FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Br'er Rabbits

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A Commission In Trade

For James Foxes

-

by Dissident Love

Copyright 2013

All persons and characters herein are woefully fictional.

Any such resemblance to any other persons or characters,

real or imagined, is due to good faith and literary homage,

so please don't sue me. I don't have any money anyways.

"Hmmmm, not bad," Riley murmured appreciatively to no-one in particular, scrolling down through the gallery's images. "Not bad at all!"

This particular gallery was found mostly by accident, just following linked pages to linked pages to further linked pages, which was really all that was left for him. Years of dedication, fuelled by his restless hormones and ever-growing yet unsatisfied desires, had made him a permanent fixture on nearly every hyperphile, macrophile and fur-friendly site known. There was hardly an artist, message board or niche fetish that was unfamiliar with his good-natured presence, which he was now realizing was the problem.

As he had thought many nights, but more and more frequently as of late, there was nearly nothing left for him.

As impossible as it seemed given the nearly endless landscape of the internet, he was starting to think he'd seen it all. Everything new was just a permutation of a classic, or was pushing the boundaries of what he considered good taste.

Even the gallery he was currently browsing, full of some monstrously oversized yet still invitingly cuddly Photoshop creations, was all too familiar. The sizes, the poses, tummies and throats stretched out beyond all rationality... it was exciting, it was enticing, but it wasn't new anymore.

He reached the end of the gallery, and sighed. "And... I guess that's it for tonight."

He closed the gallery tabs, and went through the calming pre-bed routine of checking all of his various forums and message boards. "Nothing, nothing, nothing, don't care," he mumbled, clicking through and closing them with practiced ease. "Nothing, nothing... new website?"

Furiendship.net was an open, welcome group of like-minded people, although the hyper contingent was woefully small. Riley, or never2big4love as he was known online, enjoyed a few threads on that site, but there was generally not much there to intrigue him. The new red-flagged thread, 'Real Fur Dating?', had triggered some of his automatic notifications, and he obligingly clicked on it.

"Probably just another Second Life ripoff," he chuckled.

He was not disappointed. The post read like an advertisement, breathlessly extolling the virtues of the new website which was currently looking for beta-testers for its new Fur Real Dating Service. The cheesy pictures that accompanied it were admittedly well-made, showing men and women of all types apparently out for romantic dinners, arm-in-arm at the movies or strolling along the beach with all manner of what were no doubt exceedingly expensive fursuits.

He peered closer. Very expensive fursuits! He doubted any he'd seen at cons or get-togethers were that well made! Well, if they were offering dream dates with cutting-edge suiters...

Riley shrugged. He wasn't much into fursuits, but he was a little lonely. His house, left to him by his parents years ago, was nearly an hour's commute outside of the city, and his nearest neighbor was probably ten minutes away. After work he sometimes stuck around the city, but he was at the mercy of the rail and had to be home before midnight, which was starting to make his lack of a social life more frustrating.

"Eh, what the hell," he sighed, and clicked.

---

It was nearly half an hour later when he started on the final portions of the application process.

Normally he'd have quit long before, but constantly scrolling across the top of his screen were animated banner advertisements showing the fur-human couples enjoying their times together, laughing and hugging and, yes, even smooching. There was a nagging doubt that they were fur-suits, but he quashed it. Some of them were exceptionally well-built: the females were busty and curvy to a remarkable degree, while the males were very... difficult to find pants for. Really, they were suits! What else COULD they be?

"Page 72 of 73," he laughed. They certainly were thorough! It was only a handful of questions per page, and he felt like he was undergoing a psych analysis, but it was just so... different than he'd expected that he'd been unable to stop.

He saw the questions on this page, and immediately sat up. "Say, now we're talking!"

Question 332: What is your prefered familial species of partner? Well, that's easy, he thought, scrolling down through the selection box and picking 'Leporidae'.

Question 333: What is your preferred number of partners? He blinked. Huh! Unexpected, but... all right. The options were '1', '2', '3', '4', and 'Contact Technical Support'. Might as well go out on a limb, he decided, and selected '2'.

Question 334: On a ratio scale of 1 to 10, how dominant do you prefer your partners to be? The options went from '1:10' all the way up to '10:1'. He wasn't really submissive, exactly, but he did prefer the other person to be in charge now and then. The mouse hovered over '7:4', before settling on '8:3'.

There were several more questions no longer asking about his personality, but asking what sorts of personalities he liked in others. Here he could make several selections, and he had a hard time stopping. 'Romantic', of course. 'Mischievous'. 'Cuddly', definitely. 'Assertive', well, that just backed up the dominance question! Click, click, click, click, click...

The final page had a very curious title.

'Congratulations! You have passed your application process with flying colors! In order to properly express our gratitude at your patronage of our service, please select from the following list of interests, fetishes, and preferences!'

He blinked. He passed? He still had one page to go, surely? What exactly had he just filled out?

There were a few more pulldowns, and he swallowed nervously when he saw what was available. He glanced around, unable to shake the feeling that he was doing something naughty that he really shouldn't be doing. It was probably just like a video dating service, he thought, and when it came time for them to deliver they were going to slap him with an ENORMOUS fee, and he'd never collect. Surely!

So what was the harm in being honest?

He made his final selections, a blush rising in his cheek, and clicked 'Ok'. The screen went all but blank, except for a small box that read 'Thank you! Processing...'

He stared for several minutes, but the box never changed, never went away. He checked his other browser tabs, and found they were working properly. He checked his e-mail quickly, finished off his forums, and made one last perusal through the picture galleries, until all that was left was the small, terse message box.

"Uhm.... ok then," he muttered. He typed the site's URL into the address bar and hit enter, and was not altogether surprised to see a 404 error. He clicked the Back button, and also received a 404. The Fur Real Dating Service's online presence was gone.

Riley rolled his eyes, closed his browser, shut down his computer, and went to bed, disappointment following on his heels.

---

Work the next day was... well, it was work. It was about as fun as work ever got. Riley was a legal secretary (the running joke in the office being that, at the tender age of 23, he was a barely-legal secretary), and for ten hours a day it was his job to research, locate, transcribe, collate and present more than a century of legal documents in an increasingly litigious society. Sometimes, on a good day, he turn a thousand pages of dry, mind-numbing data into ten pages of condensed legalese that he still barely understood.

Normally his left brain could focus while his right brain drifted free, fantasizing about all sorts of things, untethered by boring day-in day-out drudgery. Today was no exception. All night he had been dreaming about those exceptional fursuits, wondering if that website would ever try staging a comeback, whether or not he had a chance. His forums had been very sullen about the whole thing; strangely enough, none had actually claimed to have seen any application buttons. No-one seemed especially surprised when the short-lived website went offline.

He couldn't tell himself he wasn't disappointed.

The rail trip home was packed and boring. He didn't manage to snag a seat, as usual, and found himself holding onto a post and pressed against a window, the brisk winter air outside sheeting inside of the pane with frost. After a long day, the white noise of the electric engines, the vibrations seeping in through his legs, the susurrations of the other passengers all conspired to try to knock him unconscious. When the doors finally opened, he staggered gratefully into the shocking cold of the night, inhaled deep, and made his way briskly home.

