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Minimum Wage #3

" Cutting Promos"

By: Silverback Christianpaw

Part of the job as a wrestler for Minimum Wage Wrestling is not only to film matches for DVD sales and YouTube highlights, but also to film the occasional interview to hype matches for future shows. However, some of the wrestlers in Minimum Wage Wrestling are not the best on the microphone so some, much like good actors, need to be properly motivated. Thankfully today Rich Whitetiger, the owner of Minimum Wage Wrestling, is working with Zach Bluewolf who knows the mic a little more well. All he had to tell him was to show up to the interview in a suit.

"Okay, I have the perfect way to do this," Rich says.

"What do you have in mind?" Zach says as he put his lucha mask on.

"I want you to do this interview just over the top, be as animated as humanly possible." Rich sets up the camera by the shower door so it points on the white bathroom tile wall as a basic non-clashing background. "I think it's worth a try, it'll be great! Trust me!"

"Oh man, uh-ok, give me a few minutes," Zach took to his phone and pulls up YouTube in order to get inspired by crazy and sometimes nonsensical backstage wrestler interview from the 80s. But it works out because within minutes the wolf is in an "uber-interview" frame of mind. Ready to shout, promote, and most importantly,promote.

"You ready?" Rich asks as he turns his microphone on and checks the camera one last time.

"Yep, let's do this!" Zach says with his tail wagging.

"Alright . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . Ladies and Gentlemen I'm standing here in the back of the Minimum Wage Arena with one of the fastest rising stars here in Minimum Wage Wrestling, the 'Lucha Frenzy' Zach Bluewolf. Now, Mr. Bluewolf, Minimum Wage Wrestling will soon be making history as we introduce our first, and probably our only, championship . . . The Minimum Wage Wrestling Hardcore Championship. What are your thoughts on--"

"My thoughts, Rich?! My thoughts are the same as they've always been! Come, kick some ass, and win! That's what it takes to be the best in this sport, Rich! It's all about kicking ass! And when the Hardcore Championship is on the line? No rules, no regulations, anything goes and everything goes, you know there will be ten kinds of ass kicking coming to your DVD players every time you turn us on!

"You see, Rich, being the 'Lucha Frenzy' isn't just a fancy name or a fancy title to sell T-shirts and stuff, which you can buy right now at ShopMWWrestling.com, but it's because it's a way of life! My life!

"Steel chairs, kendo sticks, trash cans, street-fighting, falls count anywhere, that's my world! And to debut a Championship belt that glorifies such a rebellious division is simply gospel.

"I want to thank you Rich, for you see, your company is going to become the biggest wrestling company in the universe! Minimum Wage Wrestling will be world renowned! And I'm going to give you my all, Rich! Yeah, that's right! I'm going to give you everything I've got!

Zach starts taking off parts of his suit, "You want the shoes? Here! Their yours! You want the watch? The shirt? Jacket? Everything! You can even have the pants, yeah that's right! You can even take the pants!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Mr. Bluewolf!" Rich says and backs up a little bit to play it up,

Zach strips down until he's wearing nothing but his mask and his underwear, "Because it's No Holds Barred! I'm giving you and the fans my all!

"Next week I'll be going into that ring like I always do, with guns blazing, and steel chairs launching! It's a battlefield, Rich! A battlefield! For the most glorious trophy in the world, the crown jewel of this sport; The Minimum Wage Wrestling Hardcore Championship! You think your tough? Then I dare you to step into my world! You see, Rich! I'll defend this championship to my dying day!

"But Mr. Bluewolf, y-you don't have the championship, we-we haven't debuted it yet,"

"I don't care! Because I'll become the FIRST ever Hardcore Champion! You know it! I know it! The world knows it! It's prophecy, Rich! And I dare anyone . . . and by golly I do mean anyone to_bring...it...on_!!!"

Rich slowly takes back his microphone back in shock, "Man, whew! I've got goosebumps, folks. But yes, next time here on Minimum Wage Wrestling--"

FWAP!

A steel chair smacks the back of Zach's head sending him careening down onto all fours on the floor.

"Hey! What the?" Rich says bewildered.

Jack Bishop, the brown labrador, growls as he clinches the legs of the now dented metal chair,

"You're going to be the new champion? Hehe, I don't think so." He raises the chair up over his head before slamming it down across the blue wolf's back, the chair bouncing off on impact and nearly hitting the tripod of the camera.

FWAP! CLANG-BANG!

_Bishop_growls as he grabs the wolf by his ears and hooks his head in his arm and down on the floor, causing Zack's head to drill down onto the bathroom floor with a loud thud.

Bishop pants, popping back up to his feet with ease. He looks at the big lens of the camera, still recording and he gets eerily closer knowing many will be watching this carnage online and on the DVD,

"Ladies, gentlemen, (pant) and anyone who thinks otherwise, you're looking into the eyes (pant) of the next (pant) Hardcore Champion," he snorts, staining the camera lens with saliva before walking away, leaving Zach and his lifeless body next to the dented steel chair.