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As she looked into his eyes, she felt a familiar falling sensation. She was half serpent by blood, her soul was unbound by the explosive discharge of her magic, and her mind was unashamedly open to the guardian in her arms; she stared a little too deep, falling face first into Kalokin's soul. It wasn't her intention - she had only ever met the gaze of Khaesho squarely. But the truth was she loved Kalokin just as much and so it only stood to reason that she would meet his gaze unafraid. Separated from her body, the lust she'd felt evaporated from her mind like a puddle off of summer-baked concrete. She blinked rapidly at the change of mindset, looking around to see what Kalokin truly was; no illusions, no distractions, no pretty facades or handsome masks

The world fell away, and she stood on an odd shoreline made of fine, ashen sand. To one side, an endless ocean sprawled, and simply glancing at it had Shou shivering in fright. It was a nasty, roiling tide that splashed and fought, leaping up as high as it could as if it wished to devour all the world. It leapt and crashed against the shore, instilling an instinctual fear in the wolf for reasons she didn't fully understand. Something about it was wrong... it seemed drenched in evil, seeking to devour all that was good in the world.

The sand itself gained color as it stretched out from the ocean, gaining the warm, sun-baked color most associated with the tall dunes of the desert. Just looking at it, she could tell that it was warm beneath a gentle sun, the perfect place to catch a few rays. Kalokin, or Nikolak for that matter, weren't readily visible until her strained voice spoke up from...

"Behind you Shou."

Her voice was weak and timid... ashamed? Shou turned hesitantly and gasped at what she saw. Nikolak lay on her belly, all but submerged in the horrible black surf. It grabbed and tugged at her, sucking her away, threatening to consume her whole. Only her torso remained out of the waves, but her scales were soaked the same black as the ocean, a dark void that swallowed the light. Staring closer, she realized that it wasn't liquid frothing around her... Countless demons of smoke and soul snapped at her tail, digging ethereal claws into her to drag her down. Each more terrifying than the last, each resolute in its task, and they would have succeeded if not for two glowing chains that stretched from Nikolak's wrists. She held tight to the brightly glowing links, like a drowning man would cling to a life preserver, and their strength held her out of the bottomless ocean. One chain was pulled taut, held firm by the familiar body of Kalokin, half buried in the ashen sands, whilst the other led directly to Shou's heart. She did not feel any force, couldn't feel any pull from it, but she could feel Nikolak holding, straining for it as if it were anchored to the earth itself.

"Sorry if it's kind of a mess... We really weren't expecting company."

She stared for a few moments, eyes wide with wonder at the spectacle, shocked from the shame in Nikolak's voice. She remained frozen only for a moment though before she dashed to the black snake's side, chain reeling in to remain taut with every step. The fear she felt at the sight of the black ocean was nothing compared to the well of affection and concern she had for the spirit. Moving to be close to her, she knelt, then crouched - reaching out to stroke her hands along her face, gently.

"Pfft, who isn't messy sometimes? Didn't you see my apartment? I can handle a little mess."

Nikolak gave a dry laugh, smiling despite her situation, and suddenly the dark didn't seem quite so oppressive anymore.

"Heh... good to know you won't judge me for it... Careful though... I don't think you want any of this to touch you."

This close, she could see the individual demons clearly... they'd gone still with her proximity, but their phantom claws remained deep in Nikolak's hide, piercing her body without spilling a drop of blood. She stroked Niko's face, letting the motion trail downwards to stroke the chain connecting them. "What is this place...?" She reached out with a hand to brush the chain where it bound at his wrist, and gasped as lights and sounds played against her mind. It was a memory... of the first time they'd seen her. She saw herself from afar, a hiker enjoying a quick lunch outside exactly the wrong cave. A quick trick, and they'd stolen her sandwich, but a light in the dark caught her attention. From their eyes, she watched herself walk into their cave, boldly striding into the dark without any supplies, nor even a flashlight to guide her paws. They had an odd angle to watch her from, high and to the side, and just as she walked out of view, the perspective snapped around to follow her again, as if she was watched from many eyes in the dark.

Shou let her fingers brush lightly down the chain, dancing through the links and saw in rapid succession Khaesho leading her through the tunnels, the Naga staring into her soul, she and he sinking down to the soft carpet of furs. It was Khaesho's body, but they were Nikolak's memories all the same, the memories of a lost phantom finding meaning in a wicked wolf's smile.

The black tide yanked hard, and this time Shou felt it, not as a force, but as a pressure, a dull weight in her skull, and now, she was close enough to hear their voices, whispering. You don't deserve her. She will never love you. She will never understand. You will never be forgiven. It was a voice Shou knew all too well... one she'd heard in whispered gossip all her life, one that emanated from her own lack of self-worth. You didn't deserve the lead role. You weigh too much to ever find a boyfriend. Once they know your past, they'll revile you. You're unclean. You're defiled.

The memories came unbidden, sliding through the chain to Nikolak just as Shou overheard Niko's demons. They shared a moment, a glance of empathy. Shou knew what it felt like to doubt her own worth, and that shared moment strengthened the already rapidly growing bond between them. The softly glowing chain, gained black armor, kinship born from shared suffering.

"Wait, Kalokin, something's wrong, my chain just..." She didn't know what it had just, but as Kalokin slithered closer, he took her hand and traced her fingers over the newest, darkest link. His voice was awash with wonder, undiluted and unabashed.