Fifteen flat blocks, and he could do it in his sleep. The houses in his area were all estate lots, but more dilapidated than not. His nearest neighbor was a pretty good drive with a golf ball away, and he only knew that because he sometimes took a bucket of golf balls out onto his deck and tried to hit them. Only one broken window so far, and no cops.

The door clicked shut behind him and he gratefully breathed in the warm air, shedding his wintry outerwear, multiple layers ending up on the small army of hooks by the door. With six months of winter and six months of bad sledding per year, he was well used to it. "Home sweet home," he said automatically, as much of a ritual as the train ride home.

He filled up the kettle and put it on the stove, wanting nothing more than a hot tea, followed by another, then another, and maybe one more before bed. It started to purr almost immediately, but he knew the icy water was a long ways from boiling. Riley sorted through the vast collection of teas on his mother's old spice rack, finally selecting some lavender concoctions he'd picked up online. He found it deliciously strong but also quite bitter, and he wanted the excuse to load it up with comforting sugar and cream.

"All work and no play makes Riley... something something," he whispered to himself, wandering into the cavernous living room. There was a large couch in front of the large TV, a computer desk by the far wall, and that was it; the huge room seemed almost achingly empty. Another night at home, alone, poring over the same forums, the same galleries, the same pictures.

A gust of wind rocked the house, aged timbers creaking. His hand hovered over the mouse, prepared to wake the expensive machine up. That was certainly some weather tonight, he thought. It sounds just like...

The knock at the door came again, louder this time.

Riley turned, slowly. No-one knocked on his door. No-one ever knocked on his door. Not in the four years he'd lived there had anyone knocked on the door. Someone had rung the doorbell once, someone coming to check the gas meter, but that was it.

The porch seemed to rattle. Footsteps.

Footsteps leaving?

"Hold on!" he called, dashing for the front door.

He paused for a moment to compose himself, listening for any further sounds from the porch. Hearing none, he flung the door open, prepared to call after whoever it was had come and gone. He was expecting to see some civil servant, clutching at a warm, expensive black coat, hurrying back to their idling vehicle.

What we was not expecting was to have a brown-furred fist extend through the portal and rap him smartly on the bridge of his nose.

"Oh! I do say, I'm very sorry!" the figure said rapidly, pulling back his fist and holding it to his mouth as though burnt by Riley's face. "I didn't think there was anyone home!"

"Then why were you knocking?" spoke the slightly taller and much lighter figure.

"Eh?"

"If you didn't think there was anyone home, why were you knocking? It's ridiculous."

"Well, obviously I THOUGHT he was home, but I was also suspecting that he might not be, what with all of the door-answering that he wasn't doing!"

"Think before you speak, dear brother! You're making us look like fools!"

Riley stared back and forth, jaw hanging open, not even noticing the spreading bloom of dull pain in his nose. Standing on the porch, apparently heedless of the cold, were two... well, there was no two ways about it. They were rabbits. They were humanoid (anthro, he corrected himself!), the dark brown one wearing a red sleeveless vest and the white-and-tan one with a blue vest. They wore loose-fitting trousers and their large, long feet made furrows in the dusting of snow on the porch. The brown rabbit, who was a few inches shorter and slightly stockier, had floppy ears pulled back from his eyes, while the taller lapine's ears were pointing rigidly upwards, swiveling slightly with each gust of wind.

The argument continued, with the baffled human staring back and forth like a tennis fan.

"There was a distinct possibility that he wasn't home, that is patently and empirically obvious. With each iteration of knocking, the probabilities became more accurate, so whether or not I thought one outcome or the other might be true is irrelevant."

"Don't you bring categorical semantics into this! You always wonder why people don't take you seriously, other than your silly ears? This is why! Now look, you're clearly embarrassing the poor boy!"

"You started it! He answered the door and then you began debating the merits of philosophical certainty!"

"You started it!"

"Uhm..." Riley said slowly, eyes wide like dinner plates. "Hello?"

Both rabbits snapped back to attention, all smiles and puffed-out chests. "Hello!" they chimed in unison. "Congratulations, on behalf of Fur Real Dating!"

Riley knew he was forgetting something. Something very important. These weren't fur-suits, that was plain. They were... they were real. Their coloring and general shapes were very different, but their pink noses wriggled with the same vigor, their incredibly deep, azure eyes sparkled with intelligence, and they both spoke with the same speedy, clipped precision.

He opened his mouth to ask something, but then he remembered what it was he'd forgotten to do.

Peter and Benjamin watched the human's eyes roll back, frowning when he slumped bonelessly to the ground, fainted dead away, having not breathed in since opening the door.

"That was your fault."

"Not ever!"

---

He came to while being lowered gently onto the couch, strong fluffy hands gripping his shoulders and knees. For a second, just a second, he really thought that it had all just been a wonderful, weird waking dream... but then a floppy brown ear flipped forward over Peter's head and slapped him full in the face.

"Oh, I do say sorry!" the lapine said wide-eyed, standing up straight to remove the offending appendage. "That was terribly rude of me."

"Honestly, I can't take you anywhere," the white-furred figure sighed. "You're making us look like jerks."

"It's not my fault," the darker one muttered.

"Yes, it is! There is a REASON I buy you scrunchies by the truckload."

"I couldn't find one to go with my outfit!"

The taller rabbit eyed his brother critically. "You're wearing red. You always wear red. What doesn't go with red? You have every color imaginable!"

"Oh, like I'm going to take fashion sense from someone who wears blue over white. You look like a teacup."

Riley raised his hand. "I, uh, really don't mind," he said, knowing he would remember the weight of that ear, the silky smoothness, warm and cool at the same time.

"Sir, please, this is a personal matter," the alabaster fur said. "Now, then-"

In a flash, the darker rabbit knelt by the side of the couch, enormous eyes filling Riley's vision. "You're awake! I am dreadfully sorry about the porch, and the ear just now. It was not my intention for you to suffocate yourself!"

"No no," Riley said quickly. "All my fault! I was just... startled... by... uhm..." The nervous human glanced down his body to where a chestnut-furred paw the side of a soup bowl rest comfortably in his lap. Standing just beyond the foot of the couch, the ivory bunny had the good manners to roll his eyes in shared chagrin.

"Brother, that's impolite," he said softly.

"What is?"

"Your paw?"

Peter looked at where his other paw was cradling Riley's head. "What about it?"

"The other one..."

"I don't mind, really," Riley squeaked.

The taller and apparently more mature rabbit rounded the end of the couch and hauled the shorter one to his feet. "We discussed this, in detail, dear brother. It's gone a little off-script, but that's no reason to throw the entire script out the window!"

They bickered back and forth for several moments, and Riley used the time to process the confusing scene. They weren't fur-suits... they were real. That meant there were real furs in the world? How? Why did they reveal themselves through a dating website? How did he get through to the entire seventy-three-page application form when none of his friends did? What was the test about? He must have passed, considering the occupants of his living room.

It was only then that he properly noticed, due to his supine position on the couch, that the two bunnykin seemed to be quite well-endowed. Very well-endowed. Suspiciously well-endowed. Their trousers were specially-cut, it seemed, giving them room exactly where they needed it, but it was obvious that whatever lay beneath that heavy brown fabric was enormously heavy.

