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As soon as they walked out the door, something happened with Albus and Dev. Albus got this strange wet feeling by his crotch, but it seemed to be INSIDE of his genitals. He looked at and felt the bulge in his pants, and asked out loud, in front of quite a few people, "Did I just have a phantom wet-box?" "What the fuck? As in, from like a ghost vagina?" Dev responded. "As if I had a pussy for a split-second, but now I have a dick and nuts again, and it just feels weird acknowledging that, like I'm not supposed to or some...thing..." "Does this mean you're trans? Should I call you something like Alba?" "I wasn't last night, so WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!? I have a lot to figure out, and-" and then their math teacher, a black Bear by the name of Anthoniel Steinson, interrupted with "And plenty of time to figure it out AFTER math class." "But right now I look at my fucking hands and they don't look like mine. They look like alien hands or some shit! What the fuck?" "Talk with the guidance counselor AFTER math class to figure this out."

And then they started walking down the hallway. Wait. Did I just feel my titties jiggle? I don't have tits, though, because I'M A FUCKING DUDE Albus thought, then reflexively covering his chest to hide his not-titty-having in all of its discomfort. WRITER'S NOTE: This shit that I mention here is the bullshit that's been keeping me from posting new episodes of my work, by the way. I might be trans or genderfluid. BACK TO THE STORY. He felt his pants chafe lightly enough to normally ignore on his not-remotely-aroused package, and that caused some actual pain and a lot of discomfort, causing him to cross his legs. Dev asked "Why are you crossing your legs like you're hiding a boner AND you just wet yourself?" "I don't know why, but I don't feel comfortable and it hurts a bit when I uncross my legs" "So it's reverse man-spreading?" "Only my entire body feels like it's the wrong one all of a sudden." "You'll get used to it! Just get where you look like a chick!" a technically-male Hyena in drag shouted, having not switched to the right parts yet, as though she were a gaming rig that had AMD for some unknown fucking reason instead of the almighty NVidia.

When they finally got out of the building, he saw a reasonably well-endowed, tall, muscular female Giraffe. He was already into muscle-girls, being mostly effeminate (meaning feminine aside from interest in action games and movies and shit like that), but the why-boner came when he saw that she was wearing athletic sneakers. He thought to himself Laces are a major turn-off, but the rest is- "WHAT THE FUCK!?" She responded "What do you mean 'What the fuck?' And why were you ogling my sneakers like they were my boobs or ass?" "I don't know why I'm thinking like this, but they're very sexy sneakers, okay? I don't know why all of a sudden different kinds of shoes turn me on, but fuck it! I'll just go now! BYE!" "Good riddance!" she replied as she left, in a sarcastically-polite tone of voice.

They finally made it to the classroom, where Albus sat right in between Dev (just lovely ^_^) and WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL THE NEED TO WRITE HER INTO THIS!? Wesha Hayden, a Pink bunny with a large rosary around her neck, turned to look at him, smiled and gave them a polite "Why hello, you two. My name's Wesha. I'm taking this course to get my theology degree, and I bet we're going to be great frie-" then she noticed that they were holding hands. "OH ABSOLUTELY NOT! TEACHER, HOW ARE YOU PERFECTLY OKAY WITH HOMOSEXUALS IN- "WE'RE BOTH FUCKING BI SO DON'T YOU MAKE ASSUMPTIONS YOU MONOSEXIST BITCH-TITS!" The teacher interrupted by saying "Wesha, what EXACTLY makes you think that anybody has a good reason to care, or that anyone cares except you? Whatever it is, dispel that notion before you get dropped from the course. This is not an uptight religious institution, and we will not tolerate intolerance, because that notion contradicts itself as well as" "FINE!" and she sat down aggressively.

Albus then raised their hand. "What is it now, Albus?" the teacher asked. "Mister Steinson, I'm currently questioning my gender identity (this just started today), and I felt like a stranger in my own skin and just in general felt like a woman (as in beyond gender roles) but that went away just as I was about to talk to the class about it. I think that means I'm probably genderfluid but I'm hoping for official confirmation on that, so could everybody just use gender-neutral pronouns and words for me? If you're going to do that for me, raise your hand" they asked the class, as the writer started using the one non-fucking-retarded-sounding gender-neutral pronoun, THE ALMIGHTY SINGULAR THEY, to refer to Albus, still feeling stupid for frequently misgendering themself and brushing off the MICRO-aggression of such, still getting used to that for their own sake, and the audience prepared for maximum confusion. EVERYBODY RAISED THEIR HANDS EXCEPT FOR WESHA. Dev took a split-second longer than everybody else to raise his.

"Sorry. It's just that I'm going to need to get used to that." "I'M still not used to using gender-neutral pronouns for MYSELF, and gender-binary ones annoy me slightly at the very least. At least that's one good thing to come out of the way the 1st amendment was fucking ripped to shreds in the last half-century or so on college campuses, even as obsessing over not offending anybody stopped being all that much of an issue everywhere else. At least people won't misgender me when they're calling me horrible things for joking about my own issues." Then Wesha had to open her fucking mouth again, and said "I REFUSE to play along to this delusion you and these 'transgender' people seem to share. You were made as either men or women, and that is what you are SUPPOSED to be!" "PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHOULD BURN IN HELL!!!" an effeminate male brown Lion with Harry Potter glasses and a mane dyed purple shouted from halfway across the classroom. "Everybody just stop talking about this and get on to talking about mathematics." And then they finally did.

After that, Albus went to their dorm instead of the guidance counselor, feeling the need to strip naked and look at his body in the mirror. "Okay, they're starting to come back. When I first looked at my body just a moment ago, I felt fine, but-" and then he started crossing his arms and legs to hide his lack of breasts and a vagina from himself or something, and continued. "But now I look at my body and it looks like someone else's. My face looks all weird, and so does the rest of my body. My question is: why did this only start happening...after...I dressed in drag...for the first time...to finally turn a fetish fantasy into reality? Well, either way you slice it, I'm probably fucked. Why? Because I'm probably not cis, and since it went away for the rest of class, and I even felt uncomfortable visualizing myself as a woman, I'm probably not completely trans, so either way, I'm going to spend quite some time feeling like I'm in the wrong body with the wrong parts, like a safety-oriented GM car."

BRACE YOURSELVES, AUDIENCE. WHAT SHALL COME SOON WILL BE A BARRAGE OF CONFUSING AND DUMB-SOUNDING PRONOUNS BECAUSE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS JUST FUCKED UP LIKE THAT, MORE PERSONAL ISSUES OF MINE THAT KEPT ME FROM EVEN KNOWING WHAT TO WRITE NEXT IN ANY OF THESE STORIES UP UNTIL I GOT THE IDEA TO WRITE MY OWN ONGOING ISSUES INTO THEM YESTERDAY AS OF TIME OF WRITING, COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF JOKES MADE AS A COPING MECHANISM THAT WILL EITHER MAKE YOU LAUGH UNTIL IT HURTS OR DEEPLY DISTURB YOU, AND LOTS UPON LOTS OF WEIRD SHIT!!! PREPARE!!!