"You suffered as she does... and she sees how beautiful you are now. That gives her courage."

Bright words, but Nikolak didn't look courageous, she looked exhausted. She looked like someone on the edge of a decision that couldn't be unmade.

"Sorry to bother you with this Shou... With what you know about me, I'm pretty sure the symbolism here is evident. The black ocean. The white desert. Me, slowly being consumed by my own nature. I swear I'm trying to get better Shou, but... some days, it just hurts... it hurts so much that I... I wonder still, what it would feel like to let go. Ghoz never trusted us, and sometimes, I fear that I might still prove him right. It would hurt at first... but then I'd be like I used to be. Evil. Then, my siblings could hunt me down with clean hearts and I could finally rest, Shou. You have no idea how much I want to go back to sleep... but I can't... can't leave this behind either..."

The chain glowed brighter, and ghostly phantasms of hundreds of Naga appeared behind Kalokin. She only recognized one, the soft-scaled form of her dark prince, but seeing him was enough; these were all the people Nikolak had ever cared about. Each held a chain to Kalokin, each anchored him so that he in turn could anchor Nikolak. She looked up to him and gave a soft nod, and all of them began to pull in unison. They made progress too, and it looked like they were slowly pulling her forth inch by hard fought inch, until Shou looked closer and saw that as they pulled her from the dark tides, the many claws embedded in her destroyed her, carving her body like a fine thanksgiving turkey. She ground her jaw, desperately trying to gain just another inch, but it was too much.

She screamed, a long, high wail that all but bent reality around it. It was inhuman, a sound produced by suffering so great that no mortal could even comprehend it. The ghostly chain bearers faded, leaving the three of them alone as Nikolak collapsed, sobbing.

"I'm trying so hard Shou, trying to be better, for you, for Khaesho, for everyone, but... I don't know if I can..."

She was weak and pitiful and broken, bereft of both hope and strength, and Shou's hear shattered at the sound. Her eyes softened further yet as she reached a hand to her cheek, caressing her scales.

"It's alright, love, no need to apologize. You never need to apologize, you understand? There is -nothing- for you to apologize for... You're more than your mistakes... I'm sure it hurts, it's alright darling, you can rest a moment." And she cried, soft tears falling from the corners of her eyes as she had sat beside her. Her hands trembled at the words, unable to keep herself from imagining exactly the scenario Nikolak had described. She wouldn't allow that though... she wouldn't let Nikolak sink to that depth. She wrapped her arms around his torso and moved closer to lay her head in her lap.

Softly she stroked her hand along his scales, and then she was leaning down to lick his face. Her tears fell to splatter against his scales. "Shh, I'm here, Nikolak, I'm here. You can rest for a little while, I told you before, didn't I? You have a beautiful, generous heart. I've seen it." Could she make illusions here? She wasn't sure, but she tried. Tried to bring forth the memory of the dream.

"I've seen the size of your heart... you, who suffers so much already, endured further pain for my sake, to keep me safe. Do you remember? A rattlesnake in a sand-washed city... you protected me there. If you think that I'm worth saving then you have to see the same value in yourself! I will be here to be strong for you... you can't be strong all the time - no man is an island, and I suspect you spirits are the same." She would trail her fingers under his chin, to have him look up. "Khaesho brought Shelandra to her chin for my sake. I have no doubt he would do the same for you. You have him, and Kalokin, and I. We know your demons, we've seen your past... and we're still here for you. We know all of your dark secrets, and we're still here. Surely that counts for something?"

She looked back to Kalokin, and he nodded, pale face resolute. They shared a soft smile, but when she looked back to Nikolak, what she saw was a greater shame, a guilt heavy enough to drag even the most stalwart soul down. She looked up, and Shou saw it in her eyes... she had the weight of guilt that can only come from betraying those closest to you. Her eyes screamed of the emotional pain that comes with lying to those who trust you the most. Kalokin, god of knowledge and debt, to whom trust was most sacred, looked at her with shock as he whispered one solitary word.

"Liar..."

In that instant, he lost the ability to trust her. Eons of co-operation, gone, because of something she'd been hiding since the very beginning. In that instant, he wondered what could be so horrible, so shameful, so soul-darkening that she'd hidden it for so long, successfully at that. What more could there be? What hidden weight pulled a her? He almost opened his mouth to ask, but in that instant, the chain binding them together snapped, just as the largest of Nikolak's guilts surged up from the deeps to snare her in its claws. Without Kalokin's strength, with Shouyousei's arms around the serpent, there was no time to react, no way to even reach out to her; Kalokin watched both wolf and serpent vanish into the black.

The last emotion he remembered was a stark sense of panic mixed with shame, and then he was alone. Completely cut off from Nikolak, unable to feel even the barest of emotion, he briefly wondered what it was that Nikolak hadn't told him... and if it even mattered. The surface of the ocean was still, neither Naga nor Wolf in sight, not even a quiver on the surface to mark their presence. Disconnected, he slid out of the dark guardian's soul against his will, falling up into the truck, where Khaesho slept soundly in the back seat. Shouyousei was in a trance, eyes completely glazed over with ink, so the ghost did all that he could in such a situation; he fractured a small part of his soul to watch and take notes, then went to go see if Shelandra. No naga had ever survived a full possession by Nikolak without going critically insane, so he needed to take notes on what happened with a Bipedal. They had different souls... Shou might react differently. Or she might not. He didn't know, but he knew that this was a fast way to find out.