He realized the room was silent and glanced up into two pairs of wide, sparkling eyes.

"Hey, Benny, I think he likes us," the dark-furred rabbit purred.

"Can we please try to get back on script?" the other said softly, running his fingers back through his warm auburn hair. "Please sit up, sir."

Riley sat up obligingly, and in a flash the rabbits descended, sitting to either side, hip to hip to hip. The startled human squeaked, hands fluttering, unsure of where to put them. "How... how did you two..." he started to say, but he was cut off.

"My name's Benjamin," said the pure white rabbit. "This is my brother, Peter."

"Hi," Peter chirped, resting his paw on Riley's lap once again, just as Riley was putting his hands down. "Pleased to meet you."

Riley's jaw moved, but no sound came out. His pale fingers brushed against the back of Peter's paws, amazed at their satiny smoothness. "Me too," he managed.

"And we represent the Fur Real Dating Service," Benjamin continued. "You were accepted through our random-draw system, and given access to the psychological profile testing server, where you... well, legally, I'm not allowed to tell you your score, but I can say they are among the highest we've ever received."

"Highest?" Riley asked. "Highest for... like, what? Gullibility? Earning potential?"

"Honesty," Peter said, flipping a finger up with each point. "Romantic aptitude. Mental fortitude."

"Mental fortitude?"

Benjamin shrugged a little shyly. "Yeah, some of our... earlier customers were, ah, less than stellar at dealing with the realities of their circumstances."

"One of them's shacked up at the whacko basket!" Peter said helpfully.

"Peter!"

"What?"

Riley's head snapped back and forth, trying to follow the banter. "Uhm..."

"She's perfectly all right," Benjamin said softly, patting the human's shoulder. "She received some excellent psychological attention, and now, lamentably, believes it was all a strange hallucination. Pity, really."

"So now it's part of our tests that you don't go all Fruit Loops on us."

"Peter!"

"What?!"

Riley raised his hands. "It's ok! Really. I... well, I guess it wouldn't be worth my high score if I let something like that upset me, right?"

"Exactly!" Peter crowed, clapping their new client on the shoulders. "I told you he was a bright one, eh? Except for the whole forgetting-to-breathe thing."

"I will claim responsibility for that one," Riley chuckled. "High score or not, it came as a bit of a shock to see... to see twin wonders such as thineselves upon my stoop, pleading entrance.."

"My word! He spoke what he doth speaketh in Elizabethan!" the dusky rabbit giggles. "I like this one, brother!"

"Easy, easy," soothed Benjamin. "There's a little bit more to the script-"

Riley sat patiently, waiting for further words, acutely aware that one paw of each color now rest comfortably on his thighs. His new friends were otherwise motionless, however, and it was only then that he noticed Peter's floppy, unruly ears were straining to reach towards the ceiling. "Uhm," he said. "Is this in the script?"

Benjamin rose like an shot. "Tea!" he cried, dashing off to the kitchen even as the first faintest sounds of the kettle boiling reached Riley's own small, pink ears.

"Oh! I forgot I put the kettle on before you arrived," he explained, but the angelic bunny was gone, cottontail wiggling like a power saw.

"He'll get it, no problem," Peter said, his ears drooping gratefully once more. "A nice spot of tea will calm everyone's nerves, I think."

"What? I'm calm!"

"Then why does your leg shake so much when I do this?" Peter asked, eyes huge and innocent, squeezing Riley's leg a pinkie's width from his lap.

"THAT'S... just a... it's rather chilly in here?"

"Then it's a good thing he's fetching the tea, isn't it?" The dark-furred lapine's voice continued to drop, so low Riley had to lean in slightly to hear. "We can't have you cold or uncomfortable, else we might have to find ways to warm you up."

Riley felt the blush rising in his cheeks. "Yeah, we wouldn't want that," he breathed.

He had a million questions, so many jumbled together that they couldn't agree who would go first. His jaw continued to work, lips forming seemingly random shapes, until one managed to free itself from the clutter and tumble forth. "Where did you come from?!" he blurted.

"The front porch."

Riley stared. "That's not quite what I meant..."

Peter giggled. "Really? My mistake, then."

"You can't be the only ones! All those ads on the website, there were dozens of you! Er, I didn't mean 'you' quite like that, but... well, furs! Furries! Fur... folk? What do I call you?"

"'Peter' will suffice, thank you."

His blush crept past his eyes, and he had to wonder just how mortified he looked. "I just meant, where were you born? You and Benjamin." Another thought trickled through. "Wait, is he really your brother?"

Peter scratched at his muzzle. "You don't see the resemblance?"

"Truth be told, I'm more striking than handsome," Benjamin said from the kitchen, appearing with a serving tray, a teapot and several cups. "I have to say, Riley, I've never seen a tea collection quite so expansive outside of my own kitchen! Remarkable. Everywhere it's coffee this, latte that, phi-delta-cappuccino... very refreshing."

"Do I smell chamomile?" Peter perked, adorable pink nose wiggling.

"Probably. I threw a handful of bags in. He's got more boxes of tea than you've got vests, dear brother, and in more colors."

"I was always taught you aren't supposed to mix teas," Riley said automatically. "The pleasure of tea is in the gaps, the differences, the interplay of strong and subtle. Mixing them fills in the gaps."

Benjamin sat slowly, resting the platter on the poorly-named coffee table. "Really? I always thought too much of a good thing was always the way to go."

"I don't think he's a risk-taker, dear brother," said the dark-furred rabbit. "Perhaps we were wrong about this one."

"Tsk tsk tsk. A life without risk. Tragic."

Riley had to admit to himself, the smells rising from the pot did smell good. "I didn't say I wouldn't try it," he said slowly, trying to come to grips with the impossible situation. "I'm all about risks!"

"But you stay home every night," Benjamin said blithely, filling the teacups with one pinkie raised. "You leave work every day at the same time, hop on the rail, and zip home without a word. Oh, sometimes you stay midtown for a drink or an appy, but you never talk to anyone, despite a few longing glances. You spend your nights at home, alone, surfing the internet, where I must confess you have amassed a sizeable number of imaginary friends, but that's just not the same, is it. Tea?"

His fingers nervelessly found the cup, and it was only when he spilled a few drops on his pantleg did he properly grip it. "You got all that from a test?"

"That, and your security firewall is really pathetic. You must learn to clear your cookies more often." Benjamin sipped the steaming liquid, and smiled. "That's rather nice, actually. I always thought orange pekoe and vanilla went well together."

"It's like a hot Slurpee," Peter agreed, enjoying a taste of his own. "What do you think, Riley?"

Normally he'd never drink it so hot, preferring to wait until it had cooled down substantially (which would be another deviation from proper tea-drinking etiquette, he supposed), but he couldn't say no to such company. He winces as it burnt his lips, a line of fire tracing across his tongue, but the heady vapours flooded his head. Perhaps normally he preferred the singular signatures of his favorite flavors, but this wall of aroma was certainly an experience. "It's nice," he rasped.

