Oh, College: Side Stories: Horsecock Joe
#10 of Oh, College
Ever wonder what that one douchebag from the cafeteria does in his spare time?
This is fucking hilarious if you have Morgan Freeman's voice as the narrator. Trust me.
This story is about Joriel Samaeus, aka Horsecock Joe. The story starts about a year before Albus enters college. Joe is single and broke, but lives with a female roommate, also single and poor, and what do horny college students do to earn money? Make amateur porno, I'm pretty sure. That seems to be an actual thing, somehow. Anyways, as you can imagine in a story about somebody called Horsecock Joe, they liked it, and he did more and more, until he started doing gay-for-pay shoots. After his first, he questioned whether he only did that for the money and to show off to the cameras, or because he genuinely liked blowing his load on the faces of both genders. He was like that before he made a career out of it, by the way. That was a few weeks before the cafeteria incident.
After that, he spent a while thinking about his sexuality, experimenting with it, and not telling anybody once he found out he was bi. When he first "met" (ie got angry at) Albus, he was deep in the closet as bisexual, having figured out but having told no one. This is a spoiler alert for upcoming episodes of Oh, College, by the way. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! DAH DAH DUM!!! WRITER'S NOTE: the spoiler alert means that I thought of a future subplot as I was writing this, so it's a really good thing that I did. BACK TO THE STORY. He went and talked to Devon, then to Albus, then he stopped doing porn and instead just became a male model, the main difference being that you're supposed to have your clothes on, and there's no actual sex, which would seem like a disappointment to most 18-year-old guys that aren't asexual, but he was always just one for showing off. That, and he made more money and he got dirty looks from people.
After people stopped knowing him as the one dude everybody wants to get pounded in some hole or another by, and started knowing him as the one guy that got paid fucktons of money to wear the same clothes as trendy, insecure conformist wankatrons that have the stench of Axe body spray about them. He honestly wished from the get-go that he could be both, but then again, even he was held down by inhibitions, like they were muscle-girls and he were...you know what? Never mind that train of thought. Let's just move the fuck on before I write another weird sex scene when I don't feel it's appropriate. Anyways, from then on, he learned the most important lesson of all regarding sexuality that doesn't have to do with consent, venereal diseases or the wonders of atheism: keep it private, and nobody will know about it, and nobody will judge.