as the sun. "I have been a security guard plenty of times but I've never been able to truly do what I want."

"And that is?"

"To groom dogs! All kinds of cute, sweet, happy dogs!" The Orc's eyes were back to shimmering at the thought of clipping little nails and being licked by tiny tongues.

And by Gods he was serious, Amai examined every inch of the Orc's face, trying to puzzle out if this was some sort of joke being made at her expense. But Mark'ha's face was as open and honest as a newborn, abet a newborn with a full beard and tusks poking out of his mouth.

"Not to seem rude, Mister Mark'ha, but you are very, very, _very_large and many of our dogs are tiny, are you sure you'd be able to safely be around them?" _Especially with scissors?_The Kitsune mentally added along with a vision of the massive Orc absentmindedly snipping off a Pomeranian's tail.

Mark'ha's sunny face clouded over and Amai knew immediately that this was something the Orc dealt with every day. She could imagine mothers of all stripes shooing their children away from the giant, people parting around him like fish avoiding a shark and worst of all, the dog owners assuming that he wanted to eat there precious balls of joy. Every day it was him standing over the throngs of city-goers, every one of whom saw him and went 'There's one nasty bastard, better watch out for him.' All these people, all over the city, all biased. And, Amai realized with a flush of shame, she had been just like them. She had presumed things about Mark'ha from the very moment that he stepped in to her office right up until now and it almost made the Kitsune nauseous.

"I... I'm so sorry, sir."

The mountain of muscle shuffled his feet, he almost looked close to crying. And somehow that filled the Kitsune with such shame she cringed at her own behavior. Was size-ist a thing? Amai never really bought into all the new '-ist's and '-phobe' words that seemed to have become popular about the city, they were silly. But Amai had lived by the principle of courtesy to all since she had one tail and she had violated it well and truly. What's to say Mark'ha wouldn't be a good dog groomer? He had been almost dainty when she had shaken her paw, who's to say he wouldn't be able to repeat the performance on the Chihuahuas? The room was silent for a moment more before Amai was able to rally herself into talking.

"It's just I don't see any prior experience listed on your paper" She poked at his resume, "And as such I can only offer you a junior dog grooming position."

The smears of sadness on the giant Orc's face were suddenly squeegied away. Mark'ha's mouth turned up and up and up until he was sporting the biggest, most genuine smile Amai had ever seen. Like a child on Christmas morning, he babbled a bit and the Kitsune was briefly concerned that he might drag her over the desk for a hug. He refrained even though it seemed to have been with a great amount of effort.

"Whe... when would you like me to start?" Bless his heart, he was practically crying. Amai, who had recovered beautifully from her earlier missteps, placed the papers in her handpaws back on her desk and stood up.

"Not for a week or two, you know how paperwork is." The Kitsune said dismissively, "But I can show you about the facilities, if you like."

Yes, Mark'ha did like.

The Kitsune was honestly impressed, the Orc had been able to name every single dog they had passed by, even the pair of Xoloitzcuintli playing in the yard (He was very excited to finally see this breed in real life). So at least he knew his stuff on the breeds front.

"And here we have where you'll be working! Our grooming facility." Amai had to press up against the grooming bench as Mark'ha enthusiastically sidled sideways through the doorframe. The room was not overly large and looked even smaller now that a tanker of muscle was occupying an entire corner. The dogs in the cages that lined two of the walls seemed to suddenly be very interested in the huge Orc, almost entranced. Amai spared a glance up at Mark'ha's face, which was expressing pure joy as he looked at one direction in particular.

Amai followed the Orc's piggy gaze to a cage, one inhabited, or rather, infested with a Pomeranian known as Sir Stubbs.

On the outside he was actually quite cute, all liquid brown eyes pushed into his soot colored fur, his was the face that made you want to squeal and spoil him with treats. The dog was about the size of a grapefruit with legs, unlike a grapefruit though, which is full of nutritious juice, Sir Stubbs was full of seething hatred for anything that came within ten feet of him. He was a nipper, a yapper, an ankle biter, a mauler, a charger and not necessarily in that order. The dog was a demon compressed into a high-pressure container of rage and teeth. Amai had seen the thing bite an ear off one of her (ex) dog walkers like it was a premium steak that had somehow grown out of the person's head. Had Sir Stubbs been a bigger animal he would have made the record books on account of all the people he would maul to a sticky red puddle. A pair of leather gloves and a snake handler's pole were hung by Stubb's cage.

"He's so cute" Said Mark'ha.

"Uh..." Said Amai.

And before she could say much more, Mark'ha had closed the gap between him and Sir Stubb's cage, so blissfully ignorant of the horror that was about to be rained down upon his sweet, gigantic soul. Oh Gods, he was about to get mauled by a pint of rage given form!

Amai heard the cage lock click and she tried her best to spring into some sort of action, which was basically her waving her arms and blubbering a bit. No, no, no! But the Orc was in his own world where only he and the 'precious' little dog existed.

"Hello, little doggie,"

And he had picked Sir Stubbs up. Actually picked Sir Stubbs, Destroyer of Hope, up and was cradling him like a baby. Amai balked, was she crazy? Was she dreaming? Was she high? Because this reality was clearly not hers.

"How... I mean... how?"

Mark'ha laughed a bit.

"I'm not sure, they all just like me, Miss."