Down among the Dead men (Ch. 18)

Story by Khaesho Scorpent on SoFurry

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#50 of Child of the Sands

This chapter serves as a sort of climax for book two, and things will certainly calm down after this, for a while, but don't relax too much. The characters have earned a little breathing room, but that's only time to rest before the final conflict (and subsequent end) of book two. I would apologize for the way this chapter ends, but I realistically couldn't see any other way to mark the ending of this act.

I'll see you above the black tides. For now though, you must descend...


Down.

Down below the surface.

Down twenty thousand leagues beneath the suffocating black tides.

Down among the dead men.

Shouyousei clung tight to the serpent as the plummeted, panic coursing through every fiber of her being. Adrenaline spiked through her body directly into her soul, sandpapering her senses razor sharp as they rocketed ever downwards. Her focus narrowed to a tunnel while her vision broadened past what her eyes could see. She couldn't think; the mind-gripping fear occluded her mind, shunting logic and reason out of the way with one overbearing command. Move. Fight. Live.

It was instinct born, bred, and buried into every race of the bipedal nations. Across all cultures, across all animal instincts, across all the globe, save for one place, fear causes an adrenaline rush, a spike of energy that heightens focus and tunes all aspects of the body towards one purpose. It was a purity of mind and a clarity of intent that brought with it an almighty rush of soul energy. The power demanded release, and her instincts demanded action, so she acted in the only way she could.

She danced. She turned, placing one foot behind her, finding solid ground purely because she wished it as she pulled the serpent through a basic twirl. The inert lump of scales in her arms reacted, recognizing the move, and followed through with it. Shou led and the serpent followed, steps matching with soft slides as they careened around an empty chasm that built itself upwards. A grand ballroom formed beneath her feet, spreading out into a needlessly spacious hall that quickly twisted towards a different theme. It was a gothic affair, grotesque and yet beautiful, an ornate chapel with gargoyles that watched from the rooftop and demons who stared from the shadows.

Power followed her footsteps, sparking lightning off the wooden floor, weaving a wreath of deadly light around them. Thunderheads followed, wrapping the two in a black veil that sparked with different colors of the lightning strike, entombing them in the violent safety only found in the eye of the storm. As Fear had once done for her, Shouyousei wove a chaotic vortex, keeping them safe until the panic dimmed enough for her to put words together. Their dance gently spun to a close, as Nikolak opened her eyes. "I never knew... I've never seen such beauty, Shouyousei."

She examined herself, a surprisingly easy task once she realized that her vision need not be limited to her form, and gasped at what she saw. She stood bereft of clothing, but wrapped in the thunderstorm that extended outwards. Sparks danced at her beck and call, and lightning was sheathed at her wrist, ready to dash forwards to strike. It was a gratifying visage, but she could take no pleasure in it as she surveyed the snake before her.

Nikolak was dissolving. Not into a powder, not yet, but large cracks appeared across her skin, empty crevices through which the demons surrounding her might dive back into her soul. She, the eternal nightmare, quivered with the fear that, though Shouyousei had bought a little time, it was only delaying the final darkness. Nikolak didn't have to say anything, Shou knew her face and her mind well enough by now; she'd given up hope. There was no way out, and her last regret would be that she pulled Shouyousei down with her.

The wolf surveyed the crestfallen guardian, then turned to peer past the thunderstorm. Already, demons were tempting at the edges, trying to get in, but none of them were quite as grotesque or nor as gruesome as they'd looked before. Their faces were twisted masks of suffering, but beneath that suffering, she sensed no malice, only pain. Pain so great that anything could be justified in pursuit of its end. Pain great enough to destroy entire worlds, if only to ease their suffering.

The cathedral around them was a work of art, hauntingly beautiful. The mural on the ceiling seemed ready to burst downwards to join them, the stained glass windows ready to shatter forwards into glittering golems.