"I think it might be a little too much for him, dear brother," Peter said gently. "A rare mis-guess, on your part! And you're normally so good at reading people."

"You must remember the importance of proper pacing, Peter," said the white rabbit. "Easing someone in gently. A little conversation, a spot of tea. Make a fellow feel comfortable."

"He feels pretty comfortable to me."

Benjamin sighed. "Peter, that's NOT where your hand goes."

Three pairs of eyes slipped down to where a silken brown paw was now placed squarely over Riley's zipper, fingers rippling and squeezing with fluid ease. Riley had been so distracted by the scalding of his tongue, he hadn't even noticed.

"But he's smiling!"

"It lacks a certain romantic charm."

"Should I leave you two alone?" Riley grinned, thoroughly enjoying the dextrous digits massaging his lap.

"Now look what you made him do, he wants to leave," Benjamin said in exasperation. "You do this every time! Honestly, I can't take you anywhere. This is why we have to operate in secret, you do know that, right? How can we expect the world to take us seriously when you can't take your mind off of groping the humans?"

"But they're so cute and soft and pink!"

"They don't stay so soft around you, OR pink," Benjamin muttered, pointing to Riley's florid complexion.

"Do I need to say again that I don't mind?" Riley said, raising his hand as though asking a question of his schoolteacher.

"It might help," said the brown bunny with another squeeze.

Benjamin just rolled his eyes. "Maybe you two were matched properly by the system," he admitted, a small smile spreading on his plump muzzle. "It's always been right before. More or less."

"What about the wacko basket?" Riley asked innocently.

The rabbits shrugged together. "Ninety-nine percent is still better than any odds in Vegas."

"I'll have to take my chances then," the human smiled, his free hand drifting to the serious-minded Benjamin's trousers. "If I feel in danger of a sudden nervous breakdown, I'll be sure to let someone know."

"Please do. Our insurance only covers willing clients." That ivory-furred smile spread further as Riley's nervous fingers became filled with warm, heavy flesh. "You do seem willing."

"I am slowly coming around to the idea," Riley said slowly. "It's just not how I expected to spend my evening, but I would be a fool not to say this is far better than what I had planned."

Peter downed his tea with one final gulp, carefully depositing the cup back on the platter. "Hey, I think he likes us," he said merrily, slipping his hand around to Riley's back, running blunted nails up his spine, electric tingles spreading through the human's body.

"Mmmm, that's foolish," Benjamin murred. "He hardly knows us."

"That's why we have the script."

"Ah, yes, the script. I knew I forgot... something..."

Despite his distraction, Benjamin's reflexes were still superb. He caught Riley's cup, not spilling a drop as the human's fingers went numb. At least, the fingers in his right hand... his left still moved slowly, almost reverently, across the well-endowed rabbit's lap, growing visibly more endowed by the second.

"Clumsy, clumsy," he chided gently, sipping from them both before putting them down. "Better get ready to call the office, Peter, I think we're about to lose him."

"Oh dear! This calls for drastic measures, dear brother."

"Drastic? Don't do anything brash."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Riley missed all of this, eyes so wide he nearly pulled muscles that hardly ever saw use. Peter's trousers had been well-cut and well-fit, but were rapidly running out of room. Beneath his palm lay a heavy sphere larger than a grapefruit, but with each breath it swelled larger in brief surges, forcing his fingers apart. His fingertips pressed against the long mound, straining against the hand-stitched seam and inching it's way further and further down the rabbit's thigh, bigger around than his wrist and still oh-so-soft...

"I think he's stopped breathing again."

"Right. Drastic measures."

"Do be careful, dear brother."

"When am I not?"

"Well..."

The edges of Riley's vision were starting to seep with red and black when two paws lovingly gripped his cheeks, pulling his head to one side. He craned his neck to get one final glance at Benjamin's lap before his world became filled with Peter's sparkling eyes, fuzzy muzzle pressed against his lips. Would that his mind could split in two, that he could focus all of his attention on each furry friend simultaneously, but it was all he could manage just to remember his own name.

Peter's paw, still resting in the human's lap, squeezed the abundantly aroused bulge there. "Disaster averted, dear brother," the darker lapine chuckled into Riley's mouth, tiny pink tongue lapping at his teeth. "He's breathing again."

"Lovely," Benjamin murmured, stroking at where Riley's hand continued to pet blindly at his nethers. "Mmm. He has a very gentle touch."

"He tastes like your ridiculous tea," Peter said, closing his eyes and moving in for another savoring kiss. A powerful paw pressed against Riley's chest, pushing him back against the cushions; he couldn't have resisted even if he'd tried. "I like it better this way."

Riley slipped his free arm around Peter's shoulders, but he didn't have to bother pulling the shorter bunny closer... the excitable fur practically pounced on him, flattening him against the couch! "Mmmf!" he gasped, suddenly finding himself pinned by the surprisingly heavy bunny.

Benjamin tsk'd. "Ever the model of restraint," he chuckled, giving Riley's hand a tender squeeze. "I don't think you'll scare this one off quite so easily, though."

Riley felt as though his blood had been replaced by lava. His hair seemed to crackle with electricity. Every nerve was more alive now than ever before. Surely the train had crashed, and he was in whatever passed for the Paradise beyond. He must have been a very good boy to end up somewhere like this!

"You're not actually dead, you silly boy," Peter murmured, nibbling his way to Riley's ear.

He jerked. "You read minds?!"

"Ha ha! Not in the slightest. You just have the demeanor of someone who's expecting to wake up at any moment."

"That, and you haven't moved for about thirty seconds," Benjamin chided, rolling his his meaningfully against Riley's palm.

"At least he's still breathing."

"I'll go put the defibrilator away then, shall I?"

Riley tried to shake the cobwebs out of his brain. "I'm sorry, this is just... a lot to handle..."

The white-furred rabbit pouted. "I've hardly even started growing yet, and he says I'm a lot to handle," he said with exaggerated gravitas. "And here the test had him marked down as a macrophile."

Peter paused his nibbling, arching his back, brushing his feather-duster chest ruff against Riley's face. "I don't know what you said, but our little friend here just went stiff as a three-masted schooner."

Riley made a soft little noise of disappointment when Benjamin slipped away from his one free hand, the couch shifting and creaking. "Really?" said the taller rabbit. "Maybe those headshrinkers were on the money this time, after all."

"What's happening?" Riley whispered, burying his face against Peter's inviting ruff and inhaling his strange, sugary yet unmistakably masculine scents.

"That's up to you, in a way," Peter purred reassuringly, stroking Riley's hair. "We're here because of you. Making our way in the world is never easy at the best of times. When we reach out, when we get close to someone, we need to be sure it's with the right person, and you, young sir, are right up our alley."

Riley twitched when Benjamin's lips spoke a hairsbreadth from his other ear. "Did you tell the truth when you filled out the form? The whole truth?"

As much as he'd wanted to be flippant and free with his answers, the human had to nod. "Nothing but the truth."

"Then you'll just... have..." Benjamin spoke slowly, throatily, punctuating each word with a kiss along Riley's neck, "... to... trust... us..."

