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It was my first case, so I had no idea what to do, honestly. On only my third day working for the LAPD, I was assigned a rather unique one: at the end of each week, for seven weeks at the time, three people were found dead due to the same cause: an overdose of Tylenol caused them to suffer acetaminophen poisoning. The only way the station figured out it probably wasn't a suicide was because there's no way something like that could be a coincidence, or pulled off by anyone without top-notch skill in killing people and leaving no trace behind. After all, we didn't see any connections to any cults or any suicide pacts, and if this were some form of protest, along the lines of that one guy who lit himself on fire to protest the Vietnam War (I think. I might be misremembering it), then their cause would have been made clear. The only connections were that they were all part of the ever-shrinking number of anti-LGBT activists that were finally dying off anyways, and they all attended the WBC at some point.

My first guess was that this was some form of vigilante justice, meant to move progress forward by lethal force. That's when I went right to my first suspect:a male black-and-green Fox named Captain Rainbow. An openly gay man, he was disowned by his parents after coming out at the young age of eight, and when he was only 13, he killed them and 20-something others in self-defense when they tried to lynch him. The weapons he used, dual Winchester model 1901s, modified with the barrels sawed off, and to take rounds from stripper clips put in the top, he uses to this very day for most of his vigilante work. He gets by on Patreon money donated by his supporters. He was a member of the Pink Guns, an LGBT gun-owners group, since he was 14. What he is, is called a "bear" in LGBT culture, for those who are unaware, to refer to a gay or bisexual man who is very masculine. I know. Since it's also the name of a species, that confused me at first too. Basically, he was a gay Chuck Norris character, which somebody should have thought of before Norris died of old age. He was still a DILF even when he died, by the way.

Captain Rainbow's also a DILF, so yea, we kinda had sex. He was well-endowed and uncircumcised, and had no STDs or piercings, so I can't say I was disappointed. Afterwards, he was a lot more willing to cooperate with questioning anyways. I asked him about the killings, and he straight-up said that he's disappointed he didn't have an excuse to kill them, without me even implying suspicion that he killed them. That got him in the clear, and he offered to help with any parts of the investigation that got violent. I accepted his offer. He gave me another suspect: his ex-boyfriend, a Hyena cuntboy who was cisgender but just liked being the receiver that much (No. Seriously. Most of the time, I'm just joking when I talk about that), by the name of Quatondrus. Everybody just called him Quad, though. He was from Africa, and that-along with Africa's history of genital mutilation-might explain his being more convinced in the wisdom of becoming a cuntboy.

He had quite a history himself. Started thrill killing when he was also disowned by his parents for being gay, when he was 12. He escaped death row and got life on parole by being tried as a child, rather than as an adult, when he was caught at age 15. Right off the bat, I knew we were dealing with a quick-and-easy part of this particular case. If he HAD killed them, he'd clearly not only not try to lie and hide it, but brag about it, as he did on social media once he had killed his 20th innocent person. In case you're wondering why he was going out with Captain Rainbow, it's because CR was his parole officer, and initially-but ONLY initially-it was about good sex and leniency, and nothing more. I @'ed Quad on Twitter, with the tweet "Ayo! @Quadslaughter, wat u know bout Tylenol Killings?" and he responded "@BossMotherfucker, I was gonna kill them, but they just died. IDK & IDC Y or how", followed by "@BossMotherfucker @LAPD some preacher dude said th@ they should die b/c they let gays happen" "@BossMotherfucker LMFAO @ the stupid. Gay just happens, yk?" I knew he was talking about the only hate preacher left within LA city limits, Jedediah, some Ram bloke.

The minute I and CR got to him, he straight-up admitted that it was a diversion for some other WBC alumni to commit multiple simultaneous mass shootings at LGBT centers across LA. I decided to keep using Twitter to more progress along with "@LAPD @LAPride sum ppl from @WBC r gonna shoot u. GET COPS NOW!", before CR unloaded ten rounds into Jedediah, screaming "SUCK MY COCK IN HELL YOU BREEDER-ASS BIBLE-FUCKER!", but Jed was wearing body armor. While he was being sent to the hospital, Captain Rainbow rapidly picked off the people conspiring to shoot up the LGBT centers, killing them sometimes five-at-a-time. Only three were left when they were going to shoot up the places, and they were all in one spot. Jed was in the hospital, watching the news. I heard that he prayed that they would be able to kill as many innocent people as possible, even calling them "sodomites". I wish I saw the look on his face when they raised their guns, and immediately fell down, decapitated by some Katana boomerang thing that CR had on him that he made. I'd go into more detail about everything, but I just have to go. I feel like visiting Jed in the hospital to gloat my ass off at him.