One final time, she turned back towards Nikolak. Her flesh was stained with ashes down to the bone, but from within the gaping cracks appearing on her body, she saw something else. Something kindred to the cathedral, to the suffering multitudes around her. Something that called to both halves of her soul, something entirely alien to all the Naga as a people. It was then that she realized that Lonely God could never have created the Naga. They were a soft spoken people, quiet and peaceful in their deserts. He created the wolves, the firstborn. He created proud eagles who soared on the wind and bright eyed lizards who thrived in the jungles. Everything crystalized for her then; the reason Naga and Bipedal races never got along, the reason Nikolak was an outsider amongst the Naga, the reason that she perpetually suffered. She was trying to escape her past, trying to become something foreign to her own nature. She knelt close and whispered to the misbegotten guardian, lost so long amidst her own suffering. "What is your name?"

Nikolak turned upwards, confusion on her face as she whispered back. "I am Nikolak, first of the nightmares."

Shou shook her head impatiently, grasping tight to the spirit's wrists. "No. That's a title you earned. Khaesho told me once... Naga are born with one name, they inherit a second from their parents, and they earn further names through their deeds. Nikolak is a name you took onto yourself, after you vanquished a nightmare who plagued our world. Tell me your name. The name you had before the Naga, before a demon consumed your world. Tell me the name you couldn't tell Kalokin."

She quivered on her knees, but the muscles in her body tensed forwards, poised for action. Anxiety warred with adrenaline, fear keeping her petrified whilst also spurring her onwards to action. The ashen surface of her skin cracked further, and Shou could see the bones beneath, but those bones burned bright as she whispered the name. It was one word, but whispered from the father to his creation, Shou only heard the truth that it embodied.

"I am Filled with Monsters."

Her ashen flesh exploded outwards, propelled by a maelstrom as the oil of her blood ignited, burning down to her bones. She exhaled one last breath while she still had lungs to do so, watching as she was reduced to nothing... but not quite. The fire blazed hot, scorching impure flesh from her bones, but her bones burned hotter still. For thousands of years, she had denied who she was, denied her true name, and she had grown warped and twisted because of it. Now though, her soul was sparked anew, ignited by a kindred soul, a seed of her own fire that had finally met its maker. As the guardian paused, examining its molten bones, Shou stepped out of the thunderstorm confidently, fears lost as she knew now what lurked in the dark. She raised a hand towards the molten skeleton that had formed into a puddle from the waist down and smiled "Come, love... give me one more dance?"

The bones sank a little deeper, then surged upwards, planting a foot upon the ground to pull another forwards. With each step, the bones shifted slightly... losing the reptilian influence to grow pronounced canine fangs, Wolven claws made for fighting atop stronger, thicker bones. He took her hand as the nightmares flocked to him, but as they dove onto his body, they collapsed, smoldering, melting together into red muscle, coated with an inky fur and hide that embodied everything Shouyousei knew a strong wolf should be.

He took her hand, and they danced. A maelstrom of spirits raged around them, but they passed cleanly through Shouyousei, reverberating against her bones as they rushed back into the now-named soul of the lonely god. Gone were the reservations about what was right and what was just. Gone was the self-doubt that came from an entire civilization scorning it. Gone was the incessant worrying. In its place was confidence, bold steps that led Shou on a new dance, one whose path had not been trod in eons. They turned violently through the cathedral, eyes bright as they fought each other for the lead, ending only when the last of the forsaken returned to their master.

Every strand of hair was a different ghost, every fiber of muscle and flake of its skin was a different spirit, murdered without justice, and though he contained them, she could see his pain, pain that threatened to tear him apart. As they turned to a halt, she reached up to cup his face. "Tell me... why do you hold so tightly to the past? Why do you hold tight to their suffering? Their souls are heavy with pain; it need not belong to you. Let them be free. Face your demons so that you may lay them to rest.

He closed his eyes and exhaled, form thinning out as the ghostly manifestations of a thousand armies formed, filling the chapel and stretched beyond, encompassing the whole of the deity's soul. From them, one stepped forwards. He was not the fasted. He was not the strongest. And while he might not have been the slowest, or the weakest, he was still a runt. All the same, he was their leader.