I wonder if I should ask for a safety word, he thought, before four strong, gentle hands lifted him effortlessly into the air. There was motion, but pressed between the two of them he was too overwhelmed to make sense of it. Wait a minute... I'm taller than them... I mean, I was... how...

When he found himself in his bed, a majestic dark oak king-size that he longed to share with the right person, Peter and Benjamin looked down on him from either side, loving smiles on their muzzles and mischief in their eyes. Peter looked as he always did, effortlessly rumpled and casual with his ears flopped down his back, but one glance at his brother seemed to confirm what he already couldn't believe.

Benjamin's white ears, which had been only an inch short of the door jamb when Riley had found them on the porch, were now brushing the ceiling.

The door is about seven feet tall, the ceiling is, what, nine? This can't... it isn't... they're not...

It was Benjamin's turn to pounce, his hindquarters wiggling with tensed power before he leapt into the massive bed with a creak of protesting timbers. Riley expected to be nearly crushed under the giant's weight, but what pressure there was seemed more comforting than constricting.

Riley wasn't about to be mistaken for a corpse a third time. The angelic bunny was still dealing with the impact of his landing when the human threw a leg around his hips, clutched madly at his shoulders and kissed him with a passion neither of them had expected. It was the furry creature's turn to be struck motionless, but he recovered with a husky, lustful sigh. Riley melted against him when he felt those two fluffy paws press against him, one against his back and the other against his rump.

The human didn't know how long he was lost in that embrace, but be it seconds or hours, he gave a little squeak of disappointment when Benjamin removed his arms. Lips still pressed to muzzle, bristly whiskers tickling his cheeks, Riley opened his eyes questioningly, but saw that the snowy rabbit's attention was elsewhere.

Understanding flooded him with relief, and a wave of desire that caused a cold sweat to break out all over his body. The bed groaned alarmingly as Peter's weight moved onto the mattress, and Riley found himself once again pressed between the two visitors. A dusky brown paw slipped under his shirt, cashmere fingers caressing his chest, and he felt that heavenly ruff against the back of his neck.

"I think we need a bed like this at home," Peter rumbled, nuzzling the top of Riley's head.

"You think it's big enough?" Benjamin said pointedly, his knees reaching nearly to the foot of the mattress, squeezing the human's hips. "Not a lot of ankle support."

"Maybe have to get it customized..." the shorter bunny chuckled. "Mostly I like it for the company."

"You think it's big enough?" Benjamin echoed.

As if on cue, both rabbits rolled their hips and Riley became aware of just how much barely-concealed flesh was pressing against him from both sides. He parted his legs, lapine endowments eagerly swelling forth to fill the void. "I feel like I'm riding a horse," he moaned, fur and paws everywhere, a bewildering dance of desire.

"Wrong species, darling," the white rabbit whispered into his ear, giving it a little lick. "But I suppose I'll take it as a compliment?"

"Psshh. Horses," Peter scoffed. "Underachievers, the lot of them. Come on, big brother... let's show him what big really is."

The bed flexed noticeably beneath them as the weight suddenly increased well beyond its rated maximums. Riley couldn't see much of anything, snuggled up between the two oversized furs, but the volume of flesh between his legs ballooned alarmingly, his hip giving a little twinge of protest.

"Ooh, I've found the wall," said one of them, a distant thump of toes rattling the pictures.

"My ears found the other one," said the other. A muffled crashed forced Riley to try and sit up. "Don't worry, little fella! That was just a... hmmm, I think it was a dresser."

"We're fully insured and covered, and all damages will of course be reimbursed plus ten percent."

"We take care of our playthings."

"Benjamin!"

"Well, what would you call him?"

The luxurious, wandering paw slipped out of Riley's shirt and despite being larger than a throw pillow managed to pop the button on his trousers and slip into his underwear. "Adorable? Squeezable? My smooth little teddy bear?"

"I think 'plaything' covered all that nicely..."

A pale pink, quivering arm protruded from the pile. "I'm fine with plaything," Riley piped up.

"Ooo! It talks!"

"Such a deep voice."

"I don't think that's him."

"Well, it's not me."

"It's not me, either."

Riley figured it out a second later when the sturdy old bed gave a mighty, floor-rattling groan before collapsing, worn oak posts and panels scattering in all directions like dominos.

"That's covered!" Benjamin said hurriedly.

"Don't care!" Riley called, burying his face against the white rabbit's chest, his hands moving south to where their twinned bulges pressed heavily against his own. He couldn't even hazard a guess as to how big they'd become; he felt buried between mountains of velvet, impossible dreams made solid.

It was the distant popping of pre-war floor beams that eventually forced him to surface. His arms couldn't even embrace Benjamin's body, not by half, and Peter's growing paw had split his pants long ago. How big were they? How big could they get? But dancing out into the front of those thoughts was something he'd never have considered an hour before.

How can I make this last forever?

The mounds shifted, but Riley didn't make any further disappointed noises, knowing full well that this evening could only get better. He was squeezed, then motion, and then he found himself sitting upright, breathing cool fresh air. He panted gratefully, but his brain refused to believe a word his eyes were saying.

He glanced down, and even his eyes stopped believing.

"Oh my," he said placidly.

Across from him Benjamin sat cross-legged, the two-dimensional remains of Riley's bed just visible beneath his oversized footpaws. He was still wearing the blue vest, which had somehow managed to keep pace with his tremendous expansion, but at some point during their exertions the snug brown trousers had disappeared. Benjamin's legs were still obscured, though now it was by twitching, enormously swollen endowments.

Beneath Riley's rump lay Peter's own naked assets, visibly larger than his bigger brother's, and with regular, rhythmic thrums of surging blood and flexing sinew they continued to expand.

Even sitting as they were, the bunnies had to hunch slightly to avoid bonking their heads on the high ceilings, Benjamin's ears splayed out to either side. Riley tried to stifle a giggle, but it was no use.

"Something you find funny?" Benjamin grinned, one hand resting lewdly on a soft, fuzzy cock bigger than Riley's entire body.

"Mnrf!"

"I don't believe you," the ivory rabbit snorted. "Such cheek."

"I rather like his cheeks," Peter said, wrapping a hand protectively around Riley and snuggling the human as he would a teddy bear, making good on his earlier promise. "His house is defective, though. It keeps shrinking."

"They just didn't know how to build them in the old days."

Riley's hands slipped between his own legs, stroking at the brown lapine's shaft, legs straddling it like a horse (though he dared not say that word again!) "I don't think they ever counted on having occupants like you," he managed when he could unstick his tongue. His toes stroked at Peter's balls, each one so big he knew he had no chance of getting his arms around, and they expanded with unnerving vigor.

"Think they'll start anytime soon?"

"My next house, I'll make sure has a gymnasium," he moaned, feeling Peter becoming harder beneath him, watching Benjamin strive to catch up. Ten foot ceilings, he thought madly, and they're hunched over! Half the hypers drawn aren't as big as they are!

Part of him hoped they didn't get any bigger, as his room was already too cramped for them to move, but a larger part of him wondered just how much their insurance truly covered...

