FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

*You are looking at a television screen in a darkened room, watching a home video*

*Camera clicks on to a view of an empty chair. After a few seconds, a crocodile wearing a plain grey outfit walks on screen and sits down.*

My name is Jason Shallowater, and this is my story. I don't talk about my past much, but it's time you all knew what happened and how I got where I am today.

I was born August first, 1980. My mother's name was Shelby Amherst, my father's name was John Amherst.

My story begins in Tampa Bay, Florida about 6 years after I was born, my father was always a bit controlling, and could sometimes be a bit abusive towards my mother and myself.

It all started slowly, my mom left the house to hang out with some friends after my dad had shoved her out the door. That's also about the time he started drinking.

I was only 6 at the time, and didn't understand what was going on, all I knew was that my dad was getting progressively more abusive, and my mother spent less and less time at home. When she was at home, she looked sick, and sounded awefull.

This went on for several years, I learned to hide the bruises from my friends and teachers at school, and to put on a fake smile, and this worked for a while.

by the time I was 11 however, I had taken to cutting and self harm, and i did this until I was 14 and one of my teachers caught a glimpse of my cut marks and brought it up to the school counselor.

With the counselor, principal, and Tampa Bay police officer present, I was asked to remove my shirt. Having no choice, I reluctantly removed my shirt, which allowed them to see not only my self harm, but also the marks and bruises left by my father.

When asked what was going on at home, I exploded into tears as I explained how my father would get drunk and hit both me and my mom when she was home, and how she would disappear for sometimes days on end and always came back looking worse than she did when she left.

That day, on March third 1994, a Child Protective Service case was opened, and I was temporarily taken into state custody. After about a week, they discovered that on top of my father's drinking, my mother was a heroin addict. The removal from the home was made permanent and I was placed into the foster care system.

Over the next couple years, I was in and out of homes, the fourth family was the wolf family who finally adopted me, I was 16 at the time.

My new mom's name was Ariana, and my new dad's name was Scott. It was from them that I got my last name of Shallowater.

I quickly grew to love them as if they were my real parents, they were definitely kinder than my birth parents.

Traumatized by the events of my past, I had gotten in with a bad crowd. I had started hanging out with some bad furs that, little did I know, were part of a gang.

Soon, they had tricked me into joining their gang, but I had no idea what I was getting into. I had started smoking cigarettes, and dealing drugs on the streets, but because of how they affected my mother, I couldn't bring myself to use them even when my new friends tried to persuade me to.

This went on for a few years, and I was almost arrested twice, just barely getting away in time.

There came a time when our gang was stood up by a drug user. Our leader took me to the man's house and shoved a gun into my hands and ordered me to kill him.

The man I was supposed to kill was a fox who looked to be in his early to mid 20's. he had been tied up and gagged for the kill, but i just couldn't do it, even if I wanted to.

"I can't, I just can't!!" I exclaimed. My "alpha," the big intimidating wolf who lead our gang, was angered by my lack of ability to shoot the offender, who had stolen several hundred dollars of pot.

"You haven't seen how bad I can fuck someone up yet have you??" he shouted at me "Just point the gun, and shoot him in the head!!"

But there was no way, I could not bring myself to even raise the gun...

*Jason chokes up at this point, tears starting to fall down his face*

Finally, Alpha took the gun from me and shoved me to the side, shooting the fox right between the eyes...

"GO!" he shouted at me "Run along home to your adopted family! And don't ever show your ugly face on my street again!"

I got up and I ran. I ran all the way home. when I got home, I told Scott and Ariana everything that I had done, everything that had happened. I expected them to be angry, to throw me back into the foster care system, but the didn't. they didn't even yell at me, they just frowned as I told them what happened.

Then they smiled and took me into their arms, and told me that they would always love me, and no matter who gave birth, I would always be their son.

Then one day about a week before my eighteenth birthday me and my parents were walking through a shopping mall when I saw him.

Alpha just looked at me with a look of complete disgust and anger, a look that caused me to fear for my life. I asked my parents if we could just go home. They saw the look of fear in my eyes I guess, because we went straight home after that.

I continued to fear for me life in fear for the next week, then it happened. On the day of my eighteenth birthday, I was celebrating with my parents and some of their friends whom I had grown to like. After everyone went home and it was just the three of us, a group of men burst in through the front door.

I was tied up to a chair and Alpha was standing in front of me, just staring at me. "Didn't I tell you not to ever let me see your face again?? This is what happens when you step out of line!"

I thought he was going to shoot me, but instead he pulled Ariana and Scott in front of me. They were both blindfolded, then Alpha pulled Scotts blindfold off, forced the two of us to look each other in the eyes before he shot my dad in back of the head...

*Jason is openly sobbing now, his face buried in his hands*

When he was done with my parents, he turned his gun on me. "But don't think that just because i made you watch them die that I won't kill you too, I won't have any loose ends" I remember him saying.

With that, he shot me in the chest. I cried out in pain as i felt the bullet go deep inside me. He left me there to die as I gasped for breath.

My eyes drifted shut as I waited for death to come. At first I saw a few shadows moving in on me, then I blacked out. The next thing I remember seeing was a bright white light, and I thought death had come to me, but as I opened my eyes and my brain caught up with what I was seeing, I realized I was in a hospital room.

I was met by a doctor, a tall broad built St. Bernard named Dr. Walter White. He smiled upon seeing that I had woken up and offered me something to drink.

"What exactly happened, Doc?" I asked, confused as to how i was still alive.

"You almost died, if your neighbors hadn't called the cops when they did, you wouldn't have made it. The bullet missed your heart by about an inch. You should be able to go home tomorrow, I'll just want to see you back in a week to remove your stitches. The police will want to ask you a few questions, so if it's ok with you I'll let them know you're awake.

I accepted, I was lucky and somehow survived the Alpha, but that ass hole killed my parents, I wanted the cops to know everything I could tell them about him and his gang.

Then, after he discarded my dad's body like yesterday's newspaper, he pulled my mom in front of me, removed her blindfold and forced us to look at each other, just like he did with my dad.

This time, he gave my mom enough time to speak some last words. "Jason! Jason, whatever happens after tonight, please know, your father and I love you very much, and we will always be with you!"

And then she was gone too... shot in the back of the head, just like her husband... I wasn't allowed to even say goodbye... Because of my own stupidity, the closest thing I had to a real family was murdered right before my eyes... all because I had to get involved in that stupid ass fucking gang!

*His tears flow freely for a few minutes before he gets his composure back*

After I told the cops what happened, and exactly where they could find Alpha and his gang, they left me alone to boil in my thoughts.

I decided right then and there that I was going to make my parents proud, my life would not be a poor reflection of their love.

I stayed in Tampa Bay long enough for their funerals, then I packed their ashes in with what I could carry, and boarded a bus.

I decided to go to college at a university in Lubbock Texas to get my masters degree in chemistry as well as my teaching degree. It took me a long time, plenty of government help, and two part time jobs, but I made it.

After I graduated from the university, I got a job as a chemistry teacher at the local high school. I work hard every day to make the lives of these kits is brighter.

I used to live alone. It wasn't until a couple years ago I met another teacher, the new theater teacher in my school. His name is Draco Blaiz, a sweet and talented red dragon, and even though it took me a while to catch his attention as anything more than just a good friend, we became a couple. He even has an adopted son, a young horse named Marco.

Im very happy now, and I know that Ariana and Scott, the couple I am proud to call my parents, would be proud of me and how far I have come.

*Jason smiles softly before standing up and turns the camera off, the tape ends and starts to rewind*