"I am Khaejiran, first of the fallen. Golden one, you owe us a debt burdened by uncounted legions. How do you answer?"

The black wolf with golden eyes knelt before him, head bowed in submission. His voice sounded like Nikolak, but different... deeper, stronger, yet still ashamed, still awash with guilt. "By the weight of my own soul, I know myself to be guilty."

Khaejiran's face was immobile, showing not even the slightest hint of anger nor compassion. His bare hands thumped together to crack his knuckles. "Your negligence allowed the slaughter of our world, the entirety of our culture destroyed. We have no descendants to remember us, no new generations to carry our legacy. What penance have you made?"

The golden eyed wolf opened his mouth to answer, but halted. He remembered slaughtering many, he remembered bringing about the end of the world... but the debt they laid against him was for failing to prevent it. Two conflicting sets of memories warred within his head, and he sank to his knees, unable to reconcile who he even was. Seeing him frozen, seeing him in pain, Shouyousei stepped forth.

"He has bound his very soul to the demon who brought about your end, and by sharing his soul unto her, has given her compassion. Look also, and see, our world is more than cinders, it is arush with the breath of life. It was seeded anew, with new lives to tell new stories, and though I sorrow to say none remember yours, we carry your spirit forwards."

Both figures turned to her, and the ghost of a wolf long dead recognized a girl that could have been his daughter, separated by ten thousand years. "Wayward spirit, name yourself."

She bowed her head and spoke, hesitating at the end of her name, but giving herself a title she felt appropriate. "I am Shouyousei Murasaki, who has danced through the dreams and nightmares of gods. By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered all of creation."

Khaejiran and the lonely god both considered her for several moments before nodding in unison. The gold-eyed wolf spoke first. "I can never fully repay the debt that I owe to you and yours, but I know your souls, and I feel your weariness. I swear the oath my brethren swore, an eternity of servitude to those we are entrusted to protect. Need you remain to observe my vigil, or shall you finally go to rest.

Khaejiran answered simply. "We are too far gone. We have not the strength to reach the afterlife."

Like mist rising from the swamp, discarded ashes rose from the cathedral floor. They were what remained of Nikolak's cracked flesh, burned unto nothing, but reforming into a hooded figure, clutching a Shepard's crook. He spoke with Kalokin's voice as he extended a hand. "Come. I will lead the journey."

As one mass, the many souls turned and walked forwards. As each touched the grim specter's cloak, they slid into him, coalescing down into beads on a necklace, threads in his cape, grains on his staff, until all were gone. As the ghosts departed, the proud wolf seemed to collapse in on himself; they were the last remaining vestiges of the Lonely God's spirit, and as they left, Nikolak was once again alone with her soul. She was a wolf, pride of the first born, but she was undoubtedly the same serpent Shou had come to know. She looked confused, shaking her head for a few moments before stepping past Shouyousei and reaching out towards the back of the retreating Shepard. "Wait! Kalokin!"

The Shepard stopped, but it did not turn around. "You know well that is not my name. You have been freed from ten thousand years of pain, Nikolak Ex Belluosus, but only you can correct that final piece of guilt. I have my duty ahead of me, but when you wish to free yourself, know that I remain where I may be found." With that, he continued forwards, vanishing into the mist.

Nikolak sighed, then stood tall. She was almost as tall as Shouyousei, which was admittedly a low bar to set, but she seemed taller. Maybe it was the fact that her back was finally straight. The two wolves stared each other down for a moment before Nikolak flung herself forwards, wrapping her arms around Shouyousei. She probably would have been crying, but she couldn't help but laugh, with an open heart at last. The cathedral was brightly lit now, still as fearsome as it was beautiful, but that was alright.

Caught off guard, Shou couldn't help but embrace the smaller wolf and laugh with her, holding her tight as all the breath left her lungs in one long exhalation. "Nikolak... what just happened... what did we do?"