His heart pounded in his ears so hard he thought he might rupture something. Inch by inch, and soon foot by foot, the mountainous rabbits grew erect, crossing like swords above the wreckage of his bed. Veins bigger than his wrist began to pulse and pound just beneath their velvety surface. He reached out reverently, tracing his fingertips across the tip of Benjamin's shaft, even as Peter's bucked beneath him like a stallion.

Were they normal height, they'd still have been more proportionally well-endowed than anyone he'd ever heard of, anyone in real life, at least. He was reminded of one of his favorite art subjects, the delightful Cox Fox, though he doubted Cox had ever been drawn twenty-five feet tall!

One of Peter's ears flopped across Riley like a heavy curtain, and all three lovers laughed. "This is starting to hurt my neck," the brown bunny said softly, planting a smooch on the top of the human's head. "But I think someone's enjoying himself..."

Riley flattened himself against the chestnut column of muscle, slipping out of his boxers and the tattered remains of his torn shirt. "There's no way this is really happening," he said, amazed at the evenness of his own voice. "I mean, physics... biology... stuff..."

Benjamin leaned in close, and Riley watched the snowy lapine drag his oversized tongue along an impressive amount of oversized cock. "Who are you trying to convince?"

A high, clear snapping noise cut through the room, followed by a long, drawn-out groan of wood being pushed beyond all logical limits. "Uh oh," Peter managed to say before the wall behind him all but disappeared under the tremendous loads, tumbling backwards into the living room and carrying Riley with him.

Benjamin just sighed, watching his brother sprawl out on his back, legs filling most of the bedroom and ears nearly reaching to the front door. "That's coming out of YOUR deductible, not mine," he grinned.

"Builder's defect! Not my fault!"

Riley ended up face down on Peter's belly, bounced quiveringly up and down as the colossal rabbit laughed to himself. "I don't mind! More room is a good thing," he said with manic glee, his fingertips still telling him that, somehow, the mischievous fur was still growing. "High ceilings or not, though, you're still running out!"

Peter lay on his back, one hand stroking himself lewdly, the other petting his naked little rider. He had to shift himself to the side in order to give himself enough room; even laying on his back, his shaft easily thumped against the ceiling if he wasn't careful. "Mmmm, tight little spaces are some of my... favorite things..."

Benjamin crawled towards them on all fours, sliding his hands up the dark fur of Peter's long, powerful legs. "I think we missed our opening there, dear brother," he winked, kissing most of Riley's rump when he got closer. "There's not a yoga class in the world that could help him now."

"Awwww, that's quitter talk!"

"I agree!" Riley piped up, rolling over and finding himself face-to-face with the angelic older rabbit looming over him, Benjamin's muzzle rubbing against and starkly contrasting with Peter's cock. "I... you... oh my gosh..."

With the bedroom and living room now joined, and with one of Peter's legs in the kitchen and one of Benjamin's down the hall, the pair still managed to fill all of the available space. They nestled together lovingly, beatific adoration plain on their faces and filling Riley's heart with jealousy, and at the same time with pride that they had deigned to share this moment with him.

Watching them trace their fingertips over the other's shafts, though, and smiling down at him knowingly, made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"What now, dear brother?" Benjamin asked, nibbling at Peter's neck.

"Hmmm, I'm not sure."

"We've flattened most of his furniture."

"Only most? Slow night."

"We're about to find out if the upper floor has much room."

"Might need the attic for this one, big brother," Peter laughed. "Look into his eyes."

The plus-sized bunnies glanced down, and despite his teddy-bear proportions it was not difficult to read the exultant look on his face. "Will I get to see you again, after this?" he asked, stroking both of their bellyfluff.

"Well, that all depends."

"Indeed. We have very strict rules regarding satisfied customers."

"Quite so. Why, if this little soiree ended with an unhappy review, why, we'd have to make it right."

"Mmmm, exactly. We'd have to come back, and try again."

"Over and over, if necessary."

"But that's never happened to us! Our record is flawless."

"He could ruin everything."

"We'd be out on the street."

"Out on our tails."

With each word, they grew a tiny bit more, legs beginning to bend as room slowly ran out, squeezing their shoulders together as though desperate for warmth. There was no basement, but the sturdy beams and planks supporting the home were beginning to sag noticeably. Riley was no expert, but the remaining walls were acquiring a decidedly slanted appearance.

"I wasn't going to give a bad review, I swear!" he said quickly, even as their contradictory words sorted themselves in his mind. "I mean... wait..."

"So we'd better give him everything tonight, so he couldn't possibly want us back."

"Everything?" There was mock horror in the rabbit's voice.

"Mmmm, everything!"

"But we're under strict orders not to do that! Not after what happened the LAST time..."

They both glanced down at Riley again, grins oddly predatory for such placid vegan creatures. "It may be our only hope, dear brother."

"Do you think he can handle it?"

"His eyes say yes..."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Riley said nervously, glancing up at the twin marvels of their endowments were crowding the living room for space, and back at where their improbably swollen balls blocked any sight of their legs, "but the answer is yes."

"Ooo, and his mouth says yes, too!"

"I told you, I had a good feeling about this one... "

Naked, adrift an ocean of silky fur that was so deep his hands nearly sank out of sight, Riley wasn't entirely certain his heart or his home could survive any more of what these wonderful, heavenly bunnies could do, but if this truly was his lone chance, he was prepared to give it his all.

"You don't scare me."

The brothers inhaled sharply, the sudden loss of pressure rattling the windows. "Did you hear that?"

"I did! Such cheek!"

"I thought you liked his cheeks..."

"I'm half a mind to give them a filling they'd never forget!"

"Our insurance doesn't cover THAT!"

"Next time?" Riley said helpfully.

"Ooo, I really like him..."

Both bunnies shifted their weight, turning towards eachother with Riley tumbling into the warm canyon between them. He hardly had time to squawk before he became fully engulfed, fur and flesh and beating hearts all around him, Benjamin's cock below him and Peter's pinning him from above.

The weight... sometimes he'd fantasized about it, what it must feel like to be in the thrall of such wonderful lovers, rabbits of unusual size, pinned beneath them, at the mercy of their unstoppable drives. He felt as though he must certainly be crushed beneath them, as unnoticed as a fly, but despite the devastating pressure he felt cared for, felt like the warm little light at the centre of their world.

"I think he stopped breathing again."

"Is it my fault?"

"Well, it's not mine..."

"Oh, scooch over."

Most of the crashing had died away by the time Riley was freed from his cocoon, but the brisk night air playing over his skin snapped him out of his daze. He was laying on his couch, though that took a little bit of deduction and educated guessing: his couch had been thicker than a slice of bread before tonight, but no longer. The wall to his right was also far less present than he was used to, the few flickering bulbs that remained unbroken providing weak illumination and only highlighting the inky blackness outside.

He stood up a little unsteadily. "H-hello? Peter? Benjamin?"

There was a shuffling outside, and a thump that rattled the room's sole remaining window. "Ahhh, room to breathe," came one of their voices on the wind. "It's not half chilly out here, though."

"You trim your fur too short, I tell you every year."

"I like to feel sleek!"

