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Minimum Wage Wrestling #4

" Hardcore Match?"

By: Silverback Christianpaw

Minimum Wage Wrestling was set to debut it's first-ever championship, the Minimum Wage Wrestling Hardcore Championship. A title when defended, it's always under Hardcore Rules! No Disqualifications! Falls Count Anywhere! Anything Goes! Underneath the ring is filled to the brim with weapons for the combatants to use on each other in any way they see fit. All that matters is getting the win.

The middle school gym was red-hot for Minimum Wage Wrestling, dozens . . . a dozen fans came to the show to see some front seat mayhem! Tonight, it's Zach Bluewolf vs. Bunbuns vs. Jack Bishop vs. Aaron Silverwolf to crown the FIRST ever champion!

Ding-Ding!

All four of the wrestlers immediately scramble out of the ring and pull back the ring apron to start dealing out the hoards of weapons picked for this epic hardcore match. Zach, the luchawolf, reaches under the ring and pulls out his first weapon which is a . . . cookie sheet.

"What in the hell?" Zach says as he tosses the pan aside and reach for another weapon and pulls out a stepladder. "Huh?!" He gets ready to try another side of the ring, hoping to find the good weapons, when he gets a broomstick to the ribs from the Labrador that attacked him last time, Jack Bishop.

CRACK!

"Ah!" Zach yelps.

Jack hit the wolf a second time to the ribs before Zach starts firing back with good haymakers to the side of Bishop's face. But then Zach gets hit in the back with another weapon, another cookie sheet from the massive Bunbuns, while they big and sexy Aaron Silverwolf grabs hold of Bishop and tosses him into the steel steps at the corner of the ring.

Zach uses the bottom rope to remain on his feet while Bunbuns goes for another shot on his opponent with the cookie sheet but he counters with a big sidekick right into the cookie sheet which drives into the face of the big bunny. Bunbuns falls to one knee as he holds his face but the luchawolf doesn't slow down as he picks up the newly-dented cookie sheet and bashes it on the top of the head which causes him to fall discombobulated to the floor. Zach falls on top of Bunbuns' massive belly as the referee runs over to them and gets on all fours to make the count as his hand smacks the cement floor,

"1 . . . 2 . . ." Bunbuns gets his shoulder off the floor to keep from getting pinned.

Zach rolls into the ring and is met with Jack Bishop who now has the stepladder as his weapon of choice. Bishop swings the little ladder, going for the wolf's head, but Zach ducks underneath it and turns around with a good kick to the Labrador's midsection. He loses grip of the stepladder which gave Zach the oppurtunity to get the stepladder for himself as he picks it up over his head and slams it across his back, payback for the attack during the promo for this match (read Minimum Wage Wrestling #3 for full details).

SCRAMACK!

Zach quickly takes the stepladder again and sets it up as it stood in the middle of the ring. He steps back before running up and pushing off the top of the small ladder to launch himself in the air before driving his elbow across the lower back of Jack Bishop.

The dozen-ish fans all clap and whistle as that spectacular stunt. Zach gleefully raises his paws in the air before getting back out of the ring to grab a weapon. He looks over and sees Aaron and Bunbuns now entering the ring as they continued their tussle as he looked under the ring for another weapon. He sees it, his next weapon of choice, a little black bag. Okay, the weapons have all been rather goofy for this hardcore match but he knows what always lays inside the black cloth-bag were the dreaded "Hundreds of Thumbtacks." He rolls back into the ring and opens the black bag and proceeds to dump the hundreds of . . . Legos . . . onto the ring canvas.

The Minimum Wage fans all started pointing and laughing. Zach held his face in embarassment. Bus his mood changes quick as Aaron Silverwolf grabs the smaller wolf by the shoulder and lifts the little wolf's body up over his head.

"Ahhhh! No! No!" Zach furiously shook his head but Aaron wouldn't hear it as he bodyslams the smaller wolf onto the hundreds of legos. Zach held his back and howls in pain as Aaron threw himself on top of Zach to make the cover as the referee counts,

"1 . . . 2 . . ." he kicks out. In all of the ways he hoped Aaron would be on top of him he did not think it was while his body was getting lightly-brutalized on a pile of legos!

"Bunbuns, get him!" Aaron says pointing down at Zach's prone body. Bunbuns bounces back into the ropes and and leaps in the air for a big splash, Zach rolls his body out of the way as fast as he could leaving the bunny to bellyflop on nothing but legos.

BOOM-CRACKITY-CRACK!

Zach rolls back out of the ring and flops onto the floor as he tries to stay out of the line of fire until he figures out what to do next. He uses an empty steel chair to pull himself back to his feet while a nearby heavyset tiger cheers,

"Wooooo! Go luchawolf!"

Zach pulls away the ring apron to find another weapon, something good, anything that could actually be threatening. He sees something, a kendo stick? He grabs on it and pulls it out to reveal not a kendo stick, but a giant pixi-stick.

"A pixi-stick? What in the holy hell?" He exclaims completely bewildered, "What kind of hardcore match is this?! This isn't hardcore!" Suddenly he feels a paw grab the back of his head and push his body hard into the steel ringpost. Zach holds his shoulder in pain to see it was once again Jack Bishop going on the attack. Zach hits him with a big chop across his chest. Bishop quickly drops down to one knee as he uppercuts him right in the balls.

"Guhhhh!" Zach collapses onto the floor holding his crotch as his body convulses in pain, "You son of a--" he comes right back with a big kick to the Labrador's balls in return.

"Ah shit!" Bishop drops down on the floor holding the crotch of his trunks.

Zach groans as he gingerly sits up against the ringpost still holding the giant pixi-stick. He growls and proceeds to bite down on the top and rip the top off, some grape-flavored powder spill on his leg as he takes a big swig of sugary pixi-stick powder before spitting it all into Bishop's face like a big purple mist!

The fans cheers grew into laughter as they cheered these guys on.

The focus however was back on the ring as Bunbuns and Aaron Silverwolf continued to fight on. Bunbuns grabs hold of Aaron by his wrist and tries to throw the big wolf into the turnbuckle, Aaron keeps his grip and reverses the throw, and it ends up being Bunbuns who gets a bodyslam hard into the turnbuckle. Aaron looks around for a weapon and found the dreaded stepladder. He picks it up and heaves it right at Bunbuns' face.

SMACK!

"Ohhhh," the dozen fans yell in shock and horror.

Bunbuns starts bleeding from the forehead as it runs down his face. Aaron backs up and gets down on one knee, and slapping on his muscular quad. The fans cheers grew even louder as they knew he was setting up for his finishing move. He smacks the quad hard,

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Bunbuns still woozy from the stepladder shot that he gingerly walks to the center of the ring just in time for Aaron's size-fourteen wrestling to get driven into his face, the big boot finisher that he calls the Silver Streak.

"Ohhhhh!" the fans cheer and whistle as Bunbuns collapses, once again falling onto the pile of legos as the big wolf gets on top of him for the cover. The referee counts,

"1 . . . 2 . . . 3!"

Ding-Ding-Ding!

The dozen fans spread throughout the gym all stood up and clap for the great match, whatever kind of match this is, they have just seen. The referee hands Aaron the Hardcore Championship belt, a big silver ECW Championship replica belt with 'HARDCORE' written across a strip of duct-tape stuck to the belt over the ECW logo.

No matter, he holds the championship belt high up over his head. Aaron Silverwolf is the first-ever Minimum Wage Wrestling Hardcore Champion, and nobody can take that away from him!