The smaller wolf paused as if uncertain of the name, but pulled back and nodded. "You helped me recognize a part of myself that I didn't know existed, guided me towards peace of mind, and helped lay to rest the literal ghosts of souls I had enslaved whilst a demon. They were the last vestiges of the Lonely God's spirit, and with them gone, I can finally rest easy. I have his memories, and his soul, but I carry my name. I owe you a souldebt, Shouyousei... any sings request, I will grant, if it is within my power."

She laughed at the absurdity of it. "So falling in love, gaining magic, and going on a whirlwind adventure shouldn't be enough to appease me? There's more to life that I should want?" They laughed at the absurdity of it, and she waved it off. "Keep your debt. Seeing you happy is enough. Although..." Nikolak had started to smile, but paused, face going rigid for a moment as she sensed what was coming next. "That Shepard... who was he? He sounded like Kalokin, but he denied the name... and earlier. Kalokin called you a liar, and that broke your bond to him. What didn't you tell him?"

Nikolak bowed her head for a few moments and inhaled deep. This moment scared her. More than admitting her flawed past. She could justify crimes made before she gained her soul, and in all honesty, the cumulative suffering of all that she'd killed still paled to the pain she'd endured. Grim as it was, she could justify that. Especially now that their souls were laid to rest, now that they'd stopped hounding her. This, though? This was a lie born from the utmost of selfishness, something that started from cowardice, then continued through selfish want for comfort at another's expense. Unable to settle her nerves, she leaned forwards and kissed the wolf full on the mouth, letting her tongue unfurl to dance with Shouyousei's. Shou let out a soft "eep" of surprise before leaning into it, still wanting her answer, but alright if it was delayed just a little while. When Nikolak finally pulled back, she spoke thus.

"Kalokin is a fundamentally different kind of spirit. His soul is that of the Naga. Steadfast, unchanging. Mine is... something wilder. More chaotic. Less controlled. Did you know, that the Naga have no adrenaline? They have something similar, but it isn't pleasant, and it certainly isn't something they'd go to a movie theatre to invoke. The souls of the Naga, of my brother, are utterly different from mine, but I used Kalokin's spirit to control my darker side. A certain amount of him soaked into me, twisting my soul, but such was a short term solution; while he controlled the raging ghosts of my past, his soul stained my own, warping it as surely as he warped yours when you first entered Khaesho's cave. I didn't ever realize it, because I thought my soul itself was evil that needed controlling, I thought that fear in all its forms was an evil to be avoided." She brushed a thumb down Shou's jawline with a smile. "You showed me differently."

Pride fought against her blush at being considered so highly, so she brushed the compliment off with a cough. "I just... I recognized you, your pain. Your ideals conflicted with your nature and your body, in the exact same way that I used to think I weighed too much, or wasn't pretty enough or kind enough to deserve you all... you and Kalokin and Khaesho. You three helped me past that anxiety... the least I could do was return the favor. Besides." The kind of wolfish smile that got its name precisely from men and women like her spread across her lips. "I happen to love a good horror movie. You and I can have a girls' night out sometime. You do still owe me an answer though, what about..." She made vague, hand wavy motions. "All the rest of it?"

Nikolak nodded, steeling herself against what had to be said, but delaying it further yet. "You rekindled my soul, from the core that was once the Lonely god, and it burned off the remnants of Kalokin that had soaked into me. That, I believe is what formed the ashes of the Shepard. He denied the name Kalokin, because he is older than that name. It doesn't fit him... Kalokin, as you know him, was born around the time I was gifted the lonely god's soul, but his spirit is so much older than that."

She was stalling and Shou knew it. She frowned, and got only Nikolak's innocent smile in return. She corrected that with a swift bonk on the head. "Stop beating around the bush. You haven't come this far to quit so close to the finish line. He mentioned one final guilt, and Kalokin called you a liar. What is it that you know?"

She sighed, clutching this last secret to her chest for just a few moments longer, but Shou was right. Much as she feared the telling, she wanted to unburden her soul from this secret, from this one, final guilt. When she spoke, Shou's eyes went wide, understanding now precisely why her bond to soulless serpent had shattered so violently.

"I know where Kalokin's soul is."