The house thumped again, protesting down to it's very foundations, and the black rectangle of night air was suddenly replaced by a rich brown blur. Riley wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, for the brothers had to have fit through the hole on their way out, but the shapes present now were hard-pressed to even make themselves fully visible. Twin spheres strained at the opening, a faint, liquid churning audible even to Riley's small pink ears. He placed a hand on one in disbelief, and the sudden expansion forced him a step back.

"Mmmm, I think he approves, dear brother!" came a voice from far too far above his head.

"I told you. Good review or not, I think we might have to come and pay him a visit once more, on our own time."

"I couldn't agree more. Unf," Peter grunted, shifting his weight back and once again revealing the night beyond. "it might have to be at our place, though. I don't feel safe in his home."

There was a crashing noise from above, dust and plaster drifting down like snowflakes. "I fear I made a mess of the attic. It's a... snug fit..."

Riley's mind was filled with impossibilities, but considering how many such fantasies had come true already this evening he was starting to simply label them as 'for future reference'. Peter seemed to adjust himself, just barely visible kneeling on what had been his sideyard, and once again scooted closer, only now it was not just his balls that pressed forwards.

The brown bunny's shaft, nearly as thick as Riley was tall, slid into his living room, tight flesh visible through the badly thinned fur, beginning to grow glossy with sweat. The top rubbed against the ceiling, tilting down at an angle with each roll of the rabbit's hips, the entire building vibrating as it tried, quite ineffectually, to resist their ardor.

He ran to the remaining picture window and saw only pristine white fur, and the small kitchen window showed much the same view. The front door rattled in its frame, and he could hear the remains of the front porch being reduced to splinters. Peter's hips bucked, drawing back and thrusting once again, the musky odor of the macro's nethers managing to overpower the smell of sawdust and snow.

He watched in frank amazement as a crack formed in the ceiling, driving forwards with a slow, almost careless inexorability to cross the entire length of the house, a rounded bulge forming just behind it. For a moment the universe seemed to pause, holding its breath in anticipation, and Riley following its example.

He wisely stepped back when Benjamin withdrew his hips, the ceiling falling in where the crack marked the passage of the colossal white rabbit's shaft. There was not much of an attic to speak of, just some simple and aged lath and plaster, and even the lumps that bounced off of his head hardly bothered him. It was, despite the chaos, almost majestic, like watching a whale breach.

And what a blowhole!

Benjamin drove forward again, Peter mimicking him from the opposite side of the house. In Riley's mind's eye he could see them kneeling, hands holding his childhood home as they would tenderly a lover, knowing that their newest little friend was inside, watching. The structure didn't seem to be protesting too strenuously anymore, and he had to wonder how much of it was even still sound, and how much was simply being held up by the brother's presence?

He walked forward, timing their motions with his own and found that standing near the remains of his formerly comfortable couch, he could extend his hands and caress both rabbits at the apex of their thrusts, dark brown Peter beside him and cloud-white Benjamin above.

"Mmmm, his little hands..."

"I know... I've always loved that feeling..."

His neighbors might not be even remotely close, but he had to wonder just how visible the two titans were at such a distance! They were undoubtedly larger than his house, and if the audibly creaking flesh was any indication, were continuing to grow more magnificent by the minute. Veins like firehoses flexed and strained just beneath their velour-like skin, their glans flaring an angry, passionate crimson.

"I can't believe you can even feel me," he crooned, sliding his leg alongside Peter's enormity, Benjamin's dipping so low he could almost stand on his tip-toes and kiss the underside.

"Mmmmm, of course we can, love..."

"We'd be poor dates if we just... ooohhh, yes, right there... just ignored you..."

"I hope you don't feel left out!"

The heat coming off of them in waves banished any thought of how cold it must be outside, to the point that Riley was starting to sweat. Yeah, it's entirely from the heat, he thought wryly, more aroused than he could ever recall being and more than he ever thought possible. "I'm... I'm honored," he breathed, fulfilling one little dream and standing on his tiptoes, pressing his lips against the underside of Benjamin's tip.

There was a gasp of shock from outside the house, the snowy white cock flexing enormously and taking another chunk out of the ceiling. It quivered and creaked like an oak in a high wind, and when it eventually lowered again Riley could hear the older bunny breathing heavy. "He really knows... how to show his appreciation, dear brother!"

"I feel left out of something," Peter pouted, thumping his hips against the side of the house and tilting the entire building, what remained of it, several more degrees to one side.

Riley didn't need any prompting, throwing himself against the side of the put-out rabbit's endowment, burying his face against the paper-thin and steel-tight flesh, showing the smaller (hah!) lapine just how he felt. "I could never leave you out!"

As Benjamin's had, Peter's shaft swelled suddenly, bucking into the air and nearly throwing the small human clear. He clung on for dear life, heedless of the impacts of their renewed vigor on what was left of his house. The roof groaned and sagged visibly above him, from the weight of either one or both their bodies. Whatever sound the old timbers might have been making were masked by the dazed moans from the brothers, a sound that Riley recognized, though it had been a while since he'd made it himself.

Oh my gosh, they're kissing...!

For some reason, that was what pushed him over the edge. With Peter's cock surging higher and Benjamin's angling lower and lower as the enormous macro continued to grow, he found himself pressed deliciously between them once more, and it seemed as though his orgasm were being squeezed out of him! He spasmed over and over again, running his hands, his lips, his entire body against the pair, sweat slicking his skin and steam actually rising off of their own as the night air crept in.

"He's..."

"I know..."

"I'm..."

"I know...!"

"Please..."

"Oh, yes, dear brother, oh yes..."

The next few minutes of Riley's life were a bit of a blur, for several reasons. Firstly, his eyes were still crossed from his own climax, and blinking away the fog seemed like an awful lot of work. The last lightbulb had been destroyed during their last little growth spurt, and what little he could make out was illuminated by the moonlight coming through the holes in the ceiling.

Pressed as he was between them, he was operating more on touch than sight. Tendons like steel cables shuddered, lifting him off of the ground, veins no longer pulsing but permanently dilated. Peter and Benjamin's lungs pumped like bellows, each thrust of their hips buffeting him with fur, spinning him around.

They're getting faster... that smell... oh Lord...

"Riley?"

A pause. "I don't think he's in a position to speak right now..."

"Mmmm, I think you're right. I hope he can hear me. Riley... is this how you imagined your first time with us?"

He couldn't speak if he'd tried, trapped from head to toe. He could still move around a little, though, and not sure which was speaking, he tried to squeeze each shaft as hard as he could. As if I had any chance of hurting them!

They both shivered, and there was a chuckle from above. "I hope one squeeze means yes..."

"Mmmm, I got one, too!"

"I'm having a lovely time as well. I don't... nnnggg, lower... don't think we've ever had anyone quite so... accepting of us before!"

"Ohhh, he squeezed again! He agrees!"

"How should we show our... our gratitude, dear brother?"

"I can think of one... nnnfff... or two ways..."

"Two, definitely."

"I love you."

"And I you, br'er rabbit. And I you."

All around him, rubbing back and forth so hard he half expected them to start a fire, their cocks bulged anew, as though everything up until now had been mere demonstration. He wished he could see it, but he supposed that given the choice between seeing it and being in the middle of it, he was really getting the better deal!

The smell of their musk and seed reached maddening levels, and he realized that what slicked his flesh against theirs was not just sweat. It was sweet and salty on his tongue at the same time, their flavors mixing with his own far less impressive amounts.

"Enough... foreplay..." boomed one of the bunnies, seemingly no longer caring if the neighbors heard. An incredibly deep, strangely foreboding noise filled Riley's ears, like an inch-thick sheet of rubber being pulled apart by giants.

"Do you think... he's ready?"

Riley nodded madly, squeezing the twin walls of flesh around him, trying to make plain his readiness.

"Do you think... he can handle this?"

With the last of his available breath, Riley cried out that he was indeed capable of handling it, but he might as well have just been shouting into the world's biggest, warmest pillow. No sound reached his ears, and he doubted even the bunnies' superior hearing could have detected it.

The side-to-side, back-and-forth motions of his cocoon ceased, and he found himself spun around as both rabbits withdrew their shockingly aroused shafts. He tumbled to the ground, gasping for air and giggling drunkenly, arms shaking weakly as he tried to right himself. "I can... I can handle it..." he said woozily, staggering to his feet.

Moonlight cascaded in through the Swiss cheese roof. Dust and musk swirled around him, alternately hot and icy cool against his skin. He felt drained, exhausted, his entire body throbbing from the intimacy of their ministrations. They should have flattened him, he knew, with motions like that. It shouldn't have been possible to withstand that kind of force.

Possible... impossible... real... fantasy... do I even care anymore?

When he managed to focus his eyes on more than just the wreckage of his home, his breath caught. He could just make out the outlines of the gigantic bunnies, obviously snow-white Peter far more easily than dusky-brown Benjamin, kneeling astride either side of his home. From this low angle, they seemed even bigger, majestically rising high above and blocking out the stars...

... but his attention was focused with laser intensity slightly lower down. Proportionally, the bunnies had grown far more between their thighs than anywhere else, each so ponderously endowed that he doubted they would even be able to walk. Fortunately, they didn't seem inclined to try; they were staring right back at him, breathing shallowly and stroking themselves with long, slow, confident motions.

Benjamin's eyes squeezed shut and he hunched over, shuddering from the effort of holding back. "Riley," he wheezed, a whisper as loud as a hurricane.

Riley moved in a dreamlike fashion towards the quivering titan, reaching up and brushing his hand against the tip of Benjamin's shaft. "I know," he moaned.

"No..." Peter grunted, also starting to twitch with the strain. "You... you should hold onto something..."

He was halfway across what remained of his living room, wondering why the rabbits were so far apart, when the message broke through the fog. "Uhm... what?

"Hold onto something..."

"Now...!" echoed his brother.

They were no longer stroking, or at least no longer with both paws. Each had one fist clamped like a vise around the base, visibly shaking with tension, rolling their hips forwards gingerly as though afraid of breaking yet more of the house.

Riley had enough experience with his own anatomy to understand, and the part of his mind that was still arguing about fantasy and reality just packed its bags and left for the remainder of the night. "Oh, wow," he said yet again, finding one of the few archways left standing near the wreckage of his living room and holding on tight. "Are-"

While his home looked thoroughly sundered, enough of the frame was intact that when the macrobunnies thrust themselves forward one final, climactic time, they all but sealed it. Enough of the roof had fallen in, though, that if you were close enough to the scene of romantic carnage, you would have heard the cries of fearful ecstasy that poured forth from within.

Furry fingers twined together, pressing themselves against either side of the old-fashioned home, loins buried hilt-deep, Peter and Benjamin threw back their heads and moaned lustfully into the night as they erupted together. The walls creaked and groaned alarmingly, and not just from their barely-restrained thrashing. Seed trickled from a hundred little leaks, splashing against their fur and forcing apart the planks on the walls. In a shockingly short amount of time, it began to flow, and then gout, from the attic vents, the main floor already starting to bulge outwards like a wooden balloon...

Riley's cries had been silenced after the first moments of their climax, but they seemed to not care. Paws still clasped together, their arms encircled the house, doing their best to hold it together just a little longer. The pressure built, their orgiastic release far outpacing the building's capacity. One by one the windows exploded outwards from the force, and still they came, over and over again.

Soon, though, old-school timbers surrendered to the titanic lapines. With a final splintering crash, the entire home split like an overripe melon. Riley, swirled around like a leaf in whitewater rapids, tumbled head over heels into the night. He caught glimpses of Peter and Benjamin kneeling above him, vast as mountains, heads thrown back in delirious exultation, and while a tiny part of his mind was preoccupied with the sudden and total annihilation of his house and belongings, he felt it was a small price to pay to find that all of his dreams had come true.

Laying on his back, waves of seed washing over him and reminding him of a tropical, heady beach, he stared at the stars and giggled woozily to himself. Tree-sized erections finally flagging, shoulders slumped with delicious exhaustion, the bunnies lay down to either side of him, leaning down to nuzzle him with their muzzles.

"You sleep now," Benjamin yawned, reaching out and patting the white rabbit's bus-sized shaft.

"And dream sweet dreams," Peter continued, stroking one finger down Riley's body. The soaked little human raised his arms weakly, but found he lacked even the strength to reply.

"Because tomorrow..."

"Will be a big day..."

"For everyone..."

"Goodnight..."

"My darling..."

---

When he finally surfaced from half-remembered dreams of warmth, smothering and limitless contentment, it took Riley several minutes to sort fantasy from reality.

He was laying in his bed, his enormous, overstuffed and obviously intact bed, pinned beneath a mound of feathery comforters. Sunlight streamed in through the old weather-faded windows, and dancing ribbons of glare and shadow danced on the smooth ceiling, reflected from the stained-glass bedside lamp.

"Awwww, damn," he moaned softly, closing his eyes and clinging desperately to the memories of last night. It was real! It had to have been! I felt it! I tasted it! I... I... it couldn't have been real, he eventually thought, sorrow piercing his heart like a lead torpedo.

Slowly, morosely, he sat up, shedding blankets to either side and feeling the bone-deep exhaustion. Maybe I'm getting sick... maybe it was just a fever-dream... I don't feel like I have a fever, though...

He swung his legs out of bed, toes searching for his fuzzy bunny slippers, when a strange sound reached his ears. High-pitched, wet, insistent, and something he was absolutely not expecting to hear in his empty, lonely home.

The kettle was whistling its piercing cry from the kitchen, pitch still rising as it reached a full boil.

Riley slid into the kitchen sideways, seeing the kettle exactly where he'd left it the night before, just moments prior to the knock at his front door. The tea bags were all laid out, and the teacup was still on the tray.

Only now there were three teacups.

And a little note.

Fingers shaking, wearing only brown-and-white boxers and fuzzy bunny slippers, Riley picked up the little card embossed with the Fur Real Dating Service logo. He flipped it open, and read the few lines of text written in flowing and quite literally purple prose.

_ Riley _

_ We had a lovely time last night. _

_ We told you we always set things right. _

_ Your website login will work now. _

_ Please fill out the satisfaction survey. _

_ See you tonight... _

_ P.S. For a limited time only, _

_ you can recommend a friend! _